Enter Author of Kindness and Awesome.

Hello, members of my favorite fandom! I present to you my newest story, 'Freaking Magical.' It's a multi-couple multi-chapter South Park fic of greatness. Inside is Candy, Benny and, of course, Style. Lots of het, hope ya'll don't mind ;)

This first chapter is uber short only to set the stage. The stage is South Park High School on the eve of prom. I figure, prom season, right? Why the hell not, I can live vicariously through South Park because mine was disappointingly drama-free, lol!

I own zero.

"Alright, guys." Kenny McCormick slammed his lunch tray on the table and his friends jumped. "We need to talk about the elephant in the room, and for once I'm not talking about Cartman."

"EY!"

Stan rolled his eyes and tossed another Cheezy Poof at Kyle, who snickered and caught it in his mouth. Cartman looked ready to punch Kenny.

"I kid, man. Settle down. I'm talking about prom."

Kyle turned to face Kenny abruptly and the Cheezy Poof Stan launched at him landed in his frizzy orange hair. "Prom?"

"Yeah, stupid. It's three months away and Bebe's been going insane. She's making me arrange the logistics stuff."

Stan stopped putting Cheezy Poofs in Kyle's hair. "Logistics? Like what?"

Kenny sighed and took a sheet of notebook paper from his pocket. "Bebe says... transportation, dinner, table arrangements, matching her dress, time of arrival, list of fun songs, slow songs and popular songs, after parties and Kevlar vest."

"Kevlar?" Kyle asked.

"Yeah. She said if I die during prom she'll kill me three times in a row with a waffle iron."

"Man," Stan laughed. "I am so glad I'm single."

"That's another thing," Kenny said nervously. "She and Wendy decided together that asymmetry at the table is unacceptable. You all have to bring dates."

"What?" Kyle sat up abruptly, shaking several Cheezy Poofs loose from his hair. "Why do they get to decide whether or not we bring dates?"

Stan and Cartman shook their heads gravely. "You just don't understand, dude," Stan said. "They're women. They control everything."

"They're like the Jews of our sex lives," added Cartman. Kyle shot him a look.

"Your girlfriend's a fucking psycho, Kenny."

"I know. But she has the most magnificent rack."

…

"Yeah, I know, baby. But-"

"But nothing, Kenny. Everyone brings a date and everyone smiles for the goddamned pictures."

"Kyle's gay, Bebe."

"Then he or his date will wear a dress to make it all symmetrical. And all the couples have to match. By the way, I found the most amazing dress, but it's rosso corsa. We need to get you a new tux."

"Wait, why won't the old scarlet scheme work?"

"Because we aren't inbred fucking hicks from Butt Fuck Nowhere, that's why! God, it's like you're trying to give me an aneurism!"

…

Cartman stared at his cell phone for an hour that night, keeping his thumb on the screen so her picture didn't fade out.

…

Stan and Kyle played video games for two hours at Stan's house. Kyle's reasons were Senioritis and a 4.38 GPA. Stan's reasons were different.

"So. Prom, huh?"

"Prom," Kyle answered, focusing on his soldier on the screen.

"Kind of a big night, huh?"

"Eh. People always make it out to be bigger than it is."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. How could it possibly live up to all the expectations people place on it?"

They went silent and shot more Nazis in the face.

"Well, any idea who you're going to ask?"

Kyle brightened and paused the game. "Actually, I had this awesome plan!"

"I like your awesome plans! They're awesome!"

"Okay, so Bebe and Wendy are demanding boy-girl-boy-girl seating, right? And they know I'm gay so I call bullshit."

"Totally."

"So my plan is this." Kyle leaned conspiratorially toward Stan. "Instead of bringing an actual date, dress up one of those blow-up dolls in a prom gown and sit next to that!"

Stan tried desperately to keep the corners of his lips down, but he let out a loud snort of laughter. "Oh my God, that's gonna be fucking incredible! Bebe's totally gonna bust a tit!"

Stan and Kyle laughed, ignoring the game paused on the TV. Kyle let his chuckles die down and he turned back to Stan.

"What about you? Any idea who you're gonna ask?"

"Some," Stan smiled. "But I think they might already have plans."

End chapter one. Short chapter is short. Review. I update quicker when reviews flood my inbox, even if it's total hate.

"Quit making me look like a pussy, bitch." You are a pussy, Cartman. "At least tell them who it is so no one thinks I'm a creepy stalker freak!" Oh please. Who else could it be? These people are smarter than you give them credit for. Now go to sleep.