VII. Benjamin Barker's Lullaby

She'd lost him. Again. And this time there was no telling whether or not he'll be able to come back. She'd like to think he would, but such a notion would be nothing but delusion. She'd promised herself before, she'd do anything to avoid anything bad from happening to her family; she promised herself she'd do anything not to lose her dear Ben again, but all because of her he was gone.

All because of her.

Hell, if she hadn't conversed with that stupid Judge Turpin this wouldn't have happened! If only she had listened to the rumors like most people did.

If only she had listened.

She sighed as she looked at her little Rebecca crying in her crib. "Poor child," she thought as she picked up the child and cradled her in her arms. "Looks like it's just going to be you and me, Becca-dear," she said.

As she rocked her daughter gently to sleep she sang for the child, her father's lullaby.

"Remember me when I am gone away
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me, hold me by the hand,
Nor I half-turn to go, yet turning stay."

She would often tease him every time she heard him sing the tune. There were other songs that are a tad more cheerful, she'd always tell him.

"Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me, only remember me;
You understand it will be late to counsel then or pray."

Benjamin Barker's lullaby: a song of loss; of farewell. How ironic. It was as though he'd foreseen his own fate. It would have been laughable too, if it weren't for the current circumstance.

"And if you should forget me for a while,
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that I once had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than remember and be sad."

Nellie sighed as she placed the slumbering child back into her crib. From now on, it's just going to be Rebecca and her. The Judge may have taken Benjamin from her, but she still has her little girl. And as long as she lives, little Rebecca will be protected.

I know this chapter's short, and apologies for the uber-late update. Currently working on the next chapters now that I'm temporarily out of school. I'm hoping I can actually get up to at least the tenth chapter since I discovered two major plot holes in my original plan for this story. Before writing again, I re-read the whole story here and fixed some errors. I added an additional part on chapter four as well, since I thought I felt it was too rushed (took Libitina-Belladona's advice. I hope I did good on this one! *crosses fingers*).

Anyway, I since I've already planned for the next three chapters, I should be able to update again in about a week or two (hopefully less than that, though). See you next chapter, and I hope you enjoyed this brief update.

Oh yes, and before I forget, the song used on this chapter is composed by Donna Gartman-Schultz. The words are from a poem called "Remember" by Christina Rosetti.