Disclaimer: I own nada but the idea ^_^.
Author's Rant: Thanks guys for your patience. I kinda hit a writer's block with my one-shots because I couldn't figure out how to keep the dark tournament light hearted but you can thank nurdgurl714 for lighting a fire under my ass and getting this next chapter out ^_^.
Warning: Language Mild yaoi mentioning.
Dear Part… 4
Dear Pacifier Breath,
I. AM. GOING. TO. KICK. YOUR. ASS! Do you think it's fucking funny that my inner beast is a goddamn penguin? The little bastard's just sitting on my head like it's the newest fashion! I mean come on, how the hell am I supposed to be a tough damn leader if I have a cute and cuddly bird sitting on my head staring into space with those beany eyes? And to make matters worse the little bugger only knows how to say Poo? Is that some type of heavenly joke, because I'm not laughing.
I can't even get to sleep without hearing Kuwabara laughing it up!
You are so dead once I get done kicking this masked jerk's ass!
Signed Yusuke.
Dear Forgetful Moron,
Two things.
1. I'm so sick and tired of you harping on me about my pacifier. Has it ever occurred to you why I may be sucking on—you know what nevermind. Why explain something to someone who can barely remember how to spell his own name.
2. Um by the way…why in the world is Kuwabara in your room?
Signed Koenma.
Dear Extra Appendage,
Do you mind explaining what the hell that eye sore is growing on top of your head? I've seen your ningen females carry those around in their arms….So are you practicing to one day lose the (small) appendage in your pants for the little blue thing with eyes?
Signed Hiei.
P.S. I'd say go for the furry creature. You're more likely to attract more mates then with that small thing in your pants.
Dear Hiei,
Hiei…How in the world would you know about Yusuke's size? Is there something I need to know?
Signed Kurama.
P.S. My rose whip is more than willing to understand what you're not telling me.
Dear Urameshi,
Umm we have a match in like twenty minutes. So by the time you read this letter me, Hiei and Kurama will be heading out to the ring for the fight with Team Uraotogi. Can you like, I don't know, kick the masked midget's ass later so we can get this over with?
I'm starved.
Signed Kuwabara.
Dear Dead Man,
Whatever reasons you may think are reasonable enough to leave me with the care of that ignorant oaf, I can tell you right now I'm not amused. BE SURE to have your sorry carcass in the ring for the next match otherwise we're going to have some serious betrayal problems in the near future.
Signed Hiei.
Dear Lost Boy,
I'm sure whatever conversation you're having with the masked fighter can't be near as important as the approaching match. I leave this letter here in hopes of it encouraging you to arrive to our fight on time. Make sure to conceal any foreign scents from your body, because I KNOW you're in the forest doing more than a simple chit chat. I doubt Kuwabara would appreciate you handling some unnecessary business with our fifth team mate.
Signed Kurama.
Dear Rejected Leader,
Why the hell is it taking you so long to either kill, talk or whatever it is you're doing with that unknown warrior? I've just finished fighting TWO, count that, TWO of these ridiculous bunch of clowns without breaking a sweat. One of which was barely clad in any clothing. But don't worry I spared my eyes of that bit of torture within two minutes. (Perhaps that's stretching a bit since I did get my shoulder injured by the freak who transformed from a foul smelling ape to a werewolf with fangs the size of my head.) Do you have any idea how complicated it is to have my sword redone every time it's broken? No you don't and do you know why? Because you're too busy making small talk with a human half my size.
What a damn waste. Two matches, no fearless leader and one stupid baboon who keeps prancing about saying he's our new leader.
Signed Hiei.
P.S. I humiliated myself by resulting to the use of a rather distasteful attack normally abused by your ugly friend. I swear I'm going to kill you when you come back.
P.S.S. Don't be surprised if that orange haired idiot is dead when you come back. He cheated me in that so called Rock/Paper/Scissors game and I don't take kindly to cheaters.
Dear Misplaced Leader,
Yusuke…I will say that my battle wasn't nearly as complicated as Hiei's but your presence is rather needed consider the intimidating stance we're supposed to up hold. I didn't exactly look so appealing because I was forced to inhale a mystical fog that caused me to—
)0(0)0(
Dear No Longer Needed Human,
Your presence is no longer needed here little human for I, Yoko Kurama have finally been released from my inner captivity. My battle with the weak pest was mere child's play. The rest of these pathetic vermin shall be destroyed by yours truly while you continue to pity patter about with your miserable need to go in the forest and fuc—
)0(0)0(
Dear Yusuke,
Please excuse that sudden change of my letter Yusuke. I haven't a clue as to how or why my personality changed like that.
Signed Yoko Kurama *scratch out Yoko*
Signed the Real Kurama.
Dear Fox Thing,
From now on you ARE NOT allowed to come near my kitten EVER again. How long have you been that freaky silver fox thingie? Were you planning on eating my cat? You sick twisted pervert! No wonder you're always making those sex jokes. That fox man looks like a sex craved maniac.
Signed Kuwabara.
Dear Whichever One of You Writes Back,
So…who should I be expecting to sneak into my bedroom tonight? Red or Silver?
Signed Hiei.
P.S. I'm curious as to which one of your crazed personalities will be tasting the slickness of my blade.
Dear Dark Heart,
^_^ Expect yours truly to be assaulting your lovely body later this evening.
Signed Kurama.
)0(0)0(
Dear Baby Dragon,
Be well prepared for me later tonight…and be warned…I'm no human size.
Signed Yoko.
P.S. Oh yesssss...I'll gladly taste your lovely slickness.
Dear Sore Ass,
Make sure to use Vasaline… Yoko says that he enjoys his asses slick.
Signed Kuwaraba.
P.S. By the way I don't care who you let screw you, but make sure you can walk by the next match.
Dear Perverted Nitwits,
...You fools are disgusting...
Signed Genkai.
TBC: Sorry about not adding in Suzuka's and Shishiwakamaru's match. I was never really into those fights. So how was this one guys? ^_^ I hope you could laugh at this one as well as the others.