I was feeling bored so decided to give this type of fanfics a try. Sorry if it's lame.

Disclaimer: The amazing Morganville Vampires series belongs to the even more amazing Rachel Caine.

Have you ever wondered about the top ten ways of annoying Oliver? If you hadn't, then let me have the honor of presenting them to you, my dear readers.

Number 10: Direct the play, "As You Like It" and ask Oliver to play the role of Orlando. (a\n: In case you don't know, Orlando is a lovesick hero.)

Number 9: Set him on a blind date with Monica.

Number 8: Call him and ask casually, "Do you sparkle?"

Number 7: Call him and say, "OMG! Amelie said you are gay!" (Plus point: It'll get Amelie pissed off too! )

Number 6: Tell him to be Eve's bodyguard.

Number 5: Tell him to spend a day with Myrnin in his lab.

Number 4: Ask him very seriously, "Are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?"

Number 3: Write with pink color on the wall of Common Grounds that, "I LOVE BARBIE: Oliver."

Number 2: When he is sleeping, sneak in and set his caller tune for Amelie, Taylor Swift's 'You Belong With Me'.

Number 1: Dare him to kiss (French kiss) Ysandre and take a picture of the kiss, promising to keep it a secret but secretly post the picture online.

Review if you like it. Constructive criticism is a welcomed but not flame.