Man, the things you think of at 1:40 in the morning. So, after re-watching "Penelope", I got to thinking about JJ had to do, killing Battle and what had to have been going through her head afterwards. And since Reid had just dealt with that in season two, I figured he would understand more than other team members. Ignoring the Will and drugs story line. So, without further ado, enjoy. I don't own CM. The title and lyrics comes from the song "Real Life Fairytale" by Plumb. I'm currently obsessed with this song, so I would encourage you to listen as you read this. Please Review.


She stared blankly at the wall, her mind going a thousand miles an hour and for a brief moment, she wondered if this was how Spence felt all the time.

Today she had done what she had only known in theory. She had killed someone. A bullet right between the eyes to save the life of one of her best friends, Penelope Garcia.

She had stood there, in the correct firing position for a moment, not really feeling part of the moment, feeling…detached from everything. Like she had been watching from somewhere else.

She played it off, in front of the team. She told Garcia that she hadn't even blinked, which was true. She hadn't. And maybe that was why she was feeling this way. She knew when she joined the FBI that she might have to take a life, but she was a media liaison, for God's sake. All the shooting and killing belonged to the rest of the member of the team like Morgan and Emily and Hotch and Spence.

Spence.

He knew what it felt like, taking someone's life. He had been the one to shoot and kill Tobias Hankel after he had been kidnapped.

JJ drew her knees closer to her chest and closed her eyes. She felt so out of it, like it was all just a dream.

Her first kill.

She wondered how Morgan and Hotch and Emily felt after they killed their first Unsub. If it was an Unsub. Those three played it so close to the chest, and after what she had learned about Morgan in the past six months, she found herself wondering…

Maybe not Hotch so much. His first kill was probably necessary. After all, he had started in SWAT.

Emily, she had no idea. They didn't talk about what the female agent had done before joining the BAU. She was like Hotch. They were both by-the-book, stoic, calm under pressure, very steady, very cool-headed. The only difference between them was that Emily had a sense of a humor and a wicked one.

Hmm. Maybe, if Hotch wasn't married….

Ok, clearly, she needed to think about something else other than hooking Emily up with their married boss.

JJ opened her eyes when she heard keys in the front door lock before closing them as the door opened and then closed softly.

"Baby?" She called out, already knowing it was him.

"It's me." Came his voice and she smiled softly. Just the genius she needed right now. She heard him toss his keys onto the small table by the door and drop his bag at the base. She waited for him to come to her. She listened as he toed off his shoes and leave them by the chair adjacent from where she was sitting. She wouldn't yell at him tonight.

He gently nudged her knee and she opened up the blanket she was wrapped in, letting him into the warm cocoon. He took the blanket away, sitting down with his back against the arm rest. He pulled her into his arms, her head going to the empty space where his neck and shoulder met, breathing in his familiar scent and humming happily when she felt bare skin.

He tugged the blanket around the front of them and kissed her shoulder. "Hey," Spencer breathed into her ear and she snuggled in closer to him. "Hi." She greeted softly, feeling her mind quiet down for the first time all night. "Thank you for taking your shirt off." She said with a smile. He chuckled into her ear. "Morgan got sauce on my shirt from his orange chicken." "You got chinese without me?" She pouted. "I brought some home." He assured her. "Hmm. You're the best." She cooed.

They were both silent before he confessed quietly, "I felt my whole body go numb when Garcia pulled up the surveillance camera and I saw that you were still in your office. For a moment, I could see him bust in and take you." He whispered, his voice shaky. She pulled his arms tighter around her. "I'm right here, baby." "Yeah, I know." Spencer buried his face in her shoulder and sighed.

She gently rubbed her hand up and down his forearm, comforting him. He raised his head and rested his chin against her temple. She felt the stubble there and decided he needed to forgo shaving more often. "How are you feeling?" He asked her and it was her turn to sigh.

"I don't know." She answered truthfully. "I feel….relieved that he's dead and can't hurt anymore people. Does that make me a terrible person?" She wondered. "No, sweetheart. That makes you human. When I shot Tobias, at first I felt nothing. But then, when he looked at me and thanked me, I felt so sad. He was so happy, thinking he was finally going to be with his mother again." Spencer told her, the only one who could understand how it felt.

"I never want to feel the way I felt tonight." She said, looking down at their hands, fingers laced together. "That's a good thing." He said, kissing her temple and holding her closer. She sometimes wondered how they had gotten here. They had been both through so much together, it just seemed natural to reach this stage in their relationship.

They hadn't told the team, and they probably wouldn't for a while, but she knew that whatever happened, they would make it. She knew their love was strong and she wouldn't give him up. Now when Spence made her feel like this. Like the whole world could collapse around them, but she would be safe in his arms.

She tilted her head to side and met his warm chocolate eyes. She raised a hand and softly caressed his cheek. She smiled when he started to sing softly "You are my light, you are my star. You are my sunshine and my dark. You are the everything I dreamed about."

She sat up more, climbing into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and continued the chorus "You are the guy who stole my heart. I am the girl you're always fighting for. We have a love people dream about."

He rested his forehead against hers and together they sang the last line. "Dream with me, make me believe that this is a real life fairytale."

"You know I love you, JJ. So much." He murmured. "Yeah. I love you, too, Spence. Always."

No matter what had happened tonight, no matter if she had to take another life somewhere down the road, Spence would always be there to catch her when she fell.

And that was awesome.


Oh yeah.