Are you ppl happy? You got a double update. From me. I never do things like this..so read on, my minions. Also, the self insertion wasn't my idea, but it explains how this scene happens. I just went with it. Don't worry, we won't be major characters, we'll just push the plot along. (Gaara: this thing has a plot? Since when? Me: It's always had a plot. To get the chosen characters of Naruto to sleep together. Duh. Limes are fun.) I don't want to put our real names, and since we share the same first name, we just chose random letters. I'll give out a prize of…something to whomever first guesses who is me (or my friend, whichever you guess). I own NOTHING!
Lee: I am so sick of Gaara!
Naruto: Oh, why?
Lee: He was sleeping with that asshole, Kiba!
Naruto: Really? I heard he was sleeping with Sasuke, that two-timing bastard!
Lee: I heard Sasuke slept with Sai.
Naruto: And I heard you were sleeping with Hinata.
Lee: And you slept with Neji and everyone else Sasuke slept with.
Naruto: Hey! I didn't sleep with Itachi!
Lee: Wow, one less. That makes it so much better.
Naruto: Yes. Yes it does.
Lee: But you still slept with other people. More than once. I only slept with Hinata.
Naruto: *cough* ten times *cough*
Lee: But it was still only one person!
Naruto: I was unfaithful 6 times! 6! Against your 10, I'm a perfect angel!
Lee: You slept with those people more than once.
Naruto: Not all of them…
Lee: I bet it adds up to more than 10.
Naruto: And how would you know, Mr. no-sex-rule?
Lee: *eye twitch* I didn't want to sleep with Gaara and Hinata at the same time!
Naruto: And why would that be? Because you'd be in the middle?
Lee: *eye twitch* Shut up! You have no business in my sex life!
Naruto: So it is true. You are Gaara's bitch.
Lee: I never said that! It's not true!
Naruto: Oh really? Then why is it you're always limping instead of Gaara?
Lee: So what if I'm the uke? You are too!
Naruto: Not as often as you are,
Lee: How many times was Sasuke the uke? After all, it is in his name.
Naruto: I'd day around a quarter of the time. He's more possessive than you think.
Lee: You've only slept with him four times?
Naruto: No, every 4 times we get it on, he's the uke once. You have a very skewed sense of our libido.
Lee: And how often is he the uke after he comes back from screwing someone else?
Naruto: Never. He usually ukes before he leaves. Besides, I know he never really feels anything for tham. Especially after Orochimaru tongue-raped him.
Lee: And you tongue-raped him as soon as he got back.
Naruto: No! I was going to be first, but Orochimaru stole my idea!
Lee: *sweatdrop* I think we should change the subject.
Naruto: What, getting uncomfortable are we? Don't tell me you haven't thought about it too!
Lee: *goes red* Maybe…
Naruto: Stay away from my boyfriend, you whorish bitch!
Lee: Give me one reason I'm a bitch.
Naruto: Gaara.
Lee: One more.
Naruto: Sakura.
Lee: How did you know about that?
Naruto: Dude. Everyone knows.
Lee: Gaara doesn't. I know how to keep my affairs away from my boyfriend.
Naruto: Good for you. Care to share your secret?
Lee: I'd rather not.
Naruto: Damn.
Lee: That's all you have for a response?
Naruto: Yes. Don't insult my witty response!
Lee: Witty?
Naruto: Yes. Shut up.
Lee: Your insults sound like- OMG YOU SCREWED GAARA!
Naruto: Really? You only just realized this now?
Lee: WHY?
Naruto: Red-heads are hot.
Lee: I should kill you right now.
Naruto: Go ahead and try broccoli-boy.
Lee: Actually blondie, I'd rather not waste my energy killing you. I have to kill Kiba first.
Naruto: Why you! A wimp like you couldn't beat a tin can in a fight, let alone a top ninja like me!
Lee: A top ninja?
Naruto: *punches Lee*
Lee: *covers nose* Ow. It seems like someone's getting mad.
Naruto: Put your purse away! This is a no-weapons fight!
Lee: I think your worse with insults than Gaara is.
Naruto: And your more girly *coughgaycough* than Sakura!
Lee: Let's see if you're squeamish like Gaara. *wipes noseblood on Naruto's face*
Naruto: Ewww! You gave me AIDS, you bastard!
Lee: I'm pretty sure that I wasn't the one who gave you AIDS.
Naruto: You gave me AIDS! I can feel it spreading! You killed me! You can't kill anyone, wimp!
Lee: How did I kill you if I can't kill anyone?
Naruto: You can't! The writers won't allow it!
B: Or will we?
F: No, he hasn't slept with Lee yet. We have to make the fangirls happy.
B: Why did you say that? Now they know what we're going to do!
F: Don't worry. They still don't know who's gonna have the baby!
Lee: Baby? O.o
Naruto: Lol, you're gonna have a baby!
F: That's what you think…
Lee: Naruto has to have the baby! Wait. Is it our baby?
B: We've told you enough *gone*
Naruto: Lee, I'm scared.
Naruto and Lee: *hug each other in fright*
F: You should be. *poof*
Lee: Naruto, I can't move.
Naruto: Let go of me, creeper! *pushes Lee*
Lee: I can't move, idiot. Therefore, I can't let you go.
Naruto: MMMF! MM cmmt mmmpn mthmm. (I can't open my mouth)
Lee: What does your mouth have to do with anything?
Naruto: Mmmtnk (everything)
Lee: If your mouth is closed, you can't say no. Why did I say that?
Naruto: mm tm hmmll? (what the hell?)
Lee: *Randomly starts making out with Naruto*
WOOT yeah, I guess I forgot to mention, whenever the ~~~ appear, that means…unmentionable stuff happens. *uses mind control* Now, review. Then put this story on alert. And check out mah other stories. Theys be funny.