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this is a song fic

Blue October's 18th Floor Balcony

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I close my eyes and I smile
Knowing that everything is alright
To the core
So close that door
Is this happening?

Morgan's breathless as he lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He stares at the phone, dial tone ominous and loud- filling the room with it's death toll- the phone's dying.

His heart slams against his chest.

This can't be real.

My breath is on your hair

I'm unaware
That you've opened the blinds
And let the city in
God, you held my hand
As we stand
Taking in everything

Morgan shutters a sob. He just saw Reid and he was fine. FINE goddamn it! He- was just at Reid's apartment, not even an hour ago and he was there...he was with Morgan and everything was okay.

He kissed Reid before he left and Reid took Morgan's hand and squeezed it tight.

He was fine...

And I knew it from the starts
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony.
We're both flying away

They both knew the risk, but it doesn't hurt any less.

Doesn't mean that each breath isn't a struggle.

That Morgan knows how to deal any better.

Reid lay his head on Morgan's stomach- they both look up at the stars trying so hard not to doze off. The stars wink and nod in the open air- Gideon's cabin their way of escaping the pressures of their jobs. The stress and fustration melts away as Morgan slowly runs his fingers through Reid's hair- loving the silky slide of his fingertips.

Reid sighs as he looks up at Morgan and smiles.

So we talked about mom's and dad's
About family pasts
Just getting to know where we came from
Our hearts were on display
For all to see
I can't believe this is happening to me

They wanted to get away from it all.

And somehow they got on the topics of family- and Morgan and Reid let the words ebb and flow in the Mountain air.

It was beautiful.

Morgan told Reid more about his family, and Reid about his own.

They were opening up more than ever- and Morgan never felt anything like this before. He wanted Reid to know everything about him- and he wanted know all there was about Reid.

And now he's gone.

And I raised my hand as if to show you that I was yours
That I was so yours for the taking
I'm so yours for the taking
That's when I felt the wind pick up
I grabbed the rail while choking up
These words to say and then you kissed me...

They were going to tell the team about them...their families-

it just doesn't make any sense.

Morgan curls on his side, touching the place where Reid should be. His body shakes and with each cry- his heart breaks that much more.

It was Reid who had kissed him first- the warm breeze traced across their skin as Reid laced his fingers through Morgan's and squeezed. Morgan chuckles softly as Reid sits up, resettling next to him on the ground.

Reid smoothed a hand across Morgan's jaw, and Morgan's breath hitches.

"I-" Morgan tries for words, but can't manage to find the right ones.

Reid licks his lips as he leans in.

"I'm yours." Reid's breath ghosts over Morgan's lips as Reid's brushes his against them.

I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony...
We're both flying away.

Morgan tries to catch his breath but it's too much.

Someone took Reid's life.

Someone-

And I'll try to sleep
To keep you in my dreams
'til I can bring you home with me
I'll try to sleep
And when I do I'll keep you in my... dreams

Morgan closes his eyes and he sees him- Reid.

He needs him here. HE NEEDS HIM HERE!

And that's never going to happen now.

There's so many things-

So many things not done, not said...and now it's too late.

I knew it from the start
So my arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
And we're trying so hard not to fall asleep
So here we are
On this 18th floor balcony, yeah
I knew it from the start
My arms are open wide
Your head is on my stomach
No, we're not going to sleep
Here we are
On this 18th floor balcony... we're both..
Flying away

Reid pulls back a little and smiles-

"I'm yours, you do know that right?" His eyes reflect the moon and the stars.

Morgan nods, breathless.

"I'm- I love you Reid." Morgan runs his hand over Reid's arm until it connects with his hand. Reid entangles them together. He kisses the top of Reid's head.

"I love you too Morgan." Reid settles his head against Morgan's chest, the stolid beat of Morgan's heart drifting him off to sleep.