Disclaimer: It should be blatantly obvious by now that I don't own Victorious. Sigh, I'm going to go sit in the corner and cry emo tears of blood now. Oh, but before I do that, I'd also like to say all the pick up line's used are from a website. CORNER TIME.

"Hey babe."

"Vega.. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"We're dating, and you still call me by my last name?"

"It's like my nick name for you."

"Whatever you say, West. What's in the book?"

"It's got some pick up lines in it, and I'm going to try them out on you."

"Really?"

"Really. Be honest with your answers. I can't believe that losers actually use these to get some."

"Okay, shoot."

"You don't have to sound so enthusiastic."

"Just start before I change my mind."

"Okay. Do I know you from somewhere? Because I don't recognize you with your clothes on."

"Oh yes, because I look soo different with my clothes on. Next?"

"If I pet you, would you follow me home?"

"Depends where."

"Tori!"

"What? You told me to be honest."

"Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them."

"Lame. Besides, I don't think my clothes are your style."

"True. I'd marry your cat just to get in the family."

".. That's just weird. I'm glad I don't have a cat."

"If you were a booger I'd pick you first."

"Dude."

"What?"

"That's disgusting."

"My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to."

"You hate being tickled."

"They call me 'coffee', I grind so fine."

"Trust you to find a pick up line that involves coffee, Jadelyn."

"Pfft. Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus."

"You know how I said the booger one was disgusting? I've changed my mind, it's nothing compared to that one."

"Don't be such a baby."

"What? My back door is exit only."

"But the joke was "disgusting", right.. Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?"

"Aren't I always happy to see you?"

"Now is no time for your sexual annuedo, Tori."

"You're the one that wanted to try out the pick up lines, Jade."

"Whatever. Are you menstruating? If so, I know how to insert tampons."

"Aw, you'd help me with my period? That's so.. Creepy."

"Baby. Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers."

"Use them on a Turkey."

"Oh my god, I can't believe you just said that."

"What?"

"That was like, one of the lamest jokes. Ever."

"Pshc, whatever West. Next one?"

"Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position."

"What one exactly?"

".. You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu."

"Pervy."

"I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle."

"I wasn't aware you had that equipment, Jade. Where have you been hiding it?"

"Your humour does not amuse me at this current point in time."

"It rarely does."

"Hey there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex?"

"Uhhh.."

"68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!"

"We've never tried that before."

"It's tacky."

"So you don't want to try it?"

"I never said that."

"Ha."

"Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on."

"I'm glad I have such an effect on you."

"Is it hot in here or is it just you?"

"Don't you mean out here? We're outside."

"I read the joke how it was."

"You could've changed it to fit the-"

"ANYWAY. Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!"

"Oh my god. Lame."

"I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it."

".. Did you just call me stupid?"

"Girl, if I were a fly I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!"

"Seriously? That's landed someone a girl?"

"Apparently."

"I question her judgement."

"Your dad must have been retarded, 'cause you are special."

"That offends me."

"Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it."

"Finally, somebody agrees with me."

"Cocky much, Vega?"

"It's called a joke. Like all of these pick up lines have been."

"This one's no better.. If you were a laser gun, you'd be set on stunning."

"Seriously? That's.. Not really creative."

"I think about you when I masturbate."

"Why masturbate when we can have sex?"

"Quit trying to seduce me at school."

"Says the one trying out the pick up lines."

"Tu shae. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK."

"That's classy."

"I lost my virginity. Can I have yours?"

"You already took it, my dear."

"Your name must be Mickey because you're so fine."

"So fine I blow your mind?"

"Cute. Is that a keg in your pants? Because I'd love to tap that ass."

"Ooohlala."

"You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I'll do it your way."

"You've never wanted to do it my way before."

"Because my way's better."

"Well!"

"Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!"

"You've 'slammed' me againt a door, does that count?"

"You are a 9.9999. You'd be a perfect 10 if you were with me."

"I must be a perfect ten then, because I am with you. God knows why."

"Now it's my turn to be offended."

"Be offended all you want. You know you love me."

"I do. God knows why."

".. Are you mocking me?"

"Of course not. Would I ever do that? Anyway, this is the last one."

"Halle-fucking-lujah."

"My lips are skittles, wanna taste the rainbow?"

"Well I do love skittles.."

A/N: All mistakes are my own, I wrote this just now and it's 5,54am, so I can't be bothered editing. Sorry. This is so lame. I don't even know what it is, haha. I've noticed other people have written oneshots about people trying out pick up lines, so I figured, hell, why not join the club? Only with Jade trying them out on her already-girlfriend. Just for fun. You see what they do in their spare time? It's not all hard core sex, you know.

Anyway, enough ramble. Review if you dare. Yeah, that's right. You've been challenged. If you don't review, I guess you're just a wimp *shrugs*