Beautiful

Kurt's back arches a little as Blaine pushes him still deeper into the couch, his boyfriend's warm weight bearing down on him. Blaine's hands come up and stroke down Kurt's waist, pulling at the gentle curves and toying with the edges of Kurt's shirt. Blaine moans a little as Kurt shifts against him, one leg coming up around Blaine's waist and pulling them closer. Blaine lowers his mouth, tracing it over Kurt's collar bones and neck, leaving those little marks that Kurt claims to hate. Blaine knows he's lying. Slowly, he lets his mouth drag up and up until it is hovering just above Kurt's mouth, their heavy breath mingling together in the small space between them.

"You're so beautiful, Kurt," Blaine breathes, finally lowering his mouth and pressing it softly against his boyfriend's. But something's wrong; Kurt has gone still against him, his leg slipped down and his mouth unmoving. Blaine pulls back a little, studying Kurt's face but all he gets is a quick glance before Kurt looks away again, eyes firmly fixed on anything other than Blaine.

"Kurt…" Blaine breathes softly, reaching one hand to touch Kurt's jaw, but his boyfriend just flinches away. Slowly, Blaine lets his hand drop and pulls himself off Kurt's body, missing the warmth beneath him as soon as they are separated. Awkwardly, Blaine fiddles with the loosened tie around his neck, tightening it again only minutes after Kurt had pulled it loose. Beside him, he feels Kurt sit upright, smoothing down his clothes and touching his hair. For a moment, neither of them speak, the oppressive silence weighing down on them both like a weight from above.

Finally, Blaine breaks the silence, self-consciously clearing his throat and glancing at the still boy beside him.

"Was I… were we going too fast, Kurt?" Blaine asks, finding the courage inside himself to lay one hand against Kurt's knee. Encouraged when it is not shrugged away, Blaine shifts closer until the sides of their bodies are once again touching. He feels happier when he and Kurt touch, contented and fulfilled.

"Do you love me?" Kurt asks suddenly, his voice coming out so fast that Blaine almost can't understand what is being said. But as soon as he does understand, he furrows his brow a little and then lets a tiny laugh slip from him. At once Kurt is on his feet, hurt and anger shining in his glasz eyes.

"I know it must seem like such a joke to you, that you could ever love someone like me, but really, Blaine, try for a little sensitivity," Kurt snaps defensively, arms coming up around himself as though he can physically stop Blaine from shattering his already frail self esteem. At once Blaine feels flooded with guilt at the expression on his boyfriend's face and the pain displayed clearly in his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Blaine tries again.

"Baby, you know I love you. The only reason I laughed is because I thought you knew that, beyond doubt," Blaine says softly, holding out his arms and praying silently that Kurt will be placated. It seems to work, as Kurt takes a step closer, and then another, and then drops gratefully back down next to his boyfriend.

"I'm sorry," Kurt whispers, so low that Blaine can barely hear him, "I love you too. But… we've always been honest with each other, right?" Blaine nods beside him, turning his head a little so that Kurt can see him better.

"Of course," Blaine agrees softly, resting his hand once again on Kurt's knee. He feels Kurt stiffen at his touch and then relax, and his heart aches a little bit for the boy next to him.

"Well… why have you started lying to me?" Kurt asks, and for a moment, Blaine is shocked into silence. His mind darts around to the few months that they have been dating, and tries to think of any time he has lied to Kurt. He can't think of one. He told Kurt that time another guy hit on him and he turned him away, he told him when Kurt's scarf didn't quite match his outfit, he told him when he was being an irrational diva. Blaine didn't think they'd ever lied to each other.

"I don't know what you mean," he replies at last, but Kurt just shakes his head sadly.

"Yes, you do. I mean all of this," he gestures a hand between their bodies, and again, Blaine is speechless.

"You mean us dating?" he asks, confusion heavy and sluggish in his brain. He glances at Kurt again, surprised to see that his boyfriend has flushed a deep shade of pink. Normally, Blaine would think it was adorable, but right now he was simply confused and worried.

"No, I mean… you called me beautiful," Kurt says in a rush, as though he is desperate to get the words out, "and at the last Warbler practice, you called me sexy. And when we went to the coffee shop last week, and I wore the bondage jacket again, you said I looked hot. I just… why are you lying to me?" For a moment, Blaine doesn't know what to say. And then his arms are going round Kurt's shoulders and back, and he is pulling Kurt into a tight hug. Kurt squeaks a little at how rough he is before settling into Blaine's arms.

"Kurt," Blaine whispers in a rough undertone, "you listen to me right now. You are sexy, and beautiful and hot, and a million other adjectives besides that. I just wish you could see it." Kurt raises his head a little from where it had been resting on Blaine's shoulder, his eyes a little wet around the edges.

"But… before we started dating, you said I was unsexy…" Kurt murmurs, before Blaine places one hand underneath his chin and tilts his head up lightly. Slowly, as though scared of frightening Kurt off, he places gentle, deliberate kisses on Kurt's forehead, cheeks, ears, nose, chin and finally lips. When he pulls away, he keeps his hand where it was, forcing Kurt to look him in the eye.

"That was then, and this is now. I was an idiot back then, I had no idea what I was doing. I couldn't see what was right in front of my eyes. But I can say, without a doubt, that you're sexy Kurt." His heart breaks a little when Kurt just shakes his head, breaking free of Blaine gaze.

"Kurt," Blaine whispered, reaching out and letting their fingertips brush together, "one day, you are going to realise just how sexy you are. And I'll be there, helping you every step of the way." Kurt's kiss, when it comes, is hard and fast against his mouth, and Blaine lets himself be laid backwards onto the couch. He knows they aren't finished, not by a long shot; but he thinks they might be on their way.