A lustrous room in a prestigious hospital is where he stays in. His condition was hectic. He had been sleepless for three days upon guarding her. He couldn't consider whether his situation now is hard or not; he just made a tough decision recently but, he need to stay firm… For her…
He thinks tomorrow is unpredictable. He doesn't know whether they'll still be together when the tomorrow comes.
I'm sorry, Kahoko… Is what he had been saying in his mind since he had made that decision. He held her hand tightly; it was rather colder than his. A warm teardrop that fell on her hand was the one that woke her up.
"Len…?" he immediately wiped his tears, smiling at her. His other hand reached for her forehead, massaging it gently.
"Len… Why are you crying…?"
His hand stopped from moving. What shall he answer?
"It's nothing, Kahoko. Uh, how are you feeling? Do you need something? I'll call the nurse—"
She weakly grabbed the hem of his shirt. "No, please… Just stay with me…" She struggled to say. She's right. This time is where they both need each other; so he went back to his seat.
He just stared at her; memorizing her figures on her head. Why is he doing this? He brought his hand to her face, caressing it gently as ever.
"When the operation gets done, I want you to stay healthy, okay? Live for me, Kahoko." A tear fell again from that eye of his.
She held his hand on her pale yet smiling face. "Of course, I will…"
Silence engulfed them for awhile, until Kahoko decides to break it.
"Anoo, Len…"
"What is it?"
"Um… Have you found a donor already?"
He stiffened, throat suddenly run dry. He looked straight in her eyes and all he can see was an undying hope.
"Yes…" he answered and her smile went wider.
"That's good then."
Apparently, good isn't the right word to use right now. But if it is for her sake, then it is better. He knew it is the best choice to make.
"Yes." He smiled all he could.
"When I get well and get discharged out of this hospital, I want to… Walk down that path again with you while holding hands. Play 'Ave Maria' with you again and most importantly… Stand in front of the altar… with you." All she felt was happiness and glee as she imagined doing those things while he was suffering.
How can he still grant all of those when his end is nigh? His heart was aching unusually. He wanted to cry as he imagined the last thing she said; the thing that he wanted to do the most. Why?
He can't hold it anymore. Tears rushed down uncontrollably. He suddenly snuggled into her, crying like a lost child on her shoulder. All the things she asked for, he wanted to do it right now.
"Len? Len, why are you crying? Len?" she panicked.
"Please… Please, just let me cry…" he sobbed. She conceded with him as she patted his back to console him.
He continued to cry. Whatever his decision was, the outcome will still be the same; he can never be with her anymore.
He began to realize what he was doing and immediately pulled away.
"Kaho, gomen…" he wiped those tears away with his hand, leaving red and puffy eyes.
"It's all right. Why did you cry anyway?"
He looked away to avoid her gaze, and his sight landed on his violin. It just gave him an idea to escape from her question.
"Ah, Kahoko. Do you want me to play 'Ave Maria' for you?" he asked happily.
She nodded in response. "Yes, Len. I would like to hear you play."
For the last time… He added on his mind.
He stood up ad got his violin, positioning himself to play.
Please consider this as my last gift…
He began playing and it was extremely different from his normal. It was melodramatic. They were both cherishing this moment that he knew will never ever come. His last pull of the bow on the strings, wavered as the music ended in a fade away motion.
Kahoko clapped her hands weakly. "Sugoi nee, Len."
He went back to his seat and set aside his violin.
"You'll be the one to own my heart forever, Kahoko…"
"I'll treasure it… I mean your love for me not your actual heart." She chuckled but she just stepped on a land mine she is not aware of.
Kare no kokoro. [His heart]
His hand slowly crawled to her, intertwining them tightly. Slowly, he was leaning closer to her face and their lips touched in a passionate kiss.
Last… He hated this word.
Once they pulled away, they embraced each other in a tight hug. They both felt the door opened but never want to let go of each other.
Is it time already? It's too soon…he complained in his mind.
The nurse was the one who entered, accosting them.
"Sir, we need to start the operation now."
He gulped. He wanted to request right now to at least give him another day to spend in with her but…
"Finally. I'm so excited." She stated happily.
"Alright…" he agreed with a sigh, smiling after wards. If you only knew…
Several male nurses went in to get her. He tightened the hug before slowly letting go of her.
"I love you, Kahoko… I love you so much." He whispered to her ear.
"I love you, too." She whispered back, and that's all he wanted to hear.
And also… I'm sorry…he thought, watching her as she was taken away.
He lowered his head, fists clenched on his lap, letting the hot teardrops to fall.
At last, the operation was done. She came back to her vivid self, feeling complete with the new heart she gained.
"Where is Len?" was her first words after the operation. She looked at where Len placed his violin and it was still there, which means, he is still in this hospital.
She waited patiently for him, readying her tight hug as soon as she sees him. She hummed 'Ave Maria' as she waited, glancing on Len's previous seat. And there; rested a white letter. She immediately grabbed it yet hesitated to open it, heart thumping loud.
Slowly, her hand unfolded the letter.
It says;
To my beloved Kahoko,
Congratulations with the successful operation! I'm sorry… Please don't get mad at me. I want you to be happy. Thank you for the shared memories and for living as I wished, although, I cannot do the same anymore. And the thing you've asked for, I'm really sorry… I cannot fulfil it. But always remember, my heart is forever yours. Please take care of it. If you get hurt, of course… I will be hurt as well. So, don't. I MEAN IT. DON'T BE SAD. Take care always. Don't forget me and I know you wouldn't because you officially own my heart now. I love you! Goodbye, Kahoko…
Tears rushed down, hands were shaking, crumpling the paper. She pressed it tightly on her chest where the heart resides, crying his name repeatedly.
She cried and cried, hugging herself with the heart and letter.
"LEN…!" she was stomping her legs and feet on the bed, shoving everything her hands came contract with. She felt stupid for realizing just now what his tears meant, why he suddenly played 'Ave Maria' for her.
The cold wind that passed through inside her room out of the window, calmed her.
She stood up and followed it, approaching the window.
"Len?" she looked up at the dark clear sky.
"Goodbye, Len…" She sobbed, forcing herself to smile.
Since that night on, she stopped crying for him. She stayed firm like what he wishes her to be, because even though he physically left her, she knew he was living inside of her.
A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! I want to know your feedback about this story xD