Dave slammed every door on the way from his car to his room, threw himself onto his bed and buried his head in his hands.

He hadn't been able to concentrate all day, and even got called out in calculus when his teacher found him just doodling after doing five of the dozen practice questions on the chain rule. The worst thing was he knew he deserved it. His grades had been slipping these past few months, and he couldn't afford it. He had to stand out on his college and scholarship applications; they were his only shot at getting out of this place, and AP courses were a big part of that.

It didn't help that Alex hadn't done too well at high school and now Mom and Dad were piling the pressure on him to do better. It seemed like three times a week they had a talk about how his grades were important for his future, he had to work harder and live up to his potential, and all the other boring-as-crap stuff that parents said when they were worried about how their son was doing at school. Having a reversed expulsion on his record didn't help either.

Thoroughly despondent, he mentally charted out how he would probably spend the rest of the evening.

Someone would probably say something during dinner. Maybe Mom would start tonight. "Dave, your father and I are worried about you," she'd say.

Dad would back her up. "You do know that what you do now will have a big impact on where you end up in two years' time?" he'd ask, as if Dave didn't already know from the thousand other identical conversations they'd had.

Alex would watch solemnly and the nagging, sorry, conversation would go on until Dave snapped and stormed off to his room with his plate while the three of them beamed disappointment at his retreating back. And later Alex might swing by his room, supposedly to see how Dave was but really because he wanted to lecture him too on how he wished he'd worked harder, and if anything was up at school Dave knew he could talk to him, right?

And Dave would say yes, he knew, and Alex would nod and leave him be, and he would be left alone thinking there was no way he was ever going to tell his brother that he was far more interested in Sam's butt than any girl's boobs, and by the way he'd kissed the school fag and was making jerk-off videos for him, did that mean that maybe he was a bit gay?

That twisted his stomach. The thought of Alex finding out scared him more than his parents knowing. Not that he thought he would get beaten up or anything. Alex might have a few inches on him in… well, most directions, and maybe he'd been a bit wild at high school, but he was pretty calm nowadays and hadn't raised a finger to Dave since they were both kids.

No, Dave was scared Alex would be disappointed in him. Maybe even a little freaked out. That he'd stop talking to him, or hanging out with him when he had a day off, or feel uncomfortable giving him a squeeze on the shoulder or even a quick hug when Dave looked like he needed it. He'd rather just get beaten up than lose all that.

He groaned loudly, pressing his face against the pillow when it threatened to become a sob.

He was such a screw-up. Sure, he was on two sports teams, and one of them was on its way up; but his chances of academic success were vanishing before his eyes, he had a secret to carry around the size of Ohio and the highlight of his sad, non-existent sex life was letting people watch him get off so at least he knew that someone out there didn't think he was a complete troll.

That reminded him… Maybe he had some new comments on his videos. Those always cheered him up. He got up and turned on his computer, absently tapping out a beat on the desk while stuff loaded. When he finally logged on to his account he wasn't disappointed; four new comments had been posted since last night.

"your butt is perfect, i want to bury my face in it!" one guy raved, warming his cheeks and his heart. Despite everything that had happened today, he felt a lot better knowing that someone—someone gay, like Fancy!—actually liked his ass and didn't think it was too hairy, or pale, or fat, or whatever. Maybe Kurt would like it too when he saw the video.

A tap came at the door, dragging him abruptly from his reverie.

"Dave, mind if I come in?" Alex's voice called from the other side.

Dave's breath caught in his throat and he had his monitor off in a flash. "Sure," he called once the screen went black.

Alex came in and thumped down on the bed, which groaned under his weight. His eyes flickered from Dave to the unlit screen, then the desk itself, under which his computer was still whirring away conspicuously. He seemed lost in thought for a second before he spoke up.

"How are you doing?" he asked. "You seemed a little worked up when you came in."

Dave did his best to ignore his sudden irrational fear that Alex knew exactly what he had just been doing. He just heard me slam a couple of doors, that's all. "I'm fine, just stuff at school," he offered.

Alex nodded. "Is it to do with that girl you asked out?" he asked.

Well, shoot. Dave forgot to consider that unlike his other friends, Alex actually gave a crap about him and would follow up on stuff he said, even if it was all baloney. Time to get creative, he thought, mentally cracking his knuckles.

"I suppose," he said, shooting for noncommittal. "She asked if we could put our date back a couple of days, is all." That seemed pretty close to what actually went down, at least in terms of the imaginary world he was constructing for Alex's benefit, so he didn't feel too guilty. Besides, he was already lying to everyone else he knew, why not add his brother to the list?

OK, maybe he felt a little guilty, but this really wasn't the right time to start entertaining his conscience.

"That doesn't sound so bad," said Alex. "Sure, you have to wait, but it's not like she blew you off or something. Maybe she already has plans?"

"Yeah… It's just it sort-of throws you off, you know? Like, you start asking yourself what she's doing that's more important, or whether she's not really all that into you."

Alex made a dismissive noise. "Don't think like that. For one thing, at least she told you, and for another she still wants to see you, right?"

"Sure," Dave agreed. Kurt did agree to take a look at the video on Tuesday, and he wouldn't have done that if he thought Dave was a complete monster. Right?

Still… Thinking back, Kurt didn't seem all that keen to see it after all. On reflection, it had really been more like him just telling Kurt to watch the video than Kurt actually agreeing to. Dave frowned, and when Alex raised an eyebrow he decided to work that into the story so he at least had something halfway truthful to say.

"Actually, she didn't seem all that upset about it. I had to convince her to reschedule, in the end."

Alex looked thoughtful. "Hmm, I see. That's not so good. Still, maybe she's just playing hard-to-get? Not a good sign, but still…"

Dave thought back. Kurt mostly just seemed scared. Crazy scared, actually. Still, he did say he'd liked the first video, and he'd definitely caught him checking out his ass… Dave screwed up his face, his head was starting to hurt from keeping track of everything.

"I don't know, bro'. It's kinda hard to judge, she's not easy to read. You know how it is with girls."

His brother grinned knowingly, and Dave felt the tension in his chest unwind a little. "Yeah, I know. But you gotta try, Dave. If she's not all that into you, she's going to keep doing things like this until you end up breaking up. I know it's not something you want to think about right now, but you need to remember that this is just a first date, and you'll probably have many more first dates with even more amazing people."

Unsure how to respond, Dave stayed silent. Alex stood up from the bed and leaned over him, placing a hand on Dave's shoulder.

"I gotta get back to work," he said, "but I want you to know that I'm always here for you if you need me. And…" He hesitated for a second, eyes darting back to the computer. When he spoke again, his voice was disarmingly soft. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I promise not to judge or be mad."

Screw what he said about not feeling guilty. Dave could feel it swirling around inside him now, along with the crushing realization of how completely undeserving he was of such a great brother when every other word that came out of his mouth was bullshit. Not trusting himself to speak, he nodded, eyes downcast.

Alex stood over him for a few seconds, as though waiting for Dave to say something, but Dave kept his lips clamped shut. Sighing gently, Alex gave him a final squeeze before he headed for the door.

For the second time that day, Dave fought back tears. God, he really was becoming a total fag.

Kurt knew he was out of his depth, and it was well past time to call in some assistance. Half way through fourth period, he pulled out his phone and texted Blaine.

"Please can we meet up? I really need to talk to someone!"

The answer came during lunch.

"Sure, no problem! Haven't seen you for a while, would be good to catch up. What do you need to talk about?"

"Can't say over the phone. Meet in the Lima Bean at five?"

"See you then! x"

Kurt ignored the tiny flutter in his chest at that little "x". He also did his best to ignore his mental comparison of Karofsky's big, broad chest with Blaine's far thinner one, which he hadn't seen yet but would probably be softer and less hairy, less… Exciting. Goddammit, stop thinking!

He jumped when Rachel nudged him, and turned to find himself facing a severe glare. "Kurt, have you even been listening for the past five minutes?"

"No, I was looking out for the fashion police. I don't want them to think I'm an accomplice when they come to confiscate that sweater," he brushed her off, mouth moving almost on autopilot. Rachel's eyes went wide, and sensing a blow-up he summarily excused himself from the Glee table, throwing his half-eaten lunch in the trash. A few murmurs of confusion reached him over Rachel's indignation, which he ignored uncomfortably.

Four hours later, Blaine found Kurt at their usual table nursing a non-fat mocha and staring into space. He silently took his place at the seat opposite, watching as Kurt's gaze refocused and his expression shifted into a welcoming smile.

"Blaine, thanks so much for coming!" Noticing that Blaine already held a cup, he added apologetically, "I'd have got your coffee, but I wasn't sure what you normally get."

"It's nothing, really. How are you doing?" asked Blaine. His posture was open, his expression genuinely interested.

Kurt shrugged. "Fine for the most part. Went shopping over the weekend with Tina and Mercedes, got a couple of things I'm pretty sure Dad won't let me wear in public. In all, a relatively successful outing."

"Ha, can't wait to see you in them," said Blaine, grinning. Kurt felt himself blushing inwardly. "Anything else? You seemed pretty worked up about something earlier, and I'm guessing it's not about a trip to the mall…"

"You got me! Okay, there is something else. I'm… in a bit of a situation. Mind scooting a bit closer so I can talk more quietly?"

"Sure," said Blaine, pulling his chair in a little and leaning forwards while Kurt did the same. "What's up?"

"First, you have to promise this goes no further than you and me." Blaine rolled his eyes a little. "Promise," Kurt insisted.

"Kurt, I promise I won't blab your secrets to the whole of Lima," said Blaine. He looked a tad amused, but that would have to do.

"Right. So, as I was saying, I might have got myself into a pickle with Karofsky."

Blaine's eyes narrowed at the name. "Karofsky? Has he been bothering you again?"

"No, not at all," said Kurt, holding his hands up reassuringly. "Well, not in the way you might think. It's just… Blaine, have you ever been on YouTube?"

Blaine snorted. "Um… Kurt, I know that Dalton looks like something from the dark ages, but we do have the Internet in our dorms."

"Sorry, of course you've seen YouTube. Well, you know how people post videos of themselves there?"

Blaine nodded.

Kurt's voice went very quiet. "Well, you know how there are other sites where people post… more… um, compromising videos of themselves?"

Blaine started nodding, then his mouth dropped open a little bit. "You… Did you…?"

"No!" cried Kurt, a little louder than he meant to. He looked to both sides before continuing. "No, not me, I haven't… I wouldn't… Not me, I'm talking about Karofsky…" Feeling flustered, Kurt looked away. Maybe this was a bad idea.

"Wait a second," Blaine requested, and Kurt closed his mouth obediently. "Are you saying that Karofsky posted a video of himself on one of these sites? And you've seen it?"

Risking a glance, Kurt saw Blaine staring at him a little incredulously. Kurt couldn't blame him; if he hadn't seen it, he wouldn't believe it either. "Yes," he answered quietly.

"Are you sure it's him? I mean, maybe it's just someone who looks like him?"

"It's not just someone who looks like him. I– I spoke to him about it. He admitted it."

If Kurt thought Blaine looked disbelieving before, that was nothing to his expression now, his mouth hanging open as if he'd just been hit by a slushy facial. Presently he pulled himself together a little and continued. "You spoke to him about it? I mean, you saw him… What was he doing?"

Kurt's cheeks were burning. He leaned further forwards, motioning for Blaine to do the same. He felt painfully aware of how obviously secretive they looked. Pitching his voice to be barely audible over the conversations around him, he choked out a single word. "Masturbating."

Blaine, to his credit, managed not to look any more shocked than he already did. He slowly took a sip of his coffee, as though hoping the drink would help things to make sense. Finally, he nodded a little. "Okay. So you saw a video of Karofsky… masturbating… on the Internet. And then you went and told him about it."

Instead of replying, Kurt just ducked his head a little more.

"How did you find the video?"

Kurt's eyes flicked up in a flash. "I didn't go out looking for him, if that's what you're asking!" he snapped, a little too defensively.

"Kurt, I'm not judging you. I just want to get the facts straight. Did he send you the link or something, or did you find it on your own?"

"I found it on my own, I guess. By accident." Glaring a little at Blaine's raised eyebrows, he added, "I'm sure you can guess how, unless you really expect me to believe you lead such a pure and unblemished life that you've never used the Internet for inspiration."

"Whoa, Kurt… Seriously, I'm not judging. Okay?" Blaine held his hands up placatingly. "I'm just trying to establish the series of events here before I jump to any conclusions."

I'm being irrational, thought Kurt. Blaine is here to help, of course he's going to ask questions. I need to calm down. He looked off to the side and took a deep breath, then reached for his drink. He took a few slow sips, gradually nudging himself into a somewhat less fraught frame of mind.

Finally, feeling ready to talk again without risking emotional whiplash, he looked back up at Blaine.

"A few nights ago I was looking for something to… Get off to." Kurt noted appreciatively that Blaine didn't bat an eyelid at the admission. "I went to a place where people post videos of themselves, well, doing stuff, and while I was on there I stumbled across Karofsky's video."

Blaine nodded slowly, his face betraying nothing. "Okay. So what happened next?"

Kurt's mouth felt dry, and he took another sip of his coffee before continuing. "I, um, watched the video. I was just curious, though! It's not like I wanted to get off to him or anything."

Blaine raised an eyebrow.

Kurt sighed. "Fine, so maybe I did end up enjoying it just a little. But I didn't mean to when I started watching it. I mean, I started watching before I saw it was Karofsky, but once I realized…" He made a helpless expression, and Blaine took pity and made some vaguely encouraging noises.

"So, the next day, I was at school and I saw him in class. I didn't know what to do, but I kept looking at him, and he must have noticed because he called me on it when we got into the hallway. One thing led to another, and I ended up saying something angry about him making videos of himself."

"Wow, seriously?" Apparently there were limits to even Blaine's composure, though he caught himself quickly. "Sorry, ignore that. I'm just… Keep on going, Kurt."

"Right. So I told him, and he dragged me off to a classroom. He seemed scared, more than anything. He didn't even get angry. I left as soon as I could, but later that day he followed me to my car and asked me… Well, if I'd liked it. And I said I did. Like it."

Blaine pursed his lips and looked away for a second, but quickly looked back. "Go on," he encouraged, quietly. "What happened next?"

Ignoring the burning sensation in his cheeks, Kurt continued. "Well, I went home, that was all he wanted to know. But for the next few days he was weird. Just, off, I guess? If I didn't know better I'd have thought he was trying to flirt with me or something. Anyway, over the weekend I found out that he'd made another video, and it was obvious he'd made it for me. He…"

Kurt trailed off, looking around before continuing even more quietly. "He did stuff, really sexy stuff. And on Monday he pulled me aside into the locker room at break to ask what I thought of it. I got scared and told him I hadn't seen it, and he asked me to watch it and get back to him on Wednesday."

For a few moments there was just silence. Blaine looked lost in thought, and Kurt had basically reached the end of his story. Finally, Blaine spoke.

"What did you think of it?"

Kurt didn't speak for a few moments. What did he think of it? On the one hand, it was really creepy that someone was essentially making sex tapes for him. But at the same time… it felt incredibly flattering. And God, okay, it was damn sexy too. At the time his heart had been pounding so fast he thought he might pass out.

Now he just had to explain that to Blaine without sounding like a total pervert.

"I suppose I liked it. It's flattering that he went to the effort. But it's still wrong! He shouldn't be doing this, it isn't healthy!" And before Blaine could answer, he added, "Besides, I don't even like him. Why would I want to consider him in any way sexually attractive?"

"You know," said Blaine, with a pensive air, "there's no rule that says you're only attracted to people who are nice to you, or that you can't be physically attracted to someone you hate. Not that I'm saying you are attracted to him," he disclaimed quickly, "but anyway."

Kurt sighed. "Blaine, I get that, really. What I don't get is what on earth I'm going to say to him on Wednesday. I don't like him doing this, it isn't healthy and it's not safe."

"Well, maybe you need to tell him that. Tell him that no matter how much you enjoy his videos, it doesn't make them a good idea. I mean, why do you think he's making them?"

Because you tore his self-esteem to shreds, the rational part of his brain supplied. "I think maybe he's uncomfortable with himself," he said.

"Then let's run with that," Blaine suggests. "So he's putting videos of him doing things to his body on the Internet. He's trying to feel more comfortable with himself by seeking reinforcement from others. Maybe, in a way, this video was a cry for help?"

"What do you mean, a cry for help?" asked Kurt, frowning.

"I mean that, in all likelihood, you're the only other gay person he knows. Who else is he going to turn to if he feels that no one can relate to him?" Kurt shook his head, not understanding, so Blaine continued. "Do you think that maybe he made this video as a way of just getting you to talk to him? You said he was on the hockey team. It must be hard for him, being gay in such a homophobic environment."

Kurt felt a horrible emptiness as the implication sunk in. Karofsky was getting naked and doing this stuff to please him, because he thought it would be worth it if it meant having someone he could talk to about what he was going through. He was whoring himself out for Kurt's attention. God.

"Kurt," said Blaine, leaning forward and touching his hand, making him start a little. "I think you should consider that you are possibly the only person Dave has to turn to for advice or support. Or at least, he thinks you are."

Kurt simply nodded, not sure what to say.

"I think you should consider talking to him. Maybe meet him in a neutral place. I'll come along, if you want me to, but he might prefer just talking to you."

"And then what?" Kurt asked, genuinely unsure. "What exactly am I meant to do for him?"

"Same thing I do for you," Blaine replied solemnly. "Just be there. Give him someone to talk to, someone who understands some of what he's going through. You have me, but Karofsky… Karofsky doesn't have anyone."

And just like that, Kurt knew that he didn't have a choice any more.

Author's note [and TRIGGER WARNING, real life death ahead]: A lot of people have been wondering if I've abandoned this story. To them, and to everyone else who has been waiting for an update or wondering where the heck I've been, I sincerely apologise. Around the time I published my last update, my boyfriend went into hospital, and three days later he passed away from a cardiac arrest. Writing this, and many other things about Glee, became very painful for me. If you want to know more, search for "Beyond the Kurtofsky/Klaine 'ship wars" (with quotes) in Google and you'll find my blog post about it.

But seriously, it has been over seven months now, and even if things are still not where they were, I'm a lot better. So just enjoy the story, please, because there is more to come, and I will finish it! This isn't the best chapter and I nearly scrapped it and started over, but given the long wait since the last chapter I decided people would appreciate Kurt's little summary to Blaine.

Thank you, everyone, for waiting patiently all this time.