AN: Don't listen to me ramble on, just read. I can barely keep in the tears.

Chapter 44. (44 is like, my second favourite number! This is such a momentous occasion, the last chapter ever of My Immortal. No, no, we will have our celebration/sob fest at the end.)

AN: well I hav noffing 2 say but evrt1 stup glamming ok!111 (just because you can't be glamorous, Enoby. Glam it up!) if any gofik ppl r reading dis den u rok!11 omg I stil kant wait 4 da movie!1 (HAHAHAHA yeah they're never gonna let you in.) tom fleton is so hot (Who is this Tom Fleton? He sounds like an imposter...) lol i hop harry wil bekum gofik (obviously.) koz mi frend told me he iz rlly emo in dis book!1111 (That was Order of the Phoenix, right? Well, she has a point. He was more emo in Half Blood Prince. To be fair ,he had several excuses.) omfg im leeving dubya pretty soon kant wait! Diz wil prolly be da last chaptah until I kum bak. (So apparently, she never came back from leaving Dubya. Whatever that means. I'm thinking that Dubya is a mental health clinic, somewhere in the relaxing sheep-infested valleys of New Zealand.)

"Dat's mi car!" shooted Draco angrily. (IT'S RON'S DAD'S CAR, NOT YOURS!) But suddenly it was revealied who was in da car. It wuz….Snape! (We already KNOW, you told us last chapter. Oh, as if Tara reads anything she's written through.)

"I shall free you Loopin but first you must help me kill these idiotic donderheads." he said cruelly from the car as it flew circumamcizing above us. (What the fjuck does that even mean?) "Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way must be killed. (OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY HAS SOME SENSE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU.) Den the Dork Lord shall never die!" (DORKS SHALL RULE THE WORLD UNDER THE DORK LORD!)

"You fucking prep!" (Dork, not prep, Draco dearest.) yelled Draco. Then he loked at me sadly. (Because he just realised what a bitch Enoby was.) "I forgot to tell u, Ebony. (That's convenient.) Snape made me do it with him. I didn't really have sexx him but he's a ropeist!" (LEAVE THOSE POOR ROPES ALONE, SEVERUS! Unless you're using one to hang Enoby.)

We all put our clothes on quickly except Satan. We were so scarred!1 But Satan didn't change. Instead he changed into a man with gren (RED.) eyes, no nose, a gray robe and white skin. He had changed into… (Mickey Mouse!) Voldemont!111 (DAMN YOU.)

"I knew who thou were all along." (Oh, yay, more Shakespeare.) he cackled evilly and sarcastically at me. (Evil and sarcastic? I wonder what Hitler would have sounded like had he combined those two.) "Now I shall kill thee all!" Thunder came in da room. (Thunder…? As in, a dog called Thunder? A thing called Thunder? Because actual thunder can't just walk into the room, it's a SOUND.)

"No plz don't kill us!" pleaded Vampire. (So many people in this story really need to grow a pair.) Suddenly Willow, B'loody Mary, Diabolo, Ginny, Drocula, Fred and Gorge, Hargrid, McGonagall, Dumblydore, Serious and Lucian all ran in. (They were so obviously eavesdropping.)

"What is da meaning of dis?" ('Dis' according to : disrespect some one

1. she dised u so fuckin bad u turned red

shit is fo sheezy

There you go, Dumbles.)

Dumblydore asked all angrily and Voldimort lookd away (bcos dumblydore is da only whizard he is scared of.) (That doesn't mean he looks away like a teenage girl who's been caught staring at her crush…) He did a spell and suddenly his broomstick came to him sexily. (BROOMS CAN BE SEXY NOW? God, Enoby's world must just be full of sexy, beautiful people and their sexy brooms. –coughyeahrightcough-) Volxemort flew above the roof evilly on his broomstik.

"Oh my goth!" Slugborn gosped. (geddit kos im goffik) (If anything, I will be so glad to lay these amazingly witty, ingenius goth puns to rest. Because they're just too awesome to deal with anymore, I may have to cut a bitch if I see one more.)

"The Dark Lord shall kill all of you. Then you must submit to him!" Snape ejaculated (OH MY GOD WHY DID I LOOK THAT WORD UP?) menacingly. (So that's what Snape does when he gets his menacing act on?)

"You fucking preppy fags!" Serious shouted angrily. (Oh, bitch went there!)

"I know a four-letter word 4 dirt, CRUCIATUS!" screamed Harry (I KNOW THAT CRUCIATUS HAS NINE LETTERS BECAUSE I'M NOT TWO YEARS OLD. OR HARRY.) but da sparks from his wand only hit Draco's car. It fell down (It was hit by sparks and fell down…? Mr Weasley's engineering standards have dropped!) Snap quickly crowled out of it and picked up the cideo camera. (I'm still intrigued as to what a cideo camera is.)

"Oh my fucking god!1" I cried becoze the video of me in da bathrum, the video of me dong it wif Drako and the video of Satan doing it with (with…? OK, now Tara is failing to finish her sentences. If you're going to finish this story, at least finish the madness with CLASS.)

"If you kill me then deze cideos will be shown to everyone in the skull. (That's the kind of thing some girl would do in the middle of a bitch fight with some other girl at high school. You know, you see it on movies. Wait… this is becoming a chick flick?) Then u can be just like that goffik girl Paris Hillton." He laughed meanly. (Oh my god, it IS!)

"No!" I scremed. "FYI I hav da picter of u doing it with Loopin!11"

"Whats she talking abott?" Lupin slurped (What was he slurping?) as he sat in chains. (Which appeared from nowhere.)

"I saw 2 she's gunna show evry1 da picter!111" Harry shouted angrily.

"Shut up!111'" Lumpkin roared.

"Foolish ignoramuses!" (… pffff!) yielded Voldemort from his broomstick. "Thou shall all dye (their armpit hair blue and become part of my Dork Platoon soon." so that we can all take over the world under my Dorky Rule of Dorkiness! LET THE DORKS REIGN FOREVER MORE!)

"Think again you fucking muggle poser!1" Harry yelled and then he and Diablo and Navel both took out blak guns! But Voldimort took out his own one. (FUCK SAKE, YOU HAVE WANDS. YOU'RE WIZARDS…. Barely.)

"U guyz are in a Latin stand-of!111" I shouted despariedrly.(That is possibly the stupidest thing I have heard all week. WOO, LATIN STAND-OFF!)

"Acco Nevel's wand!11" cried Voldrimort nd suddenly Nevil's wind was in his hands. (That is the general idea, yes.) "Now I shall kill thee all and Evony u will die!11111" (Here we go. Voldy, sweetie, don't you think all this need to take over and rule the word and kill people is a teensy bit oerdramatic? It's just a silly little world, pet! Would you like a bag of Milky Stars?)

He maid lighting come all over da place. (All hope is lost.)

"Save us Ebony!" Dumbledark cried. (Ah, he's DumbleDARK now. You guys should like him, Enoby.)

I cried sexily I just wanted 2 go 2 the commen room and slit my wrists with mi friends while we watched Shark Attak 3 and Saw 2 and do it with Draco (You're in a life threatening situation here! When Harry was face to face with Voldemort in the Great Hall, during the Final Battle, HE wasn't thinking about how much he'd like to be watching the latest Doctor Who or reruns of Lost or fucking Ginny. And then there's you. Oh, Enoby.) but I knew I had 2 do somefing more impotent.

"ABRA KEDABRA!11111" I shooted. (IT'S OVER! WE CAN ALL SLEEP SAFE IN OUR BEDS AT NIGHT KNOWING THAT ENOBY HAS BEEN LAID TO REST IN THE FILES OF TARA GILESPIE'S COMPUTER, WITH WHATEVER OTHER MONSTERS TARA CREATED. This is… truly the end of something special.)

AN: *blows nose* And this is it, guys! Let us all give thanks to Tara for this unique piece of brilliance, this monumental work of art, which has inspired many an author, including myself, to shove their heads down a toilet. We'll never forget Dumbledork and his wild-goose-chasing ways. Snap and Lumpkin will hold a special place in our hearts for proving that there is something bigger and better out there for Rice Krispies and pumpkins. Draco... we'll never forget the many different languages your name was spelt in. And to the Japanese, we're very sorry about the abuse your language suffered in Enoby's innocent attempts to better herself as a person. And of course, thank you to Enoby/Enooby/Enobby/Ebooby/Ebony/Tara, the Many Names of a Mary-Sue. You taught us the true art of writing a Mary-Sue. You taught us that, yes, it is in fact possible to kill yourself numerous times and yet not die. You taught us that our own writing isn't, in fact, all that crap compared to... er, this. And finally, you taught us to never trust a bloke who speaks Shakespearean. The world is a better place thanks to you.

And last but not least, THANK YOU TO ALL MY REVIEWERS! So many have you have been faithful to my commentary on this, and I can't tell you how happy it makes me when I get a review that truly makes me smile. We've all survived My Immortal with our brains intact (mostly - I think we lost a few brave soldiers along the way), and... just thank you!

Now, please make me smile one last time and send me a review. I LOVE YOU ALL! :D