Hey guys I'm back! Just a reminder that I do not own the characters or the story. More AN at the end of the chapter.

Over the next few days I'm left mostly alone. Delly visits me occasionally. We talk about everything and nothing. We stray away from talking about the Hunger Games or anything that came after. This is fine with me because those memories just bring headaches and anger. Old memories are better. Safer. So Delly and I reminisce. We laugh at the mischief we used to get into. When was the last time I laughed? We smile fondly as we remember our old friends and the childish fun we had with them. Neither of us mentions that they are all dead now.

With Prim, our conversations are the opposite. We talk about the war, the Districts' most recent victories, and the Capitol's most recent atrocities. But mainly we talk about Katniss. For every accusation I throw out about Katniss Prim gives me facts, stories, and video clips. We argue until I feel myself lose control. I scream and pace, my voice becoming hoarse, until I'm threatened to be tied up again.

But Prim never yells back, never gets upset, and never flinches away when I get right into her face. She faces me down calmly and firmly. She shows me patience when I show her anger. Prim shows me love when I let every hateful thing I've ever thought spew out of my mouth.

She is no longer the scared little girl who was set to be reaped over a year ago. That girl was forced to grow up too fast and become this determined, brave, young woman. And one day it hits me. Katniss. Katniss taught her to be braved, and showed her how to never give up on the ones you love, no matter what the cost. I couldn't stop the feelings of shame welling up inside. I had done nothing in the past month to deserve Prim's love and devotion. I tried to squash down these feelings because as suddenly as they hit me I realized something else. Katniss' devotion was one the reasons I fell in love with her.

It's Prim who tells me about the wedding. It's for Finnick and Annie Cresta. Annie was rescued along with me and Johanna. I admit, when Prim first told me I was jealous. It's not fair that someone else gets to be in love and happy. And then I remember Finnick after he heard the jabberjays in the arena. Another unaffected memory. I also think back to seeing Annie on the reaping, screaming and crying at the thought of going back into the arena. I decide to try to be happy for them. Then Prim ask me if I want to make a wedding cake for them and I'm ecstatic.

The kitchen in District 13 is large. Four times as large as my parent's bakery. Greasy Sae is there and she informs me that all the food in the district is cooked here.

Thanks to the large size I have enough room to be left alone my own corner. Everyone avoids me and I ignore them as well. In the Capitol, and in the other districts, people flocked towards me. Here, it seems, they are wary of me. My constant guards also keep people away.

Expect for Greasy Sae. She comes over occasionally, when she isn't busy cooking, and talks to me while I work. It's mostly just small talk and I suspect Prim and Delly put her up to it but it's nice.

Baking again is wonderful. It has a very calming effect on me and it gives my hands something to do while I think. It's easier to focus on the cake than it is to sort out my mind but I force myself to work through my thoughts. Eventually I give myself a headache and just focus on the cake.

It takes several days and a lot of headaches to finish to cake. It turns out beautifully though. Greasy Sae gasps in admiration when she sees it. The cake is definitely my best work yet. I'm painfully reminded of my father when I finish it. He was a true artist and he instilled in me deep appreciation for beauty. I think with this cake I've finally mastered everything he taught me about art. I've also come to a decision. I want to see Katniss.

Then late after the wedding, which I had been told by my guards was a hit, she comes to see me.

I've been put in extra restraints again and a knock-out drug is ready to be dispensed the moment I lose control. But I won't. This is too important.

Katniss walks in slowly until is a yard from my bed, her arms wrapped protectively around her. As though she is afraid of me.

"Hey," she says. Her voice is like I remember only laced with nerves.

"Hey," I respond. I'm not giving her anything.

A brief pause, and she shuffles from foot to foot. "Haymitch said you wanted to talk to me?"

"Look at you for starters." And I do. Her hair is in its usual plain braid. Looking at it I recall another braid she use to wear. The braid that her mother did for her on the fateful reaping day. Katniss looked beautiful that day. But the simple braid suits her better.

My staring is starting make Katniss uncomfortable. She keeps glancing at the one-way-glass where I'm sure Haymitch is watching this little drama unfold. I can just barely make out an earpiece in Katniss' right ear. Haymitch is probably feeding her lines. I reflect bitterly that Katniss has always been the one he helped first. "You're not very big, are you? Or particularly pretty?" The words are out of my mouth before I realize it,

Before I can say anything else, I see a flash of anger in her eyes. "Well you've looked better."

I can't help it. I laugh. "And not even remotely nice. To say that to me after all I've been through."

"Yeah. We've all been through a lot. And you're the one who was known for being nice. Not me." I've hurt her. Katniss is use to people fawning over her. But I still feel bad for upsetting her. What's wrong with me? I don't like her and shouldn't care if her precious feelings are hurt.

"Look, I don't feel well," Katniss says as she heads to the door. "Maybe I'll drop by tomorrow."

No! She can't leave yet. I'm not ready yet. I have to keep her here, talking to me, for just a little bit longer. I don't know when this conversation became so important.

"Katniss." Her name burns a little. "I remember the bread."

She stops. She knows exactly what I'm referring to. The bread. The first time I ever had a glimmer of hope that I had a chance at winning Katniss' heart. One of my few memories left that I know is absolutely real.

"They should you the tape of me talking," she looks at me carefully.

"No. Is there a tape of you talking to about it? Why didn't the Capitol use it against me?" I ask. I'm a little surprised that she would even talk about that on tape. Katniss has never been one to share what she was feeling, especially when it comes to something so personal and intense as that day.

"I made it the day you were rescued," she says, "So what do you remember?"

Haymitch had explained my rescue to me. He said that Finnick had made some tapes to distract the Capitol with but he never mentioned Katniss' involvement. Probably because I would have gone off on him. Katniss actually opened for the Capitol and it was for me. To save me. A dull ache starts up in my chest.

My voice is soft when I answer. "You. In the rain. Digging in our trash bins. Burning the bread. My mother hitting me. Taking the bread out for the pigs but then giving it to you instead." Watching her watch me warily. Noticing how thin and exhausted she was. Going in and hoping desperately that she would understand that the bread was for her. Praying that the next day I would finally be able to talk to her.

"That's it. That's all that happened," she says, "The next day, after school, I wanted to thank you. But I didn't know how."

"We were outside at the end of the day. I tried to catch your eye. You looked away. And then…for some reason, I think you looked at a dandelion." Katniss nods. It feels strange to finally talk about this after all these years. "I must have loved you a lot."

"You did," Her voice breaks a little.

Now I ask the big question. "And did you love me?"

Katniss avoids my gaze as she answers. "Everyone says I did. Everyone says that's why Snow had you tortured. To break me."

She doesn't look broken. She looks strong and closed off. Untouchable. She was the one Snow wanted to take down and yet I'm the one strapped down with a head full of false memories. But Katniss has never let love break her. Losing her father proved that. She still evaded the question though.

"That's not an answer," I say accusingly, "I don't know what to think when they show me some of the tapes. In that first arena, it looked like you were trying to kill me with those tracker jackers."

"I was trying to kill all of you," she states bluntly, "You had me treed."

That part is true. At the time I was faking being allies with the careers. She didn't know it was just a ruse. It seems strange now that she didn't know how much I loved her. Back then it felt like my every action, every breath, was a shout of my undying love.

"Later, there's a lot of kissing. Didn't seem very genuine on your part. Did you like kissing me?" I mostly ask just to confront her, but a part of me is sickeningly desperate for her answer.

"Sometimes," she admits. She pauses and for a second I think she is about to confess to more than just liking them. Then she continues, "Do you know people are watching us?" Katniss hates having an audience. I don't care about them. I need more answers.

"I know. What about Gale?" This question makes her angry.

Katniss glances briefly at the one-way glass. "He's not a bad kisser either," she says roughly.

"And it was okay with both of us? You kissing the other?" I ask.

"No. It wasn't okay with either of you. But I wasn't asking you permission," she states.

I laugh. How could I have loved someone this self-centered?

"Well, you're a piece of work, aren't you?" And Katniss is done with me. She leaves without saying another word.

Okay so I'm basically getting over the three worst years of my life and I'm ready to finish this story. Unfortunately though I'm shipping of to Basic Training in a week so don't expect anymore updates till April. I know, I suck, but I plan on finishing this by the end of summer!