Chapter One

Belle

There is no such thing as slowing down in the life of a whore. No such thing as stopping to smell the flowers. Cos if you do, you'll be out of business in the blink of an eye. And we wouldn't want that, would we? Even though my heart was broken and I wanted nothing more than to make things okay, my life had to go on.

It was a typical Tuesday afternoon. I was with a client, who had booked me for two hours at £300 an hour. He was about forty, with a muscular physique, dark hair, and penetrating blue eyes. Sounds perfect, right? Wrong. Normally I love it when clients book me for extended periodsof time, but not this client. I couldn't wait to get rid of him.

I was on top, moving my hips furiously. Blowing a stray strand of hair out of my eye, I glanced over at the clock on my bedside stand. Forty-five minutes. We'd been shagging for forty-five minutes. And he still hadn't cum. Shit. "Oh, yeah," I gasped, hoping that by encouraging him that I could speed things up a bit.

"Talk dirty," the client commanded, biting his lip hard enough the turn the skin white.

"Fuck me, big boy," I replied huskily, moaning loudly.

"Yeah!"

"Oh, you're so big!" I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that one. The client was actually rather tragically endowed. No wonder he had to resort to fucking prostitutes to get off.

"I'm close!" Thank God!

With a loud groan, the client finally climaxed. Panting, I dropped down onto the pillow next to him. "One down," I muttered under my breath. One more hour…

"What was that?" he asked, turning to face me.

"Nothing."

"That was fucking amazing!" The client grinned, satisfied.

"Sure was." I laughed nervously.

"Did you cum?"

"What?"

"Did you cum?" he repeated, staring into my eyes.

"Of course," I lied, patting his hand assuredly. I had been so distracted that I hadn't been able to orgasm. But telling the client that wasn't exactly good protocol.

The client sat up and started to get his clothes on. "Well, I hate to fuck and run, but I've got to get back to work."

"But we've still got another hour," I reminded him.

"That was just in case I couldn't cum in an hour."

"Oh. Well, let me give you back some of the money…"

"No, keep it. Consider it a tip. For a job well done."

"Thank you." Now I felt guilty for wanting to be rid of him.

" I really should go. My wife usually calls around 4 to see what I want for dinner. If I'm not there, she'll get suspicious," he explained.

"You're married." It wasn't exactly shocking. A lot of my clients are married. Sometimes their wives won't have sex with them, or they have a fetish that they're too embarrassed of to fulfill with anyone except a prostitute. Some just like to feel special by having sex with women half their age. In this business nothing shocks me anymore. Well, almost nothing.

"Yeah, fifteen years."

"Lovely."

"I know what you're thinking: If I'm married, why did I just pay you for sex."

"Actually, I wasn't. It's none of my business."

"To be honest, my wife and I haven't had sex in two years," he continued.

"Two years!" My mouth dropped open. That was a long time to go without sex. No wonder he'd resorted to paying for it. Poor guy.

"Exactly." He reached down and stroked my cheek tenderly. "Thank you, Belle."

"The pleasure was all mine." I smiled fondly as I heard his soft footsteps on the stairs.

Hannah

After I heard the door click shutbehind him, I threw on a robe and went downstairs, locking the door. What to do with the extra hour? Normally, I would've called my best mate, Ben, but I'd fucked it all up and he wasn't speaking to me. It had been two months now, and not one returned phone call. But I'm not going to give up. He means too much to me to not have him a part of my life.

Of course, I still have to sort out the Harry issue. I'd told him that I no longer wanted to see him, but he keeps showing up on the street, refusing to go away. If I didn't have feelings for him, I'd get a restraining order against him. But I couldn't do that. For some reason, a part of me was drawn to him. I hope that we can just be good friends. That had been my intention all along, but somehow it had all gone to shit.

My finger hovered over Ben's name on my contact's list. Taking a deep breath, I pressed the call button and waited for the line to go through. The first few rings seemed to go on forever. Ben always picked up by the fourth ring, no matter what. Heart beating with anticipation, I waited. The third ring. The fourth. And then Ben's voicemail. "Hi, it's Ben. Leave me a message."

After the beep, I cleared my throat loudly. "Hi, Ben, it's…Hannah. I'm just calling to see if you're all right. I miss you." A wave of sadness washed over me. He wasn't going to pick up and he wouldn't return my call. How was I going to fix things with him? The only reason I'd broken up with him was because I knew that he had had enough of the shit my job entails. And as much as I love Ben, I love my job, too. And in the end, I'd stayed true to myself.

Hanging up, I sighed. I knew I never should have gotten involved with him again, I chided myself. I knew it would only end badly and it would ruin everything we had. Now we can't even be friends. My eyes settled on the picture of Ben and I – arms around eachother, smiling happily into the camera – on the mantle above my fireplace. Fuck it. If he won't return my calls, I'll just stop by the bar and see him. He can't avoid me, then.

An hour later, freshly showered and made-up, I walked into the bar, looking for Ben. He'd worked there for about four years now and enjoyed bartending almost as much as I enjoy escorting. My eyes scanned the room, looking for the familiar face that I knew would make me feel better. If I could just see Ben, I knew that I could make things right again. I had to. I needed him in my life.

The sound of my heels on the wooden floor caused Ben to look up from his crouch behind the bar. As he registered me, his face changed from one of interest to one of anger and betrayal. My heart shattered and my mind went back to our last night together. When I'd met him at our spot on the embankment. I'd told him that he deserved better than me. The sight of him standing there, tears in his eyes had killed me. Once again, I felt that the reason that all of my relationships, whether they be with my friends, family, or lovers, were all fucked up was because of me.

"Hi," I said lamely, setting my bag down on the bartop.

"Hi." Ben couldn't even meet my gaze. His cheeks flushed red with anger and he started to turn away.

"Wait!" I called, putting a hand out, willing him to give me a chance.

"What do you want, Hannah?" Ben asked, tapping his foot impatiently.

"I want to know that you're all right." I felt the hot sting of tears.

"I'm fine, okay? So you can go back to your life now." Ben turned away again.

Lips quivering, I got up and followed him. "So, that's it?" I demanded, clutching at his arm, my eyes pleading.

"Yeah." He shook my hand off.

"I've apologized a million times, Ben," I sobbed, the tears spilling down my cheeks.

"I don't care how many times you apologize, Han. You did this. You broke my heart and betrayed me."

"I know and I'm so sorry for that. But can't you see that I was doing it for you? So, you could be with someone who can give themselves wholly to you?"

"I want you, Hannah!" Ben exclaimed, eyes wide. "I don't want anyone else."

"Can't we just be friends?"

"No, we can't. I don't want to be friends with you anymore, Han. You broke my heart. And I can't forgive you for that."

"Ben…" My voice came out as a choked whisper.

Without another word, Ben stormed out the bar, the door slamming shut behind him. I stood there for a moment, mouth wide and tears spilling down my cheeks. I'd lost the best thing in my life and there was nothing I could do to get him back. He hated me. And he wasn't the only one. I hated myself.

The next morning, I stepped out to get a coffee when I felt a familiar presence behind me and manly set of arms wrapped around me. "Good morning," Harry said, smiling brightly.
"Morning." I turned to face him and was once again taken away by his good looks. He'd shaved away his stubble and looked even more handsome. No! I ordered myself. No!You are not going to have sex with him again. You're just friends now. Being with Harry will hurt Ben. And I can't do that again.

"Can you take your hands off me, please?" I asked, my voice not quite as angry as I wanted it to be.

"Sorry." Harry grinned. "I couldn't resist." He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine.

"Stop," I whispered, willing the shiver of delight that shook my body to cease. Harry was not going to help salvage my friendship with Ben.

"Have it your way." He held his hands up, showing them to me. "So, how about you and I go out and grab some lunch?" he asked.

"I can't, I've got…stuff to do," I lied, nervously fiddling with the stap of my handbag.

"What kind of stuff?" Harry knew that I was lying. He was a detective. He knew all the signs.

"I've got a lot of work to do."

"Any clients today?"

"No, but I've got to get home and do my beauty regimen. I can't fall behind."

"Come on, Belle." As I stepped away, Harry caught my hand. "It's just a friendly lunch. I promise to behave myself."

I stared into his brown eyes. I was a bit hungry, and as long as it was a friendly lunch…"Fine, but if you try to pull something, I'm leaving. Got it?"

"Got it."

We crossed town to a little bistro that I'd often seen while out shopping but had never been to. Harry said they had the best fish and chips in town. I highly doubted that. Our waiter led us through the restaurant to a booth facing the street. Outside, I could see the dozens of people going about their daily lives and wondered if they had the same problems that I did. If their lives were as fucked up as mine. Not for the first time, I wished that I could be more like them.

"What can I get you?" the waiter asked, smiling at me.

"I will have the…" My eyes quickly scanned menu. "Grilled chicken sandwich with the side of chips. And water to drink, please."

"Great." He wrote it down. "And you, sir?" The waiter turned to Harry, pencil raised over his pad.

"The spaghetti, please."

"Okay." He collected the menus. "Your food will be ready shortly."

"Thank you," I said.

After the waiter was out of earshot, Harry leaned forward. "So, how was work?" he asked. I was so lucky to have a man in life that knew the truth about what I do. That used to be Ben, but few men could handle the fact that their girlfriend has sex with other men for money. In the end, it tore him apart. "Belle?" Harry pressed, shaking me from my reverie.

"Awful!" I confessed.

"What did he want?"

"Just sex."

"Then why was it so awful?" Harry eyed me curiously.

I looked around to make sure that no one was eavesdropping. Leaning forward slightly, I said, "He wouldn't cum."

"Seriously?" Harry frowned.

"Seriously."

"You poor girl." He snickered. "So, what did you do?"

"What could I do? I just had to keep going."

"And how did that go for you?"

"Eventually, he came. After an hour."

"Holy shit!"

"Tell me about it!"

"Nice one, mate." Harry gave me a high five across the table.

"Shut up."

"Did you make you give back some of the money?"

"No, he let me keep it. As a tip."

"You're a very lucky girl."

"I know."

Harry suddenly grew serious. "What are you doing tomorrow night?" he asked.

"I don't know. Why?" Did Harry have a romantic evening planned? Hopefully he wasn't about to spoil the one friendship I had left.

"I was thinking dinner at mine. Around eight?"

"Harry…." I began, trepidation setting in.

"Just a friendly, platonic dinner. No romance, no sex."

"Promise?"

"Promise." He smiled, eyes twinkling and I felt a flutter of butterflies in my stomach. I knew that I should be running in the opposite direction, but something kept me firmly planted where I was.

I reached into my purse and pulled out my diary. I had a pretty busy week ahead of me but it appeared that I had tomorrow night off. "Unfortunately, it seems I'm free tomorrow night," I said, deadpan.

"And how is that unfortunate?"

"Because I have to take you up on your offer," I teased.

"Very funny. So it's a date?"

"It's a date." I started to smile, but caught myself. "Well, not a date date, but you know what I mean."

The sound of my mobile ringing brought me back to my side of the table. I made it a habit to always pick up my work phone. If a client wanted to book me and I didn't respond right away, chances are that I'd lose the business. And that was never good. "I need to get this," I murmured, fishing the phone out of my bag.

"Go ahead," Harry waved his hand.

"It's work." Finding the phone at last, I answered it. "Hello?"

"Do you still do girls?" Wow, Stephanie. Hello to you, too.

"We've been over this, Stephanie." I rolled my eyes. The last time we'd had this conversation I'd ended up working with another call girl, Naomi. We'd quickly become friends, but you can't always trust your friends. Especially when they were in the escort business. Naomi ended up stealing my favorite regular client, Ashok, from me. Luckily he'd come back. I hadn't seen him lately, but he was on holiday with his wife. Hopefully, he'd be back soon.

"This is entirely different," Stephanie insisted, reading my mind.. "Naomi was your partner."

"And what? This woman wants to pay me to have sex with her?" I asked sarcastically.

"Precisely."

"I don't know, Stephanie…." I'd never had sex with a woman for money before. Some how it seemed a little…wrong.

"£2,000."

"What time?" What? £,2000 is a lot of money. The recession's finally hit London, remember? For two thousand pounds, I could deal with wrong.

"Seven."

"I can't do seven. I've got dinner plans with a friend at eight, so…"

"Fine. Six."

"Perfect." I grinned. "In or out?" I hoped it was an in-call. I didn't want to have to run home and rush to get ready for my dinner with Harry. Then again, maybe that would give me an excuse to not show up…

"In."

I opened up my diary again and wrote down the information as I repeated it. "Tomorrow at mine. Six o'clock."

"Enjoy."

"Thanks."

I hung up and put the phone back in my purse. Stephanie had once been my madam, but about two years ago, I'd gone freelance. We still stayed in contact, however. She called me with job offers frequently and when she'd been arrested for money laundering a few months back, she'd entrusted me with her agency, Discreet Elite, and her daughter, Poppy. Thankfully, Poppy had gone back to university. I couldn't help but feel a slight hatred toward the girl. She'd intentionally caused problems between Ben and I. Forget her, I thought. Looking up through my lashes, I saw Harry watching me intently. "What?" I asked.

"Nothing." Harry shrugged his shoulders.

"Then, what are you looking at me like that for?"

"Your client is a woman."

"So?" Typical bloke. He was getting turned on by the idea of two women having sex.

"Well that's a first, right?"

"First female client," I confirmed.

"Do you need a male partner?"

"Don't even think about it," I answered. No way was I going to bring Harry into this. I playfully smacked his arm.

"Ow!" He rubbed the sore spot. "What?"

"You know what."

"All right." He laughed. "So you're going to cheat on me with another woman. That's a first."

"We're not dating, so it's not cheating," I reminded him. Ben would have been all right with it.

"No," Harry agreed simply.

"Are you jealous?"

"I just wish I could watch."

"Pervert!"

We broke out into uncontrollable laughter.

After lunch, I decided to go shopping. If I'm going to do something new, I'm going to need a new wardrobe. New knickers. Something hot. Something sexy. Something like…

My hands froze on a pair of crotch less knickers. "Wow," I murmured. I spread the gap and shook my head. Way too much for the job. But maybe for Harry… Stop!
It's not that I'm uncomfortable with girl-on-girl action. I quite like it. But this is entirely new to me. And nothing's been knew to me for ages. Maybe that's why this one's unnerving me. Maybe I'm losing my professional edge.
I heard the door open and close and then the clack of heels on the wooden floor. "Hey, babes," Bambi said, rushing over.

"Hey, Bambi!" I gave her a quick hug. Sure, she'd been a trial to my patience when we'd first met, but eventually she'd grown on me. She's one of the few people that I can trust with my secret. After all who is she to judge? She's an escort, too.

"Sorry I'm late," Bambi apologized, hiking her bag up onto her shoulder.

"It's all right. I was just looking."

"Byron didn't want to let me out of bed." Last year, Bambi fell in love with one her clients. An eccentric aristocrat named Byron. They'd gotten married despite the fact that Bambi sleeps with other men for money. I hadn't seen much of them since the wedding, me being busy with work and Bambi being busy with work and Byron. Maybe one day soon we'd be able to get together for dinner or something. The two whores and the aristocrat.

"You two are still enjoying your marital bliss, I see." I couldn't help but smile. Seeing Bambi so happy made the joy infectious.

"Oh, yeah." Bambi chuckled. "So, how've you been? I haven't talked to you in ages!"

"Good, yeah. And you?"

"Great. Byron and I are looking for a new house."

"In town?"

"Doesn't matter." She shrugged.

"But what about your clients?"

Bambi chewed her lip for a second. "I'm thinking of giving it up."

"Oh." That caught me completely off guard. Bambi loves her job. Almost as much I do. I never thought she'd retire. Maybe love is enough. For some people.

"We're talking about starting a family."

"A family. That's, wow….congratulations." I hugged her again. I hate when people tell you that they're pregnant or planning on getting pregnant. I mean, what are you supposed to say? 'Congratulations you're bringing another brat into the world?' Nah, I don't think that would go over too well.

"Ta." Bambi squeezed my hand. "What about you and Ben?"

"Ben and I…broke up," I confessed, diverting my gaze to a black lacy bra.

"Oh, Belle, I'm sorry…" Bambi reached out a comforting hand.

"Don't be. It had to done. The inevitable happened. I had to choose between him and my job. And I chose escorting."

"Seriously? It's so obvious the bloke is crazy about you. And it was plain that you were well into him, too."

"I couldn't expect him to change for me. I certainly wasn't willing to change for him. I love escorting and this way, he has a chance at a proper life with some woman who works a real job and can give him children and monogamy."

"Wow. You must really love him," Bambi pushed.

"I do. But I've realized that in our line of work, it's nearly impossible to sustain a relationship," I admitted, fingering a pair of black silk knickers. "These are nice." I kept them in my hand.

"What about Byron and I?"

"You're a rare exception."

"Oh." Bambi's mouth slammed shut.

"And you're planning on packing it in to start a family," I reminded her gently.

"I guess I've just grown bored with the whole thing. I mean, having to wax your body every time you sprout a hair; having to stuff sponge up your twat when you're on your period… Don't you ever get tired of it all?"

"Sometimes" I frowned. I'd never given much thought to my future. I mean, I love escorting. It brings in a fair amount of money and it's steady work. That's all the future I need. "Maybe one day…"

"I mean, you can't escort forever." The words stung like a slap on the face. I'd never considered giving it up. Well, not since Alex. And we all know how that worked out.

"I guess not."

"No offense, babes, but you're not getting any younger," Bambi continued.

"Thanks, Bambi!" I said with mock offense.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah." I hated to admit it, but she was right. One day I wouldn't be able to escort anymore. Men wouldn't pay for a saggy, middle-aged whore.

"And escorting is a competitive business. No one can stay young and beautiful forever." How depressing.

"I could always go back to being a courtesan," I mused.

"That sounds nice."

"No, not really."

"Oh." Bambi started to thumb through the nearest bra rack. "So, what are we doing here anyway?" she asked.

"I need a new pair of knickers. Maybe even a new bra," I answered, eying a bra that struck my fancy.

"New client?" Bambi asked, knowing how it goes.

"New client."

"What's he like?"

"She," I corrected, biting my lip.

"Bloody hell!" Bambi exclaimed.

All the heads in the store turned in our direction. Thanks a lot. "Christ, Bambi," I hissed, face flushing scarlet with embarrassment.

"Sorry. I just didn't know you were into that. I mean, I know you've had female partners before, but this is different."

"I've had sex with women before, back at university. Of course, I never got paid for it."

"Well, I doubt that it'll be any different from having sex with a man for money," Bambi said, putting a supportive hand on my shoulder. She could sense my unease. "At least you'll know what feels good instead of just guessing."

"Yeah, you're right. It's just unexpected I guess."

"Do you need a partner or something? Cos I'd be happy to help out if…"

"No, thanks. It's a one woman job." I appreciated Bambi's offer, but the client had booked me. Alone. If I brought someone else into the mix it would throw off the dynamic.

"Okay." Bambi shrugged. She picked up a black corset. "Do you think Byron would like this?" she asked.

I looked at it. Any man would love it. "He'd be crazy not to."

"I'll take it, then."

We made our way to the counter. I'd found a new pair of knickers and a new bra. Maybe they'd help me with plight tomorrow.

The next day, I was getting ready for the client. It was 5:30. Less than half an hour until she arrived. I finished applying a new layer of black nail polish and blew to dry it. Looking in the mirror, I had to admit that I looked good with my long, straight blonde hair and black dress. "You can do this," I told myself, breathing in and out a few times to steady myself.

Why am I so nervous about this? I mean, it's not like this is the first time I've fucked a woman. And when I have, I'd always gotten good feedback. What makes this one so much different from the others?

My thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Shit, the client's here. Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I rushed down the stairs and peeked through the glass. The woman on other side was rather nice looking, with shoulder-length chestnut brown hair. I've had worse clients. "Hi," I said, pulling the door open.

"Hi," the woman replied, her nervousness apparent in her squeaky voice. She had an Irish accent.

"Come on in," I said, holding the door open for her.

"Thanks."

I stepped aside to let her in, smelling the sweet scent of watermelon as she passed by. Well, here we are. No going back now. My heart started to race.

Belle

I closed the door behind the woman, pasting a sexy smile on my face. "I'm Belle," I said, holding out a hand.

"Siobhan." When she shook my hand, her fingers were moist with discomfort. Obviously, it was her first time with an escort.

"How about we get you in a nice, hot shower?" I suggested, taking her coat.

"That sounds lovely, thanks." Siobhan stood there for a minute before she remembered the circumstances. "Oh, here." She reached into her purse and pulled out an envelope of cash.

"I'll just take that, thanks," I said, accepting the envelope. "The shower's just up the stairs and down the hall. It's the first door on the left.

"Okay." Slowly, Siobhan made her way up the stairs.

When I was sure that she was gone, I slipped the envelope into the cutlery drawer and followed her up. I could hear the shower running. I made my way down the hall and went into my bedroom, leaving the door wide open so that Siobhan would know which one it was.

Pressed for time, I slipped out of my black dress and checked my reflection. My lacy black bra and knickers were perfection. Siobhan would be wet before I even laid a hand on her. I quickly sprayed some men's deodorant on and crossed the room to sit on the bed. I leaned back, resting on my arms. My heart rate had dropped a little as I heard the shower shut off and the sound of Siobhan's soft footsteps. I can do this.

Siobhan nervously crossed the threshold into my room, clutching her towel to her tightly. "Come here," I said, my voice soft. I patted the spot next to me on the bed. Eyes downcast, Siobhan walked over to me and sat down, looking everywhere but at me. "Is everything okay?" I asked, rubbing her shoulder softly.

"Yeah, I'm just a bit…nervous is all," she confessed.

"Don't be. I'll take good care of you."

Without another word, I gently eased her down onto the bed, pulling the wet towel from around her and dropping it onto the floor. My eyes darted to her bare chest. She had nice tits and a flat, muscular stomach. She must work out. I placed a hand behind her head and leaned down, pressing my lips against hers. Her lips had faint cherry taste to them. Katy Perry wasn't joking.

After a minute or so of this, Siobhan loosened up and the kissing became more passionate. I reached down and cupped a breast in my hand, feeling the erect nipple. She was definitely aroused. Continuing to kiss her, I started to play with her nipples; pinching them and feeling them get even harder.

Siobhan broke the kiss, her eyes heavy with lust. Enough foreplay, then. Taking the hint, I kissed a trail down her chin and neck, stopping to glide my tongue over her nipples. Siobhan gasped quietly and started to stroke my hair. I continued to tease her, waiting until she was gasping for air before I continued down.

I worked my way down her stomach and stopped at her knickers. I glanced up and caught her pleading eyes. Grinning slightly, I helped her out of her underwear and buried myself in her groin. Her back arched and I reached out, snagging her legs in my grip to steady her. Apparently she wasn't all that used to the wonders of oral sex.

I lapped at her labia, slowly moving to her clitoris. I could tell from her pleasurable moaning that I hadn't lost my touch. It had been awhile since I'd performed oral on a woman that I wasn't sure that I still had it in me. I guess being a whore has its advantages.

Siobhan came with a loud groan, her whole body quaking. I raised my head, looking up at the sudden peace that alighted her face. No matter what people said about my profession, it could not be denied that in a way, what I do is a public service. As a client once said, I make people feel better. And Siobhan was no different. She was so desperate for an orgasm that she had resorted to paying a prostitute. For whatever reason, she couldn't get what she wanted anywhere else.

I gave her a few minutes to recover before I set to work on my final task. When I saw that her breathing had slowed down, I grabbed my favorite vibe and placed it against her clit, flipping the on switch. Immediately, Siobhan started squirming with pleasure again. Her moans turned into euphoric screams, her body writhing. Thank God I don't live in the flat anymore, I thought, eyes wide. I'd never had client scream that loud before.

Siobhan's screams grew louder and louder until with a final ear-shattering shout, she fell back against the pillows, spent. I switched the vibrator off and moved up to lie down next to her, running a hand playfully up and down her stomach. "Are you feeling okay?" I asked.

"For the first time in a long time, I feel more than okay," Siobhan confessed, smiling. "I feel…magnificent."

"I'm glad." I couldn't help but grin myself. It felt good to know that I had helped someone.

"And it's all thanks to you, Belle."

"Nah, I didn't really do anything," I insisted humbly.

"You did everything. You were amazing." She leaned over and pressed her lips against mine. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

We lay in silence for a few minutes. My mind raced. I was curious about the truth behind Siobhan's position. Did she have no one in her life to see to her needs? Had she been in a relationship with someone she'd cared for deeply, but ended up burned when her lover had found someone else? Had her lover died? The possibilities were limitless.

Finally, I cleared my throat, resting my head in my hand. "Can I ask you a question?" I broached.

"Sure." She clutched the blanket to her, covering up her perfect tits.

"Why did you come to me?"

"You mean, why aren't I getting off with my lover?"

"Sure." I laughed.

"I was in a relationship for a long time with a man that I loved more than words can describe."

"What happened?"

"We were engaged, and I thought we were going to live happily ever after. But in real life, there is no happily ever after." She reached down into her purse and pulled out a cigarette. "Do you mind if I smoke?"

"Go ahead."

"Thanks." She lit up and took a drag, inhaling deeply.

"So, he found someone else?"

"You got it." She laughed bitterly. "It broke my heart. I've never felt the same since."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You're not the whore who came between us."

I chewed my lip. "So, when did you…realize that you liked having sex with women?"

"Oh." Siobhan laughed. "I've always enjoyed sex with women. At least, in theory. I've never actually done it before. I was too nervous in college to try anything and when I was at university, I got hooked up with this bloke named Sean. And ever since then, I've been with men."

"So, you're a bisexual?"

"No. Yes." She sighed. "I don't know. It's all so confusing."

"Just listen to you heart." I advised. "Even if it's confusing at first, it'll all work out in the end." My words echoed in my mind. Was there still a chance that my actions hadn't destroyed my friendship with Ben forever? Maybe if I listened to myself things would take a turn for the better. I lit up a fag of my own and pondered this.

Hannah

After Siobhan left, I filled up the bathtub with hot water and bubbles and climbed in. The water felt good and I closed my eyes serenely. For the first time in months, I was completely stress free. I didn't think about Ben or Harry. I must have drifted off for a while because when I opened my eyes again, the clock said that I had a little over an hour to get ready or I'd be late for dinner with Harry. "Shit!" I hissed, jumping out and wrapping a towel around myself.

"Fuck!" I ran into the bedroom and tore through my closet, trying to decide on what to wear. My eyes settled on an elegant powder blue gown that I'd bought during my trip to the Maldives. I threw on a bra and knickers and slipped into the dress. Wrapping my hair in a towel, I quickly applied makeup and brushed my teeth. When that was done, I blow dried my hair and curled it, transforming my straight hair into big blonde ringlets.

Taking one last look in the mirror to make sure that I was flawless, I grabbed my bag and ran out the door. As soon as I stepped out onto the street, I spotted a black cab. "Taxi!" I shouted, waving him down. The cab pulled over to the curb and I jumped in.

"Where to?" the driver asked, eying me in the rear-view mirror.

"Uh…" I fished around in my bag for the piece of paper with Harry's address on it. Finding it, I handed it over to the driver.

The drive only took a few minutes and when he driver pulled up to curb outside of Harry's flat, I threw him a wad of cash and got out. My heart was again pounding in my chest and my lips were dry. Why does he get to me like this? I wondered as I clacked up to the door. There was a list on the side with a list of all the tenants and a button next to each name. My eyes scanned the list until I came upon the right one. H. Smith I reached forward to press the buzzer, but my hand froze.

Was I making a mistake? If I went through with the dinner, I knew full well that things wouldn't remain friendly. Harry and I would end up sleeping together and I'd be hooked. I'd blow yet another chance at patching things up with Ben. And I couldn't do that. But was I strong enough to stop myself?

Setting my chin determinedly, I lowered my hand and ran back to the taxi.

"Home, please," I said, slamming the door behind me.

"What the hell?" the driver asked, turning around to face me.

"Just take me home!" I barked angrily.

Silently, the driver pulled back into traffic. I felt myself relax and I settled back into the seat. I could make things work with Ben. I had to. I loved him more than anyone in the world. It might take time, but I was willing to wait. And most importantly, I had finally made a step in the right direction.

Next Time: Hannah grudgingly accepts Stephanie's invitation to attend a party at her country house in Poppy's honor. But once again, Poppy's up to no good. Will Hannah finally have enough of Poppy's manipulations? Belle's client is not what she expects. Will she be able to put her personal feelings aside and be the smooth professional she's always prided herself on being?