warnings: swearing, depressing situation
disclaimer: I don't own Aoi no Exorcist.

Breaking Point

He set down his book bag and Kurikara carefully on the floor by his desk and sank into the bed with a weary sigh. An arm came to rest against his eyes. How did the situation get so out of hand so easily?

"Just die, please."

He never believed that his brother could hate him because no matter how long he had been keeping secrets from him or how high of a rank he has obtained or how much more mature and smarter he is, he will always be his sweet, gentle otouto. Maybe that's why those words didn't hurt the first time. Because it was Yukio.

And he was right, wasn't he? Yukio forgave him for their father's death, and promised to take care of him like how he used to take care of Yukio. He finally started to make some friends in cram school, and they respected him even with his brute and honest personality. Things were finally starting to look up.

I will not be the last one to tell you that, or indeed to think it.

Until his 'friends' found out about Satan. The fucking bastard that he had the pleasure of sharing genes with. In retrospect, he knew he wouldn't be able to keep the secret for long anyways. He just wasn't the type of person to hide things from the people closest to him. Still, it hurt to gain their respect and approval, and have it taken away because he just happened to be the biological son of the most powerful demon. Yukio was Satan's son too, wasn't he? Why did everyone accept his brother but not him?

'Rin?' Kuro leaped daintily from the window sill onto his bed as soon as he noticed that his master had returned. 'Rin? Rin? Are you sleeping?' The cat familiar batted at his hair, but still he did not respond. The small kitten's brows furrowed, and he sank his little teeth into the boy's hand.

The demon-boy yelped in pain, and finally lifted his arm to stare at his – father's – familiar. The creature looked up at him with beseeching eyes. 'Come on Rin, let's play! Play! Should I go get Yukio too?'

That's right. Everyone wanted Yukio. Not the messed up son. Never the messed up son. The demon-boy stood up, dark hair shadowing his eyes like a midnight shroud, and walked slowly to his desk. He reached out his hand and took out Kurikara from its case. The sword fitted naturally in his hand. He admired its simple handle before gripping it with a tight fist. "Get out," he whispered to Kuro. When he turned around and saw that the black cat was still lounging comfortably on his bed, he snapped. Icy blue eyes glinted with malicious intent.

"I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT YOU LOUSY CAT!" He ripped Kurikari free from confinement and pointed it at the frightened Kuro, blue flames dancing along its edge and surrounding his body. The cat familiar eyes widened in fear and disbelief, and as the demon-boy approached steadily with the sharp end of the sword raised, Kuro scampered out the window with tears flowing from his eyes.

He contemplated chasing the cat down and to show that he was the master, therefore the familiar should listen to him when he gave an order when a flashing light in the corner of his eye caught his attention. From the mirror placed on his desk, he saw what everyone else must have seen when they looked at him. A demon. Slowly, he sheathed his sword, watching the flames recede from his body with a detached eye. He stared at his reflection with a blank expression long after the blue fire faded, his fangs and nails shortened, and his tail tucked away. How ironic. He looked just like a regular human. Without a warning, his knees suddenly buckled, and the demon-boy collapsed onto the floor. Maniacal laughter bubbled behind his lips, gushing out like spurts of blood, staining the ears of the living. The walls heard his misery, took it in and gave it back, a solid uncaring the fuck do they know? What right do they have to judge him?

"Shut up! SHUT UP!" He screamed, punching the hard walls with his bare fists, ripping down posters, scattering papers and books, kicking down chairs, slicing through his bed sheets and pillows, wanting them to feel just a little bit of how much he's hurting.

Because fuck, he wasn't superman. He didn't have cool superpowers and save the day one abandoned puppy at a time. As emotional and girly as it sounds, he had feelings too, god damn it. Emotions trampled by people's uncaring and cruel words. No one's invincible, certainly not him. He might be a demon, but he wasn't a monster.

As his rage subsided, he finally noticed the ache in his eyes, the wetness on his face, and the state of his room. He slouched against the walls, running a hand over his face angrily to wipe away the tears. "This is why no one wants to be your friend," he thought furiously to himself. "You're a fucking animal. Who would want to be near a freak like you? Who likes a guy with claws and fangs and tail like a damn demon? Just die, please."

He tore at his skin and tail with his claws, ignoring the pain and trying to erase the evidence of his ancestry. He felt extreme satisfaction as he desecrated his body, the body given to him by the Devil.

The sound of a key twisting in the door knob welcomed Yukio to a scene from his worst nightmare. The books in his arms dropped to the floor at the sight of deep furrows tracing bloody trails down his twin's arms. He knelt down next to the demon-boy and grabbed his arms. "Nii-san," he said shakily, trying to inject calm and patience while beating back the fear for his brother, "Stop."

The frenzied creature froze, and Yukio took the opportunity to wrap his arms around his brother, his hand running through dark strands to soothe the beast in his arms. Rin cried silently in his brother's arms, a lost boy seeking solace in his only friend's embrace. The racing heartbeats in his ear thumped reassuringly, proof that his brother was still with him, that his brother had not abandoned him.

"You're a person, just like all of us, Rin," Yukio whispered into his twin's ear. "I won't let you hurt anymore."

For one moment, Rin allowed himself to hope.

the end

a/n: this series has quickly carved a place in my heart (metaphorically, of course)
sad that my first contribution to this fandom has to be so depressing.
(purple, just die, please /shot)