A/N: I blame two things for this. I blame watching TF Prime episode 8 (Con Job) because one, WHEELJACK WAS AWESOME, and two, Arcee's comment to Bulkhead "So... Who's the Boyfriend?" totally put this into my head. I fucking fangirled all over my room at 1 AM when I heard it. No lie, I was spazzing. I also blame Pri-thePuppeteer, for adding fuel to the flames! Seriously, I commented on her human TF prototype pics, and she had said Ratchet(TFPrime) looks mad. I said Bulkhead broke the thingy from before, again. And my next turn in the convo, I asked her if it was sad that I totally ship Bulkhead/Wheeljack in TFPrime. She replied with: "of course not! They were together for so long, in faaaar missions, alone, together... uhm... you do the maths... oh waith, you alredy did it!" … She fueled this. I blame her.

Edit: Pri-thePuppeteer said I coulda made Wheeljack's leaving a bit more manly. *giggles* I guess I shoulda done that before, SINCE HE'S A MANLY WRECKER. But, meh. Now I fixed it~! XDD Now he's gonna go be unmanly in private with Bulkhead. X3 ALSO. OMG. WE TEMPORARILY HAVE THE HUB. OH MY GOD. IT EXCITES ME. I WATCH TFPRIME AS MUCH AS I CAN.

EDIT 2: Some one(or someones) asked if I was going to continue you. The plan was: Yes. I was. But now, I look it over more and more, because I think it's my best piece of scrap I ever did. But I've also realized that it's better as a one-shot. So, this is now a one-shot. I may make a sequal that branches from this, possibly directly, but more about Ironhide and Ratchet than Bulkhead and Wheeljack. But I don't have a set plan. Sorry.

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers Prime. If I did, WHEELJACK WOULD HAVE STAYED AND ARCEE'S COMMENT ABOUT HIM AND BULKHEAD WOULD BE TRUE. … And you wouldn't need the Hub to frikkin' watch it air, instead of using youtube. 3

Boyfriends, Interfacing, Bonds, Sparklings and... Engineering?

"So... Who's the boyfriend?"

Jack, Miko and Raf had thought that Arcee was just teasing Bulkhead about his enthusiasm about the new 'bot coming. Ratchet knew better, Miko could tell he was hiding something when Wheeljack was leaving. The medic seemed... depressed. But Ratchet normally stayed to himself, and would have denied her, so she didn't ask. Bulkhead seemed different after Wheeljack left too, like he was depressed like Ratchet. But he put up a good front. It was when Wheeljack returned, nearly 6 months later, that the two seemed to return to their normal selves that the kids had met.

"Kids, go get Wheeljack and Bulkhead." Ratchet told them, "I need to give Wheeljack a maintenance check and Bulkhead skipped his last week, so I really need to give him one." Raf wasn't at the base today, he was stuck with his mom. So Jack and Miko, especially Miko, ran to get the two 'bots. Miko pushed the lower human-sized key pad for Bulkhead's quarters. The door opened, revealing a messy suite with two rooms(bed and bath) fit for a wrecker. Miko and Jack looked around. Someone was singing "Valentine's Day", by Linkin Park. With a bit of voice accuracies, but that was to be expected from robots. Miko walked farther in and found giant hunks of metal on the ground. Jack walked over and stared at them with him.

"Uhm... This looks like Wheeljack and Bulkhead's... armor..." Jack said, confused.

"So they're naked! Big deal, me and my host-sister walked around naked in our room too!" Miko said. She heard them in the room's joint-bedroom. She dragged Jack in with her, and they stared, eyes wide with shock. Then,

"It looks like they're in post robot... sex... bli..." Miko didn't finish. She and Jack screamed.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The two turned tail and ran as fast as they could from the suite, especially once they caught sight of the armor. They ran into the main room.

"What now?" Ratchet moaned as Arcee grew concerned.

"Th-the-they!" Jack couldn't even finish the thought. Miko cried.

"WHY DIDN'T THEY LOCK THE DOOR!"

"Huh?"

"Jack, calm down and tell us what- oh... my..." Arcee never finished, her thoughts trailing off as she stared up at one of the two wreckers on the team.

"I heard screaming... What's wrong...?" Wheeljack asked, looking, and sounding, completely exhausted. Ratchet burst out laughing.

"That is why you two are making such a fuss? Wheeljack and Bulkhead have been together for eons! I am only surprised that they just now interfaced!" The medic found this to be hilarious, though. And quite scarring for the children.

"... Why's Wheeljack naked?" Raf's voice entered the room.

"GO PUT YOUR ARMOR BACK ON!" Arcee finally found her voice, screaming at the wrecker. The wrecker merely shrugged and turned around. He passed Optimus Prime, who looked utterly confused.

"Why was Wheeljack...? Never mind, I don't wish to know." He informed them. Ratchet laughed more.

"Miko and Jack caught him and Bulkhead post-interface session." Jack screamed at the medic about not wanting to remember. He needed something called "eye bleach" to unsee what he did. Arcee knelt down and gently managed to rub the distressed human's back. Miko was more upset over not being told about their relationship, rather than having caught the two like that.

Wheeljack entered his boyfriend's suite, finding Bulkhead in full armor now. The larger wrecker stared at him in annoyance.

"Wheeljack, I sent you out there to see what was going, assuming you'd put your armor back on." He said. Wheeljack shrugged and headed for the bedroom. Bulkhead let out a chuckle. "If they were sent to get us, then you're going to have to put your armor on and come with me."

"Tell Ratset I'll see'm later... It's probably about a maintenance check..." Wheeljack said, using his youngling-hood nickname for the medic. Bulkhead chuckled again, walking into the bedroom, only to find Wheeljack curled up under the thermo-blanket. He shook his head and walked over to him. He leaned down and nuzzled the mech where his "ear-fin" met his helm. Wheeljack let out a purr.

"You need to get up sometime today, Wheeljack..." He said softly.

"Mm..." Wheeljack replied, "Later..."

"Alright, but if it's Ratchet pulling you out of here, don't blame me." Bulkhead chuckled, getting up and heading for the door.

"Bulkhead." Wheeljack's call of his name stopped him.

"Yeah?" He asked.

"... Asaiya(1)..." The smaller mech said softly as he fell back into recharge. Bulkhead smiled.

"Asaiya, Jackie..." He left the room, and entered the main room of the base. He was met with amused looks, a disturbed Jack, an upset Miko and a confused Raf.

"What?" He asked.

"Why didn't you tell me about Wheeljack being your boyfriend!" Miko whined. Bulkhead stuttered on his answer.

"W-well, i-it w-wasn't-"

"You thought the humans wouldn't take it well." Arcee said, "It's understandable, though I'm sure the humans think it's insulting."

"Wait, Wheeljack really is your boyfriend!" Raf said, starting to get upset.

"And?"

"And my mom said she doesn't want me to hang around homosexuals! I got mad at her, and I yelled at her, and I ran off. She called you and Wheeljack a really mean name." Raf's eyes watered. Bumblebee let out a low, sad noise. Ratchet frowned.

"She called them fags, didn't she?" He asked.

"Ratchet!" Jack and Miko gasped.

"Fags? What are fags?" Arcee asked, confused.

"Cliffjumper told me what they were, before he offlined. Someone had called his alt mode a "fag ride", I believe. He googled it. It is the human equivalent of..." Ratchet frowned. He hated this word.

"It's our staduyaks, isn't it?" Arcee asked. Ratchet and Bulkhead visibly recoiled from her casual way of saying the word, but Ratchet nodded in acknowledgment.

"Do you think we're awful, just because we have same gender relations? Raf, our species has very few females, and the males adapted to carry sparklings, to carry on our race." Arcee said.

"What's a sparkling?" Jack asked.

"It's our offspring. We reproduce much like you humans do. However, since there are very few females, many of our males have adapted and evolved to carry the sparklings like the females." Optimus said.

"Really!" The kids looked amazed.

"Wheeljack's one." Bulkhead nodded.

"You better have used protection! If I end up with a sparked brother, I'm killing you!" Ratchet shotued at the wrecker.

"And you realize that Wheeljack will be saying the same thing to your bonded, once he gets here." The Prime said. Ratchet recoiled instantly from his lecture on Bulkhead.

"Ratchet's got a bonded?" Bulkhead asked. Arcee and Bumblebee looked shocked.

"What's a bonded?" Raf asked.

"You all know what Sparks are, correct?" Ratchet asked, embarrassed on the others now knowing he had a bonded.

"Yeah, Arcee told us." Miko said.

"Our marriages are called bonds. Our sparks connect with another mech's, or femme's, and creates a connection very powerful. We can communicate through our bond, as if we were standing right next to them, talking to them out loud, face to face. Bonds are only for those who wish to mate for life, there is no getting out of a bond. Once you are bonded, you are bonded forever. It is a sad thing when a bond is used against a couple, even worse when a mech is forced into a bonding." Arcee explained, "It is very rare for any Cybertronian to bond, no matter the circumstances."

"So... Ratchet's got a bonded...?" Raf asked, "And is like Wheeljack? He can have sparklings?"

"Yes. I do have one, and I can carry." Ratchet said stiffly, no doubt embarrassed that the conversation turned to him.

"Ironhide better get here soon, I want a nephew to spoil." Wheeljack's voice came from the entrance-way. They looked over at him, and Miko grinned.

"Can you guys imagine it? A pregnant Ratchet!"

"I am not having his sparkling! If he wants one so bad, we're getting a surrogate! I already made that clear to him!"

"Awww... But it's nothing like carrying the sparkling, Ratch'. And while we can reproduce like humans, it's technically not the same." Wheeljack told the kids, "When two sparks combine, they have a high chance of creating new life. That's the most common way of making a sparkling. And the most popular among bonded mechs."

"There are more ways to get pregnant?" Raf asked, amazed.

"There's also normal interfacing."

"Sex." Ratchet clarified for the humans, "What Jack and Miko just barely missed seeing."

"DAMNIT STOP REMINDING ME!" Jack shouted.

"Stop being a baby." Miko giggled, "So, you have the possibility of being pregnant?" She asked Wheeljack.

"Nah, I made sure my spark-control programming was up." Wheeljack replied.

"Those aren't one-hundred percent effective Wheeljack. You know that." Ratchet frowned, concerned.

"We'll find out. I've never interfaced with anybody but... him... before, and we wanted sparklings, so it's not like I needed to use it before." Wheeljack shrugged.

"Who?" Jack and Raf asked.

"Did you cheat on Bulkhead!" Miko gasped.

"No! This was long before Bulkhead even came into my life, thank you!" Wheeljack snapped.

"Calm down, Wheeljack. Perceptor wouldn't want you to take your anger with him out on human children." Ratchet said. Wheeljack looked away, ticked.

"Perceptor? You were friends with Perceptor?" Optimus asked, shocked.

"No, not just friends. Wheeljack and Perceptor were bonded." Ratchet said. The kids had so many questions.

"I used to be an engineer; an awful one at that."

"You were amazing, when the inventions worked at least." Ratchet said.

"Perceptor offlined when we were creating the Protectobots." Wheeljack said, optics filling with optical fluids.

"Mom says talking about it will help ease the pain." Jack said softly.

"A decepticon attacked the base, and caught them off guard." Ratchet told them.

"I... I can't do this..." Wheeljack fled the room. Bulkhead quickly ran after him. "Perceptor had locked Wheeljack in the lab with the Protectobots. All I remember from that day is running to the lab, finding Perceptor with a hole where his spark should be." It was dead silent.

"That's how he offlined?" Arcee asked.

"You knew him?" Jack asked.

"Perceptor was my guardian when I was a changeling." Arcee said, "He was, in a sense, my brother."

"Yes. I thought you knew, that's why I never said anything." Ratchet said, "You should have asked; you deserved to know."

"... How about we change the subject? This is depressing." Miko said, "How about you tell us about Wheeljack's inventions? And the Protectobots!" It was a pathetic attempt, but it changed the subject.

Miko'd ask Wheeljack about Ironhide later.

Asaiya- I love you in my pathetic attempt of making Cybertronian words.

Staduyaks- I honestly hate the word Fa—ots. I really do. I'm in a house where my brother uses it just about all the time when he's playing videogames, along with N—ger. So, for this, I shall make Cybertronian equivalents, when they are explaining things, etc. Besides, the 'cons will be using them, no doubt.