Author's Note: This is just a humorous story of what I think Hedwig was thinking during the flying car incident during Chamber of Secrets. Reviews are much appreciated and yes it is a very short oneshot.

Disclaimer: I do not own HP and I never have.

Teen Wizards and Flying Cars Don't Mix

Hedwig was sure her boy was going to do something impossibly reckless almost as soon as his friend, the boy Ronald Weasley, brought up the idea of using the flying car they used to help Harry escape the Dursley household to get to Hogwarts.

That had bad idea written all over it.

Hedwig chirped a warning as Harry climbed into the flying car and placed her cage at the back of the car.

Harry glanced at her. "We'll be at Hogwarts soon, girl," he said.

Stupid boy. I was telling you don't go through with this. Damn wizards who can't understand their familiars! Hedwig chirped angrily in reply but Harry paid her no mind as the car rose into the air and began flying toward Scotland.

"Er…you do know how to drive this thing, don't you?" Harry asked his friend

Oh NOW you think of that, you foolish boy! Hedwig exclaimed wishing not for the first time that her boy could hear her so that she could, quite literally, knock some sense into him.

Ron flushed. "Er…not really," he admitted as he struggled to fly the car into the clouds above London.

If you reveal the wizardry world, I'm not going down with you. Oh who am I kidding; of course I'm going down with you. Stupid boy, why can't you listen to reason or common sense for once in your life? Hedwig chirped sullenly knowing full well that her boy wasn't listening to her.

He did that often in her eyes.

And that was a bit annoying but Hedwig got used to it…sort of.

Ron guided the flying car over the island before he began looking for the Hogwarts train as the train tracks were right beneath them. "Where's the train?" he asked as he stupidly landed on the tracks.

You idiot! You aren't supposed to land on the tracks, you dunderhead. Maybe Snape is right to call you both Dunderheads. You sure do act like it, Hedwig chirped angrily but of course they ignored her.

Hedwig sulked before she heard a sound and she twisted her head just in time to see the train bearing down on her from behind. OH DANG IT! BOYS! MOVE IT YOU SLOWPOKES! She screeched her eyes going huge and Harry and Ron either saw the train coming or heard her screeching for they quickly lifted the car into the air and flew away.

Unfortunately, the door opened and Harry quite literally fell out of the car.

You were supposed to have you seat belt on, you idiot! Gee, you really do have a lack of common sense in that thick brain of yours! Hedwig chirped more out of worry than true anger.

Fortunately, Ron stretched out a hand before grabbing Harry's and helping him back into the car where he quickly closed the door. "Thanks," Harry said to Ron.

Ron grinned. "No problem, mate," he replied before he guided the flying car toward Hogwarts in the distances.

Teen wizards and flying cars don't mix, Hedwig chirped quietly as Ron neared Hogwarts but rammed the car into the Weeping Willow causing Hedwig's cage to go tumbling.

I'm dizzy, Hedwig complained blinking her eyes as the willow shook its branches in an attempt to dislodge the car that was stuck in it. The car was sent flying from the willow but landed upright on the lawn.

"Well, at least we made it," Ron said.

If glares given by owls could kill, Ron would be in pieces.

The car stopped driving before the doors opened up and Harry and Ron were tossed out of it before Hedwig went flying out and landed in Harry's arms. She chirped in surprise. Great, kicked out of a car by the car, she thought.

At that moment, the car started up before driving away and disappearing into the Forbidden Forest.

You'd best be lucky I don't peck out your eyes this time, Hedwig hooted angrily at her boy. If you ever take me in a flying car again then I will peck your eyes out.

But, of course, Harry couldn't understand her.

"Come on, we should get inside," Harry said before he and Ron quickly hurried into the school building.

And they were caught by Professor Filch.

"Oh this is not good," Harry muttered.

You think? Hedwig chirped quietly as the three, along with Ron's familiar Scabbers, were led away.

A/n what do you think?

Blaze: I doubt it was that funny but I rather liked what I thought Hedwig would have been thinking during this moment. This is slightly AU because it is based entirely on my memory of the scene in the movie Chamber of Secrets

Darth: I liked it

Blaze: so did I. Reviews are much appreciated and I really do hope that you enjoyed this little slightly AU oneshot, my first HP one by the way.