Title: Daddy Daycare

Author: Karrissarella

Genre: Family/Humor

Rating: G

Summary: Izaya leaves to go on a business trip for the weekend, leaving Shizuo alone with their three boys – Tsugaru, Psyche, and Hibiya. Request filled for kinkmeme.

Izaya had already put his suitcase by the door, and pulled his parka off his computer chair, throwing it on. He logged off his computer, carrying Hibiya on his hip. He hummed to himself, walking out of his office space, about to set Hibiya down, before sniffing the air and making a face. He turned to Hibiya, "did you go poop?"

Hibiya, 2 years old. Thinks he's a prince and is very high maintenance. "The spoiled baby."

Hibiya looked up at his mother with wide eyes, "princes don't poop!" He argued. This had been a phase the youngest Orihara was going through. He was convinced he was part of royalty and Izaya wasn't exactly helping to solve the problem, but more influencing it. He reached over and pulled on Hibiya's pants. He was clean, alright.

However, Psyche was just learning to potty train and had been having accidents left and right. "Psyche!" He called, walking down the hallway. "Did you have an accident?"

Psyche, 3 years old. The liveliest of the boys, enjoys singing and dancing, currently being potty-trained. "The dreaded middle child."

"...NO!" Psyche called from the downstairs bathroom. Psyche looked at his soiled pull-up that was on the ground, trying to think of a way to dispose it. He reached down and tried to pick the heavy diaper up with two fingers, his other hand plugging his nose. "Ew, ew, ew, ew." He muttered to himself, trying to make his way to the bathroom wastebasket.

"Are you lying?" Izaya asked, standing outside the bathroom door, listening to the shuffling feet and smelling the raunchy scent. Silence filled the apartment for a while. "Psyche?"

"...Yes." Psyche finally answered.

"What did Mommy say about what happen to liars, Psyche-chan~?" Izaya asked through the door, shifting Hibiya to his other hip.

"They go to Hell and they don't ever see their mommys or daddys again..." He answered.

"Come out here, Psyche." Izaya said, watching the door slowly open, revealing a pants-less Psyche, the only thing covering him was his long pink fur-trimmed coat. Izaya kneeled down to his son, looking over at him. "What did I say about going potty in your pants?"

Psyche frowned, averting his gaze from his mother's red eyes. "...Not to do it." he said, hanging his head. Izaya sighed, "wipe yourself, get a clean pull-up on and wash your hands, Psyche." He said, before standing up. He frowned, seeing his son still standing there. "You better hurry before Daddy comes home and I have to tell him you pooped your pants, Psyche-chan."

Psyche's pink eyes widen in fear, rushing back into the bathroom. Izaya sighed tiredly, threatening the 'I'll get Daddy' response was very cliché and Shizuo's punishment (spanking) was very inhuman (but what do you expect coming from a monster?), but it was effective. All he had to do was threaten the action, and he usually watched his kids scramble to what they were supposed to be doing.

And as if on cue, Izaya heard the door open, seeing Shizuo stand in the doorway with Tsugaru in hand. Izaya beamed and moved over to the door, leaning down to his oldest son.

Tsugaru, 5 years old. Tends to keep to himself, enjoys reading. Psyche often instigates their fights for attention. The "Golden Child."

"Tsu-chan! How was kindergarten today~?" Izaya asked, grinning down at the blonde. He watched the boy shrug.

"Fine," Tsugaru muttered before he slid his shoes off at the door and hung his backpack up after pulling out a book. He moved over to the kitchen, and pulled out a glass of milk, crawling his way up to the stool, opening his book.

Izaya turned to his partner after checking the clock quickly. "Okay. I left a list of emergency contacts on the refridgerator and a list of reminders for you with the kids, such as homework, when to feed Hibi-chan, and how to deal with Psyche-chan while I'm gone for the weekend~" He said, handing Hibiya over to the older blonde.

"Since I don't really trust you alone with our children, even if you are their father – someone should be coming to help you each day with them." He explained, and watched Shizuo frown – already knowing what he was thinking.

"Kida-kun is coming over after school on Friday." Izaya started, and he watched Shizuo's frown turn into a bit of a scowl.

"That kid will turn our kids into some sort of sick pimps." Shizuo stated, and he heard Izaya sigh. "Kida is harmless, Shizu-chan."

Shizuo growled at the statement and nickname. "Who else?" He said through clenched teeth.

"Celty is coming on Saturday, and Tom is coming on Sunday, right?" Izaya turned to confirm with the bodyguard who gave a nod.

"Izaya. You ready? Let's go, the taxi is waiting." A voice came from the doorway, revealing an elder man with a few lines and scars lying on his face.

"Okay, Shiki-san! Just let me say goodbye to the little ones~" he said, looking down at Hibiya. "Can you give Mommy a kiss, Hibi-chan?" He asked, and Hibiya puckered his lips together, reaching over to kiss his mother.

"Psyche-chan~ Mommy is leaving! Come say goodbye~" Izaya sang and Psyche came out with his coat and pull-up on, still with no pants. Psyche grinned happily, running over to the informant, throwing his arms around his mother. "I love you, I love you, I love you~!" Psyche sang.

Izaya chuckled softly and blew a raspberry on Psyche's cheek. "I love you too, Psyche-chan~" He said, while the lively boy emitted into a giggle fit from the raspberry.

Izaya moved over to his oldest son, kissing Tsugaru on the cheek quickly which earned a groan. "Mooomm," the blonde whined.

"Bye Tsu-chan~ Bye everyone~ I'll see you all later~" he cooed, before quickly reaching up and placing a kiss on Shizuo's lips.

"Izaya..." Shiki replied impatiently.

"Coming!" Izaya said, grabbing his suitcase and closed the apartment door behind him.

–

"When is Mommy coming back?" Psyche asked, looking up at his father with big pink eyes.

"In a few days." Shizuo replied simply.

"When is that?" Psyche asked.

Shizuo blinked, "in a few days." He repeated.

"Is in a few days tomorrow?"

Shizuo sighed, "No, Psyche. It's when Tsugaru goes back to school."

"Is it tomorrow?"

"Psyche, no. It's in a few days." He said slowly, trying not to lose his patience with his children already. "We'll have fun," Shizuo reassured his sons, ruffling Psyche's hair.

Psyche pouted, "How can we have fun if Mommy isn't here?"

"I'm fun," Shizuo argued.

"So, you'll do the things Mommy does?" Psyche grinned mischeviously.

Shizuo didn't like that look he was getting from Psyche, "what does Mommy do?" He asked cautiously.

"He sings and does kareoke with me! All of the songs!" Psyche beamed over at the video game console which held numerous video games of Sing Star that the two had purchased for the boy over birthdays and Christmas' with the two microphones sitting next to the console.

"Dada, will you play Prince with me?" Hibiya asked, looking up at Shizuo with those pleading golden eyes. Shizuo pursed his lips, he was afraid to ask, "What is 'Prince'?"

"Dada lets me be a prince!" That didn't sound too horrible. "And sometimes he plays my servant! And he does what I tell him to!" That didn't sound good. "And, he sometimes also plays as the...the...jes-jest..jeeest," Hibiya frowned, his face wrinkling in thought, not remembering. "He makes funny faces for me!"

"a Jester?" Shizuo asked cautiously and watched Hibiya beam. Great.

–

Shizuo was grateful he'd have help over the weekend, but tonight he had to do it on his own – and the kids still hadn't had supper and he still had to face bedtime. Usually, when this time rolled around – he was still out on the job with Tom and Izaya would tuck them into bed. He knew how hellish it was to get Psyche and Hibiya to bed though.

"Okay, well, since Mommy isn't here. Who wants to order a pizza?" Shizuo asked the three small boys. He smiled proudly to himself when he heard the chorus of cheers. He reached into the pocket and dialed a pizzeria. Izaya never let them have pizza – something about having pizza was unhealthy and not right for growing boys. Shizuo scoffed at his partner's opinions, but he didn't have much choice to the supper matter when he was usually at work.

He moved over to the fridge while he was ordering the pizza and looked over at the list that Izaya had left on the door.

Shizu-chan~

Chores:

Dishes

Laundry

Kids:

Tsu-chan~:

- Help with homework.

Psyche:

Make sure he goes potty. He will tell you he doesn't have to go. MAKE HIM GO.

When Psyche throws a fit – and doesn't listen – his Sing Star will be confiscated. If he's still acting out – put him in time out until he's ready to start listening again. (Unless your brute ways think spanking him will help the situation.)

BATH NIGHT (Thurs)

Hibi-chan:

His supper is in the fridge~

Put fresh milk in his sippy cup.

DO NOT GIVE HIM HIS BINKY. He's weening off of it.

Check for dirty diapers after his naptime/morning and every few hours after he eats.

BATH NIGHT (Thurs)

Shizuo sighed heavily. Did that flea really expect him to get all this done, while playing and taking care of the kids while he was gone for the weekend? And that list was just for tonight and tomorrow. He flipped up the first paper to see another long list under it with the weekend duties. He frowned at it. He knew Izaya hated sitting around so he would always fill his day with menial tasks ever since he had to tone down his work to just his office and computer. It was rare when Shiki or any other affiliation the flea was with would ask to come on the business trip.

He rose an eyebrow seeing the last thing on the long list of chores for him.

NO PIZZA!

Shizuo snorted and ripped the list down, folding it in half and putting it in his pants pocket. He blinked, hearing the loud console of the Wii turn on. He whipped around to find Psyche already blaring the speakers and singing.

"Psyche!" He frowned, narrowing his eyes at the raven-haired boy. "Do you know what time it is?" He asked, as he moved over to the living room and turning down the volume. He reached down and grabbed the microphone away from Psyche as the music started.

Psyche's pink orbs seem to widen in shock, "Daddy! You're going to mess up my score!" He jutted out his bottom lip.

"Too bad. It's too late for you to be playing video games." He said, reaching over and pushing the off button.

"DAAADYYYYYY," Psyche whined, reaching up to rub his eyes.

Shizuo frowned, kneeling down in front of Psyche. "Quit it. Those crocodile tears may work on your mother, but they don't work on me." He told his son sternly, "Put your tears away. It is not the end of the world, Psyche." He said, setting the microphone back where it was.

He grabbed Psyche by the hand who was still pathetically sniffling to get his way and walked back into the kitchen. He frowned, not seeing Hibiya anywhere. He turned to his oldest, "Tsugaru. Where's Hibiya?" He said, watching Tsugaru point upstairs.

Shizuo frowned, "Tsugaru. You know he isn't allowed up there. Why didn't you stop him?"

Tsugaru shrugged, "I did."

"So why didn't you stop him when he wasn't listening to you?" Shizuo asked.

"Mom says I can't hold Hibi-chan by myself." the young blonde answered and went back to reading his book at the counter.

Shizuo sighed tiredly, and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. Was it too early to get migraines in your late twenties?

He picked Psyche up in his arms when he heard a crash come from upstairs, rushing up the stairs. "Hibi-chan?" He called for his youngest. He moved into his bedroom, finding Hibiya on the floor, with Izaya's items knocked onto the floor from their night table next to the bed.

"Hibiya!" Shizuo scolded and Hibiya only looked up at him innocently. Figures. Izaya never disciplined the baby of the family. It was the same way with Psyche when he was the baby.

"Hibiya, you know you are not supposed to be in here. Why didn't you listen to Tsugaru when he told you not to go up here, huh?" Shizuo asked as patiently as he could. He waited for Hibiya's answer before he saw him rummaging through a blue case full of white pills.

Shizuo's brown eyes went wide as he realized what they were and snatched the packet away from the child.

"I want candy!" Psyche said, reaching out for the blue packet. Shizuo quickly pulled the packet away from the pink-eyed boy. "This is not candy, Psyche. It's for Mommy." He said, frowning as he opened the drawer to the nightstand and shoving it in there, closing it. "Do. Not. Go. In. Here." He told the boys, looking from Psyche to Hibiya. "Do you two understand?"

Psyche and Hibiya both nodded, and the doorbell rang.

"Oh thank God," Shizuo muttered, reaching down to pick Hibiya up in his other arm before making his way downstairs to answer the door.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Enjoy! :D