Summary: Jane and Maura's story, read from a diary written by Maura. It's the story of their life, their love, about all the bumps and bruises life had held for them, and all the love in their life. Until the very End.

Disclaimer - Yes, Rizolli and Isles still belong to TNT and Tess Gerritsen, but Maura is on my Eastern wishlist, so ...

Comments are love :)

Chapter 1 of 8

Till the end of the Line.

Movie night

At every end, somebody else has to care for things. There are funerals to organize, houses to sell, and grieving that has to be done. When the redhead opened the door, dust danced in the sunlight. She hesitated for a moment, hesitated to enter the place that she called home. She remembered the smell, remembered laughter, and so much love. She took a deep breathe and stepped inside. She opened a few windows, to let the soft summer breeze refresh the air.

On her way upstairs, she passed a wall with pictures, walked along doors she didn't open until she reached her target. The room was stuffed with bookshelves; sun fell through the big window. She let her hand run along the leather of the old, much used, and adored couch. She looked around, until she spotted what she was looking for. She stretched out to reach the box.

"Marlin", she heard a shout, and almost knocked a bunch of books from the shelf.

"I'm up here", Marlin gave back.

A pair of feet was running up the stairs, and it sounded like it always did. It made Marlin smile, this old, familiar sound, and her smile grew even wider when her twin sister showing up in the door. "Hi, Gracie."

Grace flashed her a smile and hugged her sister. "Hey there. I'm sorry I'm late. I couldn't get off work. Some case came in late." She stroked her black hair behind her ears. "But I brought food."

"Good. I already found Mom's diaries."

Grace looked down on the box. "Okay. Good job, I guess. I… this is a bit weird."

"I know", Marlin admitted. "This is their life; their whole life, somehow."

"Are you sure we should read that?"

"She always told us a bit, but… I need more, Gracie. I need to know all. I think we agreed."

"Yes, we did." The sister plopped down on the couch, stretched into the sunlight and purred like a cat when the warm light touched her bare legs.

Marlin sat at the other end of the couch, placed the books in the middle. She flipped through them, to find the first. Her hand shook a bit when she opened it and saw her mother's clean, clear but feminine handwriting.

"Dear Jane,

The day you shot yourself to shoot a murderer… I remember when I ran out of the building, and I saw you falling to the ground. I couldn't reach you until your body hit the cold street. I wanted to hold you in my arms, though I knew I needed to care for your wounds first. You hurt yourself to kill the man that almost killed us, this dangerous person. I always feared that you would give your life for one of us, and you almost did.

You couldn't remember how we rushed you to a hospital, how they operated on you hours to save your life. You made it; you have always been a fighter. But you were hurt, and it took a long time to heal – mainly because you never listened and didn't take things slow. Well, what did I expect? You never listened.

We spend so much time to get you back on track. Somehow, we didn't part those days, did we? I couldn't leave you, I was scared something could happen to you again, and you just liked me being around.

That night, months after your injury, we had a beer together. It was your first beer after all that time. The first day off pain killers and we had to celebrate that with a beer. A wine would have been the better choice, but it was your occasion, so I even ordered the Pizza you wished for. I never understood your love for bitter beer and oily food.

We sat on your porch, saw the sun go down, ate and talked about the whole wide world. That's one thing I still love the most – how we can get lost in conversations. When it got cooler, we went inside and you chose a movie. I don't remember which, but I remember us laughing.

And when you looked at me, a wide smile on your pretty face, and that amazing sparkle in your beautiful eyes, my heart beat faster, as it always did, for you. I don't know what I was thinking. Well, Jane, sometimes even I don't think. I bend over and pressed my lips on yours. I felt you freezing, I think you even stopped breathing for a second, and I pulled back. You stared at me in disbelieve. It scared me, and I backed off, jumped of that couch and wanted to leave the house, but before I could leave the door you grabbed my arm.

You turned me around and looked at me, scanning every inch of my face, without saying a word for a long while. I didn't move. And then, I felt your thumb drawing circles on my arm. I don't know if you realized that. I could tell a million thoughts were running through your head, your breath was sharp, your whole body tensing. Finally, you looked at my arm. Slowly, so slowly, your hand released its strong grip and softly stroke over my skin.

"Jane", I whispered, and your eyes found mine again.

And you bend forward, laughing, a short, unsure sound covered by our lips touching again. A warm fire spread over my stomach, a chemical reaction of my brain. Your hand pulled me closer, your body needed to touch mine. We melt together, arms wrapped around each other, lips never leaving the others, tongues dancing. A little moan must have escaped my mouth.

You pulled back, nearly let me stumble under the loss of contact. You made physical distance, but I don't think your mind ever was shutting me out as much as it did this very second. I could tell you were scared. This sudden cold between us made me fear I did something stupid. Did kissing you destroy our friendship? Did I easily risk our well established work relationship? I could have slapped myself. Never cross the line, Maura. Do not mix love and work, how could I forget what my parents told me so many times before.

You seemed to lose all your colour, your sparkle was gone. I couldn't stand to look at you any more, couldn't stand you could possibly seeing the tears forming in my eyes. I grabbed my purse, and this time you didn't hold me back.

I drove home, ran into my apartment, and breathe again when I leaned at the door from the inside. I felt my heart cramping, so did my stomach, and the tears started to fall. What did I do? What did you do? You kissed me back, and then nearly kicked me out. I sat there, on the floor of my hallway, maybe for an hour or two, lost in thoughts.

Bass came over, hungry. I carried him to the kitchen, cut veggies and watched him chewing them. I was cold and went for a hot shower. When the water was running over my back, I could feel your lips on mine, again. Jane, you kissed me back. I knew I had feelings for you for a while now, and even when I always thought how you must be thinking about… what, gay? Women loving women? I never expected you to react like this. It made me laugh, there, under the water.

What didn't I expect? You, kissing me back? Or you, shutting me out after it?

Sleep wouldn't come this night, and I feared the morning.

I brought coffee as usual, but you weren't at your desk. The guys mumbled something about you working out, and they didn't sound like they wouldn't want to get near you anytime soon, so I assumed you were loaded with anger. I didn't check on you, I had a lot work to do, and went to the morgue."

"I can imagine Ma being surprised and backing off like that", Grace commented. "It must have caught her in surprise."

Marlin looked at her sister. "Do you think she never realized what was going on between them? Mom always said they were close, hang out a lot, slept over… I don't think she was as emotional as Mom, but even Ma could read people…"

"Maybe she was confused. I don't know. I think I can understand how your best friend and co-worker kissing you – kinda out of the blue – can catch you in surprise, whether you may know somewhere in the back of your head there are more things going on then a so-called normal friendship." Grace shrugged her shoulders. "If you don't continue, we won't know what happened next."

"You were the one interrupting."

"Oh, don't give me that, Marlin. Read."

Marlin flipped the page and continued.

"I didn't see you that day or the next. We haven't had a special case, so I didn't have to get upstairs and could work on the other bodies. Being in my lab always let me be much more comfortable than being upstairs. I like the silences, and the story a body can tell about a life.

We ran into each other the third night when I was about to go home. It was late, almost midnight; I had forgotten about time while working, and was surprised to meet you at the door. You held it open and allowed me to leave first. We walked down the stairs, each turning to our cars. I was trying to unlock my car – key battery must have been empty, again, proving you right with "those damn expensive cars should at least come with an extra set of batteries if the damn thing is empty every month…" You approached, and cleared your throat. I saw you looking at the ground while you offered me a ride home.

We kept quiet in the car. It made me think we might be silent for the rest of our lives – which, Jane, is hilarious. You could never be quiet for so long, technically no human being could exist without any interaction. It's how we work. Interacting, bonding, and pairing; recreating our race.

You parked in front of my building, and I thanked you. At least I can be polite. I went upstairs, to be honest, I was sad, but then the doorbell rang. I opened, and a short moment later found you at my front door.

"You should always check, I could have been a murderer."

"Do you hate me so much already you want to end my life?"

"No", you snapped.

"See", I said, "then I think I am safe."

I let you in, and that awkward filled the room. It took you a while to look up. I don't know if you thought about what to say, if you had planned this. "Listen, Maura", you said, "I am sorry for not showing up downstairs in the morgue. You know I feel uncomfortable around the dead." I was about to interrupt you. You were uncomfortable around me as well, weren't you? But you continued talking. "I… the other night, when we… kissed… I don't know what happened. Well, I know – we kissed. I didn't handle the situation very well. We work together, and this is conflicting with the work situation, which it shouldn't. You are the best partner I could ever have there." And my heart almost broke. "But… I… I… we… I…", you murmured. "I liked kissing you", you finally managed to say, almost knocking me off my feet right away.

You liked kissing me. I wanted to hug you. "You liked it?"

It made you look up. "Didn't you feel it? The… sparks between us? I never felt like that with anybody else. Its like you are made for me."

"That's just a chemical reaction of our human needs."

Then, you raised your eyebrow. I love when you do that. "So you kissed me for a chemical reaction, just to proof some medical statement, and it wasn't because you maybe like me and like kissing me?"

"How could I've possibly known I would like kissing you before kissing you? I can't tell the future."

"Mau…"

It was my turn to admit. Suddenly, my tongue was twisted, words didn't want to leave my mouth and let it feel dry. I swallowed, twice. I enjoyed kissing you. More than that. I saw you on that couch, heard your laugh, felt it giving me Goosebumps again, and I just had to kiss you. I wanted to kiss you for a while, wondered how you taste, and wondered if we would click. The consequences of kissing a partner never crossed my mind, oh my. I guess… how would you say? I guess; I had a thing for you, Jane Rizzoli."