Just wrote this one shot for fun. Nothing too serious, pretty fluffy and cute. Not meant to be epic or mindshattering, just wanted to write something lighter. Hope you enjoy it.
Edward
I stood in the doorway watching her get ready. I knew I shouldn't be here, but I had to see her. She looked exquisite in her white dress, her hair all done up in curls. She leaned forward towards the mirror and put in her mother's pearl earrings. I remembered the day Renee gave them to her as a graduation present when we graduated high school. It seemed so long ago, but it passed in the blink of an eye. Nothing had changed and everything had changed. Bella was my best friend, the love of my life. Today was going to be the happiest day of her life…with someone else.
"Damn it," I whispered, closing my eyes. Today was going to be rough, painful to say the very least.
"Edward?" She glanced up at me in the mirror and smiled.
"Hey," I forced a smile and stepped into the room. "Am I allowed in here or is this girls only?" I looked around at all the makeup scattered around the room. Her bridesmaids were nowhere to be seen, but I'm sure they were close. My sister Alice was like Bella's shadow. The best thing about it was that I got to see Bella a lot. I wouldn't say we've drifted apart since college, but she's been busy with him. I was jealous that it was his day with her. I'd had plenty; building a tree house when we were six, defending her to the schoolyard bully when we were twelve, giving Bella her first kiss at fourteen. But this was the most important day…and it wasn't mine. She didn't belong to me anymore. I mean she'd never belonged to me the way I wanted her to. There was always something keeping us from taking the next step. Another guy. Another girl. College. Choices.
"Of course. You're my best friend, you're always welcome." She turned towards me and smiled. "What do you think?"
"I guess you look okay…" I shrugged and smirked at her.
"Okay?" She narrowed her eyes at me.
"You look beautiful Bella."
"Thank you."
I put my hands in my pockets and started idling around the room. "I can't believe you're getting married."
"I know right? Remember that day in the tree house we always said we'd never get married unless it was to each other?" She laughed a little and shook her head, remembering.
"Yeah. Crazy huh?" I laughed along with her, but I didn't think it was funny.
"You'll always be my best friend…you know that right? Doesn't matter if I'm married or not." She stepped towards me and pulled at the edges of my tux.
"I know," I mumbled. "You are my best friend." I bit down on my lip and tapped my toe. I was nervous.
"Are you okay?" She brushed her fingers down my stomach and I shivered.
No. Tell her no. Tell her she belongs with you. Tell her that you love her. That you're in love with her. Tell her now. "I'm fine."
"Bella?" Her dad Charlie stuck his head in the room. "We're up soon." He smiled at me and nodded.
"Okay Dad. I'll be right out." Bella looked up at me again. "Are you sure you're okay? Did you and Tanya have a fight?"
"Yes I'm fine. Yes we had a fight. Last week. Let's just say she's moved out already." I cleared my throat and started towards the door. "I guess I'll see you out there."
She followed me out, stopping just short of turning the corner to enter the church. I found my place in the line of groomsmen and waited for the music to start. It might as well be the fucking Funeral March with how I was feeling right now.
"Edward." Her fiancé Paul shook my hand and flashed his irritating smile. I wasn't really friends with him, but Bella practically begged him to ask me to be a groomsmen. I only accepted because I knew it would make her happy. I'd really like to kick the guy in the back of the knees.
"Paul. Congratulations man."
"Thanks. I'm quite a lucky guy."
I gritted my teeth and forced a smile. "Yes you are." You son of a bitch.
The music started and I took a deep breath before we all started down the aisle. We took our place up at front and I plastered a happy expression on my face like I was excited about watching the girl I love marry someone else. It killed me.
The music faded before starting up again, changing pace and tune a little. The bridesmaids started down the aisle. Rosalie, Angela, that horrible girl Jessica that they stuck me with, and lastly Alice as her maid of honor. Everyone stood as I tried to hold back the tears that started prickling behind my eyes. This was it.
The veil shadowed over Bella's face now, but I could tell she was smiling. She's happy Edward. Just let her be happy.
I started playing with the cuffs of my shirt as I watched her walk down the aisle. I pretended that it was me waiting for her and that we were about to spend the rest of our lives together. It was stupid and totally counterproductive to my plan of getting over her, but I figured it wouldn't matter anyway. She was impossible to get over.
Bella and Charlie finally reached the end of the aisle. He pulled up her veil and kissed her cheek before placing her hand in Paul's. I could have sworn she looked at me the moment she turned, but I must have been imagining it. There was a slight pause, a short moment where I thought she looked nervous but she quickly recovered.
"Please be seated," the minister said. "We are gathered here today…"
My ears drowned out his voice. I was focused on her. Only her. The way that soft tendril of hair caressed her shoulder. Or the blush on her cheeks. I'd never seen her more radiant before in my life and I've known her since we were kids.
I finally noticed Paul, standing beside her with his hands enclosing her tiny fingers. He looked more and more uncomfortable as the moments passed and I was secretly praying he'd pass out so we could send in the video to American's Funniest Home Videos. Anyone else would have seen him staring at Bella with love and adoration. I saw them looking past her, panicking in fear.
"I…" He stuttered, interrupting the minister.
"Paul?" Bella whispered. "Are you okay?"
"I…" He looked around and stepped close to Bella. "I can't do this."
Her face froze, the perfect moment of heartbreak in her expression. "What?" She asked, her voice breaking.
"I can't do this. I'm sorry."
There was a small gasp from the first few rows of people, those close enough to hear. My eyes danced between Bella and him in disbelief.
"I'm sorry," he said again. He hesitated and took a step back before taking off down the aisle. He disappeared out of the church, leaving everyone in stunned silence.
"Oh God," Bella whispered. She looked down at her dress. Her fists were clenched tightly into the fabric like she was holding on for dear life.
My breathing had steadily increased as I watched her try to deal with what had just happened. I could tell she was about to lose it and I wanted to protect her just like I did on the playground.
"Oh God," she said again, rocking back and forth between her feet. She looked up and found my eyes. "Please get me out of here." I could tell from here that her eyes were on the brink of tears. Her voice shook as she spoke barely above a whisper and she didn't need to ask me twice.
I stepped forward and wrapped my arms protectively around her as I escorted her out of the church. I ignored the talk and whispers as we left. I was only focused on her.
"I'm going to go get my car," I said when we reached the sidewalk. "Just stay here okay, I'll be right back." She didn't respond but I knew she heard me.
I ran to the back parking lot and squealed out and around the corner. She was waiting for me just as I'd left her, almost like she was frozen like a statue.
I hopped out and opened the passenger door for her, but she didn't move. I grabbed her hand and helped her into the car.
She was silent for the first two blocks, staring straight ahead at the street in front of us. As soon as I turned onto Cornerstone Avenue she started sobbing hysterically, pulling at her veil like it was a vicious monster trying to suffocate her.
"Get it off!" She screamed. She pulled at the back of her dress, but it was impossible to get to in the car. "I want it off now. I can't breathe. I can't breathe…" She cried.
"We're almost to my apartment sweetheart, just wait a minute and I'll help you." I pushed my foot down harder on the pedal and reached for her hand.
As soon as we got to my place I rushed around and helped her out of the car. She was still crying when we walked through the lobby, granting strange stares from everyone in there. I led her up to my apartment and as soon as I closed the door behind us, she started pawing at her dress again.
"Relax Bella." I brushed her hair over her shoulder and pleaded with her to calm down. She finally dropped her hands to her sides and allowed me to unbutton the back of her dress. As soon as it was enough she pulled it down and stepped out of it. I felt the blush rise to my cheeks when I saw her in her corset and thigh highs. That wasn't meant for me.
"Sorry," I said, looking away.
She knelt down and buried her head in her hands. I leaned down and tried to get the veil out of her hair without hurting her too much. I didn't have the most delicate touch when it came to that kind of thing.
"Bella," I whispered. I didn't know what to do. What usually makes girls feel better? "Can I draw you a bath?"
She sniffled and nodded slightly. "With bubbles," she mumbled.
"With bubbles. Okay."
I passed through my bedroom and into my bathroom to start her a bath, pulling off my tux along the way. I undid the first few buttons on my shirt and started the water. I searched some of my cabinets and was thankful that Tanya had forgotten some of her bath stuff. I poured some of the bubble bath into the water and left it running as I went back out into the living room.
My breath hitched in my throat when I saw her. I noticed her lingerie in a pile on the floor beside the couch. She sat, curled up in a blanket, staring straight ahead out the window.
"Bells?" I asked. I walked around and crouched down in front of her. I touched her bare shoulder where the blanket had slipped a little. "Your bath's almost ready."
She silently stood up and wobbled towards my room. I helped her to the bathroom and turned to give her some privacy. I should probably call her parents and tell them that she's with me. I wasn't going to say that she was alright, because she obviously wasn't.
"Stay with me…" She whispered. "Please." I turned back towards her. "I don't want to be alone."
"Okay."
Before I could say another word she dropped the blanket and I looked up at the ceiling as she lowered herself into the water. I'd always wanted to see her like this, beautiful and just Bella. But she was so broken now; I couldn't bring myself to look. It felt wrong.
As soon as I heard the water settle, I sat down beside the tub and brushed her hair over her shoulder. The bubbles covered her up to her shoulders, but her legs were poking out and over the end of the tub. I kissed the side of her head as she cried silently.
"How could he do that to me?" She asked softly.
"I don't know…" I answered honestly.
"I mean if he didn't want to marry me, why did he fucking ask me? I was never that girl…" She choked back a sob. "I was never that girl to pressure him into anything. He….asked me. I thought he wanted me forever." She looked down at the water. "He must have changed his mind. Maybe he didn't love me."
"It's impossible not to love you."
"You're my best friend Edward, you're supposed to say that. And besides…" She bit down on her lip. "The way you love me and the way he was supposed to love me are different." You're wrong, I thought to myself. "I just don't understand," she said.
We sat in silence for a long time until she shivered. The water must be getting cold.
"I'll get you a towel." I stood up and grabbed one from the cabinet. She stood up, unashamed of her nakedness, and waited for me. I couldn't help but look this time. The beads of water rolled down her back, caressing the peaks and valleys of her muscles until they settled in the dimples of her back.
I cleared my throat and wrapped the towel around her. "Thank you," she said.
I went into my bedroom and grabbed some clothes for her to wear. I handed her a t-shirt and a pair of my boxers and gave her a few minutes to change.
I finished undressing in my bedroom and pulled on some sweatpants as she stepped into the room.
"Do you wanna…" My eyes flashed towards the bed. I didn't know if she wanted to sleep or talk or whatever.
"Can we just lay down?"
"Yeah." I nodded and pulled back the covers. We both crawled in and she instantly settled on my chest. I leaned over to my nightstand and flipped on the radio to suppress the overwhelming silence.
"Was I not enough?" She mumbled into my skin. "Was I not enough for forever?"
My heart broke as she muttered those words. "Bella…"
"I mean…" She sat up on her elbows. Her hair brushed over my bare chest. "I know I always had boyfriends growing up but I never felt that feeling with them…." She glanced up at me and I swear I saw her blush in the dim light. "And I started to think that maybe I wasn't supposed to feel it with them so I just accepted it and moved on. When he asked me to marry him, I thought it was right. How could I have been so wrong?"
"Our hearts can betray us in the worst way," I mumbled. "You deserve to feel it, whatever it is."
"But isn't it better to feel loved by someone else than feel it with someone who doesn't want you that way?" She diverted her eyes and started playing with her fingers.
I could answer her. I couldn't because that was how I felt with her. I would rather be in her world and love her from a distance than be with someone else. I think that was why it never worked with anyone else. I never thought she could want me in high school, so I forced myself to date other girls. And when Bella started seeing other guys, I figured that was how it was supposed to be. But it was all wrong. I was wrong.
"Edward?" She ran her fingers through my hair as I blinked back into reality. "Thank you." She smiled a little for the first time since everything happened and my chest ached. She rested her chin on my chest and looked up at me. I couldn't take my eyes away from hers, almost like they were the center of my universe. She was my sun and I was nothing but a wandering planet, drawn to her by gravity. It was everything I'd ever known.
Before I could consciously tell myself no, I placed my finger under her chin and pulled her towards me. Her breath hitched in her throat, our lips lingering close to each other. I took a deep breath and leaned forward, closing the gap between them. I hadn't kissed this woman since I was fifteen and yet nothing had changed. That was the day I fell in love with her, I mean really fell in love with her. And now it was happening all over again, except this time I was falling harder than before.
Her lips were frozen for the slightest moment before she starting kissing me back. She whimpered and threaded her fingers through my hair, pulling herself closer than before. My hand caressed her cheek and drifted down to her neck as I tasted her. When my mind finally caught up with what was happening, I pulled back afraid that I fucked up.
"I'm sorry," we said simultaneously. She sat up and pulled her knees up to her chest. She ran her fingers over her lips again and again, like she was trying to wipe me from them.
My leg started bouncing up and down anxiously. I was an idiot. I took advantage of her when she was vulnerable. She must hate me.
When I finally looked at her again she was the epitome of calm, looking at me with this strange look on her face. She almost looked at me with the adoration I knew was in my eyes when I looked at her.
"I wanted to," she mumbled.
"I'm not sorry," I admitted.
"What?" Her voice broke as she pulled herself onto my lap. Her hands were on my face, in my hair, across my chest. Everywhere.
"I'm not sorry. I've wanted to do that again ever since the first time."
"Why?" She shook her head as the tears fell from her eyes. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"
"Because I knew you didn't want me that way."
"You don't know anything. I felt that first kiss in my fingertips and in my chest and ever since then I've been trying to find it again. I never did."
"What are you saying?" I whispered. "That you…love me? That you've loved me all this time and we wasted it with other people?"
She started sobbing and pressed her forehead to mine. "Do you love me?"
"I always have. Every time I closed my eyes I was somewhere with you Bella. No one else. I was so stupid I should have told you."
She kissed my cheek. "We both kept silent to guard our hearts Edward. I thought I was letting you go and do what you wanted. I didn't want to scare you away and lose you. I wouldn't survive it. I don't know my life without you in it."
"You couldn't lose me if you tried." I pulled her to me and pressed my lips against hers. "Maybe we were just…testing fate you know? With all this bullshit before."
"Does this mean we passed the test?" She wrapped her arms around my neck.
"I think that depends on where we go from here. But I think for now I'd just like to be with you. Just for tonight okay?"
She nodded and I lay back down, pulling her with me. We didn't talk about anything complicated for the rest of the night and I wanted it that way. I always imagined this moment to be just like this….minus the whole "Bella almost gets hitched" scenario. I wanted it to be about us being us. Edward and Bella. That's it.
She fell asleep in my arms and it was the best night of sleep I'd had in awhile. I thought nothing could touch us now. I realized how wrong I was the next morning.
The knock on the door woke me. Bella mumbled something, but stayed sleeping on my chest. I kissed her cheek and slid out of bed, careful not to disturb her.
I ran my fingers through my hair as I shuffled through the living room to my front door. I didn't know who I was expecting, but the person who ended up on the other side of my door was the last on my list. Paul.
My eyes widened as I took in his appearance. He was still in his tux from yesterday except it was all wrinkled and disheveled. He looked like shit to say the least, although I can't say I felt any sympathy for him.
"I need to see her," he said. He glared at me like he knew everything; like somehow despite how much I tried to hide it he knew how I felt about her. Just like he knew she'd be here.
I pushed the door closed a little, blocking my apartment from view. I didn't want him seeing her or any of her clothes lying on the floor, but it was too late. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he saw everything.
"Oh I see…" He mumbled.
"Edward?" Bella called. I sighed and peeked around the door. She was walking into the living room, still half asleep.
"Just stay in there."
I jumped as Paul forcefully pushed the door open. Bella gasped when she saw him and froze mid-step.
Paul laughed under his breath. "I guess I deserve that. I was coming here to tell you I made a mistake and…beg you to take me back, but I don't want you anymore. You obviously weren't too devastated to jump in someone else's bed."
She cowered back, hurt by his words. It was technically true, but we didn't do what he was accusing us of.
"I'm sorry…" I pinched the bridge of my nose. "You…left her at the alter. And now you're berating her? Did I miss something?"
"Obviously not. She looks thoroughly taken care of. I always knew she acted like a little slut in bed, but I didn't realize she actually was one."
I grunted and threw my fist into his cheek.
"Edward!" Bella screamed and ran towards us. Paul stumbled back, grabbing at his face.
"Get out of my apartment asshole." I shook my hand and closed the door on him.
"Are you okay?" Bella reached for my hand. Her eyes were red, brimming with tears.
"I'm fine."
"Why did you do that?" She asked.
"Because despite the fact that I'm thankful for what he did, I know he hurt you. And those things he said…"
"I should have said no." She shook her head. "When he asked me to marry him. That wasn't fair to him."
"That doesn't give him the right. Don't defend him Bella."
"I'm not. I'm just saying I've made mistakes." She shrugged. "I regret a lot of things."
I nodded and reached for her hand. She sighed and pulled me back towards the bedroom. Instead of avoiding all of our issues, we talked about them all day. We ordered in food and Bella made me put a bag of frozen peas on my hand so it wouldn't swell. When she finally fell asleep again, I reached for my phone and called her mother. I knew they assumed she was here, but I wanted to tell her myself.
"Edward?" She answered. "Is she okay? She left her phone at the church?"
"She's okay. I'm taking care of her." I cleared my throat. "Paul was here."
"And what did that needle dick have to say for himself?"
I laughed and shook my head. Renee was quite a…contemporary mother. She was always the one teaching us the latest slang and the newest fashions. Of course it got a little awkward when she started talking about sexual positions in front of Bella and I, but we just laughed.
"Well he said he came to apologize and then he saw Bella and I in a…compromising position. He called her a slut."
She gasped. "And?"
"I knocked him in the jaw."
"No I mean what compromising position?"
"Renee nothing happened, I wouldn't do that." I think Renee was the only one I'd ever told how I felt about her daughter, which was strange. Everyone else knew it, but she was the only one I'd explicitly talked to about it.
"He saw it Edward. He saw the way you looked at her. And the way she looked at you when she got to the end of that aisle. I saw it. She wanted it to be you."
"So where are we supposed to go from here then?"
"Well I think that's up to you and my daughter, but I think the first logical step would be for you to take her out to dinner or a movie." I could almost hear her smiling through the phone.
"Okay. I'm sure she'll call you when she wakes up, I just wanted to let you know she was here."
"I'm happy for you guys you know. It wasn't that I disliked Paul until recently, but I wanted more for her. I knew you two were in love with each other the moment you laid eyes on one another. I was just waiting for you to realize it too."
"You couldn't have said something before she almost married someone else?"
"Not my place. I knew it would happen when it was supposed to. Now get going and stop wasting time with her."
"Bye Renee." I hung up and went back to the bedroom. Bella was smiling at me from bed, her arms resting over her head. "That was your mother. She thinks I should take you out on a date."
"And what do you think?"
I collapsed on the bed and crawled up her body, kissing her skin along the way. "I'm thinking Italian."
Hope you enjoyed it. I love this Edward, he's so adorable. : ) Have a great day.