Title: First Time

Word count: Last time I checked; about 1968 words.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters and I write completely for fun and not for profit!

Beta: Thank you to youngjusticefanatic, as always you are amazing! No matter what I throw at you, you always help!
And thanks to KTrevo for some help in between!

Summary: It was the first time - for the most of the team - that they have ever lost a civilian during mission. Robin is the only one who has the experience, who knows how to cope. You have to learn how to manage or you will be dragged down by the guilt.

Authors Note: So Hey guys... here is the deal. I rewrote chapter one and I am more than half way though chapter two! I hope you have it done in the next few weeks. But no promises because I have a big rush of things in the next two weeks. But I plan on making time!

I hope you guys enjoy! :D

Batman waited as the ship landed in silence. The only sound was the distant hiss of the bay doors closing. It only took a few seconds for the ship door to fall open and the first member of the team exited. Artemis fled down the ramp - head ducked and chin resting against her chest - racing towards the door. The quiver on her back was almost empty except for three loose arrows and her bow slung around her shoulder. The archer ignored Batman's presence and disappeared from view down the hall.

Aqualad staggered out behind the blond. The leader met the Dark Knight's gaze and held it for a few seconds before ducking away. Kaldur stepped to the side to allow his teammates to pass, the teen's shoulders hung as if the weight of the world were upon them.

Superboy emerged through the doorway of the ship. At first glance, the teen was practically radiating frustration. Superboy avoided Batman's gaze but the senior hero could, see the slight changes from his normal angry face. There was a scrunch of the nose, and slight glisten to the eyes, and Batman knew there was more than meets the eye. Superboy stomped to Aqulad's side, but Kaldur signaled the clone to leave with a small nod. Connor waited for a moment before nodding back and stiffly walking out of the room.

Wally slipped out after the clone; the usually hyperactive teen dragged his feet across the floor and kept his head down. There were no joking remarks, and his usual smile was gone, there was just watery eyes glued to his feet. The teen shuffled his way out of the room and down the hall at a surprisingly slow pace.

Megan floated off the ship, hanging low to the ground, her feet almost dragging across the floor. Her face was contorted in sadness and her eyes were glossy with unshed tears. The Martian looked up at Batman with teary eyes, before flying out of the room leaving the sound of choked sobs in her wake. The sound fading as she fled down the hall.

Robin was at the end of the line and took his time exiting the ship. The Boy Wonder's steel-toed boots hit the floor with a small thud and the ships door closed almost instantly behind him. The silence was heavy as it fell on the three heroes. Robin cast a glance between Aqualad and Batman, his face blank. The youngest hero refused to leave until signaled by Batman, and crossed his arms over his chest – ready to wait.

Seconds turned to minutes and time passed slowly. Robin was used to Batman's waiting game; Kaldur on the other hand began to fidget. "We messed up." Aqualad began, forcing himself to make eye contact with Batman.

The senior hero's expression remained the same, waiting for the teen to continue.

"We lost one of the hostages." Kaldur muttered. Unable to hold Batman's gaze any longer the teen ducked his head, his gaze locking on a small stain on the cement floor.

Batman frowned at the team leader, the action barely noticeable to the untrained eye. "You may go Aqualad." Batman announced, signaling to the door.

The team's leader nodded in return and turned towards the exit. Kaldur followed his friends, pausing for a moment at the doorway, hand resting on the metal frame. His mouth open and closed for a moment, before his hand fell to his side and Aqualad disappeared though the exit.

A few seconds passed before Batman turned his gaze towards his partner. Eyes burned though the teen's forehead, waiting for the younger hero to speak.

"I think they're in shock." Robin muttered, shifting from foot to foot before meeting his father's gaze.

"And you?" Batman asked, voice a low grumble.

Robin shrugged, turning his back towards he mentor. "I don't know..." He trailed off with another shrug, "I think it's the first time any of them have lost a civilian." The brunette stretched his arms in the air and rolled his shoulders. "Probably the first time for most of them has had to watch someone die." He added, as an afterthought.

Batman remained quiet, watching his ward with calculating eyes. Bruce mentally shook himself and reminded himself that Dick was only thirteen. Robin looked to old, past thirteen years, and in many ways, he was. His skills, both physical and mental, his experiences both on and off the field, Dick was more than just a normal boy. But no matter how much he pretends or what happens, Robin was still a child. And no child should be used to death.

"I'm kicking myself for not getting there in time." The Boy Wonder continued, "We all are." Robin turned back to face Batman. "There was nothing more we could have done, at least not at that moment. I know we did our best, and sometimes it won't ever be enough." The acrobat's expression grew serious. Dick seemed to be talking more to himself then Bruce.

Batman nodded in agreement, "You're right."

Bruce studied his son, as the teen stared down the wall over the Dark Knights shoulder. He was proud of Dick, it can be hard to accept that you did your best while in the face of a tragedy - Batman knew that first hand. Often heroes get lost in the loss and feeling of failure. They get lost, and some don't come back from it. But at the same time Bruce was left with a feeling of guilt buried deep in his gut."Do you want to return to Gotham?" Batman asked, voice soft, compared to his usual gruff growl that emitted from under the cowl.

Bruce was never a man of emotion, especially when in the Batman persona. The question was simple but Robin knew the words that were left unsaid. Bruce was concerned.

Dick took a moment to think, what did he want? Well there were many things he wanted, his parents alive, for Roy to be on the team, to have made it in time - to save the woman who died, but that wasn't what Bruce was asking. Right now, Robin just wanted to take a hot shower, maybe get something to eat and go to bed.

The Boy Wonder shook his head slowly, giving his mentor a small smile. "For now I think I'll stay with the team."

Batman stared down at his son, and it took Dick a moment to realize it wasn't Batman but Bruce's concerned gaze that watched him. "Alright." The Dark Knight nodded, "I will be back tomorrow. You know how to reach me if I am needed." Robin smiled at his father, as the senior hero backed away towards the Bat-moble.

"Night Bruce," Robin called, allowing for a moment for Dick to shine through the mask.

The edges of Bruce's usually scowling face turned up, "Good Night Dick." The Dark Knight climbed into his car, and with a rev of the engine, he was out of the cave disappearing into the darkness of the outside world.

Robin waited a moment, staring down the now closed bay doors that his adoptive father disappeared though. The mountain's ship hanger fell silent leaving Robin alone with his thoughts. A hand subconsciously rubbed small circles into his left shoulder. The Boy Wonder sighed, the small sound echoed against the rock walls. Robin turned on his heels – letting his hand drop to his side – following the path his teammates took minutes earlier.

Robin shuffled his feet across the floor, in the direction of his bedroom, suddenly feeling sore and exhausted. By the time, Dick reached the door his body had grown heavy – his limbs filled with lead. Stiff fingers typed in the code and the steel door slid open, allowing the owner entrance. The teen began to strip when the door closed behind him. Belt, cape and other parts of the Boy Wonders uniform landed on the floor, as Robin turned his direction towards his bathroom. The hot water called to him and his aching muscles. Dick paused in front of the mirror, his blue eyes skimming over the crisscross of scars across his chest until landing on the small pale mark on his left shoulder. A finger traced over the lightly puckered skin, the memories flashing before his eyes. Dick's free hand grabbed hold of the sink basin, his knuckles turned white in his tight grip. The Boy Wonder forced the memories away with a stiff shake and pushed away from the mirror, staggering into the shower and turning the water as high as it would go.

Half an hour later, Robin slipped back through his bedroom door, in search for something to calm his grumbling stomach. Fatigue from the days mission, melted away with his shower. A pair of gray sweat pants hung around his hips, a purple Gotham Knights shirt on his shoulders, and a clean mask still plastered on his face. The Boy Wonder wandered through the kitchen, stopping for a few moments to make himself a light snack. Two pieces of bread, a layer of turkey, some lettuce, a slice of tomato, and a squirt of mustard later the teen was on the move again, sandwich balanced on a plate in his left hand. The common room was empty and dark. The rest of the team must have locked themselves away for the night. Robin sighed before launching himself over the back of the couch, landing with a small thud on the cushions. The sandwich remained perfectly balanced as the teen searched for the remote.

Robin flicked his wrist, turning on the wall-sized television, a few more clicks and the volume fell to a whisper. Plate resting in his lap, Robin changed channels with his left hand, holding his food in the right. Light flickered as different shows flashed across the high-def screen. Hannah Montana, Teen Titans, the nightly news, Glee... nothing held the Boy Wonders interest. Robin sighed, pressing the power button to the remote sending the room into darkness.

Plate still full of sandwich in hand, Robin launched himself back over the couch and into the kitchen. The Boy Wonder put his uneaten sandwich in the fridge before heading off to his bedroom. The teen pulled off his shirt and tossed it to the floor. Two pillows from his bed followed shortly after. The teen peeled off his mask and placed it on his bedside table before slipping under the navy sheets of his queen-sized bed. Dick was pulled into a dreamless sleep, memories threatening from the edges of his subconscious.