Disclaimer: In no way do I own Scandinavia and the World or Hetalia-Axis Powers.
Genre change to Humor/Hurt/Comfort, though the Hurt/Comfort part won't be appearing in this chapter.

Human names used (or mentioned) by Hetalia nations:

Matthias Køhler (non-canon)– Denmark
Berwald Oxenstjärna– Sweden
Arthur Kirkland– the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, England
Ludwig– Germany
Roderich Edelstein– Austria

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Finally, a special thanks to fujikawaii10346 for being my beta! I can't begin to describe just how grateful I am!

I'm Denmark! Just Not from Around Here

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Universe: Scandinavia and the World

[Hetalia Denmark's POV]

The sun was setting in the Scandinavian lands, and after Parallel-girl Denmark left for wherever (she had said she was going to find Norway, which apparently wasn't the smiling one that was already here), the remaining males went sauntering and chatting into the kitchen to make some much-needed dinner.

Off to the side, Parallel-Norway was scaling the fish he bought and Parallel-Sweden was making his weird inside-out sandwich-cake, smörgåstårta. It was good to know that the nations from here weren't immune to hunger either, Matthias thought as he prepare veal for making frikadeller.

It wasn't until Parallel-Norway started boiling potatoes did Matthias feel eyes on him–and when he turned, he saw Parallel-Sweden staring right at him.

"Why are you staring at me?" Matthias immediately asked, making the Swede choke and splutter.

"I am not staring!"

"But you sure are looking at me," Matthias smirked. "I know I'm good looking and all but I didn't realize you're into this kind of thing."

"W-What!"

Matthias' smirk grew wider. Could it be? It wouldn't harm for a little teasing.

The Dane put down his cooking device and timed the moment just right so that when the shorter man looked away, Denmark grabbed him by the shoulder and turned him suddenly so Matthias could lean down (still needed some getting use to, what with Sweden for once being the smaller) to give him a kiss on the cheek.

That resulted in the next ten minutes of Parallel-Sweden's–flustered and humiliated–staring, Parallel-Norway amused and hiding a smile behind his hands...and Matthias blatantly laughing his ass off.

"What did you do that for!"

"Admit it, you enjoy it."

"I am not gay!"

"I never said you were."

"You–" Parallel-Sweden fumed, narrowing his eyes and seemed to stare harder.

That's when it hit. It was so funny...no–hilarious, that Matthias was immediately struck with a renew wave of laughter. But this time though, he knew how impolite it was since the other was–now that he saw it–so obviously trying.

Sadly, the Dane ultimately failed in suppressing his laughter.

"Can you shut up?"

"No seriously," Matthias asked after he managed to catch his breath, "were you actually trying to glare at me all along?" (He was just too used to having a Swede with a permanent death glare on his face that he didn't even consider this Parallel-counterpart's glare a real one.)

Now, Parallel-Sweden was pulling a stare that was closer to Berwald's usual look. But before Matthias could make any more comment on it, a plate of the Swedish inside-out sandwich-cakes met his face.

Soon it escalated into a full-blown food fight with singed meatball and half-cooked fish flying. But hey! Everyone was laughing and nobody seemed to mind eating off the counter...and each other.

Add in fresh beer and everything seemed to be perfect.

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Universe: Hetalia

[SatW Denmark's POV]

A loud CLANG sounded when a plate of schweinebraten was set before him, and Denmark cringed from the glare not-Nazi Germany was directing at him.

There's no doubt that the German(ic) man was still irate under his composed façade, especially making it very clear after kicking everyone out and start waging a loud war in the kitchen. It was a wonder he managed to make any dish at all–even more so since said dish seemed to almost be able to rival French cuisines.

"Um...thanks."

A soft murmur of gratitude, but the Dane was practically ignored.

And nobody said a word after that with the only noise being the not-Austria with a hostile air smashing his boiled potato into mush and the occasional slurping of beer as both not-Germany and not-Austria being dead-set on becoming drunk.

To Denmark, the tension was suffocating.

It wasn't until near the end of the dinner did they hear the sound of the front door opening and the tipsy not-Austria immediately went to greet his supposed brother (knocking his own chair over along the way and earning himself a disproving glare from the dark-haired patrician).

Not-Germany was now leaning onto not-Nazi Germany in his intoxicated state, arms slung over his shoulders, faced flushed and breathing deep into the other man's neck. Denmark couldn't help but wince at the sight because (not-)Germany and (not-)Nazi Germany getting along meant BAD THINGS. And though he did try telling himself they weren't who he think they were, he couldn't get his internal alarm to stop ringing.

The not-Netherlands was taking out his pipe when the trio (one drunken, two sober) made it into the dining room.

"I'm Arthur Kirkland, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland." The new blond (with unsettlingly bushy eyebrows) introduced upon seeing the unfamiliar face, holding out a hand. "Or you can simply call me England."

"Denmark." Denmark answered, shaking the offered hand as not-England (so much younger than expected it felt surreal!) took the only remaining seat beside him–which previously belonged to not-Austria.

"Germany has informed me of your current situation on my way here–"

"Oi princess, you making a show of gentleman to our guest?"

Not-Austria cackled, garnet eyes gleaming in a mischievously dangerous way as he leaned over the table.

"Bruder." The sober not-Austria frowned warningly ("Bloody git." Not-England murmured under his breath), before turning to face the rest of the table. "Why are you all here anyway?"

"I came to deposit this pathetic excuse you call brother." Not-Nazi Germany answered with dignity, glaring at the standing red-eyed not-Austria with a hint of disdain. "I can only bear this dullard for so long, Ludwig."

"Keep telling yourself that, priss." Not-Austria returned with a mocking glare.

"Roderich's here so why shouldn't I be?" Not-Germany said, draining another bottle of beer. "Better than that Saupreißen."

"Pfft, you're just jealous of how awesome I am."

The blue-eyed not-Austria faceplamed, "That's enough!" He shouted raising his voice slightly while rubbing his brows. "I'm sure the Netherlands has already told you the current problem our guest brings us, and I'm planning on solving it as soon should more problems arise."

Denmark gulped when he felt all eyes fall on him.

"I don't think it's much of a problem..." The albino snickered, fingering a sharp utensil on the table. "You can't miss someone you don't know."

"Gentle as always." Not-Nazi Germany huffed, voice dripping with sarcasm and making Denmark shudder.

"I could try sending him back by opening a gateway to wherever he's from," the too-young Brit said after a thought. "The only bloody problem would be how in hell do we open a gateway on the other side?"

Another long silence that was accompanied by suffocating tension...

Until it was broken by a soft cough from Denmark (who was fidgeting uneasily in his chair).

"Um...I don't think that would be a problem."

Not-England shot him a suspicious look. "What?"

"Well, there're always weird things coming out of Hekla near Iceland." Denmark answered with a bit uncertainty. "It is the gateway to Hell (as far as I know)."

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* Smörgåstårta– http : / / www . acatinthekitchen . com / ?p=317

* Frikadeller– http : / / www . rotary-yep . net / Default . aspx?tabid=363

* Schweinebraten– http : / / farm6 . static . flickr . com / 5190 / 5566834552_4b373483b3 . jpg

Translation:
[German] Saupreißen = pig-Prussian, an offensive Bavarian term for Germans living north of the Main River (regardless of actual Prussian heritage).

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Character Key

Not-Nazi Germany: Hetalia!Austria

Blue-eyed not-Austria: Hetalia!Germany

Red-eyed not-Austria: Hetalia!Prussia

Not-Germany: Hetalia!Bavaria

The not-Netherlands: the Hetalia!Netherlands

Not-England: Hetalia!England