An idea that has been swimming around in my head since I first saw this episode. Surely Mary would be curious enough to ask someone what it means.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Tudors.


The Lady Mary walked away from Sir Francis Bryan as fast as she politely could. He made her feel uncomfortable; like he was just waiting for an opportunity to bash her head in like he had threatened to do earlier. She knew very well how her father, the King, could change his mind without any warning. He could very easily banish her from court again if he thought she was threat, and she suspected Sir Francis would be more than happy to take advantage of that opportunity.

The trouble was that she had not been at court since she was a little girl and many of the faces she had known then were no longer around. Charles Brandon, the Duke of Suffolk was still around, though she did not know his young wife. However he was talking to a man she did not know and she felt loath to interrupt or try and join the conversation. The Queen was also deep in conversation with someone and Mary found herself standing alone in a crowd of people, unsure of where to go or what to do.

"My Lady Mary," a familiar voice said from behind her. Turning round Mary came face to face with the Spanish ambassador, Eustace Chapuys.

"Excellency," she greeted as he bowed and kissed her hand. She gave him a small curtsey out of respect and gratitude of how much he had done for her during the reign of the harlot, Anne Boleyn. She smiled gratefully when he led her out of the stifling crowd and towards a quieter spot at the edge of the room.

"May I say how pleased I am that you have returned to court," Chapuys gave her one of his rare sincere smiles. Unlike the ones he gave most people at court, this one was genuine and filled with warmth and kindness Mary knew he hid well under his ruthless court demeanor. When she thought about it she realised that she felt closer to him than anyone else in the room (no matter how kind Queen Jane had been, they had not known each other for very long), therefore she felt there was no better person ask about something that had been bothering her.

"May I ask your Excellency something?"

"Anything my Lady," Chapuys sat down on the window seat and Mary joined him, unsure of how to begin.

After a few moments silence she decided to just come out and say what was troubling her.

"What is cunnilingus?"

Chapuys seemed to choke on air. The usually composed ambassador sat up as stiff as a board and Mary could have sworn that his cheeks turned slightly pink. She felt herself go red also, distressed that she had obviously caused him to be embarrassed and whatever she had asked had not been something that should have been brought up.

After several coughs Chapuys eventually managed to choke out, "why do you ask?"

"Sir Francis Bryan asked me if I liked games and told me there was a new one at court I might enjoy. I think he was making fun of me." Mary sighed, now knowing full well that this must have been the case. However her curiosity urged her to continue. "I pray you tell me what it is, I do not appreciate being made fun of."

Chapuys looked very uncomfortable and seemed to be praying that someone would come and pull him out this awkward situation. Mary refused to let go though, and continued to stare at him expectantly.

"My Lady, I doubt I am the best person to tell you… Perhaps if you asked the Queen…" he trailed of, obviously unsure if that was the right advice.

"While she has been very kind to me, I do not know her that well. And besides, your Excellency, I trust no one here more than you. I cannot believe it to be that bad. Surely Sir Francis would not dare suggest anything too bad at court where there are plenty of people to overhear him."

Chapuys continued to look uncomfortable; quickly looking around to make sure no one could overhear them. "It is an act performed between a man and a woman," he reluctantly began before stopping to look at her, clearly begging her to let him leave it at that.

Mary knew that she should let the subject drop. Even she could see where this was heading, and she was beginning to feel some anger towards Sir Francis (how dare he talk about such things with her). However it wasn't every day that someone made Eustace Chapuys squirm and the sadistic side of her that she hadn't fully realised existed urged her to continue.

"Could you show me?"

"No!" came the immediate and somewhat strangled reply. Mary knew she had played up her innocence of the world to the extreme, but it seemed to have paid off when she saw the look on her friend's face.

"Please your Excellency, I beg you just tell me."

Hesitantly Chapuys once again looked around before leaning forward and whispering what it was quietly in her ear. It was Mary's turn to go bright red.

"Oh. I see," was all she managed to utter as she made a mental note to never be left on her own with Sir Francis. Ever.

"I'm sorry my Lady."

"No, I asked." Mary urged her face to turn back to its normal colour as she tried to look Chapuys in the eye. "Thank you for telling me," She told him sincerely, reaching forward to take his hand in her own. "You are and always will be my truest friend."

He chuckled slightly, the uncomfortable tension that had been in the air evaporating. "I hope my Lady that you will also find some true friends in the women at court. Hopefully they will spare us any more of these conversations."

Mary allowed herself to laugh with him. The two of them sat for some time in comfortable silence watching the dancing. Seeing Sir Francis heading towards Mary, Chapuys quickly stood up.

"I am not as young as I once was, and my dancing is a little rusty, but will you do me the honour of being your partner for your first dance since your return to court?"

Mary smiled, taking his hand. "I would be delighted."