A/N: Welcome to my epic project. Written in eight months, I hope this fic brings some original ideas into the dead-beaten 'Naruto goes to Hogwarts' plot. If not, I hope you at least enjoy it on some other level.

About the fic: there are no pairings, and the story focuses on Naruto and Sasuke as they guard Hogwarts and meet the weird and wonderful of the wizard world. The story consists of loosely connected scenes with some hints strewn here and there which all come together in the final chapters.

It's finished, so I'll post this fic in two chapters a week, one on Monday, one on Friday (+1 GMT, so it might not be those days for you). I've got 120.000 words spread out over 22 chapters, so look forward to plenty of reading.

A final note: I'm ESL. I've proofread this to the best of my abilities, but in a fic this large some things might've snuck past me. Please tell me if you come across anything weird. Thanks.

Enjoy!

Of course they knew there was a world out there, but the five great shinobi countries (and the lesser shinobi countries) just didn't care about the rest of the world, as long as they didn't start a nuclear war which screwed up their climate. They kept to themselves and guarded their borders vigorously, keeping all intruders out. Even satellites couldn't get a clear image thanks to the unique conditions under which chakra thrived.

There was some interaction between the shinobi countries and the rest of the world, thanks to which they had gained electricity, plastic and other 'modern' inventions. But cars and other transports powered by combustion engines somehow never made it big in those countries. Mainly because you needed just one skilled earth-style-jutsu user to completely demolish highways or railroad tracks, making it a waste of time and money to keep on repairing them.

However, Fire Country had an airport. It was a private-run business and it only handled about two flights a week, but it existed nonetheless. And it was a good thing, Sasuke mused. Taking a ship all the way to a country called 'England' would take too long.

But he couldn't help but stare in awe at the monstrosity standing on tarmac with all kinds of lines drawn on the ground. That thing could fly?

"We gonna check in?," came a voice to Sasuke's left. Sasuke glanced at his teammate.

"As soon as you stop staring at the plane."

All he got was a disdaining "hmph" as they walked into the tiny terminal.

There were no security checks to speak off, because everyone running around in the terminal could kill a man with their bare hands and the metal detectors would go off all the time because of the many, many hidden weapons a typical shinobi carried around. The only test which was conducted sporadically was a random search for drugs and smuggleware. But lucky for the two shinobi, their backpacks went unchecked.

As such, all Naruto and Sasuke had to do was find the only check-in booth, check their luggage and get their travel documents stamped. Then the waiting began.

Naruto went off to gawk at the plane some more and Sasuke sat down on one of the benches but kept his senses on full alert. Even in a Fire Country airport there could still be a threat.

After an hour had passed a voice crackled over the intercom. "Flight 2a will be departing shortly. Stops will include: Suna, Tokyo, New Delhi, Dubai, Rome, Amsterdam and London before traveling on to the USA. Calling all travelers to flight 2a."

Sasuke was already on his feet by the time the announcement repeated itself and looked outside to search for his orange-clad teammate. A slight drizzle dripped down the windows, cooling the hot August air.

"Oi, Sasuke, they're calling out our flight," yelled Naruto across the terminal. Sasuke twitched. The 15-year-old had made chuunin somehow, but he could sometimes still be as obnoxious as when he was twelve.

"I heard," he replied and threw Naruto's satchel at him. It was going to be a long flight, so Sasuke had stuffed his satchel with various scrolls to keep him busy. He prayed Naruto had done the same, else he'd Chidori him out the plane before they'd even reached Tokyo and give his teammate an impromptu skydiving lesson.

"Well what are you waiting for? Let's go!" said Naruto and dashed off, satchel clutched in one hand. They had to walk (or in Naruto's case: run) across the tarmac to hop into the plane. Sasuke had zero experience with planes, so he only knew that this was a relatively small one, compared to some he had seen in movies or pictures. It was blue on top with a white underside, sporting kanji on the fin informing him that the plane belonged to Kaelem Cityhopper. He paused for a second on the top of the ladder leading into the plane to appraise the engines. They looked powerful, but in his mind he readied some jutsu in case of engine failure, and he went inside. Naruto had already claimed the window seat and was busy being as hyperactive as … himself, really. Sasuke kept an eye on the other travelers.

There were three shinobi, all from Konoha. All three of them were Chuunin, but Sasuke couldn't put their faces to a name. One of the three sported a scroll which he read rather intensely.

Other travelers were businessmen or women, clutching black suitcases and as soon as they sat down they flipped open their tiny computers and began typing away. There were some kids, a few tourists, and some casually dressed people Sasuke couldn't pin down right away. Though if their behavior was any kind of indication, they were shinobi in disguise.

The flight attendant began a quick briefing on safety procedures and Sasuke had to elbow his teammate to call his attention to it. No way that he was going to pull the floatation device over Naruto's head if the plane crashed. Shortly after that the captain of the plane introduced herself and started up the engines, which gave such an unexpected roar that Sasuke clutched a kunai before he even realized he had grabbed one.

The tourists in the seats across the aisle gawked at this casual display of constant vigilance and Sasuke wanted to throw Naruto out of the plane because of his incessant laughing fit at his expense.

Thankfully the tug at his navel shut Naruto up as the plane began to accelerate. Sasuke couldn't help but stare out of the window as well, amazed that this thing would fly them all the way to England. Sure, he knew about lift and thrust, but experiencing it was something else.

The roar of the engines grew as the tarmac and its white lines flashed past, and finally the plane gained enough momentum to take to the sky. The ground dropped rapidly and soon Sasuke could see the green forests of Fire Country spread below.

They kept on climbing, higher and higher until he swore he saw all five great shinobi countries, ranging from the desert to the mist country. Pretty soon after that the world disappeared in a blue haze in the distance and white clouds as they climbed above the clouds themselves, bathing the small plane in perpetual sunlight.

Briefly he entertained himself with the thought of what kind of havoc one plane could wreck on other countries. If they'd stay up where no jutsu could hit them, the Fire Country would reign supreme. Sasuke snapped out of his daydream when the flight attendant pushed a cart past him which accidentally clipped his elbow. Naruto was still busy looking out the window, his features relaxed.

"Sir, would you like something to drink?" the flight attendant asked in a slightly-accented voice.

"Lemonade."

He elbowed his teammate, who responded by elbowing him back without even looking away from the window. Sasuke sighed and resisted the urge to punch him.

"Oi, dumbass, you want something?"

This got Naruto's attention and after grinning at the flight attendant he requested a soda. After receiving their drinks the flight attendant turned towards the tourists and asked them the same question.

Sasuke smirked when the flight attendant's back was turned. Kakashi-sensei had warned them that in the 'outside-world' they'd be regarded as children. It appeared that this flight attendant had dealt with shinobi before, because he had been just as respectful towards them as he was towards the (adult) tourists. Well, if you could call Naruto an 'adult', Sasuke thought as his teammate glued his face onto the window, making all kinds of 'ooh'-noises.

The flight attendant moved on to the next seats, leaving Sasuke looking unexpectedly in the eyes of the tourists across the aisle. He didn't know exactly how he knew they were tourists. They might as well be just civilians, but they wore clothes he didn't associate with Fire Country inhabitants, and their faces were … wrong. Unfamiliar. That, and they spoke English, a language they had to learn the hard way for this mission. Pretty much a dead give-away.

Sasuke sipped his lemonade as he thought about the mission, but before he could get very far a voice to his right interrupted him.

"Excuse me, young man?" said the male tourist in Sasuke's native tongue, though with a much heavier accent than the flight attendant. Sasuke threw him a look but didn't reply. He didn't fancy foreign civilians striking up a conversation with him. But the tourist pressed on.

"You hail from secret town, right?"

Sasuke raised one eyebrow at the man's weird-worded sentence but pieced together what the man meant to say. That still didn't mean that he was going to reply. Sadly, Naruto had heard the man's question as well and since his teammate was an idiot, the blond answered the question with much enthusiasm.

"Yeah, we're from Fire Country!"

He gestured towards his headband and grinned. This seemed to put the man (and the woman next to him) more at ease and he continued the stunted conversation.

"I am pleased to meet you. I and Lily, my wife, went on a break- a vacation in your country. Logically we not visit secret town, but I compliment you to your country. The people are amazing and the forests are amazing."

Finally the woman gathered enough courage to pipe in as well, much to Sasuke's displeasure. He foresaw much questions from the tourists, most of which he likely wouldn't be able to answer without killing them afterwards.

"And the food too is amazing. Are you from Konoha, maybe?"

Sasuke stiffened, but then relaxed. Anybody traveling in Fire Country would hear of Konoha sooner or later, and since Naruto had just confirmed they were shinobi, the woman had made a logical deduction that they were from Konoha.

Apparently Naruto had reached the same conclusion and nodded, at which the woman squealed with pleasure. She babbled something to her husband in rapid English at an impossible speed. Sasuke suddenly feared for his language skills, even though he had mastered basic conversational skills in English. He hoped that not everybody would talk this fast or he'd have to spend more hours studying texts.

"Hey," Naruto said and poked him in his side, which earned him a swift punch on the thigh, "wanna switch places? Since you're in a stick-up-the-ass mood and these people seem nice."

Sasuke shrugged and got out of his seat. Might as well rob his teammate of the window seat so he could stare outside for a while. You know, to meditate and think about the upcoming mission. Or maybe look at the sprawling ocean below. For a little bit.

Naruto enthusiastically launched himself from his seat, totally forgetting his soda on the fold-out tray. With shinobi reflexes he grabbed the can and saved himself and his seat from a sticky fate. With much shuffling Sasuke squeezed himself past his teammate in the narrow aisle and sat down again, grabbing his left-over lemonade in one smooth motion.

"Hi," chirped Naruto in his best innocent voice at the tourists. "I'm Daiki and that's Hisoka. What's your name, mister?"

Sasuke had to suppress a smirk at the fake names given to them. 'The great one' and 'the secretive one'. Tsunade had a hand in that, no doubt.

Naruto kept on chatting with the tourists, all wide-eyed and positively gleaming. Trust Naruto to play the 'Genin going on first big mission'-part well. He didn't understand why his teammate wanted to chat with the tourists so badly, it wasn't as if they had any useful information. Hell, maybe they didn't even get off the plane at Heathrow.

Maybe Naruto just wanted some attention and had to get it from other sources than Sasuke. They'd be strangers in a foreign world all too soon, chucking them together like a bad sit-com.

"My name? I apologize, I forget saying my name. I'm James. I am pleased to meet you, Daiki, Hisoka.

The environment, Sasuke decided, was incredible. Sure, Konoha had a shopping district, with all kinds of shops crammed together so tight sometimes a shinobi took to the roofs to suppress any 'must-kill-I'm-surrounded-by-enemies' instincts.

But if that place inspired that sentiment already, no shinobi should come here. Every shopping window displayed flashing, moving stuff, ranging from live owls to broomsticks hovering in the air to exploding cauldrons. And the people, the masses of witches and wizards, all poking about and dragging children and heavy shopping bags and standing in the street talking to each other…

Sasuke forced himself to let go of his kunai and breathed deeply in and out. No random murderer here, please keep on looking. He barely suppressed the urge to stick a kunai in his teammate as he bumped against his elbow.

"Robes?" sputtered Naruto as he regarded his shopping list. Sasuke looked down at the neatly written list on unfamiliar paper (parchment, the employer called it) and scanned the items. Indeed, it said 'robes', along with 'Shop: Madam Hoochkins robes for the fashionable wizard and witches'. He scanned the small list of items and was secretly glad he understood what other supplies they had to buy. Even if a 'wand' sounded rather preposterous, at least he knew what it was.

"We have to get robes," sneered Sasuke, "so we won't stand out."

"Yeah, I know, but still… robes? And we'll stand out anyway, it's not like they're gonna think we're students or anything, not with our masks and vests."

"Just… do what the employer wants."

"There you are!" said Giant Fuzzball, as Naruto had dubbed him. "It's easy to get lost without a guide, y'know. Dumbledore entrusted me this task so don't go running off now." He said all this in his incomprehensible accent, and he sounded accusing.

Naruto smiled at Giant Fuzzball. "Sorry, we get joyed and we want to see."

Which actually wasn't that far from the truth. Naruto simply dragged Sasuke along and he didn't put up much of a struggle.

"Alright, come on then, what d'you guys need first?"

"Robes," Sasuke decided after a second glance at his list. Might as well blend in as soon as possible. They'd opted for inconspicuous clothes, something which any 'muggle' would wear. Hopefully.

"This way, lads."

Giant Fuzzball (Sasuke might have to listen in on a conversation later on, because for the life of him he couldn't remember the giant's name) led the way, cutting a path through the masses.

Pretty soon Sasuke stood on a stool with an old woman fussing over his body. Next to him Naruto experienced the same, though he got molested by a nervous-looking young fellow.

"School robes, you say?" the woman asked and nodded to herself. Before she sprinted off to gather the unedited robes Sasuke responded:

"No. I did not say anything yet. We need … normal robes. Usual robes. A robe to wear over other clothes."

"You mean a cloak?"

The word sounded unfamiliar to Sasuke, so he scowled. The employer hadn't been precise in his description, and the list wasn't clear either.

"Yes. And normal robes. Both."

Since the employer paid for it anyway, might as well err on the side of caution.

"For him too." Sasuke pointed at Naruto, who paid too much attention to the young man getting too close to his nether regions to decide whether they needed robes or a 'cloak'.

"I'll be paying for them," said Giant Fuzzball and shook a promising-sounding wallet, to which Madam Hoochkin herself happily began measuring up Sasuke. She frowned, however, when her hand met an unfamiliar pouch full of hard things.

"Young man, if you've got anything underneath your clothes, please remove it. Or else your robes won't fit," she said sternly and gestured towards Naruto. "Same goes for you."

The two shinobi exchanged glances and Naruto shrugged. 'Might as well do as she says, it's not like they're skilled enough to kill us', Sasuke read in that shrug. Still, he didn't remove the hidden senbon needles in his shoe. But he got rid of the kunai pouch strapped to his thigh, the hidden holster in the small of his back full of senbon needles, the pouches at his hips underneath his wide shirt containing some basis scrolls and shuriken and the kunai hidden in his sleeves. With every pouch he removed from his body the onlooker's eyes got bigger and when he and Naruto finally slid the kunai from their sleeves the woman was close to panicking.

Sasuke glanced at the pile of weapons and he saw why this might intimidate a civilian.

"Alright, that's it," he announced and got back up on the stool. The return to normalcy seemed the shake Madam Hoochkin from her near-panic attack and she still eyed the pile of weapons suspiciously, but for some reason she didn't ask questions. Maybe she'd dealt with shinobi before. She certainly looked old enough for that to be true.

"You're ninja, then?" she confirmed her suspicions and Sasuke saw no reason to deny. Especially with that much evidence on the floor.

"Shinobi, yes," he corrected and glared at Naruto to keep him quiet. He didn't want his teammate to announce their hidden village at every turn. Even though… Sasuke felt at his forehead and his hand met cold metal. Maybe they shouldn't wear their forehead protectors in public. He'd forgotten he wore it.

Convincing Naruto to give up his would be fun.

It took the woman and her helper some time to fit the robes to their preferences (that is: able to move freely in) but pretty soon they tucked their weapons back in their pouches and roamed the streets of Diagon Alley, though this time wearing the cloak to blend in. Sasuke snatched the headband from Naruto's forehead and after a soft but heated debate convinced his teammate to not wear it, at least for the time being.

Giant Fuzzball lorded them around, talking about this shop and that in his incomprehensible accent and Sasuke soon lost himself in the buzzing of the shops.

Most shops had extravagant windows, displaying all kinds of amazing gear. One however, stood out because of the empty shopping window, save for one thing: a stick on a faded purple pillow. Naruto was about to walk past it when Giant Fuzzball put a hand on his shoulder.

"Have you lads got wands, yet?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke, and Sasuke shook his head. Naruto dug into his limited knowledge of this world to check if he had come across the concept 'wand' before, but as usual all his brain produced was a big 'eh?'. Giant Fuzzball interpreted Sasuke's shake as a 'no' aimed at him, and with his huge hands pulled Naruto towards the shop.

"In you go then. A wand is very important for a wizard, y'know."

Naruto didn't bother explaining that they were shinobi, not wizards. Giant Fuzzball seemed incapable of remembering that fact, and treated them like kids new to the wizarding world. Which they were, but they were far from naive.

The moment they entered the store every sound from the street vanished, as if they'd stepped into another world. The store felt like the gaping maw of an otherworldly beast. It set the hairs on Naruto's neck on end, but even so, there was enough to look at to make him forget the weird atmosphere. An old man whizzed up to them, wheezing out a few words before disappearing in a back room.

"With you in a minute!"

In there the old man proceeded to create giant crashing sounds, as if he had decided to forcefully redecorate using nothing but a sledgehammer and an ice pick. Naruto couldn't help but wander over to the tantalizing wall of boxes and pull one out. It held a large wooden stick, laid on a velvet purple pillow. The stick was made of a light wood, lighter at the tip and dark at the bottom. Before Sasuke or Giant Fuzzball could stop him, he picked it up.

It promptly exploded in his hand.

Immediately both shinobi had their weapons out and looked around for any other hidden traps. Had Giant Fuzzball herded them into one? What did the old man want with two Konoha shinobi?

The loud bang called the old man swiftly back into the store, and his gaze slid from the empty box to the wooden splinters to Naruto. He cocked his head at the display of kunai.

"Shinobi then? Welcome to my store."

The old man spoke the last sentence in their native language, and the old man chuckled when he had their undivided attention.

"I've traveled the hidden countries when I was young lad. I'm afraid that I've forgotten a lot of your language, so pardon my English. What hidden village are you from, if I may ask?"

Gradually, Naruto began to relax, but kept hold of his kunai. The old man acted nice enough, and he saw no signs of any hidden traps in the store. Perhaps the exploding wand had been just an accident.

"Why did the stick, no, wand, go explode?" asked Sasuke. The old man smirked. Naruto kept a firm grip on his kunai.

"Because you have too much magic, you call it chakra. These wands are made for wizards, so they can't handle the amount of chakra you have circling in your bodies. That's why it exploded. But lucky for you, I've got some stronger, thicker wands made especially for shinobi. There's a clan in the hidden Wood country who use magic, and I create wands for them. Are you from Wood country, by any chance?"

Naruto had trouble understanding the man's exact words, but he got the gist of it. Something about them being too strong for these twigs to handle. He put his kunai back, and encountered his forehead protector in the pouch. Should he... Nah, it was too dangerous to let the man know which hidden village they hailed from.

"No, we're not from Wood country," Sasuke curtly answered the man's question. Apparently, he deemed the man safe enough (maybe Sasuke's Sharingan had given him more information), because he actually got his forehead protector out and angled it so the man saw the symbol etched into it.

"Ah, Konoha then." The man smiled at a memory. "Those trees had the perfect wood to make thick wands from... Is Sarutobi still your hokage?"

Naruto narrowed his eyes at that. How much did this man exactly know about their village? They better weigh their words more. On their first day, already meeting someone on the other side of the world who knew about their hokage probably wasn't a good sign.

"No, he died a few years back."

The old man frowned when Sasuke announced that. He seemed genuinely saddened, the wrinkles in his face adding to the effect of old paper about to tear with distress. "I'm sorry to hear that. But let's leave the past the past and focus on the present. You fine shinobi need wands? Please wait here, I'll go grab the special wands for you."

The man once again disappeared to the back of his shop and Naruto shared a meaningful look with Sasuke. What had that been all about? The man claimed to have traveled the shinobi countries, and he possessed knowledge that no wizard his displayed thus far. What did that mean for them, could they trust him or did they have to be extra careful with what they said?

"Which of you want to go first?" asked the old man. Sasuke stepped forward, and grabbed a measuring tape out of mid-air when it lunged for his face. He gave the old man a dirty look, and the man smiled apologetically.

"Terribly sorry, but I need to get your measurements in order to give you a proper wand. What's your main hand?"

Sasuke held one hand on a kunai in his pouch, and allowed the measuring tape to wriggle out of his other hand, but remained quiet otherwise. Naruto hadn't understood the question, and neither had Sasuke apparently. The old man got the hint and reworded his question.

"I mean: which hand do you use the most?"

"Right."

The measuring tape flitted about Sasuke, and the shinobi shifted uncomfortably, his eyes tracking the tape without fail. Naruto didn't blame him.

"Yes, that's enough," snapped the old man at the tape, and it fell lifelessly to the ground like a rubber hose. The man lifted the lid from a box he pulled from the wall and handed Sasuke a thick wand.

"Go on, give it a wave. Ash, 11 inches, core of a phoenix feather."

Sasuke had barely touched it before the old man yanked it from Sasuke's hand.

"No, that won't do. Try this one."

The man kept on giving and taking various wands, each time describing the core qualities of the wands. At the sixth wand, Sasuke hit the jackpot. When he gave the wand a flick it spewed sparks and a content expression settled on Sasuke's face.

"Well, it seems the wand has chosen the wizard, or in this case, the shinobi. The wood comes from one of Konoha's trees, so perhaps that resonates within you. Twelve inches, with a dragon heartstring core and reinforced with cockatrice feathers. Next shinobi, please."

Sasuke stepped back and gave Naruto the floor. Naruto noticed Sasuke flicked the wand a few times and every time sparks shot out of it. Naruto wasn't looking forward to this. Maybe the old man didn't have a wand for him, because of his 'special condition'. Or maybe no wand would be able to deal with a demon's chakra. If a regular wand already exploded when Naruto hadn't molded any chakra, what good would a reinforced stick be when it would have to channel the full extent of demon chakra?

But the man measured Naruto (who felt somewhat violated) and handed him a wand after asking what his main hand was. Naruto readied himself for an explosion, but the wand miraculously held. The old man didn't let him enjoy this not-explosion for long, and snatched it from Naruto's hand while pressing a new one into it at the same time. Naruto saw that this man had done that a thousand times before.

The pile of rejected wands grew ever larger, but Naruto didn't know why. He could channel chakra through any material, be it metal or wood. What exactly needed to happen? He didn't know if he had to make sparks fly in order to get a wand, but he could make fire, no problem. The old man muttered the specs of every wand, but Naruto had long since stopped paying attention to those. When the man fell quiet, he paid attention again.

"This... might be what you're looking for..." The old man was hesitant, but finally handed Naruto a extremely thick and short wand. "Also from Konoha wood, but with the core of manticore's mane, reinforced with dragon scales. Nine inches."

The moment Naruto touched the wand he knew this was the one. Sure enough, sparks flew when he flicked it. He felt his face stretch into a dopey smile. The rumbling voice of Giant Fuzzball sounded behind Naruto and he had forgotten the huge man was present.

"So you managed to make wands out of the mane I gave you? Impressive."

The old man took the compliment graciously and started putting the many discarded wands away. "What's more impressive is that you managed to get manticore's mane in the first place. Though I guess you've got your size working for you."

Giant Fuzzball shifted uneasily and got up. The chair he sat in creaked and Naruto swore he heard it sigh in relief. "Yes, well, they're like big kittens if you know how to handle them. How much for the wands?"

The change of subject was as obvious as a donkey in a zebra herd and Naruto sensed that the giant man was hiding something. Naruto made a mental note to check that out later, but for now let his fingers run up and down the wand, creating more sparks. Amazing how little chakra he needed to get a response out of this thing. Molding chakra was harder with your hands than with this thing, he suspected.

"These wands are a bit more expensive, since they're rather ... unique. So that'll be ten Galleons each, please."

Giant Fuzzball grimaced at the apparently steep price, but paid nonetheless. The pair slipped into a quick conversation about manticore mane and other ingredients needed for wands, which left the shinobi time to talk amongst themselves.

"Think these things are gonna make our lives easier?" asked Naruto, but Sasuke's face was as stoic as ever. He kept on fingering his wand, and surreptitiously stepped on some sparks that had begun to smolder on the wooden floor before answering.

"We'll have to wait and see. If everybody is proficient at performing magic, we'll have to watch our backs. But now we're capable of learning magic as well. So we'll have to wait-"

"And see," Naruto finished for him. "I hope mine doesn't explode when I use some 'special' chakra."

Apparently Sasuke hadn't thought of that yet, because Naruto saw his eye give a twitch. He saw the gears turning in Sasuke's head, and predictably he said:

"You stay far away from me while you try that."

Naruto grinned at Sasuke and opened his mouth to retort but Giant Fuzzball had finished the transaction and conversation and ushered them out of the shop while thanking the old man. Belatedly the shinobi said "thanks" and then they once again disappeared into one of the many, many shops of Diagion Alley.