Face Down In The Sea

They don't understand.

No one understands me.

Have you any idea what it's like? To be shoved from place to place like an unwanted parcel? For people to look at you like you're a freak? All I wanted was a fresh start, to be special for once in my life. All I wanted was admiration; for people to like me, to want me to be their friend. All I wanted was control over my life; something I've never had.

I've always liked to get what I want. And he just happens to be in my way. Who does he think he is, with those dark scornful eyes, claiming that I'm powerless, looking at me like I'm something slimy on the ground beneath his feet? Asshole. He's just jealous of me, pining over my stupid brother. So pathetic. I'll show him.

He gave me the idea, after all.

He's so selfish; he wouldn't even let me have a little power! It wouldn't do him any harm. Well. Not much, anyway. I thought that 'sharing was caring' after all.

No one seems to understand that. They're all so uptight, clinging onto their powers and talents and energy. I don't like it when people are better than me. If they can do it, why can't I? They hated that in the home. They all thought they were better than me. I can't help it if they didn't understand me. My parents had just died but they didn't seem to care. I wanted a little sympathy, a little attention. And if they wouldn't give it to me I'd have to earn it. So I started taking. If a girl was showing off about her dancing skills I'd have to show I was better. If a boy got an A+ in math, I'd get a higher mark than him. If a girl sang in a concert, I'd do a better job the next day. I showed them. But they still didn't seem to appreciate me.

'Me Too Cathy'. That's what they called me.

I didn't like that. I really didn't like that.

But then my second Mommy adopted me. So was alright at first, making a fuss of me, putting me first. And then it came round to Sunday. Dressed up, dragged down to church, I was forced to worship 'God', to tell him I'd obey him, submit myself to him. Little Cathy really did not like that. I don't like to obey anyone. I do what I want!

Maybe I should have thought about what I said to her beforehand. Put it more carefully. But either way, I was right! She was a bad mom; moms should love their daughters more than anything in the universe. Including God. Well she went totally psycho, shoving me off down to the priest. That was a very silly thing to do. I can still remember her face when I walked through the front door. I smiled at her.

"Oh Mater, fuisti stultus. Non potes mihi prohibere modo. Dixi tibi malum tu matrem."

That's when she began to scream.

I was sent back to the children's home soon after that. She tried to get me exorcised. Idiot.

I thought a lot about what I said to her. Not the Latin part; what I said to make her freak. I had been too blunt, I realized. I needed to learn tact. I practiced on the other children, slowly learning. So when they took me to England, I was ready.

People like me here. I'm well respected. Admired. Adored, even. He is not taking that away from me. He brought this on himself. If he hadn't threatened to tell then I could have gone on doing this bit by bit, not causing any harm. But no, he couldn't just let it be, could he? So it's his fault, what's going to happen. He's killing them all, not me. Not little Cathy. It's never her fault. It wasn't little Cathy's fault when Mom and Pops died; they drove her too it, just like they drove her car off the road. Oppsie.

I appear to have a bit of a track record where family is concerned. It's not that I don't love Gideon. I do. I'm even quite fond of the dud. But Cathy comes first I'm afraid. And it looks like little Cathy's going to just have to love him to death.

Ironic really that Dax paved the way. But he doesn't matter. The world will be set to rights soon.

You see, I'm not just 'Me Too Cathy.' I am so much more. So. Much. More.

Tomorrow I'll have my power, and the rest of them will be floating face down in the sea.

Thank you very much for reading! I actual think I may start a multichapter fic about Catherine's life in America, but after my exams because they start in a week :O!

Cattherine's Latin roughly translates as; "Oh Mommy, you have been stupid. You can't stop me now. I told you that you were a bad Mom."

And I tried to use American lingo. I probably failed. Ah well. Any Americans reading this, then please, inform me :D.

Sorry it was rather short, though the original was about 350 words, so I've improved it...:S Anyway, I was trying to hold back a little so I have some stuff for the multi-chapter fic :D.

Reviews are really, really welcome! This is my first Shapeshifter fic, but I'm planning a couple more (the one I mentioned earlier and a fluffy oneshot about...ooooh, I won't tell you, you'll have to wait and see XD)

Anyhow, thank you very much for reading!

Love Sapphy

xxx