Warning(IMPORTANT): This story will have a lot of religious bashing, cursing, and some gore. I'll be messing with the dead and poking fun at some common views on different religions. Those of you who get offended easily and are zealous church fanatics, then please don't read. I have my own beliefs in "God", but I do not agree with a lot of the 'religious stuff'. I'm not atheist. I was born a Christian, but I rarely go to church. Please, if you read this, then bear in mind that this is fiction and all of it is made-up. This has nothing to do with my beliefs and I don't REALLY mean to offend anyone, that's why I'm giving you guys a fair warning…

Summary: A helpless human male, penniless and poor, wanted so badly to have wealth that he would even make a deal with the Blue Devil, a demon from hell. In exchange for his wish, the demon only wants ownership of the first male child to be born in the man's family. The human happily agrees, unaware of the chaos it would bring.

Ichigo, the chosen male, is oblivious to his dark fate… but he doesn't really care… the only things the poor guy wants is for a certain blue-haired man to leave him the fuck alone and he'd really like it if his perverted twin brother could keep it in his fucking pants.

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Debauched Demons Deliver the Deadliest Deals

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Chapter One..Uno...Eins.…Ich.….Unus

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The man fell to his knees, skin scraping against the marbled floor and his forehead bowed submissively. All humans made this position in the presence of demons, whether they be common citizens or kings; They knew they were nothing but lesser beings when placed before something much greater.

Dark blue eyes blazed to life as they glared down at the pitiful sight.

"Why have you summoned me?"

He smirked when his deep, grumbling voice made the human quiver in fear.

"Plea—" the man was about to look up from the ground to gaze upon the ominous creature, but the demon quickly placed his bare foot atop the man's head and pushed down until those worthless eyes were back where they were supposed to be: looking down at the ground. "I wish to be wealthy and powerful." The man chocked out his request, throat dry and raspy from fear. The demon threw his head back and cackled loudly, sounding like a hysteric hyena that had just devoured a lion.

"Worthless!" He spat, a sneer tugging at his lips while his eyes still danced with glee. "Ya summoned me here for somethin' so meaningless? You'd rather have gold than vengeance? Wealth than blood? Ya want riches yet you're too cowardly ta think of somethin' more worthwhile?" The human remained bowed, his face planted against the floor, and shoulders shivering. "Fine… If that's what ya really want…" The human still remained silent—respectfully awaiting what the demon wanted in return. "Since your request lacks… amusement… all I want for compensation is the first son in your family. I can already see that you won't have a male heir, since your wife will only bear females. But, somewhere down the line… He will be born. If you don't come back to this place and hand him to me yourself, while he's still only a baby, then I will take him by force. And if you run…" The demon swept his hand down and grabbed the human by his throat, black claws digging into soft flesh. The human gasped and tried to look away from those dangerous blue eyes, but it was nye impossible. "I'll warn you just this once human… if you try to hide him from me, then, when you die, I will make sure your time in hell is very… unpleasant."

The man tried to choke in some air, but the hand gripping his neck was making his lungs convulse. "Do I make myself clear, Mr. Kurosaki?" He dropped the human back to the ground and watched as the worthless creature bowed over and over again.

"Yes, yes! I'll do anything! I will bring him to you the very day he's born!" The man swore before bolting out of the old ruins.

The demon watched him go, his face held nothing but contempt. He was left alone in complete silence… or so he hoped.

"Why are ya so interested in a baby, Jeagerjaques?"

The blue-eyed demon growled and slowly turned to face the familiar voice.

"That is none of your business, Jiruga."

The other demon cackled in reply before stepping into the moonlight which peeked through the roofless building. His long, black hair didn't even shine; it was like his very presence repelled all light. However, you could still see his four arms and twisted, porcelain horns. And, if you looked directly at his face, you'd see that he only had one remaining eye. His left eye had been gouged out.

For punishment.

And he leaves it uncovered for the purpose of scaring humans and to show it off to the other demons, like it was some kind of prize, and, to some, it kind of was.

"No need to be snappy. I'm jus' curious. It's not every day I find the infamous Blue-Devil interested in somethin'…"

Jeagerjaques chuckled lowly and reached up to slide a rough finger along his sharp horns, which curved down and then up in a semi circle to rest against his broad shoulders. "I'm tired of watching these worthless humans who don't know how to live life. I'm going to teach this baby how to really have fun."

"So… Do we all have ta call ya 'daddy' now?"

The blue-eyed demon snickered in reply before roughly grabbing hold of the other's horn. He gripped the bone-like appendage so hard that it creaked under his overwhelming strength. However, Jiruga was accustomed to being beaten, due to his trouble-making expertise, so he didn't even blink when he was roughly shoved to the ground.

"No… Only Ichigo can call me that…"

"Ichigo?" Jiruga echoed with a smirk.

"Yea… That's what the baby's name is, and I 'aint gonna change his given name."

"Whatever you say…" Now that his curiosity was sated, Jiruga disappeared in a cloud of smoke, leaving Jeagerjaques alone to his thoughts.

"I can already see it… Ichigo's gonna be the one to break him" The smirk was back, "Allowing us to finally rest in peace."

About 65 years later…

"God dammit, Shiro! Why are you always getting yourself in trouble! I hate it when you do shit like this!"

The albino teen frowned at the unusually high-pitched voice and smirked when he came face to face with his enraged twin brother.

"And I hate it when yer voice gets all squeaky when you're mad. You seriously need to hit puberty already or at least get la—…" Shiro was quickly cut off by a hand smashing against his smirking lips.

"Well, as I'm sure you've noticed by now, it's kind of hard to 'get laid' when living in a House of God."

Shiro rolled his eyes before prying his brother's hand away from his face. "Well yea, Ichigo, after 18 years I think I woulda noticed where we lived! And, ya know, for a 'child of God', ya sure do curse a lot, didja know tha'?" His brother gave him the usual scowl, but he continued, undeterred, "And you can easily get laid here… Do ya have any idea how much that Hime-chick looks at ya?" Ichigo blushed lightly at that and avoided his brother's gaze by glaring at the floor.

"Orihime? Are you fucking insane? She's a Nun!" Ichigo's face turned beat red as he hissed, making Shiro cackle loudly, but he was quickly silenced with another hand. "SHH! Come on, before Father Sousuke comes looking." He quickly took Shiro's hand before dashing away.

They both ran through the cathedrals, their bare feet barely making a sound against the dusty, wooden floors. They whooshed passed the silent hall. The hall was flooded with brightly burning candles, and they accidentally blew out a few in their rush.

They skidded around the corner leading to the basement. Ichigo grabbed hold of the metal, ring-like doorknob that was bolted to the door and tugged. The wood creaked and Shirosaki quickly looked behind them to make sure they weren't being followed.

The coast was clear.

Ichigo tugged him inside before locking the door behind them. The door didn't actually have a lock, so they had to use a plank of wood as a substitute—by leaning it against the door at an angle, with the bottom wedged between two jagged tiles.

Shiro nodded and then took the lead; He dragged his brother through the dark basement while avoiding the arched stone pillars that he knew were there. This was familiar territory to them, and it made them feel safe, but what made them feel even more secure was their 'secret room'.

It was secret because, obviously, it was hidden.

They only found it because, when they were about ten years old, they'd gotten into a fight and Shirosaki had pushed his brother against the wall so hard that some of the bricks moved backwards. Curious, they completely forgot about their stupid quarrel to investigate. They'd pushed the blocks until they made the indented shape of a small door.

Once the last brick was clicked back, into place, they all shifted by themselves, moving sideways to reveal a narrow hallway. It led to a rather large, cylinder-shaped room.

The room, like the basement, was made of the same hard blocks of cement, and a ledge circled the entire room, looking like a long bench. They had both brought a bed down and they hoarded all their toys and small treasures there, knowing that they would be safe. There was even a small window a couple of yards up. It was rather small, but it was big enough to let light pour into the tall room.

The twins knew that this must've been a prison cell at some point, because, lining the window, were black iron bars. Shackles had also lain on the ledge for some time, but Shirosaki dragged those things out a long time ago, because they'd freaked Ichigo out too much.

Shiro was unusually protective of his, technically, older brother.

They both shared a room, up in one of the towers of this huge church, but they rarely went up there.

Sure… The view had been great for the first couple of years… But, after a while, that beautiful view from the window began to look more and more like a broken promise. It teased them constantly, beckoning to them, but that hope was always crushed when Father Aizen refused to let them leave.

Ichigo had never set foot outside of the property.

Of course, he could go outside, in the fresh air, but he could only go so far before he was blocked by a 20ft wall. An obstacle he'd tried to conquer many, many times.

"So… What'd you do this time?" Ichigo demanded, his voice stern and his eyes narrowed. Shiro rolled his golden eyes while running a hand through his snow-white hair.

"Jus' the usual…" He sighed, unable to lie to his brother.

Ichigo groaned and he looked like he was going to strangle his brother.

"Why do you do stuff like that! I know that you have no real belief in anything higher than yourself, but could you at least show a little fucking respect? The monks aren't here for you to flirt with!" Shirosaki remained silent, his face void of any type of emotion. "And now you're starting to do that 'black magic' shit! Do you have any idea how many times I've had to cover for you when Father Sousuke found all those strange books about Voodoo? You only do these things to get Father Sousuke all riled up!" This is when Shiro finally snapped. He swiftly stood up and narrowed his eyes at Ichigo, making the orange-haired teen snap his jaw shut. He moved forward until he had his brother cornered, wide-eyed, and shivering like a small mouse.

"So what if I do! It's the only source of entertainment in this damned building! I never volunteered ta be here, Ichi! And neither did you! We're being held here like fuckin' prisoners! We deserve to be outside, like normal kids! So stop talking about Aizen like he's a fuckin' saint! 'Cause he 'aint!" Shiro slammed his hands against the wall on either side of Ichigo's head, making him flinch. "He's a greedy, lecherous, hypocritical old man, who only keeps us here 'cause our overprotective mother begged him on her deathbed!" At the mention of their mother, Ichigo started to tremble and he unconsciously felt around his chest to finger her ring.

The wedding ring that their father had never came to get back.

They'd been too young to really remember what their father looked like, but they could recall him being there. They could hear his voice… They could remember having younger sisters… happiness… a family, but most of those memories have been shrouded by crosses, holy water, and a bible full of jumbled Latin words.

Ichigo's breathing became erratic and his chest tightened painfully.

Shirosaki's eyes widened and he immediately gathered the panicked teen into his arms.

"Ahw shit, Ichi! I didn't mean it. Fuck… I'm sorry…" He mumbled into his brother's ear soothingly while rubbing Ichigo's arms up to his shoulder and down his back. He slowly brought them to the floor so he could curl the teen's shivering form into his lap protectively.

After a while, Ichigo gradually stopped quivering and his breathing evened out into long exhales.

"Shiro…"

The pale teen hummed in reply, signaling that he was listening. He continued to smooth his fingers through Ichigo's short hair in a calming motion. He'd sooner kill himself than admit that he had an extremely soft side towards his brother… but that didn't mean that it wasn't obvious to anyone who saw them.

"I…" Ichigo choked on his words, seemingly reluctant to speak them.

Shirosaki silently urged him to speak by tugging at his hair.

"I want…" Ichigo gulped down the lump in his throat so he could continue, "I want to get out of here… I'm tired of having religions shoved down my throat." He clenched his fingers in his brother's black shirt, as if the thought of leaving pained him, but he smiled when Shiro's grip on him tightened.

"Oh? What happened to 'I wanna be a priest when I grow up'?"

Ichigo smirked and looked up at him with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"… Fuck that."

Shirosaki cackled at that, his grin full of glee and his eyes full of pride as he stared down at his fragile brother.

"Now that's wha' I like ta hear…"

Ichigo grinned and wrapped his arms around Shiro, having to twist awkwardly in his brother's lap so he could fully hug him.

After a few minutes of laughter and embracing, Ichigo started speaking again. "Hey Shiro…"

"Mm?"

"Do you think I'll ever get laid?"

"…"

"…?"

"Ya wanna get laid right now?" Ichigo looked up to see Shirosaki smirking and raising one white brow suggestively.

"That's not funny, you pervert!" He shouted while pushing at Shiro's face, making the pale teen laugh in loud, obnoxious bursts.

"I'm bein' serious, Ichi. Ya haven't even had yer first kiss yet!" Shirosaki snickered when Ichigo's face went pink.

"Neither have you!"

Shiro quickly looked away at that, avoiding eye contact like it was the plague.

"… Shirosaki..."

The albino still refused to look toward his brother.

"How! When! Wait… You haven't…. you know… have you?"

Shirosaki couldn't help but smirk when he realized that Ichigo couldn't even say it.

"You mean Sex?" He drawled, making Ichigo's face turned ten different shades of red.

"Don't say it, dumbass!"

"Why not?"

"It's embarrassing…"

Shirosaki grinned at his brother and shook his head. 'He's just way too innocent for his own good…'

"Why yes, Ichi… I have had sex." Ichigo froze and his face looked like it was ripe enough to pop right off his neck, like a berry. Shirosaki couldn't help but continue, "And it was good. We fucked all night long. His ass was nice and tight and his lips felt so good around my—" He stopped when Ichigo buried his face in his hands and shook his head around frantically, as if trying to free himself from the mental images.

"What ever! I'm going to sleep! Goodnight!" Ichigo immediately hopped off his twin's lap and onto their bed. He crawled under the covers and lay on his side, his back facing Shirosaki.

"Hey… I thought ya wanted ta get outta here…"

Ichigo peeked over his shoulder, his face expressing complete and utter confusion.

"Yeah but how—"

Shirosaki smirked and raised a hand to cut him off.

"Do ya want ta leave?" Ichigo slowly nodded his head, brown eyes wide and eager. "Then jus' follow me."

~~Meanwhile~~

"So I told him to mind his own business."

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"He wouldn't listen… so I had to claw out his throat."

"…"

"O' course not. It's obvious tha' the stupid rat was gonna go ahead an' snoop around. It was either I get rid o' 'im or deal with Mr. high-and-mighty when he found out about my devious lil' plans..."

"…"

"See? I knew you'd understand. You're the only one who seems ta get me."

The demon grinned as he looked towards the motionless body sitting beside him. Blue-ish arms were tied to the wooden chair and unseeing eyes were rolled back, red veins the only thing visible beneath wide eyelids.

The gaping wound over the man's chest had stopped bleeding a while ago.

"What do ya think I should do 'bout the… ya know…"

He frowned when the dead body remained silent.

"Are you even payin' attention?"

He poked at the man's bearded chin curiously, making the jaw move around stiffly and open up, revealing missing teeth and rotting gums.

"Ya know… I don't appreciate your tone…"

"…"

"Have it yer way then."

Jeagerjaques stood to his feet, brushed his shoulders, and readjusted his open, black suit jacket. He wore no tie and his collared shirt was a pale crimson color, which slightly clashed with his light-blue hair, but it looked good on him nonetheless.

Although he was still a demon, he was temporarily living in the human world, so he had to forgo the long nails, the dastardly horns, the curved fangs, and his beloved tail. He couldn't wait to get his mission over with, then he could go back to his castle where he had many… many incubi just waiting to be satisfied.

"Lord Jeagerjaques…"

The demon huffed and turned to the lowly servant who approached him.

"What?" He demanded, cobalt eyes narrowed dangerously. The lowly servant bowed his head apologetically before continuing.

"Lord Jiruga is here to see you, sire. He mentioned something about congratulating you and he kept referring to you as a 'daddy'."

Grimmjow's lips slowly stretched into a grin so wide that it practically split his face in two. Nearly all his teeth were visible and they gleamed balefully in the moonlight which spilled in through the balcony window.

"It's finally time ta have some fun!"

Grimmjow clapped his hands together and chuckled under his breath as he made his way out of the room. He paused at the doorway and said as an afterthought, "Hey, seneschallus."

The young servant looked up at the sound of his 'pet-name', as his master liked to call it.

"Sire?"

"Bring tha' corpse ta the chambers. Pantera's probably starvin'." Grimmjow jabbed his thumb in the direction of the lifeless body he'd been conversing with not too long ago.

"Yes, my lord. I'm sure she'll be very pleased."

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...TBC...

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