Title: Selfish
Characters: Peter/Olivia, Walter
Rating: K+
Summary: "This is no time to be thinking about normal things." Post-"6:02 AM EST."
Spoilers: None.
Disclaimer: I do not pretend to own Fringe.
Olivia is in and out of the hospital for two days, stopping by whenever there is a chance, whenever she can take a pause from her wild goose chase with Sam.
She holds Peter's hand and wishes there was something more she could do. She would eat LSD-laced sugar cubes and pull him out of his own mind if she could. Everyone assures her that all she can do now is wait, but it's breaking her heart.
She places her hand on his cheek and holds back tears. Just yesterday, she laid her hand in this exact same spot—just because she could. She'd woken up feeling renewed and hopeful, and, looking at the familiar photo of Peter as a young boy, she had allowed herself for the first time to imagine that she could have a son who looked like that boy. Turning back to face the boy who became the man she loves, she ran her fingers through his perfect head of hair, picturing their future together.
Today, though, a bandage covers his temple, deep bruising peeking out from underneath, and this is no time to be thinking about normal things.
Walter enters the room, looking so much older than he did yesterday. He takes the seat on the other side of Peter's bed, and for several minutes, the three of them are quiet.
Walter sees the exhaustion and the fear on Olivia's face. Peter and Olivia been together for several weeks now, and Walter has been enjoying watching the two of them grow closer. He'd admit, however, that he's always thought about how good the situation has been for Peter. How happy Peter is. How good she is for Peter. How happy she makes Peter.
It is only now, watching this woman holding his son's hand, that he realizes how happy Peter has been making Olivia. And how heartsick he is making her now.
"Olivia—" he starts, although he has no idea what he should say.
She seems surprised by even his presence; it's not that she'd forgotten Walter was there, but being so focused on Peter, she hadn't really been planning on having a conversation.
"Any luck?"
She just shakes her head sadly and looks back down at Peter.
"It's all my fault," Walter says. "I'm so sorry."
Now, she looks up at Walter, a surprised look on her face. "I'm not."
He is confused and shocked, sure that they must be talking about two separate things. "But—the vortex, everything—"
"Maybe it was selfish. But … if you're selfish, then I'm selfish, too. If you hadn't done what you did, neither one of us would have Peter." She rubs her thumb against the back of Peter's hand. "I need him to wake up, too, Walter. I need him, too."
"He will wake up," Walter says. On a whisper, "He has to wake up."
"No matter what, it's not going to stop happening. This is only the beginning." Olivia can't see anything but darkness ahead now. She wonders if there will ever be a time for normal things, for waking up together, for little boys with thick brown hair. For telling him she loves him.
She hangs her head at her own stupidity—how badly had she wanted to say it yesterday when they said goodbye? And how silly had she been for postponing it … in hopes of a better, more private moment?
Walter knows he could just let them sit here and feel sorry for themselves, but he feels much worse for Olivia than he does for himself at this moment, and he wants to make her feel better.
"Olivia, this isn't it."
"Hmm?" she asks, looking up at him.
"The end will come, but this isn't it. Peter will wake up, and we will fix this. And you will be happy again."
They're not the best words of encouragement she's ever heard, but right now, she'll take them. She kisses Peter's hands and whispers "I love you" into his palm. She stands and tells Walter, "I hope you're right." And then she's leaving, heading off with Sam again to stop the blight. She feels lost without a partner, but hopeful now that she will get him back.
Walter stays, keeping watch over Peter's bedside. "Please wake up, son. She needs you."