AN: SOOOOOOOO, guess who received some AMAZING news since I last wrote? Not Chevy Chase, not Justin "I'm a closet Eunuch" Bieber, and not even Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of Great Britain, Ireland and the British Dominions beyond the Seas(Insert my rant about why America should have a monarchy and my personal love and admiration of Her Majesty, her father, and many members of the royal families) T'was I! I got the news a paper I wrote last semester on the role of the media in the abdication crisis of Edward VIII is being published in a history journal, yayness! I'm going to be a published historian :-D That said, I've been itching to write some Remmie/Siri. Got this idea while doing a paper for homework. Nothing owned by me, it's all JK's. This will be about 2 or 3 chapters long. Please read and review!

Betrayed

It was a dark, dreary night. I could hear the sounds of the others sleeping as I kept my sleepless vigil. It was too much. What was the bloody point? It had happened and there was nothing I could do to erase it.

Rising from my bed, I grabbed my wand, and headed to the loo.

Here I am now…looking into the mirror but not seeing my reflection, but seeing Lily, James, and Peter. Would they miss me? I'm sure at least a little bit. But they would be free from the danger of being the friend of a werewolf. James and Peter wouldn't have to pretend to be angry with Sirius anymore and things would go back to the way they should be.

Moving from the mirror I raise my wand to the door. 'Colloportus'. I The locks in the clicked and a small red outline of the door glowed briefly. This was for the best. They didn't need me the way I needed them. Sirius didn't need me at all…but he…he was my oxygen. I needed him and his love. Now that I realized I had never had his love, what was the point? Sitting down on the floor I pointed the end of my wand to my left wrist. "D..Di…Diffindo!" The cut in my wrist was deep and dark red blood erupted out of the cut, covering my arms, boxers, legs, and the floor. I examined the wound in a strangly unattached manner as if I were looking at something not connected to me. After a few seconds I closed my eyes, laid my head against the wall and closed my eyes.

Eight ago I had been the happiest that I ever had been before in my life. I had everything I could ever have dreamed of and more. I had three amazing friends whom I loved deeply. James, the arrogant yet caring leader of the Marauder's the little goof-ball gang I was part of. Peter the shy yet funny friend who was always good for a good game of wizard's chess. Lily who is so sweet and smart. Like the Marauder's she had accepted not only my lycanthropy, but she was also the first person I came out as gay too. I feared rejection from her and my other friends, but the complete opposite had happened. They all embraced me for who I was and Sirius…he had become the light of my life.

When I told the Marauder's I was gay we sat in silence that seemed to stretch for eternity. The first person to react was Peter. He got up and went for his trunk. My stomach fell…he was going to demand to be moved to a new dorm. Instead he pulled out a bag of money and pulled out four galleons and silently deposited two each to Sirius and James who accepted it with smiles. It took another two seconds to realize what was going on. "You three made BETS?" I asked incredulously. The three nodded

"James and I had been wondering since second year. We both agreed you would come out fifth year and sure enough!" All of them started to laugh and only barley was Sirius able to choke out, "But..Wormy…thought..it would be…seventh year." And the roars of laughter continued. They took bets on my sexuality? I could murder them…instead; I pulled out my wand, "Levicorpus!" I laughed as their own laughter turned to shouts of panic.

Two nights later I was prowling the astronomy tower. It was a cold October Sunday night and I just felt like I had to get away from everyone. Not long after I had arrived I heard someone else coming. When the door opened I caught Sirius's scent…and it made me weak at the knees. When Sirius finally came through the door I started to get nervous though. He had a very troubled countenance that graced his features.

"Remus, we need to talk." He said simply. The years I had known Sirius taught me that when he said "We need to talk" means I need to sit back, shut up, and let him get off of his chest what he needed to. I did as much.

Sirius started to pace, hi right hand running through his black locks of hair and his left fiddled nervously in his pocket. "Remus, the other day when you told us that you were gay, it wasn't exactly the biggest shock I'd ever received. But Remus, when you actually said the magical word, I realized our friendship simply can't continue." He stopped pacing and looked at me as he said the last few words.

I don't know what it is like for someone to rip open your body and pull out all your organ's feels like, but the feeling I was experiencing must be similar. I felt completely hollow inside. My grasp of reality was gone, I could hear him speaking but words meant nothing. I had lost Sirius…someone whom I had loved as a broth…who am I kidding? I loved his as more. I long since have come to terms with the fact that I would never have him as a lover…but not even as a friend…I could feel the tears starting to form in my eyes. But I would NOT let them be shed, I would not let him take my dignity.

"Moony…Moony…REMUS!" Sirius's shouting brought me back to reality. "You faded out there for a minute chap. So, what do you have to say?" I took a few deep steadying breaths. "I totally understand Padfoot. I should have realized, I mean, the signs were there when I told you and the other two I was gay…" Sirius cut me off. He looked incredulous. "Really? Wow, you can really read me then Moons. I mean, I did everything I could not to really show how I felt, I figured it would make things uncomfortable." I just shook my head. "I…I could just tell. I'm sorry, Sirius. I'll ask McGonagall to move me to a different dormitory…"

Again, Sirius cut me off. "Why would I want you in a different dormitory?" My calm façade was starting to crack and I could hear the pain in my voice as I glared at him, "Because you think I'm a sick fucker for being a poof, I should have known you would hate…" "HATE? Moons, did you not hear a word said?"

Rolling his eyes he took a step forward, wrapped his arm around my waist and brought his lips to mine. I thought my legs would give out. His lips were much softer than I had ever imagined, almost delicate. I didn't know how long the kiss lasted, but when it broke apart I had to gasp for air…I had forgot to breath. "Remus John Lupin, I could never hate you. I love you more than anything in the world."

That had been a year ago today. In the intervening year I had fallen more deeply in love with Sirius than I ever thought was possible. I had become used to the idea of being alone my entire life. A gay werewolf was not exactly on many peoples list of people to date. But finding out the man who held my heart returned the feelings…it had been a year of bliss. Even when Sirius had run away from home because his parents found out about our relationship could not disturb either of us.

Even when in the last week he had seemed distant, I didn't give it much thought. I tried what I could do to cheer him up and at times it seemed to work. Whenever I asked him what was wrong he would smile and insist nothing, then he would plant a kiss on me and we would move on.

But last week…it had been the full moon. I knew something was wrong the moment I awoke that morning. My body was on fire, I was certain of it. My body was absorbed in pain I hadn't felt since the Marauder's had started to join me on the full moon. My eyes darted around my bed in the hospital wing. An old man with flowing white hair and a beard that reached his waist stood at the foot of my bed. The usual twinkle in Professor Dumbledore eyes was gone. Beside him on either side were Prongs and Wormtail, looking as solemn as I had ever seen them.

They explained to me how Sirius had told Snape to hit the knot of the Whomping willow and had glimpsed me in my furry condition. It was only a few hours later when James and Peter had been forcibly ejected from the Hospital Wing by Madam Pomfrey that Sirius came in. He looked as pale as I felt; I had seen corpses with more color. His face was puffy and red, I could tell he had been crying and his voice was barely perceptible. "Moony, sweet heart, I'm sorry!" By the time he choked out my name he had dissolved into tears again. I was shocked I hadn't broken down. I was shocked that I felt nothing at all. I felt void. "Sirius, please leave." I murmured, just loud enough for him to hear.

"Please, love, let me explain." He pleaded as he approached my bed. I looked into his eyes and could see that his regret was sincere. But regret for what I pondered? Regret he had hurt me? Regret he almost killed another student? Probably not, he was a Black. Their true motto is "Save your own ass first." He was in trouble, lots of it, and this would be why there was regret. Regret he had got caught.

My voice was monotone, I tried to inject some type of emotion, but it simply wasn't in me. "Sirius, there is nothing to explain. You betrayed my trust and my love." Sirius's legs gave out and he collapsed next to my bed and wept uncontrollably. His hands attempted to hold mine. I pulled my hand away and just stared at him, my blind completely blank.

Alerted by his louds sobs, Madam Pomfry came in and shooed him out of the Hospital Wing. The next week passed by and I avoided Sirius. I refused to look at him or acknowledge him in anyway. I was afraid that if I did, I would fall apart.

At night, when I prayed for sleep, or more preferably, death, to come, I laid there thinking I should have known this would happen. I should have known that Sirius Black could never have loved me. How could I have been so stupid and rash in thinking someone could actually love me? He had to have planned this.

Perhaps he had realized how over his head he was in and how in love with him I was. He had to have known had he broken up with me it would have spelled the end of the Marauders, the end of his perfect group. So what better way to no longer have to date me and keep James and Peter than to not only get rid of me, but the man he hated most, Severus Snape. Two birds with one stone as the saying goes. Of course it went south, so what else was he to do? Plead a lapse of judgment and his famous temper and things would go back to normal.

With these thoughts racing through my mind I opened my eyes. I was shocked by the amount of blood that now surrounded me. Who knew the human body could hold so much? Well, a doctor, but as I was not a doctor, it could come as a shock without any snickering. The scene before me was fuzzy and I could tell my focus on reality was failing. This was for the best.