the farthest distance between two points

It all starts over again tomorrow. Beck/Jade. Non-linear.

A/N: just in case it's not obvious, they're getting a divorce. and basically this is me being pointless and writing like a character study of being seperated- how divorce happens and what happens and how they can still be in love but just not together. idk. i'm not making sense. it interested me and i wrote it down. i hope everyone likes it! my first time writing bade for a while, so please tell me what you think, i'd love to hear it :)

;;;

Beck's laying on his bed in their house. The house that feels too empty now. They never should have bought it; his hands trace the air like there's something he can touch. Nothing is tangible. They never painted the walls and they're too blank staring at him like they're blaming him-

the papers are on his desk with lines across them Beck is supposed to sign on-

It all starts over again tomorrow.

;;;;

The lawyers take off to wherever they go and the sun is shining through the glass windows. The two interns that are sitting in look at each other and appear to decide something. Beck sees them, lets himself imagine the girl with the skinny legs and the guy with the dark hair fucking in a broom closet- it's a big building, gotta have a broom closet or something, somewhere, isn't that where most people do their dirty debauchery-

Soon the room is half empty, only them. Beck's still sitting, Jade's still touching the papers on the table, her fingers drifting over them in a move that's strangely peaceful for her, and then, he can almost taste it, her anger sitting with them.

They shouldn't be alone. Beck has forgotten how to represent himself by- himself. He's forgotten how to talk or move or look without a lawyer telling him to do it first.

Jade glances up then and their eyes meet. It feels like an explosion; for some reason. It feels like a thousand stars bursting and opening against him.

Beck has to say- "I'm-"

they both start at the same time,

"You go a-"

"-head." Jade finishes. They could be back in middle school, awkward conversations at her locker, one of his hands perched over her head, leaning forward and backwards.

"This is going well." Beck tries, waits for Jade's smirk that doesn't show up on her lips. Everything is off-balance. But it is understandable, under the circumstances and Beck can't find it in himself to-

"Just say what you were going to." Jade looks past him or she tries to but when her eyes flick away she still looks at his face like it's an accident.

The whole thing is like a car crash that Beck is in and watching from far away at the same time.

"I can't- I don't remember what it was."

"Want to text it to me?" Jade asks, tone bitter but not as bitter as it could be, Beck doesn't put any stock in it because he can't hope for anything, he can't because- because-

"I don't have your number anymore." Beck points out. He thinks maybe global warming is finally kicking in or the building's heating is really fucked up because his hands are cold and the rest of him is a billion degrees. Also he can't feel his ears or feet or nose.

"That's not my probl-"

"I'm sor-"

Back at the beginning.

;;;;

They're waiting in the lobby. Two doors next to each other that push open dramatically like the ones in the movies, the ones where you say abracadabra and slam them apart. Jade is probably waiting for a taxi, so is Beck but for some reason he wants to watch her go first. Wants to watch her wrap her coat around her, watch her cross her arms and get into the cab until he can't see her anymore.

"How long?" He hears a voice. Jade. Her eyes aren't lined with as much eyeliner as before, she's toned it down since high school but he can still see it, traces around her lashes, fluttering against her cheekbones. Charcoal smeared on pale skin.

"How long what?" He asks.

"How long have you been fucking her." It's like a question but her voice is deadpan, not even focusing on him.

"You smell like her perfume." She clarifies.

Back before, Beck would try to trace where Jade was coming from, try to figure out exactly what she was trying to do, and it wouldn't be hard because he knew he like the back of his hand, like something that was a part of him-

"Figured I could, now." Beck says. He can't be bothered with all of it. "Right, Jadelyn?"

Her full name tastes like the past. He shouldn't have said it. He went too far. Always too far, too fast (forever young) fucking a girl in a bathroom stall in an airport because Jade wouldn't come out oh god he's remembering and he's not fucking supposed to- to think-

Jade stares at him. The streets are quick, hard, cars speeding by and they blur in front of him, everything is out there and Jade is looking at him.

;;;;

(He doesn't hear her when she lights up but he knows she does because he can smell the smoke like acid thick on his tongue and he remembers the way her fingers used to curl around the cigarette, slim and too thin; cold.)

;;;;

Beck can't focus. It's been a few hours. Jade- she must have- she must have calmed down a bit- by now. Right? She did. She always did.

Speed dial number one on his phone, she had programmed it herself.

Jade picks up after three rings. Beck counts them in his head, when she answers he starts talking, no plan, ever-

"I'm. Look, Jade- I'm sorry, you know I wouldn't- I don't even- she doesn't mean any-"

"Eight one eight, nine eight seven six." Jade ticks off. She doesn't sound like herself. Maybe she has a cold. He could ask but-

"Wait- what- Jade?"

"My lawyer's number." Jade sounds weird, gone,

"Jade,"

"Don't have sex with anyone on the way there."

She hangs up.

Someone taps on his shoulder but he doesn't know who.

Jade didn't let him talk.

;;;

"Hey, did you get my email?"

"Oh, yeah, about Cat. Pissed me off too, but she'll be okay, it's not like-"

"No, Jade, I meant the flight information I sent you. We're going to visit Tori and Andre tomorrow, remember?"

"Yeah, Cat'll be fine, critics are just stupid-"

"Jade, listen to me, I'm talking to you, okay-"

"I am listening, I told you- shit- Beck I'm kind of fucking busy right now, could you like, maybe,"

Beck counts to ten, backwards in his head, slow and sure. He stands there with his eyes closed and thinks "everything is okay, nothing is wrong" because he's Beck and she's Jade and they're BeckandJade and maybe she just needs a couple of hours or something.

;;;;

He's sitting on the couch, she's next to him. Beck's half-asleep, mind wandering, the only thing that's keeping him awake is Jade tapping words into his arm. Her hands are soft and she's drawing almost, line squiggle curve

It's like

l o

It's like

v finger tips smoothing over nail scratching something

No, no, he's got it

circle circle swirl j

For all Beck knows she's been doing this for a while, he can always ask later,

+ b j + b horizontal line horizontal line sideways triangle curve curve-

Beck traps her hand with his, she turns. He can feel her smile against his shoulder.

;;;;

They are inches away from each other but sometimes it feels like miles.

;;;;

Andre buys Tori a ring and Jade watches him give it to her something like consideration in her barely there grin.

(Except Jade doesn't care about-)

He buys a catalogue in the morning, leaves it on the counter where she can see it and two days later she smirks hi and circles prices with nail polish, dripping on the table top but he doesn't mind.

;;;;

Beck serenades Jade with a Justin Bieber song. The timing is random, off, and the worst case scenario (what if what if what if) is turning into

the best case scenario, it'll make sense if they think about it-

"I'm gonna ask you one time…"

It makes her laugh like it's supposed to.

;;;

fin.