Those Daring McQuacks in their Flying Machines
by Zebeckras

Act II chapter 2

Although Beth had intended to do her best to rejoin the Flying McQuacks and company discreetly, Loopy felt a need to announce their return, and did it with gusto. "Like hiiii, guys! We are back and shopping totally occurred!"

Beth cringed slightly, feeling conspicuous in her sole purchase. Loopy had somehow managed to pick out two bags' worth of souvenirs - granted, they were small bags, but still it was impressive. She'd been adamant that Beth get just one thing she wouldn't normally get; in fact, she'd made Beth promise to buy whatever one thing she picked out, sight unseen.

And that was how Beth ended up wearing a flight cap at an airshow while spending the day with a family of professional pilots. She felt like a wannabe, but Loopy was just too nice for her to let herself take it off. If Loopy took it the wrong way and her feelings got hurt - which, granted, didn't seem likely since the young lady was positively bubbly with exuberance - well, Beth would feel too guilty in any case. Maybe she could take it off in a little while and claim it was making her head itch or something.

"Helloooo, sweetheart!" Birdy called, making her way over to her daughter. She stopped and took in the sight of the souvenir bags, and then shook her head with a smile. "I'm so glad to see you didn't go overboard."

"Mom, every single thing in these bags is totally rad, so like, don't freak, 'kay?" She rushed off towards her father.

Birdy didn't respond, but turned straight to Beth and beamed at her. "Oh Beth, did you just buy that hat?"

"Oh - um - yes, it... well Loopy suggested..." She hunched her shoulders self-consciously.

"You look darling! Such a natural look for you!" Birdy appeared to be delighted, which was itself almost embarrassing because Beth couldn't tell what, exactly, she was thinking. "We haven't really had a chance to speak much yet... And I've really been looking forward to meeting you for so long now."

Oh, lord. Beth mentally crossed her fingers that this wasn't going to go the way she thought it probably was. "...Oh? I-I mean, well, it's really so nice to have this opportunity - I've known Launchpad for quite a while now, so... Um, and Loopy is just so sweet."

"I'm so thrilled that you think so!" Birdy patted Beth's shoulder, beaming, then followed it up with, "And you know, I can tell that you're a great influence on Launchpad. He obviously just dotes on you."

"Uh-huh..." Beth looked around, trying not to be obvious about looking for an escape. Launchpad was facing away from her, talking to his father and his sister, and Gosalyn and Honker were talking closely about something. "He's a great friend..." she added in the hopes that this would shutter the conversation.

Birdy took the compliment almost as if it was aimed at her. "He's always been a darling boy," she said happily. "Would you like to see some pictures? I always keep a walletful on me." She stuck her hand into her bag and rooted around.

"Huh? I mean - oh no, that's really not..."

"Here we are!" Birdy sang, pulling out a thick folded grouping of photos. "Here's Launchpad's first crash. He was so tiny!"

Beth blinked and stopped protesting. She threw a quick, guilty glance at Launchpad, found he was still facing away from her, and decided she could spare a few minutes looking over his baby photos. As long as it made his mother happy...

"An arrow? Wow, Bro, that's... different," said Loopy. Ripcord handed her the arrow that they'd finally pulled out of the wall, and she looked at it with what was either careful study or else total indifference. Loopy's expressions tended to run together at times, unless she was expressing her excitement over something. "Yeah, like, that is totally an arrow all right."

"That's what we thought," said Ripcord, taking it back and studying it again.

Loopy caught her brother's eye and raised an eyebrow. "Y'know, it's like, too bad we don't have a superhero around, or some junk. Bet we'd have no probs figuring this out then."

with a very slight glare, Launchpad said, "I don't think we need a superhero to figure out where to send a lost arrow, Loopy."

"Oh, sure. Totally right, I guess." She shrugged, a quiet smile on her face.

"Anyway son - I meant ta suggest this earlier..." Ripcord put a hand solidly on his son's shoulders, which was enough of an impact to make Launchpad stagger slightly. "You oughta think about comin' up with us in the show. Like old times!"

"Aw, nah, that's okay. I don't even know the routine you guys're gonna do."

Loopy shrugged. "Pretty much what we used to do, actually. C'mon, it'd be a great way to show off!" She winked.

Launchpad considered it for a moment, then shook his head. "That's not why I came, guys. Thanks, but no thanks. I just wanted to let the kids see ya flyin' and get a behind-the-scenes tour."

"Uh-huh," Loopy said knowingly. Launchpad swatted her in the arm and tried to make it look like an accidental muscle spasm.

Several feet away and out of sight, Maurice LaDinde leaned against a wall and eavesdropped. He wondered if this new information could help his efforts. If his target went up in a plane, and the plane unexpectedly crashed, that might well be the perfect assassination. All kinds of accidents could happen with faulty equipment, after all... Although, of course, if Launchpad McQuack was well known for his perfect flight record then an unexplained crash might prompt investigation. Still, it was worth considering; he would make his next attempt, and if that didn't work out, revisit this idea.

He made his exit and headed for the area that was housing the battle jets, taking no notice of the pair of ten-year-olds with their eyes trained on him.

Launchpad, meanwhile, turned around to see his mother and Beth standing close together and staring at something. It looked ominous somehow. "What're they lookin' at...?" he asked warily.

"If I know your Mom," Ripcord said, "those'd be the baby pictures she whips out an' shows everyone she meets."

Whirling back to face his father, Launchpad blanched. "My baby pictures?" Ripcord nodded, and Loopy giggled. Launchpad was already moving. "Maaaaaaa!"

When he got there, Birdy stopped and smiled up at him sweetly while Beth looked up at him with a guilty look on her face. "Yes sweetie?" his mother asked innocently.

"What're you guys -" Yep. Pictures. He grit his teeth. "Awww, Beth doesn't wanna see those," he said forcefully.

"Oh, we were just reminiscing. You were such a sweet little boy." Birdy reached up and patted his cheek. "And some things never change!"

"MA, really, for the last time..."

Catching the look on his face, Birdy smiled widely. "Oh goodness, it's getting close to our pre-show practice run! I need to go talk with your father, sweetheart, excuse me!" She hurried off in the other direction.

Beth was looking at him apologetically, but now he could see that she was also trying to hold in some kind of reaction. He sighed. "What."

She put her hands to her mouth and giggled. "You were so CUTE!" Launchpad groaned and put his hands over his face, feeling it growing warm as he turned red. "I'm sorry - really - but you were adorable!"

Well... maybe this wasn't so bad. He regarded her out of one eye. "Adorable, huh?"

"Absolutely precious." She giggled again. "Such huge eyes and all that hair and... and you crashed everything."

"Aw, geez."

"She has at least ten pictures of you in a wreck and you're always giving this thumbs-up sign..."

"I started doin' that before I learned to talk."

"Awwwwww!" Beth at least sounded sincere when she squealed. There had to be a less humiliating way to bask in her appreciation, though.

"I gotta find a way to get those photos away from her," he said in a low voice. He decided to change the subject as Beth protested with more giggles. "So. Nice hat."

That got the giggling to die down, which was sort of a shame, he thought. "Oh. Loopy's idea. I feel like a dork - um... not because of the style, but - I mean, I'm not a pilot..."

"It looks nice on you." Actually, it looked adorable. He wondered if he could get away with telling her that.

She blushed and shrugged. "She picked it out. It's really not me-"

He shook his head. "It's totally you! It's a great look." The way she had it on, it was covering about half of her bangs and the rest were poking out from underneath, half-flattened down her head. He supposed she thought it looked silly, but he found the effect very becoming. "You should put the goggles down."

"Har de har. I'll wear this until the show starts and take it off when she can't see me."

Awww. "Well, suit yourself. Oh, speakin' of which, we should get the kids together an' go watch my family do their practice run - it's always-"

Beth put a hand on his arm. "Do you hear something? A kind of a - a whistling?"

He stopped and listened; he did hear a whistling. And a sort of a rushing sound. "Yeah... I wonder what-"

Before he could finish, Beth had grabbed him by the scarf and pulled him to the ground. Too surprised to resist, he went down like a sack of rocks, and a second later something whizzed over their heads. This was followed by a loud blast a short distance off. In front of them, Loopy yelled, "OmiGAWD, the souvenir cart just blew up!"

He looked down at Beth, who had his scarf clenched in both hands and was still tugging anxiously with her eyes squeezed shut. He detached one of her hands and held it in his own. "Uh... thanks."

"No problemo," she said weakly as he helped her to her feet. "Th-that was a missile...!"

They looked behind them to the source of the explosion. Sure enough, the closest souvenir cart was in shambles, with a bit of flaming debris off to one side. Beth blanched as she looked at it. "What the heck..." Launchpad began, as a staff coordinator he hadn't met came running up to them.

"Is everyone here OK?" he asked, half in a panic. "Apparently there was a bug in the X-25's system and the one of the missiles was spontaneously launched. We didn't even know it was armed!" He turned defensively to all of the Flying McQuacks, clearly upset, and said, "It - it shouldn't have been armed! I-I don't know what..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "I need to make sure nobody was hit over there... everyone here's fine, then?"

They assured him that they were, and everyone crowded around Launchpad to check him over. Beth hung off his arm the entire time.

The practice section of the airfield was back from where the show would take place, and it was a walk to get there. Beth kept clinging to Launchpad skittishly, which seemed to make pretty much everyone happy, so Gosalyn and Honker were largely ignored. Gosalyn took the opportunity to push her case.

"It's not normal to almost be killed three times in one day, Honk."

"Well... okay, that's true, but that doesn't mean someone's out to murder Launchpad!"

He could be so stubborn about some things, Gosalyn thought. Which was weird because he had NO backbone about most things. Was she really being unreasonable? She honestly didn't think so. "I didn't say murder. I said assassinate! There are subtle differences!" Honker shook his head, and she scoffed. "What? Like it makes more sense that after two other unrelated accidents aimed at him, all of a sudden, random MISSILE attack?"

Honker didn't have an answer for that. She could see him thinking and she knew she was getting her point across. Finally he asked, "Okay, well... let's say that it's true. What could we do about it? Your dad isn't here, and you already said Launchpad isn't listening to you..."

"Yeah, and looking at him now it doesn't look like he WILL listen. No, Honk, it's up to us... We can't move without evidence, but a guy like that's probably got piles of evidence stashed in his foot locker. All we have to do is bring it out where everyone can see it."

"But how do we get it?"

Gosalyn shrugged. "Snoop."

With a sigh, Honker said, "I was afraid you were going to say that."

Meanwhile, Launchpad wasn't complaining at all about the extra attention he was getting. He couldn't tell if it was because Beth was worried by him nearly being a missile target, or if she was shaken by so nearly having been one herself, or if there was something else completely... but in any case, she had been keeping ahold of his elbow for the past ten minutes. All the stuff with LaDinde seemed silly and out of proportion now, because nothing could compete with the connection he and Beth had.

At least, it seemed silly until they passed the hotshot pilot on their way to the practice field, and found him surrounded by fans and signing autographs. "Wow," said Beth appreciatively, "I guess he's really a celebrity, huh?" Her hands slipped away from his elbow.

"Yeah, he's great," said Launchpad sullenly. He refused to look.

Loopy was at his other side, and she tapped him on the shoulder and gave him a significant look when he met her eyes. Loudly enough for Beth to hear, she said, "So, like, are you gonna come up and fly with us or NOT, Big Bro?"

"Uh..."

Beth caught up with them. "Oh wow! That would be so much fun, I've never gotten to really see you fly!" she said.

Bolstered, he managed a smile. "Oh, well, I dunno... it's been a long time since I've done any formation flyin'..."

"You never forget a thing like that, son!" said Birdy. She and Ripcord were both instantly nearby as if this was the chance they'd been waiting for.

"Besides," Ripcord added encouragingly, "that's what practice runs are for. Ya just fly around and get back inta the swing'a things."

"Without, like, crashing into everyone," Loopy put in. Her parents each gave her a stern look. "What? Beth said he doesn't do that anymore! I was helping!"

Launchpad hung his head a bit sheepishly; things hadn't been going the way he'd hoped so far that day, and he was really rusty on their drill routines. "I really dunno, guys..."

This was everyone's cue to beg, and they did so. Beth joined in. "Please? This might be the only time I get to see what you can do!" she said. He looked into her eyes and she looked so sincere and genuinely excited at the thought that he melted.

"Well... yeah, okay, just for the practice."

"Woohoo!" squealed Loopy. Before anyone else could react, though, Launchpad shook his head.

"Oh no - wait. I forgot. I don't have a plane here, so it's a no-go."

Birdy looked to Ripcord. "Well, the show coordinators do have a spare in the hangar..."

"It'd take a while to get out here an' get it up to par, but..." Ripcord trailed off uncertainly.

Launchpad shrugged. "Nah, no big deal. I'd be cuttin' into your practice time."

"Oh, just use mine," Loopy said. "I've totally practiced to the max this week, if I do anymore I'm gonna jinx myself."

The thought of flying in a pink plane, which Loopy was still stubbornly using, wasn't quite as impressive as Launchpad would've hoped. "No offense, Loopy, but I'd kinda rather not have people thinkin' I'm a 12-year-old girl." She stuck her tongue out at him, and as a reflex he mimicked it.

"Oh honestly, one plane is as good as another. I'll fly Loopy's, you fly mine," said Birdy. She set off for the planes as if the matter was decided, which Launchpad supposed it now was. Loopy took off after her. "Uh, like, Mom? Do NOT look in the glove compartment, 'kay? MOM...?"

Ripcord stayed behind and grinned at Launchpad and his guests. "Glad that matter's settled. Little lady," he said to Beth, "you an' the kids just get comfy, an' watch Launchpad here."

"I will! I mean we all will! Wow, this is exciting!" She beamed at Launchpad and gave him a thumbs-up sign. "Good luck! Oh, shoot, where are my earplugs..." She lost herself in going through her bag at that point.

Gosalyn caught him on his way to the plane. "Be careful, Launchpad. We'll be on the lookout down here, so you watch out up there."

"Uh, will do, Gos," he said, without any idea what she could've meant. "Glad you're lookin' out for me." Gosalyn nodded seriously, and went back to looking around so intently that she could've been casing the area.

His last clear view of his friends was of Beth trying to force earplugs onto Honker and Gosalyn; Honker seemed grateful, but Gosalyn appeared to be trying to refuse them. He wondered who'd win that battle.

Notes: in "Top Duck" the Flying McQuacks seem like they do stunts but I call them formation flyers here. I decided on this b/c they fly as a group and I thought I'd use "stunts" for LaDinde since he flies solo. The stunts that the McQuacks do involve multiple people so I consider it formation. But yes, I'll admit that I hadn't seen "Top Duck" in a while when I started writing this so not all the details are spot-on; I finally was able to rewatch it and I'm trying to make this as consistent as I can. Sticking with the "formation" vs "stunt" designation though.