Hey everyone! Ichigo Kousei here! Once again I apologize for the long waiting period between updates. (-_-') I bet you guys are getting tired of hearing that, but I really am trying my best! Okay, enough chit chat here's the newest installment of I'm Not Him. :)

I'm Not Him

Chapter 15: It's Not Him

*Hikaru's P.O.V*

"I'm your brother Kaoru! Kaoru Please!" I screeched into my cell phone desperately, my voice was shrill, hoarse and laced with hopeful panic. I knew at that moment I would see my brother again, I would be able to hold him in my arms. I would never, ever let him go again. "Kaoru, god Kaoru…" I began to break down, tears slid out of my tightly closed eyes, cooling my flushed crimson cheeks. " I love you Kao!" I couldn't hold back, I had been holding those precious words for weeks now. I needed to hear Kaoru say he loved me back. "I love you so much! Y-you have no idea how much I do!" I pressed my phone into my ear vigorously, pressing it harder and harder with each word I spoke ignoring the pain though I knew a bruise would appear there later. I waited for Kaoru's soft voice to whisper 'I love you too, Hika', I clenched the phone with stark white knuckles my eyes shut tight in distressed anticipation.

The only answer was the dial tone.

He was gone.

My dear little brother had slipped away from me…again.

I was so close.

But not close enough.

That's when I decided enough was enough. I couldn't just sit back and wallow in self pity! Kaoru is my baby brother! I had to find him, I could tell he was hurt, or in some kind of pain. Me and Kao share this special connection, y'know like his pain was my pain. I had this unnerving feeling in the pit of my stomach. My Kaoru senses were tingling, if you will.

I can't recall a time where I had acted so fast in my brief existence. In two minutes flat I had dialed for the operator and had the call traced. My ink pen danced across a sheet of notebook paper with renewed drive, hastily jotting down the address. I had never been in that part of Japan before, but I heard many unsettling rumors about it. It was a rough part of the country that high schools boys, especially ones as vulnerable as Kaoru, didn't belong in. I knew I needed to act swiftly if I wanted to get my little brother home in one piece.

I knew I couldn't rush blindly into this rescue either, I needed more information. I thought back to a few months ago, when Hunny-Senpai had called me distraught in the wee hours of the morning. He had told me that Mori had been sexually abusing my little brother. Of course when I question my raven-haired Senpai about this he hurriedly denied it. I had no choice but to believe Hunny now, it was my only lead after all. With shaky fingers picked up my cell phone, and went into my contacts and selected Hunny's number.

"Hello?" Hunny's usually high-pitched, delighted voice was subdued and rather poignant.

"Hi Senpai. Are you feeling all right?" I asked concerned for his well being, it wasn't like honey at all to sound so heartrending.

"Well, everything is just strawberries and cream!" He answered rudely, his voice intertwined with a smidgen of sarcasm.

I was about to call the older boy out on his discourteous behavior, but I had a job to do. Hunny's mood was the least of my problems. "Senpai, do you mind telling everything you know about what Mori-Senpai did to my baby brother? I ne-"

"I can't!" He screamed defensively, cutting me off abruptly mid way through my sentence. "If I tell you you'll get Takashi sent away, he told me so!"

"Hunny, please! Kao is hurting! Don't be selfish!" I tried reasoning with Hunny, he was like a stubborn child who always needed to get their way.

"Me being selfish? Look in a mirror! Your selfish!" Hunny was completely beside himself, wailing in rage.

"How am I being selfish? I just want Kao back home, safe with his friends and family." My voiced quieted to a barely perceptible undertone. "I don't want to be alone Senpai."

"Oh, so you think that I do! What the fuck is your problem?" Hunny growled in frustration. "You think I want to be like you? Your miserable Hika-Chan! I love Takashi, just like you love Kao-Chan! I don't want to lose Takashi! He is the only thing I have!"

"I-I…" I couldn't say anything, how could I? I neglected Hunny's feelings entirely. I had been ready to do whatever I had to do to get my Kao back that I was willing to hurt anyone in the process, I was willing to hurt close friends.

"I've been going through hell to keep Takashi safe! I get beaten every night because of my selfishness! I- I"

"Mori-Senpai has been hitting you?" I objected, outraged by this whole situation. "And yet you still defend him?"

"Takashi isn't the one hurting me! It can't be him! Takashi loves me!" Hunny sniffled before continuing. "The first time he did it was right after he raped Kao-Chan for the first time... I wanted to fight...but-but how could I hurt the one I love? How could I hurt Takashi? When I looked into his eyes they were dark and empty. I started to cry and Takashi came back, Takashi held me in his arms and whispered he was sorry and that he loved me. I never doubted it for a second either."

"Hunny… I"

"Ever since we were small Takashi has been like this... I remember when we were little his eyes would get like that sometimes and he'd do something naughty. They were… they were small things at first… like he'd stomp on a caterpillar, or steal candy from Chika-Chan, and when he got really bad he'd hit me. I n-never thought to tell anyone about Takashi, I never imagined it would ever get this horrible. I was afraid he'd get in trouble and we wouldn't be able to play together anymore." Hunny had stopped crying and he only hiccupped now and then, I continued to be unvoiced as I listened attentively, I was nothing short of perplexed and disturbed. "I knew when Takashi did bad things that he didn't mean them. He couldn't help it, and more often then not he would forget about his outbursts of fume right after they had happened."

"Hunny-Senpai, why didn't you tell us any of this?" I didn't yell anymore as I wasn't angry anymore. I completely understood Hunny's logic. He was protecting the one that he loved, I'm sure I would have done the same thing if I was in Hunny's shoes.

"I was scared, I just couldn't. You understand, don't you Hikaru? I don't want you to hate me!" I could here the pleading tone in Hunny's voice. I couldn't put him through anymore unnecessary hurt, be it physical or mental.

"Yeah. I understand Senpai. I could never hate you."

"I'm so relieved. Hey, Hikaru listen to this. When I was about seven Takashi and I were playing in the sandbox at my favorite park, we were having a lot of fun before his eyes got dark. Then he stole Usa-Chan, and tore his arm clean off. I tried to stop him but he held Usa-Chan over my head and I was shorter than him. That was the first time Takashi hurt me when he wasn't himself. I fell down and began to cry, and right away Takashi came back and realized what he had done. I told him I hated him and I was going to tell my mommy, but just as I was about to run away he grabbed my hand and pulled me to his chest. I felt so safe, and instantly I stopped crying. He told me he was so sorry and he asked me if I knew he would never hurt me. Of course I knew it! So he asked me from that day on whenever he got like that to know it's not him, it's something else controlling him. Something he can't help. I hated to see him suffer because of his problem, it's not fair! Takashi was and still is a good person! I know it because he loves me and I've seen it! Takashi always holds back his emotions, that's why he is always so quiet. He knows if he gets too emotionally involved in everyday life he can lose control more frequently and more violently. It kills me to see him hold back everyday. I just want Takashi to be happy… I just want Takashi to be able to speak his mind freely and feel without being afraid he'll hurt someone. I just want to be happy with the one I love."

I took a breath before I replied. "Hunny, Mori-Senpai is very sick, he needs medical attention. You need to tell me where he took my brother. Kaoru is sick too, the sickness controlling Mori has been hurting him so please…"

"We have to save Takashi too! H-he won't get taken away from me will he? Cause it's not his fault! He can't help it!" Hunny questioned still wary of the situation and my motives. "Takashi is very confused right now, he needs me, don't let them take him away!"

"I'll make sure he won't be put under arrest, we are going to get him help." I assured the boy. I didn't want to press charges, but in all honesty it was up to Kaoru once we found him.

"I'll take you to where Kaoru is. We are going to get Kao-Chan and Takashi bring them back home."

"Where the people who love them are waiting."

I have lots of free time as I am on spring break right now, so my goal is to finish this up and post all the chapters by next week. So, wait for me until then. :3 See you soon!

~Kousei