A/N: It's my 309865049568039458 play through of DA2 and for once I decided to shy away from Isabela and Anders, and moved on to Fenris, while romancing him proooooooved to be difficult, I managed. This is my "after" story. I hope you guys enjoy it.

"Blank Shell"

I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me
And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you kill me

-"I'm Not Calling You A Liar" by Florence and the Machine

She was betrayed for a second time. Raina knew that she should have been use to the feeling but the heartache that had taken over was earth shattering. Her legs felt like they were going to give out and it had been Carver that held her up. So many things have happened in the past few years that made her hate who she was…what she was. Self loathing was never attractive but it was a permanent feature for Raina Hawke. "There's nothing you could say that I haven't already said to myself," he told her. The agony there broke her heart even more, if that had been possible. Did he even realize what he was saying? "I took a spirit into my soul and changed myself forever to achieve this. This is the justice all have waited." No. No, it wasn't.

"Did that spirit tell you to do this?" She asked. Her voice was barely above a whisper and it was the firm grasp that her brother had over her that kept her focus. Through their whole lives they had never seen eye to eye but now, now he was there for her. While she wanted freedom for mages, this…this was wrong.

"No," he replied. It was a simple answer yet it held so much conviction. She wanted to hate him. She wanted to curl up into a ball. She wanted to hide. She wanted to die… but all those things were luxuries and something Raina couldn't be selfish enough to do. "When we merged, he ceased to be. We are one." Why was he telling her this? It wasn't helping. "I can no more ignore the injustice of the Circle than he could. You were never a part of the Circle…you wouldn't understand." If only he trusted her.

"I might have understood if only you told me," she said. Carver cursed under his breath and thank the Maker Sebastian wasn't around.

"I wanted to tell you but what if you stopped me? Or worse, what if you wanted to help? I couldn't let you do that," Anders told her, still he refused to even look her way. Her throat had gone dry. She didn't know what to say to him. Elthina was a good woman and no one…no one deserved that fate. "The world needs to see this. Then we can all stop pretending that the Circle is a solution. If I pay for that with my life, then I pay. Perhaps then Justice would at least be free." He was prepared. He was prepared to die that selfish bastard. Did he not even stop to think about her at least once?

"Raina," Carver started but she shushed him. There was no time.

"You have to pay for what you've done," she couldn't believe the words had left her mouth.

"I know." Was that all he could say? Her vision blurred and hot tears streamed down her cheeks. "For what it's worth. I'm glad it's you. It was nice to be happy…for awhile. I love you and I'm sorry." She pulled out the dagger she had and put it in Anders's back side.

I love you too. "Goodbye, Anders."

The feel of the mist of a sea against her face had been indescribable just like Isabela had said. Who knew she would have been right about something after all? Raina leaned against the side of the ship, The Siren's Call Two, as she gripped the wood. It was two years after that fateful event at the Gallows. It was two years since Fenris had been gone from her life and she had to end Anders's. Carver and Cullen were heads of the Kirkwall Templars. Maker have mercy on them. It was only the group of Templars that had stayed with the Chantry and the only group that was dedicated to rebuilding instead of hunting down every mage in all of Thedas. It was two years since she found out it was Orsino that had protected Quentin the man that killed her mother. It was two years since she felt like magic had been a gift from the Maker, not a curse like she had felt then. She had sided with the Templars only to be betrayed by Meredith. Nothing had made sense that night. Had she chosen the right side? Was Orsino truly a blood mage or had he been pushed to it by Meredith? Was Meredith actually insane or had it been the lyrium sword that drove her to madness?

Thank the Maker that the only thing that had remained constant was her friendship with Isabela, her best friend and captain of the ship she was on.

Raina thought about Anders every day. When Fenris had left her, she turned to the other mage for solace. He didn't hate her for what she was. He understood her. He would be there for her. It was too bad she found out too late that hadn't been the case. She hadn't genuinely smiled since before the day in the Gallows. She hadn't loved since then. Well…she hadn't felt anything at all. She was just a shell of what she used to be. Fenris had been right. Magic put a stain on everything it touched. It ruined her relationship with him and Carver. It caused the death of her mother. So many good people had fallen to blood magic only to prove the rantings of a mad woman. What happened with Anders…

"Are you alright?" Thank the Maker for the pirate woman breaking her thoughts.

Raina turned to look at Isabela who stood next to her. Her friend offered a comforting touch on the shoulder but that was all it was. Just a touch. Raina still didn't allow herself to feel human. "I'm fine," she replied.

The Rivaini woman smirked at her. "I know you better than that," she said before one eyebrow cocked upwards. "But I'll let it go…for now." Isabela sighed heavily and closed her eyes as the wind whipped around them. "I wanted to thank you for sticking around… I know it's not something that you'd rather be doing but it's good to have you here and not having to worry about if a damned Templar found you or not."

Raina put a hand over her heart. "Oh Isabela," she said in a teasing tone, "I didn't know you cared." The pirate laughed and nudged her playfully. Some semblance of normality had reared its head and the brief feeling of happiness had shown before it disappeared just as quickly. "Though I'm not worried about Templars…" Carver and Cullen had let her and her companions go, not that her number of companions had been the same as they use to be. There was no Anders. Fenris had left before the battle had begun. She pushed away the thoughts. She needed to stop thinking about them. She often thought about what happened to them all. She knew Aveline was still in Kirkwall. Merrill had probably tried to find another clan that would accept her. Varric…oh her trusty dwarf that she really did cry herself to sleep sometimes knowing he wasn't around. That was sad, wasn't it? She missed her friends. Be careful, Raina, she scolded herself, you're allowing yourself to feel again.

"I know," she said before there was a moment of silence. Ha. What a crock. For as long as they had known each other, Rain had known that silence and Isabela never went together in a sentence. "I just came to let you know that we'll be docking soon."

"Where are we?"

"Nevarra."

Raina's hands went up and her fingers curled against the thick ropes of the webbing most of the crewmen used to scaled up the masts. The noises of the coastal city they were approaching carried of the Waking Sea. She knew where they were. One of Raina's more annoying habits that Carver liked to point out had been her love of geography. Maybe that had been another reason she and Isabela had got on so well. She was living the dream of being able to see Thedas but the dream had just felt hollow. "Cumberland," she muttered, "Great."

With Fenris, his tough exterior had been just a shell to ward people off. His demeanor screamed to leave him alone but Raina wouldn't. She knew a troubled soul when she saw it and she had wanted to help him. Compassion had fueled her and it was that compassion that had scared him and kept him close at the same time. He was hurt and confused after what happened with Hadriana and it was her compassion for him that made every decision with that, his. The look on his face in that moment made her heart soar. "Command me to go and I shall," he said. His voice was rough, almost choked enough to where the words barely escaped him.

She gave him a small smile and reached up to move some silver hair out of his hair. It wasn't compassion that drove her to help him. Over the years she had fallen in love. She knew that she shouldn't have… What was it that people said about wanting things you couldn't have? Their views on mages had been entirely different yet he had called her friend countless of times. "Did I say anything?" She asked. It had been his turn to smile then.

Her world had changed within moments. Her feelings had been confirmed when his lips met hers. She turned them around and pressed him against the wall. She could feel his want…his need… for what was happening. She knew exactly how he had felt. His hands explored her body as she led him into her room. She closed the door behind them with a swift motion of her foot. They peeled each other's clothing off and Fenris had lifted her into the air. Raina wrapped her legs around the elf and a moan escaped her when his mouth found her breasts. He whispered her named and her fingers curled into his locks. They fell onto her bed, tangled into each other across silken sheets. His fingers briskly feathered over her sex, before they teasingly entered her. Her fingers curled around the fullness of him before she guided him inside of her…

Raina sat up quickly. Her breathing was hitched and her throat tightened. She ran her hand down her face and let out a heavy sigh. "Oooh," she heard a familiar croon, "That must've been some dream." Her eyes narrowed slightly and turned her head to look at the vivacious pirate. "I've only heard few women moan like that, myself included."

"Is there something that you want Isabela?" She asked quickly. Raina could think of a few things but they knew that door was closed long before and their friendship had blossomed from that mutual decision. The dark skinned woman smirked at her.

"Plenty," she replied curtly. She crossed her arms in front of her and Raina shook her head. "Anyways," Isabela continued, "I'm going to check out the city. I was wondering if you'd like to come with." Raina arched an eyebrow.

"We're in Cumberland. The College of Enchanters is out there, do you really think I want to go?"

Isabela shrugged one shoulder. "Just a suggestion," she said with a wicked grin forming across her features.

"Why are we even here?" So far every mage they had come across had attacked them because of the common knowledge that Raina had in fact helped the Templars go through with the Right of Annulment. What they probably didn't hear was the fact that she spared every mage that she thought she could. She would have never killed someone who begged for their life…No. She just killed those who asked for it.

It was the first time in a few months that Isabela had given her a smile that Raina knew meant trouble. As if they needed more. As if she needed more. "Following a lead," was all Isabela said before she disappeared from her room on the ship. Raina fell back onto her bed and looked away from the door. She bit her lower lip. It wasn't the College that she feared. No, far from it actually, it was just that after everything she still wasn't ready to face her decisions, her ghosts, whatever you wanted to call them, though she knew her days of hiding were slowly dwindling down.