Ouran confessions part 2

Chocolatecheesecake23164 said I should do more of these and mention the zuka club and Tamaki and Kyouya's dads, so I thought why not?

I also added some other ppl I thought of that might be fun to write about.

I realized that this and my first ouran confessions may offend some people. I'm not racist, sexist nor am I a homophobe or anything like that, I just wrote all this for fun and it is not to be taken too seriously. Thx.

I also have nothing against any characters (ones in this or in the first version).

Warnings: mentions of homosexuality, incest, rape, sex, assasins, suicide, foursomes, brothels, twilight, drugs, the zuka club and prostitutes (although there's not much difference between those last two (lol kidding, I actually don't mind the zuka club too much - they're just another thing which makes ouran awesome)).

I'll stop rambling now.

Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything D:

Kasanoda (also known as bossanova or Casanova)

1. My father isn't the head of a yakuza group, he runs a highly successful ballet theatre company in America.

2. He's just a good actor and dresses as a yakuza a lot.

3. My mother was the ex-yakuza member.

4. I wanna be a ninja.

5. I don't go to the host club because I love Haruhi - I go because I can perve on the other hosts.

5. I am in love with Kyouya Ootori.

6. I read his notebook once.

7. He wants to be Edward Cullen.

8. I wanna be his Bella swan.

9. He loves the Hitachiin twins though...

10. Maybe we could have a foursome?

Benio amazuka (zuka club - Benibara-sama - 'lady of the rose')

1. The zuka club is really a lesbian cult which doubles as an organization of assassins who only kill men.

2. Especially pimps .

3. Like the host club.

4. I actually hate acting and singing, I'm much better at poetry.

5. I have a crush on Haruhi.

6. She's a sexy bitch.

7. And a slut.

8. Which is a bonus.

9. I often make Zuka club girls have sex with me.

10. And then I quote poetry at them.

Chizuru maihara (zuka club - One with long brown hair - 'lady of the lily')

1. I am actually a spy who works for an undercover organization trying to eliminate the zuka club.

2. I think I'm the only member of the zuka club who isn't a lesbian.

3. I'm secretly obsessed with the host club.

4. Especially Mori.

5. And Tamaki.

6. Honey is a sexy man bitch.

7. And Kyouya looks good in black.

8. Did I mention that I'm also not a real high school student?

9. I'm also 30.

10. Does that make me a pervert?

Hinako Tsuwabuki (zuka club - younger one - 'lady of the daisy')

1. I think that Benio has a crush on Haruhi.

2. She keeps trying to get her to join our club.

3. I am insanely jealous of Haruhi, she gets to hang out with sexy boys all the time.

4. Benio makes me have sex with her sometimes.

5. I was forced to join the zuka club on a dare.

6. And I can't get out.

7. Even though when we had to swear we wouldn't leave I crossed my fingers.

8. I'm a spoilt bitch.

9. Daddy pays for everything I want.

10. And my boyfriends pay for everything else.

Ranka (Ryoji) Fujioka

1. Haruhi's mother actually committed suicide - she couldn't stand me.

2. I have a drinking problem.

3. I am also super fat.

4. I just hide it with corsets and super tight fitting clothes.

5. I raped Fuyumi Ootori.

6. Kyouya is my son and he's Haruhis stepbrother.

7. And I'm pretty sure that they've had sex.

8. I'm in love with Kyouya even though he's my son.

9. Haruhi's a slut.

10. Just like her daddy.

Kotoko Fujioka

1. My husband thinks I committed suicide because I couldn't stand his idiocy.

2. I really just killed some random prostitute who looked similar to me (hot, big boobs and a sexy ass) and left her in our apartment with my 'suicide' note.

3. He was the one who was stupid enough to believe it.

4. I really ran away from home to join a brothel.

5. I get cheap drugs.

6. And plenty of sex.

7. I used to be a lawyer.

8. I lost every case.

9. Usually because I was drunk for the trials.

10. I used to be a zuka club member.

Yuzuru Suoh (Tamaki's dad)

1. I am a pervert.

2. I think my son takes after me.

3. I think my mother is a lesbian.

4. And she has a crush on Tamaki's mum.

5. My son is an idiot.

6. And I'm not saying that in a nice fond fatherly way.

7. He's an asshole.

8. I often dance naked around my office in stilettos.

9. That one maid would never tell...

10. I am in love with Yoshi Ootori.

Shizue Suoh (Tamaki's grandma)

1. I only don't let my son see Tamaki's mother because I'm in love with her.

2. And I can't be found out.

3. I find commoner items intriguing.

4. Like sex toys.

5. And cheap drugs.

6. I like prostitutes too.

7. Mostly because I used to be one.

8. I love hip hop and rap music - wazzup ma homies?

9. I have had a boob job.

10. Twice - the first ones weren't big enough.

Yoshio Ootori (Kyouya's dad)

1. I'm pretty sure that Yuzuru Suoh is in love with me.

2. Not that I mind.

3. Kyouya thinks that I'm grumpy because I don't get sex anymore.

4. And he's not wrong.

5. I always dance to the music in my head.

6. I love Harry Potter and my dream is to open a theme park.

7. It would seem weird though.

8. And so I'm going to settle for a Twilight one.

9. Maybe I'll give it to Kyouya for his birthday.

10. My company actually makes sex toys; we have nothing to do with hospitals.

Mei

1. I only tell Haruhi I like Tamaki so I can hang out with her.

2. I am really a nice person.

3. Who likes rainbows.

4. and candy.

5. and plushies.

6. I sell my body for money since my father is poor.

7. He keeps giving people free rooms in his pension.

8. I also like kittens.

9. and doggies.

10. and lambs.

Misuzu

1. I give people free rooms in my pension if they promise not to tell the police that I'm a druggie.

2. I only dress as a woman because it makes people less suspicious of my drug smuggling.

3. I'm actually a mega millionaire with a huge penthouse suite and a Mercedes.

4. Although I seem to love my daughter, I don't, she's a bitch.

5. But it looks good to the police that I have a daughter who I 'love'.

6. I'm secretly in love with Ranka.

7. I know that his wife didn't commit suicide; she joined one of my brothels.

8. And I give her cheap drugs.

9. I have a crush on Haruhi.

10. Hopefully, she turns out like her mum.

Oh lol I just thought I should have done an emo Honey-sempai in the original ones lol. Anyway hopefully you liked it :)

Please review and please no flames - I've never had one before and I don't want to start now. Besides, if you didn't like it - why did you read enough to get to the bottom of the page to press review anyway?

Anyway

Bye!

TRA.