Just for fun, first part of a two-shot. Contains Clashshipping, Psychoshipping, Darkshipping, some Yamishipping. Yup, guess who the main characters are~ Also, bad language. Lemon and lime. Oh, and a hint of Puzzleshipping.

Melvin = Yami Marik, as per usual :)

All characters (c) Kazuki Takahashi.

On set.

Melvin stormed up to Yami angrily and prodded him in the shoulder.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Yami exclaimed, rubbing at his shoulder grumpily.

"Yugi's having a hikari sleepover!"

"…And? What's the problem?"

"We should totally get in on it!" Melvin said, jumping about slightly. "I mean, how dare they have one without us!"

Yami frowned and put his foot down for once. "No, Melvin. You are not going to crash my hikari's sleepover. Do you hear me, aibou?"

Melvin pouted. "Why the EFF not?"

"Because he wants to have some time with the other hikaris and even though we're not lovers anymore, I don't want him to be hurt. And he would be hurt if we crashed it. So NO, Melvin. You will NOT crash his sleepover."

Melvin thought it over. "…Or what?"

Yami folded his arms and got his serious face on. "Or no sex for a week."

Melvin's jaw dropped and he backed up a step. "Okay, okay, I won't crash it. Jeez, Pharaoh. No need to pull an ultimatum out like that."

"Good," Yami said, his tone satisfied. "You still want a sleepover, don't you?"

"… A little bit," Melvin admitted.

Bakura, overhearing, asked if he could join in. "Ryou's going, and I had nothing else planned later."

Melvin shrugged. "My place?"

"Why your place?" Bakura asked, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"It's the biggest. And seeing as the hikari sleepover is happening round Yami and Yugi's…" Melvin shrugged. After a moment Bakura nodded. Yami just smiled.

Later that evening, at Melvin's flat.

Yami was the first to arrive with his bag of essentials, sleeping bag tucked under one arm. Melvin chuckled and swept him inside, kicking the door closed as he kissed Yami.

"Hi," Yami said rather breathlessly. "I'm pleased to see you too. What was that for?"

"Well I'm going to have to behave tonight, with Bakura over. I just wanted you to myself a little before he gets here."

Yami smiled and stroked Melvin's cheek. "We've got a few minutes, I guess." With that he leaned up and laced his arms around Melvin's neck, his things dropping unnoticed to the floor. "You've got me."

Melvin kissed him and looped Yami's legs around his waist, hitching Yami up so it didn't hurt his neck to kiss him.

Yami grunted a little as he was shifted and ran his hands through Melvin's hair. "It's not my fault I'm so short."

"Of course not, Shariik," Melvin replied, nuzzling at his neck, causing Yami to melt helplessly. "Besides, I like having you this close."

"Mm I noticed," Yami breathed between their lips as he kissed Melvin slowly, teasingly. Melvin purred and held him tighter, fingers lightly caressing the small of Yami's back. "You're developing a fetish for my back, aren't you?"

"Perhaps," Melvin grinned. "Add it to the list."

Yami's reply was cut off by a knock at the door. Melvin let him to the floor with a sigh and opened the door to Bakura, who looked… provisioned.

"What's all that for?" Yami asked, idly resettling his shirt.

Bakura's eyebrows inched up. "Survival. I've no idea what sort of weird shit Melvin has in his kitchen so I came prepared."

So saying, Bakura poked around in Melvin's kitchen, tutting to himself. "It's a good thing I brought my own teabags."

"…Gay," Melvin muttered.

"I meant for making drinks," Bakura tossed over his shoulder. "Anyway, you two can't talk."

Yami ignored the comment and started shifting his belongings into the front room. Melvin shrugged the comment off, swiping a few biscuits from Bakura's bag. For no adequately explored reason.

A little while later and they were all ensconced in the front room, ready to get down to business. First off, some obligatory stripping.

They all got into their pyjamas; well, as much as passed for pyjamas. Bakura stripped down into a plain white tee-shirt and some boxers patterned like the Union Flag. Yami got into his EgyptianPanties while Melvin changed into his special MegaUltraChicken shirt and shorts. This made Bakura snigger until Melvin whacked him around the back of the head. They all got under their blankets and settled down to play a game.

"Deal," Yami said, tossing a deck of cards to Bakura.

"What are we playing?" he asked, catching it neatly and starting to shuffle in a needlessly showy manner.

"Poker," Melvin interjected before Yami could reply. No one gainsaid him, and so they started playing poker.

"Wait we haven't got anything to bet with," Yami objected after a few moments.

"We can bet our services," Bakura suggested, smirking. Melvin meerkat'd.

"Well as you're first to stake, what do you bet, Bakura?" Yami asked, giving Melvin a get-out-of-the-gutter look.

"A week's worth of making tea for the whole cast on set," Bakura threw down confidently.

"Oh, well I stake a week's worth of hair styling," Yami said, and they both looked to Melvin.

"I stake a week of laundry duties."

Yami and Bakura just stared at him for a few minutes before deciding not to ask why and moving on.

As the game progressed it became startlingly clear that Yami liked to gamble, and soon was owed three weeks of tea and laundry, an extra special kink session with Melvin and a promise not to be excessively limey; while owing back only a week of hair styling and a promise to get the leash out again with Melvin.

"How are you winning at this game you've never played before?" Bakura exclaimed in frustration as he acceded owing three days' worth of slave duties to Yami.

"I'm the motherflipping King of G—"

"Don't," Melvin said warningly, cutting him off.

"…Games."

"Oh dammit Pharaoh!" Melvin muttered, slapping his knee in frustration. Yami sniggered and won the hand against Melvin.

"I don't have anything else to stake," Melvin muttered thoughtfully.

Yami smirked, a distinctly evil look in his eye. "I'd settle for a strip."

"You what?"

"You heard me, did I stutter or something? Strip, my little slutscone. I command you."

Melvin rolled his eyes but stood up, ever so slowly unbuttoning his shirt and letting it slip from his shoulders to reveal his tattoos. Then he turned and pushed his arse out, the shorts falling down just enough to offer a glimpse of his purple underwear before sitting down again. Yami licked his lips and grinned. Bakura threw his cards down and demanded they play a new game.

Melvin fished out an empty bottle and set it spinning.

"Oh bloody hell," Bakura sighed but didn't care enough to change the game again. The bottle spun to a stop at him and Melvin all but pounced him for a kiss. Bakura kissed him back briefly and pushed him off.

"Your turn, Bakura," Yami said helpfully.

"Yes, I know how to play," he muttered in a surly voice. It landed on Yami. Bakura huffed and leaned over to give Yami a smooch. Melvin watched happily.

Then Yami spun and grinned as it landed on Melvin. He crawled across and pressed up close, slipping his tongue between their lips and chortling when Melvin returned the favour. Bakura coughed loudly, trying not to watch too avidly.

Melvin spun and hardly waited for it to settle on Yami before pinning his hands to the floor and kissing him soundly, bending him back a little. Yami spun it to Bakura and glomphed him, tangling his hands in his fluffy white hair and demanding more than a quick peck on the lips. Bakura struggled for a moment before giving in and placing his arms around Yami's waist. Melvin watched with a satisfied smirk before joining in, putting his arms around the both of them and sharing his kisses between. Bakura seemed to enjoy it – Yami definitely did – but pulled back after a little, when Melvin tried to crotch-grope him.

"Too far for spin the bottle," he said firmly, if breathlessly.

Melvin raised an eyebrow. "Sod the game then," he suggested, reaching out. Bakura's eyes went wide and he blushed while Yami chuckled and licked his neck, one arm draped on Melvin's hips.

Bakura pulled back with a troubled frown.

"Come on, you know you'll enjoy it," Yami murmured, sliding a hand under Bakura's shirt at the same time as Melvin slipped his hand under the waistband of Bakura's boxers. Bakura groaned, his eyes closing in bliss, but shuffled away.

"Fine," Melvin shrugged, sweeping a very willing Yami into his lap. "More Pharaoh for me."

Bakura rolled his eyes, tugged his shirt down and his boxers up, and put Zombie Holocaust into the DVD player.

When the movie was finished they all felt a little tired and settled down to sleep and turned the lights out, though only after Yami had plugged in his pyramid-shaped nightlight.

Melvin looked across Yami's curled-up body at Bakura who grinned evilly. They waited until Yami seemed to be asleep before Bakura turned off the nightlight. Yami started awake and they both heard him draw in shallow panicky breaths as he realised he was in complete darkness.

Bakura flicked Yami's ear while Melvin sneakily arse-groped him. Yami yelped and jerked. They proceeded to torture Yami in the darkness, startling him with sudden noises and touches, biting, squeezing, pinching, licking.

"Please turn the lights back on," he begged eventually, curling into the foetus position.

In answer Bakura blew into his ear and Melvin tickled his foot, making him jerk and whimper.

"Not fair," he whimpered.

"But in the dark you don't know what's coming next," Melvin breathed right into Yami's ear and clutched at his thigh.

"That's what I don't li—" He stopped midsentence as Bakura bit down on his wrist, making Yami squeak.

"Leave him to me," Melvin muttered to Bakura, who nodded and backed away. Yami shivered and waited for the torture to recommence.

Melvin licked his thumb and ran it down Yami's chest then slapped him hard around the face. He pinched his leg and ruffled his hair. He sucked at Yami's neck and pulled away before Yami could do anything to respond. It went on and on until Yami was a shuddery mess, desire and dread pounding through him in equal measure.

"Stop, stop…" he moaned, twitching and writhing. "I can't take it anymore, Melvin…"

Melvin cackled, shoved down Yami's panties, hitched his legs apart and pushed into him before either Yami or Bakura could say a word; not that they wanted to protest.

Yami writhed and squirmed in helpless pleasure as Melvin thrust into him, while Bakura could just watch in sick fascination, trying not to enjoy it too much.

"Oh, you gotta love the fear-sex," Melvin murmured.

"I hate fear-sex," Yami groaned, undermining his own words.

"Liar," Melvin replied and thrust once, twice more before sighing and emptying himself. Yami cried out hoarsely and climaxed in a heady rush.

For a few moments the only sounds were of Melvin and Yami trying to get their breath back. Then Yami whimpered, "Can we please put the lights back on now?"

Bakura muttered something under his breath about bloody sex-maniacs and plugged the nightlight back in. Yami sighed with relief and didn't object as Melvin pulled him into his sleeping bag.

"Well, I'm quite tired," Melvin declared. "Goodnight, my little hockey pucks. We should do this again sometime."

Yami shuddered and huddled closer in Melvin's arms. "I don't think I'll forget it in a while."

Bakura looked at them snuggling for a moment before sighing and shuffling closer to get in on the hug.

[the next morning]

Bakura woke up tangled in Yami's and Melvin's arms, who were both fast asleep. He looked around at the detritus of clothing, sweet wrappers and bedding and blew his ear-fringe bits out of his face.

"Well that was bloody fun," he muttered sarcastically to himself. "Now if only I could get out from under these wankers and make some tea…"

But he was trapped under them.

He growled in frustration, reaching out towards the teabags he could see on the kitchen counter longingly. "Must – be – limey…"

But no. No tea for Bakura in the aftermath. Mwahaha.

For some reason it's in my head-canon that Yami's afraid of the dark. 'Cause, yanno, of all the time he spent trapped in the Millennium Puzzle? I'll hush up now.