THE MAN'S SPORT

Summary: "They can't do this! We've worked so much harder, trained so much longer, sacrificed so much more!" Lily ranted. Alice smirked. "Well, you know what they say; if you can't beat them, join 'em." ...Quidditch-centric...

Inspired by Shakespeare's play "Twelfth Night, Liebesbrief's fanfic "Girl Got Game", Tamora Pierce's Alanna the Lioness" Series, and the movie "She's the Man".

Warnings: AU. Definitely AU. Oh, and there may be a lot of people depicted as being very sexist...also there may be swearing...this will be a Quidditch orientated fic.

Note: Words written in Italics are being spoken in French...the language which they speak at Beauxbatons. Also, I'm going with the books and saying that it is a co-ed school, like Hogwarts (in the movie, they make the school out to be an all female school...I was a bit like 'wtf' when I saw that).

Okay, here we go!

Chapter One - Beauxbaton's Big Mistake

"Pass it here!"

Quidditch. Was there ever a finer sport?

"Bludger! Duck!"

Whirls of colours, rapid and skilled swerving, players weaving in and out.

"Come on dude, I'm free!"

Lily Evans, captain and chaser, scowled angrily up at the fourteen players in the sky. She herself currently stood at the edge of Beauxbaton's Quidditch field, surrounded by four other girls who carried a crate of Quidditch balls between them. Each girl had a broom in hand, slung over their shoulder. Each looking equally put off at the players already on the field.

"What do they think they're doing?" Lily hissed, green eyes flashing. "We booked the pitch months ago! How dare they intrude?"

The other four girls made sounds of agreement. If looks could kill, there would be dead boys falling from the sky.

"Do you think they forgot?" A soft voice spoke up. Michaela Lefevre, seeker, as well as the youngest player on their team, was always determined to see the best in others. Even horrible boys who stole Quidditch fields on purpose.

"I highly doubt it," Alice Chevalier said, "They must've known. I think this is a message."

"Well then, they're just going to have to come down and say it too our faces," Lily said through gritted teeth, before pulling out her wand. She felt her entire team take a step back away from her. Somewhere under the layers of fury and anger, was a spark of amusement at their united movement; they knew how deadly she could be when pissed off.

The boys in the sky never saw it coming; one moment, the quaffle was being tossed at breakneck speed, and the next it just completely disappeared. All play halted as they looked around in confusion, trying to locate the missing red ball. It was only the shout that gained their attention; looking to the ground, they all saw the fiery red-head tossing their missing ball up and down.

Fourteen boys doved towards the ground, bludgers and snitches forgotten about.

"Oi Evans! What gives?" Sam Fitzroy, captain of Aigle (Beauxbaton's top Quidditch team), roared.

"What gives? I'll tell you what gives!" Lily growled, causing all the boys to take a step back, alarmed. "We booked the pitch months ago! Who the hell do think you are coming and taking our spot?"

"Why on earth would you still need the pitch?" Sam asked, laughing. That boy really had a death wish.

"Oh jeez, I don't know. Maybe to practice?" Lily said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Practice? So, you haven't heard?"

"Heard what?" There was a dangerous note in Lily's voice now.

One of Sam's team mates whispered desperately into the boy's ear. He nodded, before turning to wave the Quidditch coach over. There really was no need, since Coach Lima was coming over anyway, wanting to see what the disturbance in his team's play had been caused by.

"Evans!" Coach Lima said with a tone of surprise. "What are you doing on the field?"

"Well, I was going to play Quidditch, until they took over." It took a lot of energy for Lily to reply in her usual polite manner. She couldn't care less that her answer was probably rather short and disjointed.

"Ah..." the Coach trailed off uncomfortably, "I take it no one has told you, then?"

Seeing her best friend on the verge of an explosion, Alice dropped the crate so that she could grab Lily's shoulder. "Told us about what, coach?" She asked when it became clear that another word from Lily would cause the aforementioned explosion.

"Well...you girls haven't enough people to make up one team, not since graduation," Coach Lima said. And it was true; last year's graduation had taken a beater and a chaser from Lily's team, along with the entire opposing team who used to play. The younger Beauxbaton girls were highly reluctant to join in such a dangerous and "unlady-like" sport, leaving huge chunks from the female league which consisted of an already aging team. Still, Lily had hoped that this year there would be some willing to give the sport a go. No such luck, apparently.

"We've tried recruiting," Michaela spoke up. She was the youngest player on their team, and was already in her fourth year.

"You haven't had much luck, then," Sam said rather snidely, causing Lily to let out a warning growl.

"Look girls, I know the effort you've put in, but the problem is that you simply don't have enough to make a proper game," Coach Lima said apologetically. "With five players, you can't even fill out one team."

"Then let us join with the boys." Jo Fournier, short for Joanna (a name she absolutely detested), spoke up.

There was a moment of stunned silence, before all fourteen boys were on the ground, laughing. Even the coach's lips twitched, something that did not go unnoticed by the even more enraged Lily.

"We're just as good, we can hold our own," she spat, fingering her wand.

"Sorry, but we all know that no girl can play a man's sport better than...well, a man," Coach Lima smiled.

"Sexist pig," Jo growled, glaring holes through her once-favourite professor.

"Bottom line is," the coach carried on, having not heard Jo's interruption, "The girl's league has been cancelled, and your team has been scrapped. Sorry, but there's not much I can do."

"Not that you've tried," Jo muttered. Michaela shushed her before she could get in trouble.

"You cancelled our team." Lily repeated through gritted teeth.

"Don't be like that, Evans," Sam grinned, "You could always take up knitting or embroidery. Tell you what, if you learn how to knit, I'll let you take a ride on my broomstick."

The boys let out jeers and catcalls, unaware of the fury building up in the red head. It wasn't until the loud explosion of wood that stunned silence settled once more. The quaffle that had been tightly clutched in Lily's hand had exploded, showering the boys with red splinters.

"Most knitting needles are bigger than your broomstick," Lily said, furious green eyes contradicting her calm tone. She sent Sam another swift glare before spinning on her heels and marching off.

The other girls followed, taking their Quidditch crate with them and sending silent death threats at the boys, who were left to stare in disbelief at the remains of what had once been their beloved quaffle.

.

"I don't believe this!" Jo shouted, punching the wall in her anger.

"They can't do this! We've worked so much harder, trained so much longer, sacrificed so much more!" Lily ranted, her face turning as red as her hair, green eyes sparkling dangerously.

Jo growled. "Those sexist bastards!" She had always been the best at phrasing explicates.

"This must be illegal! We've always played Quidditch! They can't just cancel part of our life!" Violet Hastings said. A fifth year student, best friends with Jo, and with a twin brother at another magical school, Violet was usually on the calmer side. One would have to be, to balance out Jo's tomboyish tendencies.

The five girls were gathered in Michaela's room, each venting their frustration and anger in different ways. It was probably a good thing that the rest of the student (and staff) population were at dinner, or surely someone would have come in by now to tell them off for the amount of noise they were making.

Lily was pacing the room, red hair crackling with fury. Jo was still punching the wall; perhaps it was a good thing that Alice had put a cushioning charm on the girl's gloves so there wouldn't be any permanent damage. Violet was staring out the window at the dark sky outside, trying to calm herself down. Michaela was ripping a piece of spare parchment over and over again. And Alice?

She sat on Michaela's bed, a smug look on her face as she watched her friends rant. It wasn't until a good fifteen minutes later that they noticed her lack of anger.

"What are you looking so happy about?" Lily asked brusquely, toying with her Prefect's badge.

"I know how we can make those boys pay," Alice said simply.

"Huh?" Jo asked.

Alice smirked. "Well, you know what they say; if you can't beat them, join them."

The team eyed Alice warily - she was well known for her out-of-the-ordinary ideas; that was what made her the team's best strategist. Unfortunately, that also made her one of the sport's most dangerous players. And that glint in her eyes was definitely something worth worrying about.

It was Michaela who finally voiced the question. "What are you talking about?" She asked.

"Violet, what school does your twin go to?" Alice said instead.

Violet looked rather taken aback. "Sebastian? He goes to Hogwarts...oh no."

"Oh yes."

"Oh, what?" Lily asked eagerly, Jo and Michaela looking on curiously.

"Ladies, what is the finest Quidditch school in all of Europe?" Alice asked.

"Hogwarts, but...oh no," Michaela groaned.

"Oh yes," Alice said smugly.

"Oh what?" Lily demanded, with Jo frowning behind her.

"And what event occurs at the end of each year requires two Quidditch teams from both Hogwarts and Beauxbatons, along with Durmstrang?" Alice asked with a happy smile.

"Are you talking about the Interschool Quidditch Cup?" Jo asked, "Because, we've never actually played in that since we don't have enough...oh no."

"Oh yes," Alice grinned.

"Did we not just go through this?" Lily exploded.

Her best friend just laughed. "I'm surprised you haven't figured it out! And you call yourself a straight "O" student," she teased.

"Make fun of me later," Lily growled, "Just tell me right now what your plan is."

"Okay, picture this; we infiltrate Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, with a little help from Sebastian Hastings of course. Get onto their Quidditch teams. Become star players. At the end of the year, get chosen for one of the two All Stars teams that will play those sexist pigs. And kick their ass, of course," Alice added. "They'll be so impressed that they're gonna have to reinstate the girl's league."

Lily groaned. "Oh no."

"Oh yes."

"You do realise that the Hogwarts Quidditch teams are also all-male, right?" Lily asked, dropping to the floor in an exhausted heap.

"I know; but I also know a little thing called magic," Alice said, idly examining her nails.

"You want us to polyjuice as boys for a whole year?" Lily was sure that her voice had just broken the sound barrier.

Alice gave her a weird look. "No. You'd have to be pretty desperate to do that."

"Then what are you suggesting?"

"A haircut, looser clothes, male robes, sideburns, and a new identity."

"You seemed to have this all planned out," Violet said wryly, "Have you ever considered the fact that maybe my brother won't help us?"

"He's your twin; of course he'll help," Alice said.

Violet rolled her eyes, but didn't bother to say anything further. Next to her, Jo looked like she was actually considering the idea, whereas Michaela looked like she was about to faint if they agreed to it.

"There's no way we can pull it off," Michaela said softly, "The amount of paperwork required would be a dead-set giveaway. It's hard to create a new identity and forge all the paperwork required for it."

"Au contraire," Alice smirked, "My favourite aunt is the head of Britain's Department of Law Enforcement. I'm sure she'd be happy to pull some strings for us."

"Yeah, or you could ask her to make Coach Lima reinstate the girls Quidditch team," Lily retorted.

"She's in the British Ministry of Magic, not the French one."

"Alice, think about what you are saying," Lily pleaded, "You want us to go for a whole year as someone else who doesn't exist for the sake of showing up those boys. Everything we achieve will be under that alibi; this could potentially destroy our futures. How're you going to get all our parents to agree on this? I highly doubt my parents would let me just transfer out of Beauxbatons. And that's another thing; how do you know Hogwarts will accept us? Term's already been going for two weeks!"

"Lily," Alice interrupted patiently, "When we reveal ourselves, they'll transfer all that crap back under our real names. Besides, it's the N.E.W.T.S. that'll really count, and by then we'll be back in Beauxbatons. I'm sure we can think up some story to tell our parents so they'll sign the forms. Actually, I think almost all of our parents would agree to this - they all know how much Quidditch means to us. And trust me, Hogwarts will accept us; my aunt will see to that."

Bright green eyes silently observed Alice. "You're serious about this, aren't you?" Lily asked softly.

"Yes," Alice nodded. "Quidditch is my life; I will not spend the next two years without it, just because Coach Lima is a sexist bastard who doesn't believe that girls can keep up with boys."

Lily sighed, tugging at her vivid red hair in thought. She'd never done anything as risky as this. If they were found out...she didn't even want to think about what would happen. But what Alice said was also true. This was a chance to show those boys exactly what they were up against. A chance to prove, once and for all, that women could do anything and everything men could.

Seeing the doubts resolving themselves in her friend's eyes, Alice grinned. "Alright, let's start with names, shall we?" She asked, turning to the rest of the girls who had been momentarily forgotten about.

"Er...names?" Michaela asked.

"For our male identities, of course!" Alice exclaimed, "We'll change our names into their male forms! So you'll get to be...Michael! Michael Lefevre!"

"We're keeping our last names?" Michaela asked.

"Yep; makes it less confusing," Alice said cheerfully, "That way I won't have to remember to many things. Alright Jo –"

"I'll stay Jo, thanks," Jo said, "Besides, it can be a boys' name," she added in defence.

Alice shrugged. "Can't argue with that. I'll be...erm...Ali..Alex! Alex Chevalier! Always liked the name 'Alex'," she grinned.

"That's because you have a crush on Alex Moreau," Jo said.

"Your point?"

"What about me?" Violet asked with a frown.

"You can be...erm...Viola...Vi...Vix...Viv...V..." Alice stuttered, realising that they were all girls' names. "Yeah, I got nothin'."

"Her name is a hard one, isn't it?" Michaela mused.

"How about Brett?" Jo asked.

"Errr...what?"

"Yeah, something completely random. Since, you know, nothing else is really working."

"Brett Hastings," Violet grinned, "I like it."

Alice smirked in triumph, turning to Lily who threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. Her mind had obviously been made up for her; oh boy, Hogwarts would not know what hit her.

"Fine!" She sighed, before turning dangerous green eyes on the other girls, "But we have to win."

"We will," Alice said, brushing off her best friend's concerns, "You'll see."

"Pile in!" Jo shouted, "Alright Capt'n. Wanna start us off?"

"Allow me," Alice said when Lily stared at her Beater, stumped. "To Hogwarts," she said, sticking her hand to the middle of their circle.

"To Quidditch!" Violet exclaimed, putting her hand on top of Alice's.

"To dressing up as boys," Jo said cheekily, extending her hand.

"To winning," Michaela added, a fierce look in her normally calm eyes.

Lily looked around slowly at each member of what was left of her team. They all looked back at her, determined, fearless. They knew what they were doing, what they were sacrificing, what they were putting on the line. Yet they were willing to risk it all. Slowly, her mouth curved up into a grin. It didn't matter what they would face, what they would have to overcome. They were best friends, team mates, sisters. And they would show the world what they were capable of.

Her pale hand rested at the top of the pile.

"To kicking Beauxbaton's ass."

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