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Warning rape and violence in the first chapter

As the water cascaded down my body I let my tears fall. Ever since we got back from the hospital I haven't had a moment to myself, a moment when I could just let everything that has happened soak in. Now that I could my body was taking the toll of my distress, I sobbed over my lost mother, and now my lost childhood. I turned off the water and sunk to the bottom of the moist tub. Honestly I didn't want to get out, getting out meant facing reality and I just wasn't ready to do that yet. I wiped my tears and picked myself up, shuffling quicker when I heard small whimpering come from my bedroom. I tied my bathrobe around my body and picked up a writhing pink bundle and padded to the kitchen where I passed my mother's ex- husband. I made a bottle and started feeding the baby in my arms her meal, even though it's been a good twenty-four hours since I last ate myself.

"So what are we going to do?" I asked Phil as I wiped away some formula that had seeped from my baby sisters mouth and dribbled down her chin. The bastard couldn't even look at me let alone his own daughter.

"You know exactly what's going to happen Isabella. I already bought your plane tickets, your going to go to Forks with your kid and forget all about me." Phil said with distain and took a sip of his beer. I removed the bottle from the baby and put her on my shoulder to burp her.

"But why, she's your daughter not mine…I never wanted this, why do I have to become a mother at seventeen. Hell I didn't even have sex and I'm forced to deal with the ramifications as if I had!" I whisper shouted. Phil stood up and threw his beer can at the wall next to me and got into my face.

"This is your responsibility because your goddamn mother knew I wanted no kids, you were enough! Yet she got herself pregnant anyway and dies giving birth. Now I am not taking care of any bastard child nor am I just going to give her up and let some strangers I don't know take care of her." He released my shoulders and stormed out the house the door slamming behind him. The slamming jarred the once sleeping infant causing her to awaken and start screaming in fright. I sobbed myself as I rocked the infant back to sleep. It wasn't her fault all this happened, nor was it my dead mothers but how I hated her right now. I wish she had just gotten the fucking abortion that Phil wanted, then she would still be alive and I could have my freedom.

I walked into my bedroom where the crib was kept and tucked the baby in. My thumb gently stroked her plump rosy cheeks, shame instantly filled my entire body. How could I have ever though that about this sweet little baby, my sister. My mother would be so ashamed of me. I walked out of my room and made me something to eat, knowing hunger and lack of sleep contributed to my harsh thoughts. I had just finished washing my plate when Phil came pounding back inside, back from the local bar I could only guess.

"Can you please shut the fuck up, I just got the baby to sleep." I said hatefully. Suddenly a force plowed into me and threw me onto the kitchen table. My breath hitched as Phil rubbed his erection into my robe covered body. I felt so stupid, I never changed into real clothes, I had forgotten about it honestly. I had just been so concerned with taking care of the baby, then my necessary facilities I never thought to do so. I also never though Phil would be capable of what he was doing so right now, no matter how drunk. Tears sprung from my eyes as I struggled to escaped. Phil picked me up and slammed me onto the table my head knocking into the wood. Pain spread from the back of my head to my eye sockets. I whimpered in agony as Phil ripped open the robe and leered at my body.

"You want sex huh? Like the whore you are right? Well fine I'll give you what you want, maybe if your lucky you can even have your own little bastard to take care of along with your mothers, would that make you happy huh… to be a have my baby growing in your stomach." Phil sneered at me scotch from his breath practically intoxicating me as well.

"No please, please Phil don't I was just being a smartass I swear please don't." I begged, he ignored my plea's with a slap to my face and quickly pulled his pants to his knees. And then he was in me. I tired to block out the next five minutes but I couldn't block out my screams. When he was finished he spat on me and told me to clean myself up then flicked the kitchen light off submerging me in darkness. I sat there for an hour in total shock, I even ignored the wails of the baby who I was sure awoken as soon as I started screaming. With each shuttering breath I felt myself come back. I forced myself up and into my room. I tugged at my hair as my eyes darted through my room trying to decide what should come first. I took a deep cleansing breath and shook out my hands, deciding clothing was first. I ran to my adjoining bathroom and cleaned myself up telling my self I would processes what happened when I had time. I went to the crib and changed the baby's diaper, after rocking her for a few minutes she finally calmed down enough so I could pack the rest of my clothes and what little I had of baby clothes. I then snuck into Phil's room trying to keep calm and quiet as I could wanting to prevent a repeat performance of just a few hours before. I grabbed all the diapers and baby formula there was and made my escape.

I never knew why my mother always kept the baby essentials in their room, I guess she was hoping Phil would just get used to seeing the baby things and would, someday what to know how they were used? I didn't know but god how I missed my mother right now. I stuffed the generic pink diaper bag to the brim and locked the baby into her car seat. With everything packed and ready to go I called my best friend Beth to give me a ride to air port. She was mad when I woke her up but I told her that Phil and I had another fight and I just couldn't stay there any longer. She finally made it to my house and helped me load up the bags and baby things. I went back into the kitchen and I shuttered as I picked up all of the papers that had scattered out of the vanilla folder that was on the kitchen table and I made sure I had the two plane tickets.

We were early, very early but I couldn't stay in that house anymore. I thanked Beth and gave her one last hug good-bye. I found some seats near the terminal where the plane would be and settled into the uncomfortable plastic chair. Yet I felt at peace where I was, the tension that had me glancing over my shoulder every five seconds was gone and my eyes drifted shut without my permission.

I awoke several hours later when the baby's crying woke me up. The sun was rising and the air port was filling with passengers, most of them glaring at me assuming I was a teenage mother, I guess now, according to the papers in my backpack I was. Once the baby was taken care of our plane was called. Luckily getting here so early we had already been cleared by security and our bags placed in the underbelly of the plane. I found our seats and strapped the baby in then myself. Our seat partner looked both of us up with distain and grudgingly took their seat.

"What's her name." the once glaring passenger asked when we took off. I looked at the woman and criticized her as she did to me. She had dark bags under her striking blue eyes, yellowing teeth, a smoker already wishing for her next smoke. Though the tan line from a square object meant two things, birth control or a nicotine patch. I was leaning more towards the latter.

"Bianca, the baby's name is Bianca." I mumbled closing my eyes hoping to get some more sleep. The woman "humped" and started ranting about disrespectful and irresponsible teenagers these days. I snorted and rolled my eyes behind my lids, the bitch didn't know me, didn't know us. The plane landed as lightning lit up this rainy and oppressing state, Washington State my home town of Forks lingers just an hour away. Our new life starts now.