Clary wandered through the bookstore slowly, glancing up at the shelves every couple steps. Luke had gone-something with one of the guys getting into a fight from the pack-so she was alone and now, she thought, would be a prime time to start researching her…condition.

Her heart leaped slightly at the thought but she shoved the feeling down, focusing instead of the books-health…exercising…diets…pregnancy. There. She reached up her hand-

"What are you doing?"

Clary spun, heart pounding, to find Mia standing at the end of the isle with a raised eyebrow.

"Um…"

Mia walked down the isle to where Clary stood and looked up at the books. Her face never changed as she noticed the section Clary was in. Instead, she simply asked, "Does Jace know?"

Clary looked down at the floor, her cheeks turning slightly pink. It was only Mia, but still…she was young. They were young. "Yes" She finally answered. "He's excited."

"Well that's good." She answered glancing at the books. "Want some help? My cousin had a kid about a year before I left so I know a couple things first-hand."

Looking up at the girl, face still slightly pink, Clary nodded slowly. Mia smiled and reached up to grab one of the books. "Come on," she said. "We can talk by the counter and if anyone asks-research project."

A small smile passed Clary's face. "Thanks, Mia." She whispered.

The other girl shrugged-"No problem"-as they headed towards the register and dropped the book open to begin.

Three hours later, Clary's head was full of terms and symptoms-morning sickness should stop after the first three months, tiredness may continue to get worse during the second trimester, the heartbeat will beat extremely fast-and her own heart seemed to feel slightly more anxious at all the things ahead of her. And yet, for the first time, a new feeling was brewing inside, one she wasn't quite sure of, but one that wasn't negative…excitement perhaps.

Mia shut the book and disappeared between the shelves to replace it, coming back within a moment. "Feel more educated?" She asked with a grin.

Clary smiled back, nodding. "Much. Thanks again for all your help. I'm not sure that I could have read through it alone without crying…"

"It'll be alright," Mia answered, switching the OPEN sign to CLOSED on the door and shutting the deadbolt. "If anyone can handle this, it's you and Jace. But, I'd be curious at how he's feeling."

Clary's eyebrows came together above the cash register as she counted the money. "What do you mean? He said he was excited."

"Of course," Mia answered calmly coming over to help with the money. "But he's a guy. They don't always show the way they're really feeling…especially Jace. I mean, if he's not trying to pick a fight with any of the downworlders then he's probably fine but…" she shrugged glancing at Clary who had been standing motionless watching her. "I'm guessing he's not as calm as he appears."

"Do you think he's freaking out?" Clary asked quickly. Her mind rushed to Jace- the look on his face when he was with Valentine staring at the portal, the open anguish on his face the night he stood at her bed begging for one night with her despite their believed relation, the cold emotionless mask he wore as he tried to pretend nothing was wrong so many times. He didn't have any of those looks on his face did he? She searched her mind, searching his face again for anything that suggested, but she couldn't quite remember.

"I'm not sure." Mia's voice broke through Clary's thoughts. "I mean, sometimes Jace is hard to understand. Actually, most times he's hard to understand."

Clary frowned. "I think I'm going to go back over there. Make sure he's ok."

Mia shut the cash register drawer and wrote the profit in a record book. "Don't you have to go home?"

But Clary just shrugged. "I've been late before. I'll just deal with my Mom when I get back." She grabbed her jacket and headed for the door. "Mia?"

Mia looked up.

"Would you mind not saying anything yet?" Clary's hand unconsciously slid over her small, hidden bump. "So far only Jace knows. I um…just found out so we haven't really…"

"Oh ya, lips are sealed." Mia offered as Clary's voice dropped, pretending to zipper her lips shut. Clary let out a small chuckle, and headed out the door.

When she got to the Institute, she hurried straight to Jace's room, thankfully not passing anyone in the hallway (she wasn't supposed to be there this late-Jocelyn's orders) but he wasn't there. For a moment, her heart froze-was he out picking a fight?- but she forced herself to be calm: there were other places he could be. She headed for the kitchen but stopped before she got far- if this was bothering Jace at all then he defiantly wouldn't be eating. Instead, he'd be either in the garden or training room. She decided to try the training room first; it was closer.

She heard him before she even reached the door. The wooden beams in the room sounded as though someone was jumping on them, a sound even someone as graceful as Jace couldn't prevent. She opened the door and there he was, in his training gear, covered in a sheen of sweat, jumping from beam to beam with the grace and agility only Jace processed. It struck her again how beautiful he was and for a moment, she once more envisioned a smaller toddler version running through the same room, jumping on the mats, trying to mimic his father. She shook her head to clear the vision and shut the door. He didn't seem to notice. It looked as though he had been in there for quite awhile; she forced down a wave of guilt.

"Jace?"

He spun, balancing on a beam ten feet above her head, staring down at her as though he was pulled from a trance. She noticed that he didn't have a safety harness on.

"Um…how long have you been in here?"

He shrugged, his chest moving slightly faster then normal.

"Wanna come down?"

He nodded, jumping down the beams until he stood in front of her. Up close, Clary noticed the slight unease on his face. Mia had been right, she thought with another pang of guilt.

"How was work?" Jace asked, looking at her for a brief moment then at something past her. He seemed tense, she noticed.

"Good." She answered with her mind half paying attention to the conversation. Maybe he really was taking this badly. "Mia was there. We um…researched."

His eyes darted back to hers. "Researched?"

Clary nodded. "About what's going to happen to me. What's…changing and how the…baby is growing."

She noticed that his breath hitched at the word "baby" and she raised her eyes nervously to him. He was looking at her still, but he didn't look angry. He looked…slightly scared. Again, she felt the guilt.

"How far is it now?" He asked, after a moment's silence.

"Um…well it's just starting now, but in another week or two there's gonna be a heartbeat."

"A heartbeat." Jace's voice sounded far away as he looked away, thoughtful, or mind-blown.

She touched his shoulder. "Are you sure your ok?"

His eyes came back to hers filled with the pain she had seen before when he was near Valentine. "I'm…well…yes. It's just taking me a little while to get used to. I mean…look at the father I knew. What kind of example is that? What if…"

"Jace." Clary's voice sounded firm, and she was surprised at her own confident appearance while her own heart was beating quickly in her chest. "You are not him. I know you: your good. And don't you dare give me any crap about you almost gave in or you basically did that…in the end, you did the right thing and that took more strength than anything."

His eyes still looked slightly doubtful, but he said nothing. "I love you, Jace." Clary whispered softly, wanting his pain to disappear. "I wouldn't want anyone else to be the father. You're the one that I trust with my whole heart."

Jace suddenly stepped back. "You shouldn't trust me." His voice was low and cold.

Clary's eyebrows came together and she frowned. "What do you mean I shouldn't…Jace of course I can trust-"

"No."

Jace turned and suddenly jumped up onto the beam closest to them, thrusting himself into the air while Clary called after him.

He didn't stop, but instead increased the force behind his actions creating a beautiful but almost freighting show of speed, agility and strength as he balanced high into the air.

With tears forming in her eyes as she watched him, Clary turned to leave, but suddenly stopped. Jace did not have a right to treat her that way. She was carrying his child for Angel's sake so if anything she deserved to know what was wrong: hadn't he learned that by now? Hadn't she deserved that by now?

Her tears turning into determination, she broke into a jog towards the first beam and jumped, reaching it with her hands and climbing up. Her balance, she thought, was not the same quality as his, but still, she was a Shadowhunter and she had been training so she could be fine…right?

But the image of his back ran through her mind and, suddently angry again, she began running down the beam to jump to the next one. Her feet padded down the beam and she braced her muscles preparing to jump-

"CLARY!" Strong arms came around her as she leaped into the air and she was falling-they were falling- down onto the padding below. She landed on his chest, his arms like a protective cage around her, confused. His arms pushed her away slightly, so that she was sitting up and he was right in front of her, sitting also, holding her shoulders, his face pale and angry.

"What are you doing! Clary you can't be doing that stuff. What if you fell from that second beam instead of the one only five feet up? What if you landed on a beam! The baby!" His words came out quick and worried, and she felt her cheeks turning bright red for the second time that night. Of course, the baby. He was right: it had been stupid.

He breathed in, and let it out slowly, his eyes loosing their anger and his color returning. "Are you ok?" he asked. "Is the baby ok? How would we know…what if that's all it takes…-"

"The baby's fine." She found her voice saying, knowing somehow instinctively that it was true; that a fall only the height of five feet wouldn't hurt the baby. But the look on his face, the worry that the baby could be hurt, caused her heart to twinge and a small smile to grow on her face.

"You sure?"

She ran her hand over the bump and nodded.

Jace took another breath in and let it out. "Why do you have to always scare me like that?"

"Because you just walk away without telling me what's wrong." She answered, glaring at him.

His mouth twitched just slightly and he tensed; Clary felt the anger vanishing. She reached up to move a piece of golden hair away from his eyes. "Jace, tell me what's wrong," she said, softly.

His golden eyes rested on her, softly, and he leaned slightly into her hand. After a moment he whispered, "I…lost it and told…Maryse." Clary froze. "I'm sorry. She just…I wasn't myself. I could only think about the baby and being a…a…a father and I just…lost it."

His eyes looked back at her, searching and she found her heart was beating extremely fast. "Maryse…knows?"

He nodded. "And Iz. She was there." He was still tense; her hand still in his hair.

Her first thought was to panic: she wasn't ready for this-Mia was one thing, but Maryse? But after a moment, her thoughts started to slow…Maryse was going to find out anyway so it was almost better to get it over with…but then…

"She would have called my Mom."

Jace's eyes widened.

Jocelyn would be waiting, she realized, waiting up for her with a nice long speech, Luke probably not too far away to pitch in. But she didn't want to deal with that tonight. Her emotions were about shot for the day.

"Well, if my Mom knows, then I can't get into much more trouble then I'm already in."

"Stay here then." Jace said, his eyes looking at her. "Jocelyn hates me already…once she knows she could literally ban me from seeing you. This might be the only night we have."

"She can't ban us forever."

"She might try."

"Well then," Clary leaned forward to rest her forehead on Jace's (now dry) one. "I guess we better make use of it."