So.

It's been almost a complete year since I submitted anything, anything at all, as you all may very well know.

This is more of a I'm-sorry-post, as in no way the story made it past anything you see here besides some plot lines and other, later scenes.

The title is literal: this is a complete work in progress, and as such, updates may be few and far between. At any rate, I do hope you enjoy.

As for disclaimers, I own nothing- the characters to Square and Disney, the poem belongs to ee cummings, and anything else mentioned belongs to it's respective properties.

Warnings for mentions of drugs, sex, and violence. Pairings are varied and many, mainly Roxas and Axel.

...

Axel was convinced that he wasn't all that great of a person. Which may be the reason he liked a boy who he was convinced was one of the greatest people in the world, but that's for later in the story.

So, as per old boring regulation, and thus outdated regulation, let us start at the beginning of the story. Because, if anything, Axel was a person who didn't follow the up-to-date order of things. Which might be why he thought he might not be that great of a person. Then again, people who didn't follow the order of things were often great people- Einstein, for example. As it turns out, when Einstein had been a young hyperactive lad (much like he had been, Axel likes to think), his teacher had thought him no more than a dumb little shit. Now, Einstein was a great inventor or whatever he was. A genius, certainly. Not that Axel thought himself a genius, but still. Maybe there was some hope for his future yet.

But anyway. Back to the path of things that wasn't really a path, just a small clearing of bushes that would probably scratch your legs to bloody hell if you were there and this path was, in all actuality, a literal path.

Axel liked a Great Person named Roxas. He got good grades (or so he thought, as he had always seen the boy tucked away in a corner somewhere, studying a book so intently Axel was sure he hated studying. And he was sure the blond's lip should have been chewed through by now, what with all the- chewing on it he did. And Axel only knew this from careful observation while in detention. He had nothing better to do. He was not a creepy stalker), unlike Axel, who had failed grade 11 twice until he had been pity passed by all his teachers.

Roxas was also a very good goalie in soccer. This, actually, had been a bit creep-ish on his part as he had sat on the school roof, watching the boy dive and tumble and kick and just look inarguably hot in his shorts that Axel had smoked through a whole pack of cigarettes by the time they had called it a day.

He also had the social skills of a sleepy and irritated bear, which was Very Important to Axel. The reason that such a weird quirk was Very Important for Axel was that he was Supremely Selfish. And, being Supremely Selfish, he wanted someone who only showed nice, soft sides to him and was a right fucking bitch to everyone else. So, he was sure that Roxas had an inner, softer side that he would show Axel once (and if, really, because as well as being selfish, Axel was a slight pessimist) he got to know and love him. It would be romantic. The stuff stories were made of.

And indeed it was, because as it was, Roxas Did Not Like Axel. Not even a tiny bit. Not even a little chuckle of fond remembrance of a certain event or another when mentioned in conversations with Roxas' friends. He wouldn't even look at Axel in the hallway, which kind of put him out because he thought, if anything, he had been eye-catchingly attractive.

The whole not-noticing and not-liking Axel thing might have (and probably was, if Axel gave any length of thought over it) been from the one time he had actually interacted with the other boy. 'Interacting' meaning 'silently handing Roxas a pop while the other looked at him suspiciously'. Axel had thought it was a good way to start a friendship-which-would-turn-into-an-epic romance at the time. But Axel hadn't taken into account that, on the way down the chute, the pop had been knocked about and shaken and horribly beaten up. As it was, the pop was full of angry fizz, and once Roxas popped the tab it had sprayed everywhere, mostly over Roxas. All over his nice white shirt (what a tragedy, Axel had thought at the time, staring at the skin that had suddenly become visible) and his dark blue jeans.

And Axel admits he probably shouldn't have laughed, but he did. He had tried not too, at least- all that escaped was a little snigger, after all. It had been too funny- movie funny. And everyone else had laughed too so Axel was, at least, justified in his little chortle. But when everyone else had laughed it had turned from ha-ha-oh-shit-my-bad funny to stop-it-you-guys-it's-not-his-fault funny, which wasn't all that funny in the first place because Roxas had turned a horrible shade of red and had stomped out. Axel, aware of his mistake, had tried to run after him to apologize and hopefully console the poor boy, and maybe take off his shirt, but the blond had disappeared. This had depressed Axel, because, really, it had been the thought that counted. But at least Axel could add 'incredible ninja powers' to the reasons he liked Roxas.

But, yes. Roxas Did Not Like Axel, Plain and Simple.

Which, all in all, kind of put a kink in Axel's plans of asking the blond out because, usually, when someone you didn't like even a tiny bit asked you on a date, maybe dinner and a movie (which was horribly boring in Axel's opinion; a perfect first date, for him, would be a round of paintball, some order-out pizza, and a great bout of sex), you were more inclined to say no. Unless you were a horrible person who was just using the person who had asked you out to get free food and tickets, and who was the kind of person who had a spot in hell for getting someone's hopes up so dazzlingly high, but Roxas was not a Horrible Person. So he would most definitely say no.

And, even if he liked Axel a teeny tiny bit, a little teensy-eensy bit, deep down in his heart, and maybe even further down, like in that iceberg thing that explained that one psychology guy's theory on unconscious and wanting to sex up your mother, he'd still say no because Axel wasn't all that Great of a Person.

Which brings us back to our earlier point.

Axel was convinced he was Not That Great of a Person. As a baby, he had colic, which had driven his parents up the wall at various hours of the night and day. When he was able to walk and, consequently, run, he broke as many vases and flushed as many watches as an antique store had in stock, and his mother had finally given up by the time he had started talking. Which had been quite a shock to his grandmother when he had greeted her with a cheerful 'up yours, you wrinkly old bitch!'.

By the time he had been nine, he had been caught stealing eight times and had accidentally set the yard on fire and, with it, his rabbit Sparky. By the time he was thirteen he had been caught smoking up in the school bathroom, which had started a long series of detentions and suspensions he was still serving up to this day. The year his parents broke up also saw him switching schools because of an expulsion, where he had felt entirely justified to kick the feet out from under the principal, and thus breaking his hip, when the old man had threatened to shave his wild, unruly hair.

At seventeen, he had ended up mangling his father's blue 1979 Camero after a night of hardcore binging on substances he can't quite remember. At nineteen, he had finally been promoted to grade 12 after failing grade eleven twice, due to skipping school, atrocious attitude to the teachers, and his less-than-stellar grades.

Now, at nineteen, teachers were rolling their eyes when his name came up (which it most often did, he hoped), and a lot of places in town wouldn't hire him because they had heard from a previous workplace that he always showed up late, if he decided to show up at all.

And it was only now he was cursing his Bad Boy behaviour, because Great People like Roxas never dated Not Great People like Axel. Usually, Great People like Roxas were straight and would marry beautiful little housewives and get a great job and perfect kids (not like Axel) until, at the age of thirty-five, they had their mid-life crisis and had an affair with the Bad Boy from high school.

Really, though, Axel couldn't wait that long, and he wasn't interested in growing that old, anyway.

So, usually, love stories like Axel's and Roxas' often ended before they started. But, as it turns out, Axel and Roxas' Love Story was not that kind of love story. As it was, Axel and Roxas' love story was a different kind- one of the many different kinds, where Axel had a plan to win Roxas' heart, and they could live in infinite peace and love and youthfulness.

This is where you, the reader, are supposed to sigh and shake your head- because, as you may know, but Axel doesn't, is this is the type of love story that will leave poor Axel scratching his head and wondering what the hell had happened.

...

A little random fact that you may or may not have noticed about Axel is that he had a great love for capitals. Capitals, in Axel's mind, always represented something Bigger and Better. Bigger and Better, in Axel's world, was something that he would eventually have in the future. Not in the near future, mind you, as he was focusing on getting to these Bigger and Better things.

As it was, Bigger and Better, to him, was usually associated with Sex and Fame. A little down the road, Sex and Fame was associated with Love and Money.

So, whenever Axel thought of Sex, Fame, Love, or Money, he would assign capitals to the word. For instance, when he was fourteen, he and his friend Demyx formed a garage band named 'The Stupid Idiots' (they weren't creative) and he had thought of it as 'My Musical Career'. Later, it had turned into 'My Short Lived Musical Career'.

Anyway, this has a point. And the point is that Capitals are how he met Roxas.

It had been a bright and sunny day- well, no, it hadn't been, but he believed that a fated meeting like Roxas' and his deserved bright, happy, sunny days- in literature class. They had been in the poetry unit, and were presenting little biographies and pieces of poetry done by selected poets in front of the class. As per his reputation, Axel hadn't done the homework because he had missed too many classes on which they were supposed to work on the project, and God forbid if he was going to do it on his own time.

After a long winded ass-kissing on why Edgar Allen Poe was a Great Man, an emofag had sat down and Roxas had stood up. Axel, even though he'd like to suggest Love at First Sight, hadn't even been paying attention to the blond, and would have probably kept on ignoring him if it hadn't been for the overhead projection.

He had totally ignored Roxas' voice- any other kid had the same voice, the voice that was trying to be confident but failing miserably because high school sucks like that- and had read the faint lettering of the poem presented on the overhead projection. The poem had no capitals, at all. The poem, as Axel later memorized, was called 'i carry your heart with me(i carry it in', and it went like this:

'i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

-ee cummings'

After the blond had given his speech on why the poet was a Great Person, Axel was the first to put his hand up when question period came up- which was such a feat because Axel had made a perfect art out of slouching in his chair and Not Caring- and this had surprised the hell out of the teacher because the man (whose name he still didn't know, despite the irritated phone calls from him to his mother) had picked him to ask his question first.

"Why aren't there any capitals?" He had asked plainly, long limbs sprawled out everywhere. It hasn't been mentioned, but Axel was a very tall and lanky teenager. Which, later, might be another reason Roxas hates him, but we're still on the story of how they met, so.

The blond had blinked at him, slowly, as if processing the question took longer than a second, in which time Axel had licked his lips, contemplated skipping gym after literature, and shifted a little so that his ankles crossed and stretched in front of him, potentially bugging the girl who had to put her own feet in front of her lest they rest near Axel's own.

"Well," Roxas had started, body perfectly still. "ee cummings didn't believe words, alone, were important- it was the meaning they conveyed and the way they were arranged that mattered."

And Axel had actually thought about that for a second or two- a bit longer than he would normally give anything school related, which proved that the kid had actually stumped him. Unable to come up with something witty or even muster up the energy to come up with something appropriate, he had simply snorted and deadpanned "Well, that's fucking stupid."

"Axel! Office!"

Among the giggles and high fives- in some ways, Axel was more mature than his grade eleven and twelve brethren- Axel got up, all grins and smooth happiness, and walked out of the room.

Well, he tried to, because when he met the kid's eyes he positively glared at him- and Axel had always been a sucker for a good glare.

"Well," Roxas started again, finally, drilling holes into his forehead. "Maybe you're too fucking stupid to understand anything."

...

That had been the fated meeting. It really hadn't been that special, except for the fact that it had caused Axel to freeze, the teacher to yell at him, and for him to feel utterly silly and exalted for no reasons he could decipher at the time, all the way to the principal's office, where he had been chewed out by an annoyed, mousey looking man named Mickey Maus. Axel thought someone had been shitting him when they had announced the principal's name on the day he had entered that high school, but it had been, sadly (or awesomely, if you looked at it differently) not a joke.

And the most horrible thing is that Axel didn't even think about Roxas again until he saw the blond boy and had offered him the drink. Which, as pointed out, had gone terribly and horribly wrong and had caused Roxas to have a horrible opinion of him (not unlike most people's opinion on him, actually), and Axel to pick up some slightly creepy and voyeuristic tendencies.

This was all, of course, his fault, just like most things were. His faults were so long and complicated there was no book in the world larger than his 'accomplishments'. No fucking series, never mind.

Axel was a Bad Boy. That was that.

This was about the time he realized that he wasn't That Great of a Person, and that Roxas was That Great of a Person. This was also about the time Axel started coming up with stupid plans to get Roxas to notice him and fall madly in love with him. Or, well. Even if Roxas looked at him that would be ok, but Axel liked to aim for the high ground.

Since food was completely out of the option for Axel's Super Awesome Plan, he wasn't sure of anything else he could do. He would offer to do Roxas' homework if he did his own. He would offer to walk Roxas' home everyday, but he always walked home with his brother and Riku, who was a fucking jerk and deserved to be punched in the face. He would also offer to carry Roxas' books for him but Roxas wasn't a girl, which wasn't a major problem in Axel's books but would be one in Roxas'. Also, Axel wasn't very smart in the first place so he couldn't think of anything else to do.

So he went to Namine, who was a good friend of his and someone he had had sex with twice, to ask for help. They ended up watching romance movies.

Romance movies, Axel soon realized, were very boring and stupid and something he could possibly go his whole life without watching. And as Axel had a very short attention span, but a very desperate need for a plan, he decided to watch the movie but not watch it.

And since he was a man, especially a man that had had sex with Namine before, he starts thinking about Namine. And sex with Namine.

Namine is a Bad Girl. Axel isn't sure why Namine is a Bad Girl, but he thinks it has something to do with the fact that she drops acid and lives alone because she was kicked out of her parent's house. She's never told anyone why she was kicked out of her parent's house, but he thinks it has to do with the fact that she sleeps with girls and drops acid.

She's also very manipulative, which is kind of sad because when she's manipulating you she's so nice and kind about it, like she doesn't want to do it. Plus, she's really very good at it, so you feel like you're doing it because you want too.

She's also an artist, which is in no way a Bad Thing but is pretty cool because she is very good at it.

After their fourth movie, which is about two gay guys and is called Mambo Italiano and isn't very interesting or romantic at all, Axel looks over at Namine, who is randomly drawing on her thigh.

"You should make me a tattoo." Axel says, leaning over and tapping his fingers on her thigh. On it is a tribal heart with tribal wings, and it looks like really cool because it wraps around her leg. Right now she's working on the inside of her thigh, and he traces the lines down there.

She looks up and smiles at him through his lashes. She doesn't look convinced when he sends her the most innocent look he can muster.

"What?" He says, trying to sound confused. It doesn't work because she puts her pen down and grabs his hand; but then she moves it up her thigh more and he grins like the pervert he is and is often accused of being.

"Well, if you insist." He grins.

After they have sex Namine says, "I know Roxas. Kairi's boyfriend is his brother."

Kairi is Namine's twin sister, who is the Good Girl who hasn't been kicked out of her parent's house and still loves her sister passionately, even is she disapproves of the drugs Namine does and the sex she has. She is also dating Sora, who is Roxas' brother.

Axel can't believe he's been this stupid.

"I'm also in the photography club with him." Namine says.

Axel can't believe he's been this stupid.

"You realize now," Axel says, throwing his arm around Namine's shoulders where she is curled up to him, "That you have to put in a good word for me now and hook me up and stuff."

Namine laughs, pokes him in the rib; it hurts because he broke that rib when he was dirt biking and took a wicked awesome jump and bit the dust. His dad and mum weren't very sympathetic, so after he had went to the hospital they had made him do all the chores anyway and it's never quite healed properly. So he rubs it and makes generally unpleasant noises and over exaggerates.

Namine laughs, and leans down to 'kiss it better'- 'kissing it better' involves a lot of tongue and spit and supremely dirty licking. It makes him want to go for a round two.

So he does, and after round two Namine laughs at him.

"I don't think you're supposed to ask the girl you've slept with if she can hook you up with her sister's boyfriend's brother."

"Who says?" Axel asks. He feels like a smoke. He wonders if Namine has any on her.

"I'm pretty sure there's a law."

"Well, I'm pretty unconventional. Do you got any smokes on you?"

...

Okay. It's not like Axel is a Bad Guy. He's a Bad Boy, sure, but in his head a Bad Boy is someone who makes Bad Decisions and does Bad Things. A Bad Guy is someone who is actually Bad to the core. Who makes Bad Decisions and does Bad Things because he wants too. Someone like Saix, who is a guy who Axel hangs around sometimes and has known since he was little.

So, Axel is a Bad Boy because he doesn't do anything to hurt anyone. He does it because it makes him feel good. And if it hurts someone he likes? Yeah, he feels bad. If it hurts someone he doesn't like?… Well, okay, he's a bit of a Bad Guy. But he thinks he has some very good redeeming qualities, like loyalty and… sharingness and whatever, but he can't really think of anything right now because he's hanging out with Namine and they're at the mall and Roxas is right there.

"Roxas!" Namine calls out, and it's possibly a little too soon because he just spotted Roxas and Roxas is right there and his shirt is a little wet around the edges and so is his hair and Axel wants to lick him.

Roxas turns around and smiles, a little quirk of his lips, and shoulders his bag. "Hey Namine."

Namine smiles and chats with him for a second and Axel kind of feels like a totally douche, just standing there all gangly and tall, looking anywhere but at Roxas' face. Including his nails. His index and pointer finger on his right hand are basically the same length, he notices; remembers something about how that's supposed to single him out as gay or whatever. And Axel is not gay. Just sexually free. And gay for Roxas.

Totally gay for Roxas, he thinks, taking a moment to eye the blond's neck where a droplet escapes his hair and slides down the skin. Axel still wants to lick him. Really bad.

"Roxas, this is my friend Axel. Axel, Roxas."

Axel's hands come out of his pockets and before he knows what he's doing he has his hand sticking out in front of him, and Roxas is looking at him weirdly, as if silently asking who shakes hands anymore? He can hear Namine smother a giggle by sniffing. See if he ever gets her a hit of acid ever again.

Nevertheless, Roxas shakes his hand because he's been raised polite, apparently, and Axel takes a second to enjoy the fact that his fingers practically wrap around Roxas' hand, his fingers just brushing the knuckle under his pinkie finger. He also notices Roxas' grip is pretty firm. Firm grip reroutes to good hand job. His brain kind of shuts down.

"Uh, hi." He says, letting go of Roxas' hand. He's really happy he didn't be stupid like in those chick flick movies and hold onto his hand for like, five minutes more than he should have. That'd be embarrassing. "Nice to meet you."

Roxas looks at him oddly but repeats the phrase back at him, and that's when Namine touches his elbow.

"I need to go to the bathroom real quick." She says, with a small, soft smile on her face. Axel thinks he hates her because she's a lying liar that lies. "Wait here for me, ok?"

"Sure," Axel nods, and considers ditching her because Roxas for sure is going to leave, anyway, and. And. The little faker.

But when she leaves to go 'bathroom' Roxas doesn't leave, and is eyeing him up and down like he's weird. And Axel is, but Roxas is looking at him like he's the bad kind of weird. Axel likes to think he's the eccentric kind of weird, like Hunter S. Thompson, Oscar Wilde, or whoever the fuck is famous for being weird. Michael Jackson weird.

Or, well, he takes that back, because Michael Jackson is too weird.

"What?" Axel says, looking kind of offended. And this is soooo not the way to go about winning Roxas' heart. He's sure of it. Unless Roxas likes offensive and weird, in which case he's so totally into it and on that role like peanut butter on pancakes. Which is fucking delicious.

"I'm pretty sure you spilled pop on me before." Roxas states bluntly, and his Roxas-is-Great meter goes up about five notches because he likes blunt people. People who don't go with the whole bullshit ideal and pretend to like someone. Roxas is that person. He is definitely in love.

"That-" Axel shrugs his shoulders, looks down at Roxas' feet. He's wearing worn converse. Like, real worn. Like, original worn. "Are those like, vintage?"

Roxas looks down at his feet. "Yeah. They were my dad's. He lost them right after he bought them and just found them."

"Fucking wicked." Axel nods, then says, "That was an accident, yanno? I didn't think it'd be shaken up and shit."

Roxas shrugs his one shoulder, shifts a little on his feet.

"I mean," Axel said, and chuckles nervously. In his head, he's calling himself a tool, a douche, and an idiot. Also about another million derogatory names that he knows he would never say in front of his mother. Or his father, even. "I was just trying to be nice, yanno?"

Roxas raises an eyebrow, leans back onto his heels. He kind of looks like a model, or American Apparel, or some popular brand name that Axel would never ever ever wear, unless he found it at a Goodwill and never knew about it. The 'Roxas-is-Great' meter goes down one because Roxas can't be perfect, apparently. But he's totally fine with that, for sure. Because Roxas is hot and still totally lickable.

"Who knew a can of pop that goes down a chute to be dropped roughly into an opening would be so shaken up it fizzes enough to explode when opened?" Roxas says dryly, and Axel takes a minute to pause and actually think about what Roxas said in detail. Then realizes there is no way he could possibly be more in love with the kid.

"Do you want to go out?" Axel says, then blanches because c'mon.

This makes Roxas eyebrows raise impossibly high and, for a split second, he looks so surprised and weirded out and adorable that Axel feels like everyone is right about him in that precise moment- that he is fucking insane and a weirdo and a disaster waiting to happen. It shames him for a second before he actually remembers he agrees with them.

"I mean-" Axel says, at the exact same time Roxas says "What?"

"I mean-" Axel starts again, and he darts his eyes towards the old artist guy sitting near the railing, drawing caricatures. He's randomly doodling on a paper and oh my God, no one has hair like that except him. He hopes he gets drawn with roller skates and a crazy grin. Maybe while holding a flame thrower. That'd be totally awesome.

He realizes he's trying to distract himself, like he's wont to do, and turns his eyes back on Roxas. Who is still looking at him all confused. "Like, I mean, not going-out going-out. Well, going out. Like, to a movie or something."

When Roxas continues looking at him like some deranged freak, he adds on, lamely. "As friends."

"Oh!" Roxas says, and than looks decidedly uncomfortable. Axel guesses the boy doesn't get many people that are so open about- well, friendship or whatever- asking him out like that. He doesn't really know what to say to make the boy less awkward.

"Um. I'm- busy." Roxas stutters, and than he looks shifty as fuck as though his lie wasn't easy enough to tell through. Not like Axel specified a time or anything.

This kind of bugs the hell out of him. Simply because, ok, yeah, he's an oddball and shit, but the boy could at least be polite about it. Or more crafty. It'd figure Roxas is a crappy liar.

So, because it bugs the hell out of him and Axel is Axel, through and through, he grins a mean, shit-eating grin at Roxas, which makes the boy shiftier. If possible. Christ, it seems like the boy has a packet of coke shoved up his ass or something, he's that sketchy.

Not the alley to be going up there, Axel, he thinks, because, yeah. Thinking of Roxas' ass? So not part of the plan right now.

"Not like I said now or anything." Axel snarks, trying to distract himself from his distractions. Sometimes he swears he has ADD. Or ADHD. Whichever one made him more vibrant and mean or whatever. "But, ya know. Whatever."

Roxas keeps on looking sketchy as fuck and eyes him like he's unsure of whether Axel will attack him or not. Axel considers it- he really does- but then surmises it would probably end up with him licking Roxas' face and the other boy backing right the fuck off. Axel doesn't want that.

"I'm leaving." Axel announces loudly, out of nowhere even for him. Roxas' eyebrows raise higher.

"What about-"

"She's a lying liar who lies and I'm going to kick her in the face next time I see her." Axel informs him, and then turns on his heel. This is when he realizes he wants to get the fuck out of there. And fast. Meat loaf has nothing on him.

"Uh-"

"Bye!" Axel calls loudly over his shoulder, and distracts himself over being disappointed he couldn't see his awesome caricature and imagining what it would be like, flame thrower and all.

...

That mall meeting being a disaster aside, Axel feels like the day is a success. Mostly because he's smoked a twenty bag with his friend Demyx and they're discussing the merits of sketchy squirrels or shifty ducks.

"I mean-" Demyx is saying, and Axel leans a bit closer to look into his mouth, which is like, this deep fucking pink color that he's only seen on certain lady parts. He wonders how'd Demyx would react if he started calling him vagina-mouth. "Squirrels fucking dart around all the place and when you get close they just fuck right off, quicker than- than-"

Demyx looks disgruntled, as if he can't find the words. Axel laughs in his face.

"Vagina-mouth." He states simply.

"What?" Demyx says back, looking even more disgruntled. It's hilarious, which he says and demonstrates with his laughter. Demyx starts laughing with him because, hey, they're high. Nothing isn't hilarious right now except maybe dying kittens and the possibility of no sex for the rest of their lives.

"Ok! Ok." Demyx says, snickering, eyes bright. "I forgot what the fuck we were talking about. What the fuck were we talking about?"

Axel snickers with him, lightly trailing his fingernails up his arm because it feels cool and kind of like his arm is going to go numb. Axel totally and completely loves being high. And being high with Demyx is fun as hell because the boy doesn't ever feel bad. Or, when he does, he sings his blues out so it just sounds real good and boppy and awesome. Axel could do with some music right now.

"I could do with some music right now." He says, and when he leans forward he actually falls off the couch, which just makes both him and Dem laugh so fucking hard that there's some thumping from the next door neighbours, telling them to quiet down. It's in Morse code and everything.

After ten minutes of laughing their asses off Axel manages to crawl under the coffee table and turn on the record player- a fucking record played, which is totally the most fucking awesome thing on the planet Axel thinks. Record players separate the losers from the real music fanatics. Or the other losers. But, at any rate, Demyx has a record player and it plays records that Demyx has combed through multiple music stores all across the country for.

The first song is this guy basically talking, something about the class of 97' and some shit. It says something about chewing gum and algebra he thinks. At any rate, it's fucking inspirational. It's probably the greatest fucking thing Axel has ever heard. And Demyx must think so too because he's singing along, air guitaring perfectly because, of course, Dem knows the whole fucking song off by heart. For a minute Axel actually thinks he's playing a guitar.

By the time it gets to 'Keep you old love letters, and throw away your own bank statements', Axel's mouth is slack in awe and he feels so happy and fulfilled that he says, "Man. Man, Dem. There's this kid, right? And I'm like, totally. Totally gone for him and shit."

Demyx actually stops his air guitar for a minute, which is a Big Deal when it comes down to it because Demyx is actually a musical genius. Literally, a genius, able to imitate a song perfectly after hearing it twice, at most, depending on the difficulty. Axel likes to fancy that, when (and it's a when, not an if, that's how much Axel believes the other boy is a genius) Demyx becomes a Rock God, Axel will be the one guy that says, 'Hey, I knew him back in the day!' and he'll be able to revel the media with tales of how much of a badass Demyx was back in high school and in the subsequent years before his Fame.

It's at this point that Demyx snaps his fingers in front of Axel's face and Axel realizes that he's spaced out on the blond's future while the blond was presently right there.

"Shit," Axel laughs, and Demyx laughs along with him until he pulls a serious face and looks Axel straight in the eye.

"You in love with this boy, Axel?" Demyx says in all seriousness, and it would make him laugh, how serious the boy is being, except for the fact that he's just that serious. That's a lot of serious, in Axel's opinion.

It takes him a moment to think about it, but only a moment because Axel is a quick thinker and he's high, and the silly blooming feeling in his chest, the one that's like getting a ticket to your favourite concert or getting that dirt bike you've had your eye on for, like, years- that's the feeling in Axel's chest, the giddiness of fulfillment, and it makes him laugh happily.

"Yeah, Dem. I'm so totally gone on him it's ridiculous." Axel starts, leaning back against the couch and rising a hand up, waving it at the ceiling as if it means something. And it totally does- represents the blue sky and the bright sun and all the things up there, things that remind him of that blond kid. "He's just- a Great Person. Man. Even just. I bet if he smiled at me, it'd light up my fucking world, you know?"

Demyx shoots him a silly grin and leans back with him, watches him wave his hand at the ceiling, totally getting his meaning with every wave of his fingers, the way he curves his hand. They just sit like that for awhile, staring and being totally fucking stoned ("Man we're fucked." Demyx comments), and it's good and peaceful, the record playing some beatific Bob Dylan, until Demyx talks.

"You mean that Roxas kid, right? The one Namine was telling me about?"

"Fuck ya I mean Roxas." Axel sighs, the sigh of the deeply in love. "Cutest boy I've ever seen."

Demyx hmm's, then, quite suddenly, "He's in my Psych class ya know."

Axel shoots up at that, which startles Demyx, and for a split second Axel thinks serves you right you fucking prick but that's also kind of totally not his style because Demyx didn't do anything really, just withheld the information of Axel's freaking day. Not really his fault, again, but it's easier to blame Demyx for Axel's stupidity rather than blame himself. Hey, Axel never said that he had a stock in the moral bank.

"You kidding me? You didn't tell me this piece of information? This, this, valuable nugget of golden news?" Axel tries to look as scandalized as possible, which isn't hard. The pot, combined with his flare for the dramatic and stupid, makes it quite easy actually. Axel does quite like being an actor. "I'm hurt! Shocked! Hurt and shocked!"

Demyx just raises an eyebrow at his theatrics, not bothering to put up with what many people call 'his bullshit'. The blond has always been more of the chill kind of stoner, Axel laments, but sometimes he is too, which is alright for the most part. But not he just feels hyperaware, with this little new piece of information about his beloved Roxas. This is when Axel realizes he may have slightly creepy stalker-ish tendencies

"Yaaaaaaa, uh, I didn't know until Namine text me today." Demyx starts, kicking out his leg to get into a more comfortable position. Axel, who has learned to give into his urges when stoned, squeezes just behind the boy's knee cap. In return, he gets a twitch and a slap on the arm. Before any kind of war can start (and Axel is relentless in all forms of war), Demyx says, "She also told me to tell you to tell me the story of your embarrassing idiocy. With Roxas. Today."

At that Axel's excitement withers because, to him, it had been enough of a traumatic experience- looking and acting like he was a spazoid freak in front of Roxas and knowing he did- that he had been resolutely Not Thinking About It all of today. And now he was supposed to tell the story? Really?

"I don't want to talk about it." He groans, flops back onto the couch. Except he misjudges the distance a bit and when he's all settled he finds himself inches away from Demyx face, staring up into the blue eyes of a very amused individual. And an also getting more interested and horny individual, if Axel is reading this right.

Which he does read right, because Demyx says, "Well, let's not talk about it." Then, because the blond has no finesse. "Hey, wanna make out?"

And because Axel is completely like that, and always horny, he says "Ok."

...

The next day at school doesn't exist. Mainly because Axel skips it because he doesn't feel like going, and sleeping on Demyx' couch was just like not sleeping at all. Plus making out with the boy was always a treat, even though, for all intents and purposes, Demyx was straight. Which Axel understood. He really did. Which was why they never had sex and the most he ever got from the other boy was a hand job.

At any rate, yesterday was enough of a success, and Axel feels like making this day a success too. So at 9 am he phones up Xigbar, his boss, and asks if he can pick up a shift or something. Which turns out to be a yes, so an hour later he finds himself at his job site in a wife beater and sweat pants, both of which have more paint stains on them than a sample book.

Axel's job is very typical of someone that doesn't go to school and doesn't really give a shit about his direction in life. Essentially, Axel paints houses. Or large buildings. Hell, he even helped paint a new resort that had opened up just outside Destiny Islands once. Sometimes, he washes windows. Sometimes, he re-shingles a house. Basically, Axel's job involves him hanging from the sides of buildings on harnesses that aren't up to regulation, which Xigbar bitches about daily, and doing the more dangerous and most boring stuff that no one else will ever do. He's basically the outside guy in a large construction firm.

He doesn't mind the job. It pays well and most of the guys that work with him don't give a shit that he's skipping school and doing whatever the fuck he wants. They just want him to get his part of the job done, which he appreciates and is totally fine with. It also helps that they're the most fun group of guys he could hang out with while working, mostly because the lot of them are complete fucking characters. Axel thinks it says a lot about him that he fits in with this rag tag group of men (and one woman).

Of course, sometimes the job sucks. Like when it's over plus fifty in summer and Luxord is taking way too goddamned long to get the water bottles refilled. Or when all that's required is that he clean the windows of a fifty foot tall building. Like today.

Washing windows is probably the least appealing job out of the long list of things that Axel can do when he works. He gets wet, there's soap everywhere, and the fucking harness he usually gets stuck with (like today) can be a bitch to work if he isn't careful.

Which, of course, he isn't. Especially today, because hand jobs just aren't enough anymore and all he can think about is Roxas. Roxas, Roxas, Roxas, with his blond hair and blue eyes and his really rather nice legs and his very lick-able neck, especially when he's wet.

So of course Axel can't help himself. He fantasizes a bit.

Axel's favourite fantasy, involving Roxas and some really... probably-not-going-to-happen things:

"Axel, Axel. Axel." Axel chuckled lightly, pressed his lips against the crease where Roxas' thigh curved into his hips; dragged his teeth lightly over the skin there. This made Roxas arch up into his mouth, made his breath hitch.

"Yes, Rox-as?" He sing-songs; he pushed his fingers deeper in, crooked them and pressed hard and fast and licked at the puckered skin sucking in his fingers. He delighted in the shudder Roxas gave. "Do you like that?"

"Axel." Roxas gasped again, pressed down onto Axel's fingers. "Yes, yes, yes. Please."

Axel laughed again, licked at the hole to make Roxas gasp. "I know you do. You like it hard, huh? Like my fingers in you, filling you up."

Axel pressed the tip of another finger in- the third one- and just pushed it in until it just stretched the outer ring wider; Roxas whimpered, and Axel gave a wicked grin from between his legs. "Beg for it a little more, babe." Axel pushed his fingers deeper, watched Roxas' cock jump against his stomach; licked a hot line down his balls. "Say 'please, Axel, please fuck me hard'."

Roxas looked down at him, mouth puffy red and shiny with spit; he bit his lip again, pulled at his hands which were tied to the headboard.

"C'mon, Roxy." Axel murmured, pressed a sucking kiss to Roxas' hardness. "Beg for it."

Roxas gasped, threw his head back. "Please, Axel. Please. Please, fuck me."

It's at this point that Axel hears his name being yelled and holyfuckingshit he's kind of falling out of his harness. Which isn't really a big deal, what with being safely buckled in, except it really is a bit of a big deal because Axel is an idiot who forgot to safely buckle himself in. He's also about twenty stories up, which would not be very beneficial to his wish to keep on living, or to keep all the bones in his body unbroken. He's pretty sure Roxas would find neither attractive.

"Shit, sorry, fuck, my bad!"

"You fucking idiot!" Xaldin, his unofficial second boss, yells from the ground, shadowing his eyes from the sun so that he can glare up at Axel with the glare of a feral animal. "Do that again and I'm going to dock you, in more ways than one!"

"Ya ya." Axel mutters, but not loud enough for Xaldin to hear because that man is one scary motherfucker. Built like a fucking bear with thick black dreads, Axel is pretty sure no one has ever taken on Xaldin and lived to tell to tale. The man is like his own legend. Luxord will swear up and down that he saw the man carry eight beams of lumber wood without breaking a sweat once.

Before the man can walk away, Axel's stomach growls and he's reminded that, no, he hasn't eaten. Not that he ever does unless reminded, but hey, whatever. "Xaldin!" He screams down, because he's twenty stories up and the man wouldn't be able to hear him otherwise. Mostly because Axel doesn't possess the massive baritone Xaldin does. "When's lunch?"

"Half an hour." Xaldin yells back up at him. Quite effortlessly, Axel realizes with a sulk. "Get to fucking work!"

"Aye aye captain!"

When Axel and his work buddies enter the cheap little fast food restaurant they pick for lunch, they enter laughing hard, rambunctious and stupid, at something Luxord has said- something involving a little redhead and her ability to- well, ok, nothing they can say in polite or even mixed company, but it's pretty fucking funny, especially the comment from Xigbar after.

Xigbar is probably the funniest motherfucker ever, in Axel's humble (and it is humble, thank you very much) opinion. The guy is like a crack head without the crack. And it really helps sometimes that you're scared into laughter because, even if Xiggy is the funniest motherfucker alive, he's also the scariest looking. Bigass scar on his face, eye patch, pointy little teeth like fangs and black hair with gray strands that are all pulled back into a tight ponytail. He kind of looks like a super villain mad scientist or something.

At any rate, it's their laughter that brings attention to all of them, and whose attention does it bring but sweet dear little Namine's attention. Who, he realizes, he still hasn't kicked in the face.

When she waves him over he grins and swaggers like a cowboy, hands hooked into the loops of his dirty jeans, his slightly damp white wife beater clinging to his frame, hair in a messy ponytail. He just needs the cowboy hat, he thinks. Maybe he could borrow Luxord's. That'd be kickass, for sure. He could be a kickass cowboy.

When he reaches the table he grins lazily, eyes zeroing in on Namine because that's when he realizes that Roxas is there and eating and utterly adorable and looking utterly embarrassed to be there. Might be embarrassed because Axel is there and all now, but it's not like he's going to come out and admit his undying love for the blond. Not yet, anyway. Not with all the preppy little shits staring at him like he's something else. A bad something else, for that.

"Namine, baby, sweetheart!" He says loudly, eyes twinkling. She smiles back at him, amused and clearly aware of the fact that he's improbably in love with the blond boy sitting next to her. His grin sharpens a little. "I just realized I haven't told you about that promise I made to myself, the one where I promised I had to kick you in the face."

There's titters around the table; a girl he recognizes as Namine's sister, with her dyed red hair, glares at him and opens her mouth, a round, artificially red 'o'. Axel remembers why he likes the blond sister so much more out of the two.

Before she can shoot her mouth off or make Axel's eyes roll into the back of his head, he interjects, "I'm not threatening you now am I sweetie?" When her mouth snaps closed, eyes burning, he laughs. Maybe at her, maybe at her meekness, but whatever. He prefers people with a backbone and, Axel finds, laughing at them when they're trying to grow one just makes them more determined.

"And, at any rate, me and Nam' here are friends. I'm sure she's told you all about me." He drawls, his grin turning more lazy even though when he looks at Namine his gaze is more of a glare. "And I'm sure she's told you her lying liar ways."

Namine smiles up at him, laughing internally. He can see it in her baby blues, the color of a light blue pencil crayon. This makes him ease up a bit because, yes, ok. He's overreacting but she knows, probably, how he made an idiot of himself after she left to 'go bathroom'. Damn fucking women, he thinks. No wonder I'm more in love with Roxas than any girl I've met.

"So, like," He starts, re-hooking his thumbs into the loopholes of his jeans from where they had apparently abandoned their post. "Can I give you that kick to the face now? I gotta get back to work soon, ya know?"

This time, Namine does outright laugh at him, a little tittering giggle that annoys him a bit because it's kind of fake. Oh well, he thinks. We all have our masks and the friends we put these masks on with. Namine wasn't really that different, though she was more of a 'special unique snowflake' than the cardboard copies around her. Except Roxas. Roxas was also a special unique snowflake.

"How about a kiss instead?" She muses, fingers tapping on her thigh and her face tilted up towards him. Her smile is big and wide and sweet and he pauses to assess it because there is no fucking way she's playing the innocent act, asking for a simple kiss.

When his eyes flick over towards Roxas, though, who is watching the events with a little flush in his cheeks and wide eyes, trying to look like he isn't looking, something clicks into place and his lazy grin turns sharp and devious and calculating because if this isn't an opportunity than he doesn't know what is.

"Aw, baby, I don't wanna put a show on for your friends," And they both don't mention that yes, Axel, in fact, does want to put on a show for her friends. As a matter of fact, Axel's completely sure he was born to put on a show for the human race.

It's also a question, a reassurance because Namine knows what the hell he's going to do. Judging by the laughter in her eyes and the failing-to-be-straight mouth, he knows she knows and that it's an ok, since she doesn't shy away from the words 'a show'. So he puts on his best smile and swoops down, purring.

"But if you insist."

When he kisses her, his hand slides to the back of her head, gently grabbing a handful of hair to tilt her head further up, to make the kiss more comfy; she doesn't flinch or move away, which is good, so than he kisses her.

The kiss is hot and open mouthed and Axel is reminded of having sex with her, sure, but it's not like it makes him horny as fuck. It's just a show. A show for Roxas, more appropriately, but what the fuck ever, it's a kiss. Axel hasn't gotten horny from a kiss for a long time, since he was fourteen.

When it's done- just a few seconds, a brief show and all that- he pulls back and she laughs in his face; he lets go of her hair and laughs back, tapping a finger against her cheekbone.

"I still think I owe you a kick in the face." He says sweetly, standing straight up. He glances at her friends quickly, and is pleased to find their gaping mouths. Riku, who deserves to be punched in the face and has silver hair (honest to god, silver. How in the hell Namine finds these preppy kids with weird styles is beyond him, but, you know. At least they're not his friends. He's friends with enough freaks, thank you) looks particularly gaped mouth and, above all things, angry. He muses silently on what that means, and then thinks to hell with thinking because, whatever. That kid's problem, not his.

Namine's smile is just as sweet as she says "I don't think you can kick the face you just kissed, Axel."

"I can try and set a new record." He says blithely, grinning. "It'll be a new trend. The kiss and kick."

Before Namine can say anything else, retort or something equally smartass, he turns his gaze up to Roxas' face.

Roxas is blushing a fire truck red, of all things, and when he looks at Axel he only gets redder. He's pretty sure he hasn't seen that red on a human being, ever, and Axel has seen a range of colors and emotions on more than enough human faces, some of them sober, most of them not.

And the worst thing- the absolutely worst thing, since Axel is stupid and mean and an asshole- is that he can't leave it alone.

When he leans across the table, smiling sweetly, eyes lowered and all- Axel knows how to do seductive, thank you- Roxas eyes snap up to him and he's derailed briefly on the color, and what kind of blue they are. He can save that thinking for later, though, because-

"If you want a demonstration, Roxas, you can just ask." He purrs.

Roxas actually physically jerks back into his seat, looking as if he stuck his finger in an electric socket- the hair doesn't really help the image, Axel muses- and the wide eyed, mortified look he shoots Axel is so cute and adorable and kind of makes Axel kind of regret doing that to him. But only kind of.

But when Roxas keeps on looking at him with that wide-eyed, mortified look, face still red as fire, Axel suddenly wonders about the whole point of the stupid show he just put on and realizes he didn't even have one.

At that moment, when Axel himself is totally mortified because there was no reason at all to do that and it probably made Roxas, you know, not be attracted to his apparent sleaziness, there's a call from the till and he whips his head around, standing back up.

"Well, food calls and you know how I can't resist food," He blathers because he knows he absolutely can- he's done it for three days before. Namine knows this too because she's done it with him too. And the way she's smiling? He absolutely knows she knows he made an idiot of himself.

"Of course you can't." She says, and the way she sounds sympathetic makes him realize what a little evil conniving bitch she is.

"Bitch." He says absentmindedly, crooked grin and all. And, when he turns around, "And don't think I'm not going to maim you now!"

As he walks away, the sound of her laughter is the thing that makes him want to maim her the worst.