Title: Silence
Author: TartanLioness
Summary: sequel to "Fate"
Nearly four months have passed since the horrible day Sam lost Foyle's friendship. At least that's the way she thinks of that day, when it creeps into her mind unbidden. She has stayed in Hastings but has successfully avoided seeing him. It has been surprisingly easy the last three weeks or so. Before that, she often saw him in the shops or on the street and she had to hurry away. It was undignified but she couldn't help it. Now, she hasn't seen him for ages and she's somewhat glad of it.
She is walking down the streets with her bag of groceries in one hand, the bag occasionally bumping into her leg. She's walking in her own thoughts – they are not miserable at the moment; for now she is occupied with what dinner shall be – when a voice calls out to her, startling her back into the real world. She looks up to find Milner crossing the street. It would seem that he has been waiting by her front door for her, and she is excited to see him again.
"Paul!" she exclaims happily and he takes her groceries from her. He always was a gentleman, she muses, remembering how he would always help her with her coat when she was leaving the station at night. "How are you?" she asks as she lets them both into her small house.
He looks somewhat depressed and she worries about him. Then he says, "I'm sorry, Sam, I have bad news. Mr Foyle, he… he passed away a few days ago."
For a long moment, everything crumbles for Sam and despite all the time she has tried to avoid him, she knows in that moment that she still loves Foyle.
"W-what?" she stutters. "What happened? Was he attacked by a crook?"
Milner looks at her funny for a second, then it seems like realisation dawns upon him.
"He didn't tell you," he says and it is not a question. Sam's eyes must have spoken her question 'tell me what?' because Milner says, "It was cancer."
"Cancer?" Sam repeats quietly, something dead in her voice. "How long…"
"He told me two months ago when he couldn't hide it anymore. He found out six months ago or so. I don't think even Andrew knew until just recently. He spent the last month in bed. There was nothing to do."
"But…" Everything comes back to Sam, every detail from the day she has tried her best to forget, and she remembers the look of sadness in his eyes and the softness of his voice as he rejected her. He knew. He already knew. He knew he didn't have much time left. Why didn't he tell me? Why didn't he give me the chance to stand by him and help him?
Milner can see that something is wrong. "Sam?" he asks. "Are you all right?"
Sam shakes her head but he's not sure she has even heard his question. Her insides are screaming in pain, wishing that she hadn't told him of her feelings so she could at least have had his last few months with him – as a friend. Suddenly, it doesn't seem to matter in what way he is a part of her life as long as he is there. She doesn't care if he's her lover or her friend or even just her boss, because all she needs is for him to be in her life and now he isn't. And the last time she saw him, she hated him.
"Sam, they… they found this in his office and I said I'd give it to you," Milner says, bringing Sam out of her miserable thoughts. He's holding a letter and she can see her name on it, and she recognises Foyle's neat handwriting despite the fact that it is shaky and broken. She takes it from him numbly and opens it. The missive is short and written in the same shaky version of Foyle's hand, and she realises the willpower it must have cost him to write this with his illness tearing at his strength.
I love you too, Sam. I'm sorry I had to hurt you.
Your
Christopher
Despite not knowing what's in the letter, Milner expects to see tears come to Sam's eyes, but none do. She just folds the paper and puts it in her pocket.
"When is the funeral?" she asks, her voice hoarse.
"The day after tomorrow," Milner replies.
It's a beautiful day despite the wind that's tearing through the trees, making them sing. It sounds like a requiem Sam thinks and she finds it appropriate. There are many people at the grave, some she knows and many she doesn't. Andrew is there with a pale face, his eyes glued to the coffin that is slowly being lowered into the ground. Milner is standing next to her, holding her hand, and she is glad of the comfort. Brookie is looking absolutely devastated.
There are people she vaguely recognises; the Lewes-couple, some of Foyle's acquaintances that she has met over the years… But most of them she doesn't.
When the funeral is over, Andrew invites people home for tea, but Sam stays by Foyle's grave. He has been buried next to Rosalind; the gravestone is new and freshly engraved with his name and dates.
People have slowly left and Sam is alone. Finally she lets the tears come. Tears not only for a friend lost but for the love they could have shared.
THE END.
AN: thank you for reading. Now, I have another sequel to this and "Fate" - a somewhat more hopeful piece. No romance between our lovely couple of course, but nevertheless more hopeful. I'm just not sure if I should post it. It might make "everything all right", but I'm not sure it would not break the feel of these two short fics. Let me know what you think? /Cammie