Author's Note: I know there are about a zillion other stories I should be working on, but I've had this idea sitting on my computer for almost a year now, and I just finally finished it. (It took so long because I kept getting stuck; relax, it's not ridiculously long.)
I've always been intrigued by this idea of writing an in-canon Sparxshipping break-up of sorts. And then I heard the All-American Rejects' song "It Ends Tonight" and, well, it just fit perfectly. :-)
Warning: Baltor is definitely a little OOC, but I don't think it's too detractable. After all, to ship Sparxshipping, he kind of has to be at least a little OOC (since the cartoons basically portray him as a heartless, power-hungry bastard). Also, any fans of waterbendergirl101's "A Deadly Choice", which has sort of the same premise - yeah, this is very different. You'll see how when you read it.
I'll get off the screen now, and let you read. Enjoy!
Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all
I lay awake in bed, staring out the window at the dark night sky. Across the room, Flora snored softly, almost prettily, the steady rhythm indicating she was fast asleep.
The digital clock on my nightstand read 12:29 AM – way too late for me to still be awake, especially after the day we'd had. Faragonda and Griselda had put us through a rigorous day of training exercises – now that we all had achieved our Enchantix (even if mine was still a bit incomplete), there were so many new spells we could learn that would help in the battle against Baltor. All the other girls had fallen straight into bed when we returned to the dorm after dinner – only Stella had even bothered with a shower.
Except for me.
I was sore, worn-out, and exhausted from the day of training, but for the life of me, I couldn't seem to fall asleep. And the worst part was, I knew exactly why. My fingers were practically twitching, longing to escape the confines of Alfea's protection bubble and…
No. You have to stop this now. It's an addiction, Bloom, and the sooner you learn to kick it the better. Eventually you'll have to stop anyways.
I sighed. The voice in my head was right, of course, and I knew it in every part of my mind – that what I was doing was wrong on so many levels, and that I had to stop. But stealing another glance at the clock, I decided to ignore it.
Just one more time.
After whispering a silencing spell – just in case any of the girls were somehow still awake and could hear me – I slipped my feet into the slippers next to my bed and tiptoed down the hallway, out the door of the dorm, and then – with the help of Tecna's barrier breaker – out into the forest. Only once the magical barrier was re-forming itself did I breathe a sigh of relief, and transform to fly the rest of the way there.
After all, I told myself, trying to rationalize this, as I zoomed over acres of forest, nothing's truly final without a proper good-bye. And that's all this is – a good-bye.
(If only I could force myself to believe it.)
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all
It's kind of funny how life turns out sometimes, you know? Like how when you're little and you make friends with a girl – maybe even best friends – and then when you grow up, she suddenly turns into a raging bitch and forgets she was ever nice to you? (True story: if you want proof, just look up Mitzi Perkins.) Anyway, my point is, things don't always end up the way you think they will.
Case in point.
I started beating my wings at a slower pace, as I approached Cloud Tower. When I first started at Alfea, the creepy-looking dark castle – and the intimidating witches that lived inside it – had scared the living daylights out of me. (Of course, the Trix were mostly to blame for that bad first impression, but still.) It was about the last place I would ever want to go in the middle of the night – let alone voluntarily, breaking about a zillion rules and risking one of Griselda's infamously horrible punishments if I was caught.
But that's the thing about addiction, isn't it? You find yourself doing all kinds of things you wouldn't normally do.
(How could something that feels so right be so wrong?)
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
"You came." It was amazing, really, how two little words had the power to send shivers down my spine. I was happily surprised that he was still waiting for me, even though I normally snuck out much earlier than this. Then I remembered why I was really here, and forced the smile off my face. It would only make what I had to do that much harder.
"I can't stay." The words were heavy on my tongue, and I started to regret coming at all. Why had I thought this would be beneficial? A clean break really would've been better – no sign at all, just not showing up. Instead, I had to look him in the eye and say this. For the first time since formulating my plan on the trip over, I started to doubt myself.
"Is something wrong? Did you get caught last time?" He turned around from the bookshelf, and my breath caught in my throat involuntarily. No matter how many times I snuck in here in the middle of the night, I never got used to looking at Baltor when he wasn't trying to kill me. My eyes automatically took in all the little details that made him so very attractive – the sharp angles of his jaw and chiseled features like a Greek statue; the powerful, well-defined muscles hidden underneath those weird old-fashioned clothes that were strangely suited to him; those beautiful, piercing golden eyes…
"No, it's nothing like that," I said, forcing myself not to look him at him directly, as he slowly walked towards me. One look in those eyes, and I was a goner for sure.
"Then what is it?" He tilted my chin up to meet his gaze, and I squeezed my eyes shut, balling my hands into fists, trying to will myself to say it.
Just say it. Say it and leave, before you do anything stupid.
"What's wrong, love?" That did it. I opened my eyes and immediately felt myself melting at the sight of his golden irises, staring at me with confusion and concern and an unmistakable, undeniable love.
Rather than answer, I reached up and kissed him, pouring all of my emotions into the kiss. He seemed a little surprised at first, but then kissed me back just as passionately. Never breaking the kiss, he scooped me up in his arms, bridal style, and carried me over to the couch in the corner, which we had for exactly this purpose.
Then clothes were coming off, and his hands were tracing the curves of my body, his skin hot against mine, and I knew in the back of my mind that I shouldn't be doing this again, but it just felt so good and oh God, just thinking about telling him to stop made my entire body ache with emptiness.
So I didn't.
(Forgive me.)
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow
"So what were you so worked up about earlier, darling?" I was lying with my head on his chest, as his fingers absentmindedly stroked my hair. My heart rate was starting to return to normal, and I could feel the shame setting in, creeping like fog. No matter how many times we did this, those feelings never went away.
I was lying to my friends, living a double life – and eventually, it was all bound to catch up with me in the worst possible way.
That is exactly why you have to end this, the voice in the back of my head said. And in my heart, I knew it was right.
"This… was a mistake." I pulled a sheet around my body, trying to search for my clothes on the floor by the couch. It felt wrong to have this conversation while naked.
Baltor's eyes narrowed. "What was a mistake?"
"This. Us. I shouldn't have come tonight."
"What are you talking about?"
I turned around to face him. "We can't do this anymore."
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight
His face was a steely mask, unreadable. I started to worry, wonder if he was going to get angry and hurt me. He never had before, but he was a dark wizard, after all.
"Is this about Sky?" he asked finally – tightly, like he was trying not to lose his temper.
I was so surprised, I dropped the piece of clothing I had in my hands. "Sky? You think this is about Sky?" I nearly laughed, the thought was so preposterous.
"What else am I supposed to think?" I bit my bottom lip, looking away, as I tried to figure out the best way to continue. "I understand why you kept up the pretense – it would've been far too suspicious otherwise – but you swore to me that you felt nothing for him anymore. Was that a lie? Was everything just a lie?"
"No!" I exclaimed, reaching for his hand against my better instincts. Tracing patterns along his palm with my fingertips, I felt tiny jolts of energy race through my veins as he intertwined our fingers. It was amazing, really, how even the slightest touch could get my heart racing. He knew exactly where to touch me, how to kiss me, to send shivers down my spine and make me scream in ecstasy. Making out with Sky, in comparison, was like kissing a marble statue.
"So then what is it, my love?" I flinched at his use of the endearment; it was becoming clearer and clearer that this was not going to be the easy, painless process I'd imagined it would be. Somehow, what was supposed to be just scratching an itch had developed into something that had taken root deep down in my heart, making the removal process more painful than I could've ever dreamed.
I forced myself to pull away, stifling a tiny groan at the loss of contact. "It's my friends," I blurted, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. "I can't do this anymore. The guilt of lying to them feels like it's going to choke me sometimes." Baltor was strangely silent, which worried me, but I continued. "We both knew we were only living on borrowed time. It can't be that much of a surprise to you, can it?"
Baltor stared at me, his golden eyes boring into me like he could see straight into my soul. "There's something you're not telling me, Bloom."
A lump of something heavy and sour stuck in the back of my throat. It tasted like guilt, something I'd unfortunately come to recognize very well lately. "They want me to kill you," I admitted, my voice barely audible.
Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know
His eyes flickered with something indescribable, but as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone.
"We have the Water Stars; I'm sure they're all wondering why I've resisted using them so far. It's only a matter of time before someone starts asking questions, and what am I supposed to say? Tell them the truth?" I'd be lying if I said the thought hadn't crossed my mind – many times – but each time, I was forced to concede that they'd never understand; not even Flora, who was most understanding person I'd ever met. All any of them would see was that I was – literally – sleeping with the enemy. "And we can't fake something like this. I don't think I have a choice at this point."
Our relationship had always been unusual, considering the circumstances. In order to keep the secret, it was necessary to continue to meet in battle, but now we were always careful to never inflict mortal wounds, and leave behind as little damage as possible. It was unorthodox, yes, but we had always managed to make it work – keeping up the façade of being enemies in public, and lovers behind closed doors. (The pretending-to-hate-each-other even added a certain… element, to our physical relationship.) This, though, was one challenge we couldn't possibly hope to overcome.
His silence unnerved me. "Say something!" I pleaded.
Baltor sighed. When he spoke, it was as if an enormous burden now lay on his shoulders. "I suppose I should have known this day would come eventually. I can't keep you forever."
I felt my knees buckle and give way, and I collapsed back onto the couch, half-frozen in shock and fear. Despite my entire speech about why we had to stop seeing each other – and knowing that this was wrong in every way, and that my friends would most likely hate me if they ever found out – a part of me had secretly harbored hope that Baltor would have a solution. He was older, wiser, more experienced… surely, he would be able to come up something. Hearing him echo the thoughts that had been running through my head for the last several days… it was like someone had popped the bubble, and sent me crashing back to cold, hard, unforgiving reality.
"Why?" I whispered, talking more to myself than anything. "Why can't we just be together? Why does the rest of the world have to butt itself in?"
He sighed, saying nothing, and wrapped his arms around my torso, pulling me against his chest, my head fitting snugly in the curve between his neck and shoulder. I closed my eyes and leaned back, feeling his heart beating against my back.
"You know, we could always…"
"No." I cut him off before he could finish the sentence, knowing exactly where he was heading. This was not the first time he had brought up the idea of running away together, and while at first glance it would seem like the solution to our problems, the only thing it would really do was cause more. Having to leave my friends, most likely without a proper goodbye; constantly living life on the run, never staying in one place for too long, always using fake names (since Baltor was, after all, an escaped convict)… that was no kind of life.
"Forgive me," he mused, playing with a lock of my hair. "You and I are so similar… I often forget that we are also quite different. You are a social creature by nature, while I am… not. The life of a runaway would suit me just fine, but it would never be enough for you." I nodded, grateful that he had voiced what I was unable to put into words.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
It ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight
It ends tonight
I stole a glance at the large arched windows of Griffin's office. To my dismay, the sky was starting to lighten, indicating that morning was not so far off. "You have to go," he said solemnly, following my eyes towards the windows. All I could do was nod, my voice frozen in my throat.
Slowly, I got to my feet and gathered my clothes from the floor, taking my time getting dressed, wanting to delay the inevitable for as long as possible. I saw Baltor deliberately avert his eyes as I changed; he had certainly seen my body enough times, so why now was he choosing to be 'polite'? I could feel the barriers between us start to build back up, and I wanted to scream.
Finally, there was no real reason to delay my departure any longer. I hovered in the space between the couch and the door, playing with the zipper on my jacket. As if sensing my distress, he walked over to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against him. A surge of pleasure raced through my veins at his touch, but quickly froze and died as I remembered that this would be the last time he ever held me like this.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out those painful thoughts. A lock of my hair fell in front of my face, and I felt cool fingertips brush against my forehead as Baltor tucked in gently behind my ear, resting his hand on the curve of my jaw.
"I love you."
I froze. "Don't. Don't do this to me. Don't make me the bad guy here. We both knew it would have to end like this."
"That doesn't make me like it any more." He sighed, gently stroking my cheek. "I didn't say that to make you feel guilty. I just wanted you to know. No matter what happens, I will always love you."
I swallowed hard, my chest contracting painfully. "I love you too," I said softly. He smiled – one of the few rare smiles I'd ever seen him make – before tilting my chin up and placing his lips over mine. I kissed him back hungrily, memorizing the taste and feel of his lips and trying not to think about how this would probably be the last time I ever kissed him.
The kiss was sweet, but before long I tasted something salty. When we broke apart, I felt something trickling down my cheek and realized that I was crying.
"Don't cry, my sweet," he said, reaching up to wipe away my tears.
I blinked. "How can you be so calm, knowing that I'll have to– what I'll have to do?"
"Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while."
I smiled through the tears. "You really think that this is true love?"
"I have to believe this isn't the end for us. I care about you far too much."
I said nothing, simply buried my head in his chest and inhaled deeply, his arms squeezing me tightly.
"We're only prolonging the inevitable," he said after a moment.
"I know," I sighed, reluctantly letting go. "I'll miss you."
We stared at each other, knowing that the next time we met would be in battle, where only one could come out alive.
"Go," he urged, nudging me towards the door. "The later you stay, the greater the chance that you'll be discovered." I hesitated, every cell in my body begging me not to leave. "Go," he repeated, more firmly this time. "This isn't the end. We'll meet again, somehow."
"Somehow," I echoed, holding onto that vague, weak promise like it was my lifeboat in shark-infested waters. Slowly, like moving through quicksand, I made my way to the door, heart heavy as lead.
At the doorway I paused, looking back over my shoulder for one final, un-battle-tainted image to store in my mind. Blue irises met gold, and for a brief moment, I could see my own conflict mirrored in his eyes. Then I closed my eyes and summoned my Winx, transforming to fly back to Alfea, leaving my heart farther behind with every beat of my wings.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight
Author's Note: So? Thoughts?
I want to clear some things up right away, before I get any reviews asking the same questions over and over again. This is a semi-AU. Like almost all of my in-canon Sparxshipping fics, Baltor never left Cloud Tower (it's just way too convenient to have him be right there). Other than that, canon's pretty much continued as normal, with the two of them still acting like enemies even though there's Sparxshipping. What I was trying to get at (and I'm not sure how good of a job I did explaining this) is that they're able to separate their two very different relationships (SO FAR) - partially so they can keep the secret, and also a little bit because their goals haven't really changed (he still wants power, and she still wants to stop him). It's very confusing, I know, but necessary for this story to work. If anyone still has questions, I'd be more than happy to clear that up for you.
Kudos to anyone who caught the famous movie quote in there. I'm not going to tell you what movie it's from, though, because that would make it too easy. (It's not the first quote you'd think of when you hear this movie's title, but it's definitely up there. This movie has many famous quotes, I can tell you that much.)
I definitely left the ending open enough for a sequel of sorts if there's interest, although if I did write one, that piece could easily be a stand-alone. Right now, I have a multi-faceted idea that could go one of two ways - an introspective on the final battle - and then another, multi-chaptered idea that I may just write anyway once I finish the What Comes Next trilogy, since it could definitely be a stand-alone.
Adieu for now, my darlings!
- Authoress