Dear Italy

Chapter Ten

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia.

Life seemed meaningless to Ludwig, what could life possibly mean if it seemed to be completely devoid of love? Gilbert was gone, possibly for good, thanks to the Soviet Union and Ivan and Natalia, the evil woman whom Ludwig was quite sure had been sniffing around the city of Hamburg where he was no residing as opposed to the country estate he had lived at all his life, well as long as he could remember. Ludwig often did dream of a green hill and his mind seemed to tell him Austria, but Ludwig couldn't remember ever living in Austria. It had always been him and Gilbert until Feliciano entered the picture at the end of World War One. Feliciano was his first friend, the first person non related to him who had complete and utter trust in him, misguided trust it seemed though. Then Kiku came along and after another wear war Alfred had become his friend and slowly the other countries of Western Europe began to warm up to him. But now that all seemed pointless because they all seemed to have abandoned him to his loneliness and depression. Gilbert was stuck on the opposite side of the Iron Curtain, Ludwig hadn't spoken to Feliciano in over thirty years, Kiku was dealing with his own issues, Alfred had been focused on the war he was waging in Vietnam and defeating Communism and none of the other Western European countries seemed to have noticed his unusual quietness at the meetings.

He blinked, pushing away his thoughts and looked to his boss. "I think you should take some time off, Ludwig. You work nonstop and its not healthy, I don't care if you're not technically human, you need to get away from the office. If you try to come back tomorrow I will make sure security keeps you out of the office." His boss said, Ludwig sighed in response; he dared not argue with the man, it was true that he hadn't taken a day off since the wall went up, and he probably could use a vacation. But where would he go? What could he do? It's not like he often hung out with the other nations.

Ludwig thought back to the mansion he had abandoned to live in Bonn, the capitol of West Germany. It was in West Germany, near München, he could clean it or something. It had been a while since he had been there and Ludwig was positive that it could use some cleaning. Plus Berlizt would probably like to be able to run around the lawn again.

"Ja, I'll take the day off." Ludwig agreed,

"Gut." His boss replied shuffling papers on his desk.

Ludwig sighed as he climbed out of the driver's seat of the blue car he drove, he wasn't sure what the model was anymore or even the brand, frankly he didn't really care. Feliciano had always cared more about the cars he drove then Ludwig ever had. He walked around to the back seat door to allow the Doberman to hop out of the car as well, her tail wagging as she was able to run around the familiar yard of their childhood. "Stay in the yard, Berlizt." Ludwig ordered, walking down the familiar dirt path to the wooden garage that had once housed carriages and old cars that both he and Gilbert had owned.

Everything was where Ludwig had left it. He could even see the tail of the Messerschmidt Bf 110 that he had flown during World War Two and the Berlin Airlift. Ludwig had built his own housing area for it after the Berlin Airlift so he wouldn't have to pay to keep it somewhere while he lived in Bonn.

He walked towards it, his fingers trailing on the side of the silver painted plane, leaving two small trails of dust freeness on the plane. The Prussian flag was still painted on it, slightly faded with time, but still discernable. Alfred had painted it because he hadn't had a flag back then, but he did now. It was striped with three different colors black, red and gold and Ludwig couldn't have been prouder to have his own flag.

Ludwig turned around and begun to walk back towards the entrance to the garage when he stopped, there was string he had never noticed hanging before, hanging from the ceiling right in front of him. Frowning slightly he pulled on the string and backed up as a wooden ladder unfolded from the ceiling. Another room on top of the garage, strange. He stepped onto the first step of the ladder, carefully judging to see if it would still hold him, or if it had rotted from time and termites. But it seemed to be sturdy enough to hold him, so he continued up the ladder.

He'd half expected to find Gilbert's diaries up here, but what was really in the room shocked Ludwig to the core, it was a room filled with crates and chests, on a stand in a corner of a room was child's clothing. All black, reminding Ludwig of what a priest would of worn three centuries prior. A painting covered in cloth leaned against the wall beside it. Ludwig felt his legs moving of their own accord towards the covered painting, pulling off the canvas cloth to reveal a girl dressed in a green dress with a white apron. A kerchief covering her hair, but a curl that was reminiscent of Feliciano's own curl stuck out from under it. She was smiling and held a daisy in her hand. And she seemed so familiar to Ludwig as if he had seen her in a dream or a dream in a dream as crazy as it sounded. His fingers brushed the canvas it was painted on unconsciously. Who was she? A nation? Only nations had strange hair like the curl. Maybe the chests held answers to his questions.

Walking over to the nearest chest, Ludwig opened it to find paper after paper. Closer inspection revealed that they were all letter, all written from the mid sixteen hundreds to the early eighteen hundreds.

Liebe Italia,

I can't wait to see you again. The war campaign is going well and they predict that it'll be overs soon and I'll be coming home. I promise.

You've been in my thoughts the whole time I've been away. Your cute blush, the curl that seems to defy gravity.

I hear the horn of battle, I must go.

Holy Rome

This was the remains of the belongings of the Holy Roman Empire, a nation that had come before Ludwig and had resided mostly on the land Ludwig now was the representation of. He wasn't a nation often spoken of now, though Feliciano had told him that Holy Rome had been his first love. But why was all of this stuff at Gilbert's house and not at Rodriech's or Feliciano's? What connection would his older brother have to the fallen nation?

His eyes drifted over to the painting of the girl, he felt as if he should know her, as if he had a deep connection to her. Wouldn't Italy have mentioned a girl to him when h spoke of Holy Rome? There were many similarities between the girl and Feliciano, was that him? Why was he dressed as a girl, the Italian had never mentioned it to him. Ludwig always had felt young next to the Italian; he had only been around since the early eighteen hundreds but Feliciano had been around for nearly a thousand more years. Like Francis or Arthur or Rodreich or Elizaveth or practically every other European nation but him. But now suddenly Ludwig felt a lot younger, and that he had missed a lot too.

He found himself back in his car, Berlizt still playing in the yard, he knew she wouldn't go anywhere, he had trained her too well for her to run off, driving towards France. Hadn't Feliciano said that Francis had been the one to kill the Holy Roman Empire?

"Ludwig, how are you?" Francis said opening in Paris apartment door, he had a smile on his face like normal and he beckoned in the German. Ludwig and Francis rarely saw eye to eye in the past, but now since the European Union was created, they had begun to act more friendly with one another, as had many of the European countries that had once disagreed with each other, except for perhaps Arthur and Francis, but that had thousands of years of hatred behind it.

"I've been better." Ludwig replied stiffly as he walked into the apartment. Francis ushered him to his blue sofa and Ludwig sat down without really thinking.

"Do you want some wine or champagne?" Francis asked, Ludwig shook his head; he wanted to have a clear one as he spoke to Francis.

"I have some questions," he said as Francis poured himself a glass of wine, "about the Holy Roman Empire." Ludwig didn't miss Francis stiffening up as he mentioned the former nation, or that he missed the wine glass and the wine was very cliché like falling onto the counter. Francis realized what he had done quick enough to stop the flow of wine from the bottle so that only a little bit was spilt.

"I'd imagine your brother would have spoken to you of him." Francis replied turning around but not grabbing the wine glass.

"No, he's never mentioned the Holy Roman Empire sober to me. But I found a room above the garage full of his stuff. Why would Gilbert have the Holy Roman Empire's things if he lived with Rodriech and Feliciano? Why wouldn't they have his stuff?"

"I imagine Feliciano does have some of the Holy Roman Empire's things. You do know they were lovers right?" Francis didn't move from his spot standing in front of the wine cabinet. Ludwig nodded.

"He's told me about him. And I found a picture of Feliciano, at least I think its Feliciano, she's got his curl." Francis chuckled to himself.

"Yes, he did dress up as a girl when they were younger. Elizveth found it funny. It's how the Holy Roman Empire originally fell in love with him. The truth did come out and Holy Rome said he didn't care whether Italy was a boy or a girl he'd love him with all his heart. And he did, till he-" Francis cut himself off, he looked uncomfortable talking. "Maybe Arthur is the better person to talk to, he was there when everything happened and Rodriech. Yes, go to Rodreich and ask him about the Holy Roman Empire."

"No, you were the one who killed him; I want to hear it from you."

"I was not the same back then as am now. I was ruthless, Napoleon changed who I was. I had to defeat the Holy Roman Empire to take over Europe, and that is what I did. But he resisted too much, in my mind there was only one way to stop him. But I even failed at that."

"Are you telling me you didn't kill the Holy Roman Empire?" Ludwig asked in disbelief,

"Yes, the Holy Roman Empire is not dead. He still lives." Ludwig felt himself choking, if Feliciano knew his first love wasn't dead then would he still love him, or would he cast him aside for his first love?

"Then where is he?"

"You have to discover that for yourself."

Suddenly Ludwig found himself no longer in Francis's apartment but in a medieval church with people dressed in medival clothing all around him. Up on a podium above him was a man dressed in white and red robes of the papacy. Behind him stood a very young Feliciano and Lovino dressed in the same manner. He could see Arthur and Francis sitting on opposite sides of the room surrounded by their kings and lords. Arthur didn't look that much older than Feliciano and Lovino, Francis did, but still probably not even a teenager yet.

"…On this account I, or rather the Lord, beseech you as Christ's heralds to publish this everywhere and to persuade all people of whatever rank, foot-soldiers and knights, poor and rich, to carry aid promptly to those Christians and to destroy that vile race from the lands of our friends." The man on the podium shouted to the crowds.

And the crowds shouted back "Dues vult! Dues vult!" And Ludwig was almost positive he knew what he was seeing.

"Ludwig, Ludwig." Francis said standing over Ludwig who was now sprawled out on the carpet of the Frenchman's living room. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," Ludwig said excepting Francis' hand and sat up, "I could see a room, you were there, but you were younger twelve maybe, and Feliciano was there and Arthur and Lovino, and the pope. I believe he was the pope. And the people shouted Dues vult! Dues vult!" Francis looked a little shocked as Ludwig repeated the French words.

"Yes, the First Crusade."

"That was almost a thousand years ago." Francis nodded, "How was I seeing that?"

"I remember the Holy Roman Empire was in attendance there." Ludwig frowned, what was Francis implying, that he was the Holy Roman Empire, he had no memories of ever being that person, only the glimpses of what seem like dreams. Like the one he had just had.

"Are you implying…." Ludwig trailed off,

"Yes Ludwig, you are Germany and the Holy Roman Empire. They are one and the same." Francis said with a nod.

"Why doesn't Feliciano know that Holy Rome- I- that I am Holy Rome? He thinks that he- me- urg! He thinks the Holy Roman Empire is dead. Who else knows, does Gilbert know?" Ludwig held his head in his arms as he tried to take in the news. Why hadn't anyone told him?

"Of course Gilbert knows, there are now four people who know the truth about your connection to Holy Rome. The rest of the world believes that he is dead."

"Why? Why doesn't anyone know, Feliciano has been thinking for years that he is dead, he felt like he was betraying him when he realized he was in love with me."

"Because for you to survive, you had to lose your memories and not know of who you were until you remembered yourself." Francis said, "I don't know the details, Arthur's the one who performed the magic not me." Ludwig suddenly felt intensely guilty, he often had tried to destroy Arthur in the last war, and Arthur was the reason he was still alive.

"But I don't really remember, I've only had two memories of Holy Rome, I don't even feel like I'm him." Ludwig protested,

Lieber Italien,

Just once everything seemed to be reverting to some normalcy my world is torn down and a revelation smacks me head first. I have been enveloped in a feeling of Einsamkeit for a while now. I miss you so much. But you haven't even written back.

Ludwig

Ludwig sighed and walked down to the mailbox to place in his letter to Italy in it. He frowned as he opened the metal box, there was a letter inside of it. The envelope was yellowish in color now from however long it had sat in the metal box. Ludwig pulled it out, looking it over for a return address. He almost dropped it as he read one word on it Italy. It was a letter from Italy.

Author's Note (The part of the story where the author comes out and writes a silly note): Yeah, I did a time skip about twenty years. Shame on me. But seriously people, not much happened in the seventies that I felt would have affected Ludwig or Feliciano that much. Hmm…. Maybe I should have written about Star Wars coming into theatres. Alfred dragging everybody to go see it. Haha, maybe a bonus chapter.

Um so I don't get a lot of reviews about it, yes the speech Ludwig sees and hears really is part of the speech Pope Urban the Second gives to rally the Catholics to save the Holy Land taken straight from Wikipedia. (Yeah cause I have that speech memorized). Why does Ludwig see a random scene from the first Crusade, I have been reading a book about the Crusades, that's why. Also there would have been no way Ludwig could have seen it without being the Holy Roman Empire.

Oh and yes Lovino did send Feliciano's letter from chapter five, only Ludwig never got it because it was sitting in his mailbox at the mansion and he was in Bonn (the capitol of West Germany) so he never got it. Cause he's slack about mail. And this is a really long Author's note. Haha.

Translations:

Dues vult: God wills it (French)

Einsamkeit: lonliness (German)