Title: Lesson Learned
Author: br33_br33/Sparkylovesfire
Pairing: Logan/Julian.
Rating: T
Word Count: 1,646.
Summary: Loving Julian and letting him love Logan back was like breathing; the most natural and uninhibited thing in the world.
Warnings: None, really. :)
Author's notes: Moar Jogan. I hope you enjoy. I loved writing it.
Disclaimer: The work which I base my fanfic is a fanfic from Glee, and I don't own that. Nor do I own Logan, or Julian. Or any other characters mentioned. They belong to the wonderful Miss CP Coulter, author of Dalton.
Lesson Learned
Growing up, Logan's father had always taught him to take whatever he wanted, whether it was good for anyone else or not. It was, after all, the Wright way. His father hadn't given one thought to how his mother would feel about him going after Michelle and breaking the poor woman's heart after she'd given him everything she could—a warm home, a son, a person to rely on. But in the end it hadn't been enough when John Logan Wright Jr., found what he wanted more than all those things, and it mattered not that it destroyed his wife. Which was why she'd cut off any and all connection to the Wright family, even her son. It didn't help that he was the mirror image of his father. She probably couldn't even look at him without wanting to slap him.
And though he hated just about everything about his father—even the things he shared with the bastard like his hair and eyes and that stupid fucking smirk that made Logan see red because it meant he'd gotten his way again—this particular fact of doing whatever it took to get what he wanted was one of the few lessons he had taken from the man. It was why he went after Blaine, after the boy Blaine had pined over, and Kurt, though wanting and trying to take all of those things had ended in complete disaster for him. He and Blaine could barely stand each other's presence, the second boy was gone forever, and Kurt was completely—and from how things were going, permanently—unavailable because he was enamored by said first ex/eternal rival. Following his father's lesson seemed to have gained nothing for him but a pissed off hobbit and a broken heart.
But that wasn't wholly true. Following his father's lesson had earned him something; something he hadn't even been aware of needing. It had earned him the respect and admiration of a boy with brown hair and eyes; a boy his eyes had passed over more than one time, but who deserved his attention more than all those others because he'd been there when things were too real for the other three and stayed through the heartbreak and torment of seeing Logan making fall for someone else. Let Logan take his anger out on him even if he got nothing from it but bruised ribs from being thrown against a desk and black eye for begging Logan to, "Please, calm down and talk to me—"
It had taken so long for Logan to see the hurt and suffering hidden beneath the sarcastic remarks and harsh yelling. When he finally did, after having it pointed out to him by Derek in the plainest way possible, it was just one more thing he could add to his ever-growing list of things he absolutely hated about himself.
But lying here, underneath the stars while that same brown-eyed boy pointed out the different constellations—"There's Serpens Caput, Lyra, and Hercules—that's Corona Borealis, I believe. Let me check my book just to make sure."—Logan thought he may just torch that list. Because everything he ever hated about himself dissipated the moment he pulled Julian tightly against his chest.
They were wrapped up in a blanket with Julian's book of constellations, a telescope, a set of binoculars, and a warm thermos of tea off to the side. The sky was clear of clouds and dotted with sparkling stars, all of which Julian seemed to be able to name. The water on the lake was calm and reflected back the bright round shape of the moon, the first celestial object they'd studied that night, Julian pointing out all the different craters and their names and whatnot. Though it was the middle of summer on Julian's lakeside manor, the late hour ensured they were still very, very cold. In fact, Logan could hear Julian's teeth chattering as he reached outside the blanket to grab his book.
"C'mere," Logan murmured, unzipping his jacket and opening his arms. The smaller boy held up a finger to say, "One second!" as he flipped through several pages before coming across the one he wanted. He scanned the page quickly before saying, "Mhmm, that's Corona Borealis. It's right next to Ophiuchus."
"That's nice. Now get over here." Julian obliged, rolling over into Logan's open embrace. He smiled as the blond kissed his temple.
"If we stay until morning twilight, we might be able to catch Jupiter."
"We're going to catch something else if we stay out here all night. Aren't you cold?"
"Actually, no." Julian buried himself tightly against Logan's chest, lips brushing gently against his neck, and the shiver that ran through Logan's body this time wasn't from the bite of the night air. "I'm really warm."
"Glad you're comfy. I'm going to catch hypothermia."
"We can go inside if you want. We won't be able to see the whole sky, but I should manage to get a few constellations to add to my log book." Logan wanted to go inside. He wanted to so badly because it was cold and he couldn't feel his toes and, to be quite frank, this was really, really boring to him. But Julian had been looking forward to this since he searched the weather forecast and found that it was going to be a perfect night for stargazing. Logan wasn't going to take this from him.
"I'll be fine. You owe me, though. Like any sexual fantasy I want to act out owe." Julian laughed, and it made Logan smile. Not a smirk, especially not that smirk, but a genuine, heartfelt smile.
"Okay. So long as it doesn't involve dressing up like a French maid or something…"
"You don't have to wear the little outfit, but I wouldn't mind hearing you moan my name in a French accent…" Julian raised an eyebrow. "What can I say? I have a thing for accents. And you're an actor, so it shouldn't be that hard for you…"
"Logan, you flatter me so," Julian said in a perfect, slightly feminine French affect. "Zank you for being so wonderful and kind and—oh!" Julian was caught off guard when Logan rolled on top of him, pressing their lips together in a smoldering kiss.
Julian was warm beneath Logan and tasted like tea, mint leaves, and something else that Logan couldn't put a name to, but was utterly and completely Julian. The hard kisses died down to nothing more than a light grazing of lips, as sweet and peaceful as the night sky.
They hardly ever said the words I love you. There wasn't really any need to. It was apparent in the way they fought, hostility sometimes present but always with an undertone of affection, in the way they knew what the other was thinking before he knew, and in the way they clung to one another in the dark, as if they couldn't let go lest they began floating away from each other, the way the Moon did from the Earth.
Maybe Julian was Logan's moon. The brightest object in his night sky, keeping him in balance and slowing him down. Always there, even when blotted out by the harsh rays of the Sun. Always coming back, even after turning away and seeming to leave nothing but a black abyss that gripped at Logan's very core. Unexplored territory Logan wanted nothing more than to navigate his way around, fingers ghosting over muscles, tendons, and ridges, lips pressed against flawless skin. Blocking blow after blow from stray hunks of space debris though it meant carving out pieces of himself to keep Logan safe from harm. Logan, however, wasn't going to let Julian slip away as easily as the Earth was allowing the Moon to. It simply would not happen, so long as Logan had any power to stop it.
The night passed, and at nearly four in the morning—after finally locating Jupiter and marking down four other constellations in Julian's log book—Logan packed up their miniature campsite and slung the backpack with it all onto his back before scooping a passed out Julian, wrapped up tightly in the blanket, up and carrying him back to the room they were sharing. They were both already in what could pretty much be considered sleeping attire: warm sweatpants and oversized shirts as well as hoodies (the one Julian was wearing was Logan's Dalton Academy Warblers' hooded jacket). He tucked himself in next to the dreaming boy and began counting the number of times Julian's chest rose and fall as he slept. It was his version of counting sheep. He found it to be much more soothing, since every puff of air passing those slightly pouted lips was another second Julian was right here, with him.
Logan realized something then. His father's lesson had been all wrong. He didn't need to take what he wanted because taking meant force, and force meant unwillingness, and unwillingness meant misery. It had been the reason for all his failed relationships in the past, romantic or otherwise. No, all he'd really needed to do was see what had been there the whole time and just let it happen. If things were meant to be, then they would fall into place, like they had with Julian. Everything with Julian was that simple. Talking, singing, making love. Loving Julian and letting him love Logan back was like breathing; the most natural and uninhibited thing in the world.