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Mishaps in Courting
Chapter 4: The Library
-3 points when kicked
-2 points when slapped
-1 point when laughed at mockingly
0 points when girl just walks away
+1 point when smiled at or nicely laughed at
+2 points when girl says, "thank you"
+3 points when winked at
+4 points when kissed on the cheek or hugged
+5 points if girl asks you out
+6 points when kissed on lips
Additional 2 points if full "snog session" begins
Sirius: 30 Remus: 2
"The library," Remus smirked.
Sirius gasped. "No! This is an unfair nerd advantage! I don't want to hit on stuffy girls like Evans."
"Hey! Lily is not stuffy!" James indignantly exclaimed and earned a loud "Shh!" from Madame Pince, the librarian.
Sirius simply ignored James and continued looking at the library in awe. "Why are there so many books?"
Peter stared at Sirius as if he'd grown a second head. "Padfoot… it's a library. Books are kind of the point."
"But the only girls that are going to be in here on a Saturday, and a Hogsmeade day at that, are prudish bookworms with no social lives!" Sirius exclaimed. Sirius had a quick stare down with the glaring Madame Pince, which he promptly lost as soon as it looked like she was going to approach the group.
"Hush up, or Irma will kick us out." Remus whispered.
"Irma? Irma?! You refer to the devil by her first name?" Sirius whisper shouted in return.
Remus rolled his eyes and was about to retort when Peter interrupted, "Shut up you two and go hit on some nerds."
James chuckled when he spotted the first girl nearby, "There you go." He said pointing at a girl huddled over a book in the corner, "A nice Ravenclaw fourth year."
"A bit young for my taste but perfectly your speed, Moony," Sirius challenged.
Remus ignored him and headed over to the secluded corner spot. As he approached, he noticed that the Ravenclaw was immersed in a textbook about advanced spell invention. He cleared his throat when he arrived at the table but to no avail. The blonde continued to read without acknowledging the prefect.
Trying a new strategy, Remus sat down across from her at the table and slid the book from her grasp. His eyes were met with big silvery blue ones and he gave her a nervous grin.
"Hello," the girl greeted, brushing a stray curl out of her face. She looked at him patiently, seeming to wait for him to speak.
Her inquisitive gaze was unwavering and Remus faltered a bit before stammering out his line, "I lost my teddy bear, can I sleep with you?" He silently cursed himself for letting her stare shake his confidence and make him use a different line than he had intended.
However, the girl giggled and smiled at him. She collected her book from his hands and stood. "Perhaps, you should get a stuffed wolf instead. Much manlier." She bent down and gave him a peck on the cheek and ruffled his hair before turning.
He stared open mouthed at her as she walked away. Just as she was almost out of sight, she looked back to him, "Besides, the things we lose always have a way of coming back to us in the end."
Remus was broken out of the trance the Ravenclaw had put on him when James started a slow clap. "Way to completely fail and still get five points!"
"Who was that?" Remus asked, getting up to join his friends.
Sirius and James simply shrugged since they didn't pay too much attention to non-Gryffindor students. But Peter supplied the answer, "Her name's Selena, she sometimes commentates on the Quidditch matches, you know, the serenely calm girl?"
Sirius and James nodded, remembering the girl's frank and honest opinions of the players on the field. Peter continued, "I also heard that she's dating that bloke- the Magical Creatures writer who just got fired from The Daily Prophet for publishing an entire article on Wrackspurts ."
James looked surprised, "Isn't he like five years older than us? She seems a bit young to be dating a 22 year old."
"Girl's got game!" Sirius laughed. He then spotted their next victim move into the bookshelves a few feet away. "Wish me luck!"
He puffed out his chest and dashed around the shelves. He started loudly, "Hello there lo—" before promptly clamping his mouth shut when he saw the woman's face.
"Mr. Black, what in Merlin's name, are you doing in the library?" Professor McGonagall's stern voice scolded. James, Remus, and Peter had found a spot to eavesdrop the next shelf over and fell over in silent laughter when they heard that it was their Transfiguration professor speaking to Sirius.
Sirius quickly recovered from the shock and grinned like a madman. He took a step closer to his Head of House before delivering his line with a wink, "I bet you're a Howler."
McGonagall's lips thinned even further than normal but she barely lost her composure when she turned back to the bookshelf and slid a heavy tomb off of the shelf. She turned back to Sirius, "Detention with Hagrid every Friday night until Christmas, Mr. Black. Now, please excuse yourself from the library."
The rest of the Marauders could barely contain their mirth in the next row over. Especially when Sirius called out to McGonagall as she walked away, "Hey Minnie! Hagrid's not the only giant on campus if you know what I mean."
With that, the rest of the boys exploded in raucous guffaws. McGonagall didn't even turn around. "Make that the rest of the year, Mr. Black. With Filch instead of Hagrid."
She continued to walk away before pausing at the row the other boys were chortling in. "Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, and Mr. Pettigrew you will serve your detentions with me for three weeks every Sunday evening. Now get out of the library."
Sirius came to sit with the others. James complimented, "That was excellent, mate."
"I'm bloody brilliant! Do I get extra points for using two lines, Wormtail?" Sirius asked.
"No." Peter chuckled. "That's not in the rules, but we do need to add detention to the list. I declare minus four points if you receive detention for your chat-up line."
James added, "An additional two points are lost if you get everyone else in trouble as well!"
Peter agreed and added that to his parchment. "So, you had thirty points but this brings you down to twenty-four."
"Codswallop! You cannot make up rules as you go along. Not fair!" Sirius agrued.
Peter smirked, "Yes I can." He then turned and strutted out of the library with Remus and James close behind and Sirius running to catch up.
Soon, they entered the Great Hall where Filch was checking permission slips and examining bags as students left and returned from Hogsmeade. With a quick, "See you on Friday, mate!" from Sirius, they made their way to the gates of Hogwarts.
"Remus, it's your turn!" James clapped his hands together, "And I see some ladies right ahead of—"
The Marauders looked to see what stopped James from finishing his sentence and immediately noticed a head of long red hair in the group of girls he was referring to.
"Nevermind, there Moony ole chap. This one is all me." James smirked.
Sirius and Peter exchanged wary glances and Remus smirked knowingly.
James surged ahead of them.
"Oi! Evans, wait up!"