AN: The second part of this three-shot. The actual ways to annoy Rose Weasley. Enjoy :)
How To Annoy Rose Weasley
By: Victoire Weasley, Dominique Weasley, Molly Weasley, James Potter, Fred Weasley, Albus Potter, Scorpius Malfoy, Roxanne Weasley, Lucy Weasley, Louis Weasley, Hugo Weasley and Lily Potter.
Ideas, tested and all successful, from all the authors of this book.
1) Levitate her into the boy's dorm room.
2) Levitate her into Scorpius Malfoy's bed.
3) Have one of her cousins (Albus) find her there.
4) Send her fake love notes signed S.M.
5) Send her fake love notes signed J.S.P. (Note: Rose, James, Uncle Ron and Uncle Harry did not find this as funny as Dominique did, and James advises against it. Yeah, if you to keep your ba – That's enough James.)
6) Inform her the library is closed for an indefinite period of time.
7) Hide spiders in/near her food.
8) Hide spiders in/under her bed.
9) Hide spiders anywhere within a five mile radius of Rose.
10) Tell her that her gingerbread men look like victims of a Wronski Feint gone wrong.
11) Tell her that if you tilt your head just so, she looks like disfigured mongoose. With a wonky nose.
12) Keep going on about her supposed wonky nose.
13) Insist that she's 'just another ginger nut in a family of nutty gingers'.
14) Or 'just another sunburnt red squirrel in a collection of squirrelly red sunburns.' (Note: Dominique, Molly, Fred and Lily also took offense to this as well as Rose. So, kill five birds with one stone! Shut up, James.)
15) Ask her if she likes Scorpius Malfoy because blondes have more fun than redheads.
16) Ask her what kinds of fun blondes have.
17) Ask her if she has fun playing Monopoly.
18) Ask her if Scorpius Malfoy has fun playing Monopoly.
19) Accuse her of stealing money from the Monopoly bank when nobody is looking.
20) Ask her if redheads have less fun than blondes because redheads get sunburnt all the time.
21) Insist that the Sorting Hat made a mistake, and she should have been sorted into Slytherin.
22) Or Loonypuff.
23) Prank her in the middle of October and say, 'April Fool's!'
24) When she tells you it isn't April, tell her she must be an even bigger fool than everybody else.
25) When she and Scorpius are arguing, ask her when the wedding is.
26) If she eats a lot of biscuits in one go, tell her you understand her cravings and ask when the baby's due.
27) Ask her if she wants it to have blonde hair or red hair.
28) Tell her you hope it has blonde hair, for the baby's sake.
29) Charm her prefect's badge to say 'Poncy Sunburnt Squirrel'.
30) Ask her why she is rejecting her inner squirrel.
31) Tell her she really needs to get something to treat that sunburn.
32) Recolour her tie green and silver.
33) Recolour her tie purple and hot pink, insisting that they are the Loonypuff colours.
34) Buy her a squirrel outfit for her birthday.
35) Ask her what she has against squirrels.
36) Buy her a brown rug for her tree home.
37) Hide her homework.
38) Make it blatantly obvious you are copying off her.
39) Dye her hair blonde when she's sleeping and say, in delight, that she matches Scorpius.
40) When you're in Diagon Alley, tell her that you won't be long, but you've just got to go and help Scorpius pick out an engagement ring. (Note: Rose took this very seriously, and so, it appeared, did Uncle Ron and Mr Malfoy.)(Second note: Yeah, and she wouldn't talk to me for weeks – Nobody cares about you, blondie. I'm blonde! That's why you don't matter, Louis. I'm blonde! You're a girl, Victoire. And? Girls don't matter. … James is currently unconscious and cannot comment anymore. Carry on, Vic.)
41) Follow her around everywhere. Say that you are her shadow.
42) Or her guardian angel, sworn to protect her for all eternity. (Note: This backfired on James, when Rose casually informed him that if he was going to be her guardian angel, she was going to haunt him after she was dead. For all eternity. James was horrified by this thought and ran shrieking from the room. Like a little girl! Shut up, Lily. Oh, you're awake! I didn't know. Of course you didn't.)
43) Send her a Valentine's Day card from Scorpius.
44) Send her a stack of Valentine's Day cards from Scorpius that spill over the table and sing when they open.
45) Follow her around wearing a T-shirt that says, 'I'm With A Squirrel!'
46) Encourage random people walking past to feed her nuts.
47) Go around collecting money for the 'Sunburnt Squirrel Charity', with a picture of her face on the collection box.
48) Tell her she's basically useless because she's the smartest student Hogwarts has, and yet she's in Gryffindor.
49) Spread rumours that she hates Ravenclaws.
50) Send her a Howler of 'Scorpius' proclaiming his love for her. (Can we stop all these ones about Rose and me? No, it's fun, ferret. Shut it. I thought you were indifferent to the whole Rose and Scorpius thing, Luce? Well, it'll be funny to see Uncle Ron's reactions to it. If he ever makes it out the house, that is. … Wait, what 'whole Rose and Scorpius thing'?)
51) Moan loudly about how annoying house elves are whenever she's around.
52) Borrow her Hogwarts: A History book, and don't give it back for weeks.
53) When you finally give it back, make sure you're not around when she opens it and finds all the pages have been scribbled on with crayon, and covered in pictures of squirrels, drawings worthy of a very artistic and creative three-year-old. (Note: Just look at James' most recent works of art to get an idea of the style. … Oi! Louis! … James stop throwing a tantrum.)
54) Wake up in the middle of the night screaming, "NO, DON'T EAT ME! HAVE MERCY, YOU GREAT EVIL SQUIRREL! AAAARGGGHHH!', look at Rose, smile, and say, "Oh, hello, Rose, you were in my dream. Goodnight."
55) Continue this every night for the next week.
56) Tape a sign onto her back saying, 'Kiss me, I'm ginger!'
57) Charm her prefect's badge to say, 'Ginger Nutcase'.
58) Follow her around telling her that she is crazy, you love her, but she is crazy.
59) Chaperone her everywhere and clear the crowds for her, all the while shouting at the top your voice, "SUICIDAL SQUIRREL COMING THROUGH! MAKE WAY FOR THE GINGER NUTCASE UNLESS YOU WANT TO CATCH SUNBURN!"
60) Steal her wand and replace it with a fake wand.
61) Laugh when every time she tries to cast a spell, the wand turns into a rubber chicken.
62) Buy her a T-shirt that says, 'I'm Malfoy's Gurl For Life'.
63) Be mortally offended and not speak to her for weeks when she refuses to wear it.
64) Warn her that Scorpius is on his way to propose to her.
65) Voice constant innuendoes about 'wands' and 'brooms'.
66) Ask her how big Scorpius' wand is.
67) Laugh when she goes to ask him. (That is entirely personal! Mind out the gutter, mate. …!)
68) Tell her that Lily is more of a redhead than she'll ever be.
69) Draw up divorce papers for her and Scorpius, and state how much you'll be charging for this.
70) When she asks what you mean, laugh and say, as if it's completely obvious, "Well, we all know you're not going to last long together! You'll probably end up blowing up the house!"
71) Start a betting pool on how long it'll take for her and Scorpius to get together.
72) Ask her if ferrets are her type.
73) Call her a mini Hermione Granger.
74) Pour nuts into her cereal bowl and fill up her goblet with sun cream.
75) Walk up to her, say, "Oh, there you are, Rose! I have something really important to tell you!" and then walk away.
Happy Christmas!
Grandma
Grandad
Mum
Dad
Uncle Bill
Aunt Fleur
Uncle Charlie
Uncle Percy
Aunt Audrey
Uncle George
Aunt Angelina
Uncle Ron
Aunt Hermione
Uncle Harry
Aunt Ginny
And you too, Rose!
please review :)