WTF HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
Why has it been nearly a year since I posted something? Grrr!
I'm not dead, guys! I'm just laaaaaaaazzyyyyyyy.
So, anyways, here's a story :)
Rated T for minor language (but come on, if it's a story that involves Ed, this should go without saying)
Disclaimer:
Sleep
EdWin.
Edward Elric, eighteen, grunted and rolled over.
Again.
The bed creaked under his weight as he moved, then the room grew silent once more. And it stayed that way for all of five minutes before the creaking resumed. After a good half hour, the boy shifted onto his back and released an irritable sigh, brow furrowed in annoyance.
Giving in, he cracked open one of his golden eyes and snuck a peek at the clock on the wall. The resulting scowl was so intense, it could probably sink a ship.
4:33.
A.M.
Dammit.
Edward ran a hand down his face, then rubbed his tired eyes. Why the hell am I still awake? He mentally sighed.
What was with the constant bouts of insomnia? The sudden barrage of sleepless nights? Why couldn't fate give him a break, just this once? Huh?
Because, after so many years, they were finally free. Free from worry. Free from harm. Free from his title and the responsibility that came with it. Free from the guilt, free from the burdens, free from everything he had unfortunately become well-accustomed to in his life. He was free to be himself, to act his age, to do anything, to be anything. He was no longer a slave to his own life. He was free.
But holy crap, there was so much he wanted to do, so much he wanted to see! The endless possibilities filled his head at a remarkable pace, and the blond sat up rather quickly, gripping his loose hair and shaking his head to rid itself of the many thoughts. His mind was running wild.
No wonder he couldn't sleep.
He tossed a glance at the empty bed across the room, and his thoughts strayed to his brother. Alphonse had, for the past several nights, been sleeping in a room down the hall -now that he had his body back and he actually could sleep, it was rather high on his priority list. Therefore, Edward's insomnia attacks did not go over well with his oh-so-caring brother, whose exact words were "You're the one who can't sleep. Don't keep me up, too" before he promptly strolled out the door. Yeah, thanks for your concern, Al.
Edward closed his eyes and fell back onto his pillow with a grunt, then turned his head to stare out the window. It was a full moon, and a smile flitted across his face for a ghost of a second as he was reminded of just how clear the night sky was in Risembool. Nothing like the muggy air of Central, or the cloudy nights at Briggs. Here, it was nothing but stars, as far as the eye could see. And it was very refreshing.
As the thought entered his mind, his eyes screamed, demanding sleep. They felt like lead weights, and slowly began slipping closed. If Ed had the energy, he would've cheered. It looked like he was finally going to get some well-deserved rest.
Pat… pat… pat…
Or not.
He bit back a groan upon hearing the door open and flipped over just in time to catch a brief glance of blonde hair before his eyes slid shut again, this time on their own accord. But that brief glance was all that he needed, because the instant he heard the door click shut, her name was rolling off his tongue.
"Winry…" his voice was barely more than a whisper, and he brought a hand to cover his eyes. But she didn't respond, and concern began seeping in when he heard hurried footsteps make their way towards his bed before feeling a slight dip somewhere near his knees. He peeked one eye out from under his hand, looking up at her with a hint of worry. "Winry?"
She sat tensed on his bed, feet firmly planted on the floor, and her hair shielded her face from his sight. Slowly, he sat up, now thoroughly concerned.
"Winry, are you okay?" She shook her head side-to-side and clenched the bed sheets tightly in her fists, shoulders raising even more. "What's wrong?"
But she didn't answer. She couldn't. Instead, the mechanic shook her head slightly and turned her face further away from him. "Winry…" he tentatively reached out and touched her upper arm, but she flinched away. His brow furrowed and he pursed his lips. "Win, look at me," he said, cupping her face and turning it towards him, forcing her to meet his level gaze, "What's wrong?" His voice was borderline demanding, but there was a gentle pleading in his eyes. It was an expression she had never seen before, and it left her slightly slack-jawed for a moment. She swallowed thickly.
"N-nightmare…" her voice was quiet and raspy, and she had to refrain from biting her bottom lip as she felt the tremors within her body begin to rise again.
Edward was quiet for a moment, pensive. "…About what…?" The moonlight allowed for him to finally catch sight of her face, illuminating her terrified expression. His thumb unconsciously stroked her cheek as he noticed the dried trails of tears cascading down to her jaw, and he frowned, dropping his hand. Her eyes were bloodshot and he saw that they were quickly welling up again, and her only means of preventing one from escaping was to squeeze her eyes shut. She shook her head vigorously, pressing her lips into a thin line. She couldn't answer him. "Win…" he prodded, but she shook her head again. He gave her an intense look and gently lifted a hand to her cheek, the other reaching up to touch her shoulder. "Winry..." she kept her eyes closed and automatically leaned into the warmth of his touch, but a tear escaped from her eye and rolled down her cheek. Edward brushed it away with his thumb. "Winry," her pained eyes fluttered open to look at him, "you know you can trust me."
It started with a trembling lip, and rather suddenly, Ed was thrown backwards onto the bed when she flung her arms around his torso and buried her head deep within his chest, crying her heart out in front of him. The boy slowly sat up and gently wrapped his arms around the girl's shaking shoulders, and within a moment's notice, he found himself hugging her just as fiercely, as if his own life depended on it. She only sobbed harder.
Edward closed his eyes and clenched his jaw as he nestled his face in her hair. What in the world could possibly cause her to be so shaken? Winry was a strong girl, yet this dream, this nightmare was causing her to cry almost as hard as when she found out Scar was the one who killed her parents. This nightmare had somehow managed to break her, to destroy her, to terrify her to the bone. And it tore Edward apart knowing that there wasn't much he could do to help. There were no words to be said; all he could possibly do was hold her in his arms.
But maybe that was all she needed.
Minutes ticked by slowly and his grip on her slackened, as did hers on him. Her loud, body-wracking sobs had quieted down to a few mere sniffles, and they sat there in silence. It was an almost peaceful, almost comfortable silence that enveloped the two. Edward slowly rubbed circles in her back, choosing not to speak -even if he had, by some miracle, managed to find his voice. She sniffed and turned her head before resting her ear onto his chest, forcing herself to take deep breaths as she listened to the strong, steady beating of his heart. His shirt was soaking wet from her tears, but neither of them seemed to mind. They simply sat in silence, in each other's company, the sound of their hearts beating in tandem and the unspoken, unbreakable bond between the two being enough.
Winry sniffed and finally broke the silence, her voice stuffy and quiet. "Edward?"
"Hmm?" Ed replied calmly, tiredly.
The mechanic hesitated before finding her voice again, sounding much more timid. "Can..." a slight blush dusted her cheeks, "Can I sleep with you?" He faltered and tensed a bit under her arms, so she quickly added, "Just for tonight."
She shut her eyes tightly and tensed as well, waiting for his reaction. Meanwhile, the boy's face was a dark pink as he mulled over his options in his head. Should he let her stay? He glanced down at the blushing blonde, who had nuzzled her face in his chest once again. There was no doubting that Winry was very, very attractive, and he was completely positive that if he said yes, all possibilities of him getting even a wink of sleep that night would go flying out the window. After all, he was still a teenager, and having his beautiful female best friend sleeping next to him could do many, many potentially bad things to the poor boy.
And on the other hand, she was so vulnerable at that moment. She had come to him that night feeling lost, broken, and utterly terrified -possibly mentally scarred by a horrible dream that still held a tight grip on her. And Edward, of all people, knew how that felt, knew what a terrible feeling it is to be plagued by a vivid nightmare. It was beyond words, beyond comprehension.
So how could he possibly say no?
- O - O - O -
Maybe it wasn't such a good idea, after all.
The former alchemist lay on his side facing the window, once again staring at the night sky. But his mind was definitely somewhere else.
In fact, the object of his attention was pressed up against him, caught in a deep sleep and snoring softly.
...
To reiterate:
Pressed up against him.
...
This was bad.
Very bad.
Winry had fallen asleep a good fifteen minutes ago on the opposite side of the bed, facing with her back towards him. Evidently, she was really tired because she was knocked out the moment her head hit his pillow. She had no trouble falling asleep. And as predicted, Ed was not even close to the sweet escape of slumber.
Why? Simple: Winry was not a quiet sleeper.
Not.
At.
All.
She tossed and turned and snorted and mumbled and kicked and pretty much did anything you could imagine. And on top of everything, when she was still, she... did things to him.
... No, not like that.
For instance, she would roll over and accidentally brush against him, and invisible flames would dance on his skin. Or she would whisper his name in her sleep and his heart would leap into his throat. Currently, her face was pressed against his back and her hand was resting on his arm. Not so bad, right?
Wrong. Because, as previously stated, she mumbled in her sleep.
Edward tightened his jaw and closed his eyes, trying to focus on anything that could take his mind off the girl behind him. She began whispering incoherent sentences again and he felt heat spread across his face like a wildfire. The fabric of his shirt was the only thing separating her lips and his skin, and that wasn't doing much to calm him down. He could feel the heat of her body against his back; he could feel every single muscle, every single curve; he could even feel the slow, steady beating of her heart in contrast to his.
Her hand squeezed his arm slightly before relaxing again and she snuggled closer to him, if possible. He groaned quietly as his mind started traveling to bad places again. He thought back to that time when she unknowingly began undressing in front of him, and he couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if she hadn't noticed him... His face -no, his entire body nearly burst into flames at the thought. No, no, no! Not good! Mayday! Mayday!
Edward absolutely had to calm down. If he continued to let this affect him, not only would he get no sleep, but at this rate, he would most definitely wind up doing something to her. Something he would regret. And he was dangerously close to that point, the point of no return.
So, he did what anyone else would do if they were in his situation and desperately needed to calm down.
Hydrogen... helium... lithium... beryllium... boron... carbon...
Finally, his wandering mind was pulled back to reality and the blush on his face began to disappear. His pulse lessened considerably, once again reaching a healthy, normal pace. He drew in several deep, calming breaths as he let his mind rest, reveling in the silence and managing to successfully ignore the other blonde.
That is, until he felt a puff of hot breath on the back of his neck.
He twitched in surprise and his blush returned with a vengeance. He hadn't noticed her shift in her sleep so she wasn't quite so pressed up against him, but now her head was right behind his, lips centimeters away from the base of his neck.
She released another breath of warm air against his neck and the hair on his skin stood up on end.
Then, she sighed and he felt a shock of warmth spread throughout his body as shivers shot up and down his spine.
And by the fourth breath, he all but lost his composure.
In a matter of seconds, he had flipped around and slammed her back onto the bed, leaning over her and pinning her wrists to the pillow next to her head. The sudden rough movement had jerked her awake and she stared at him intensely. She wasn't fully conscious and had absolutely no idea what was going on, but when she saw Edward above her, a ferocious blush appeared on her cheeks. His hair fell over his shoulders and the tips tickled her face, and his golden eyes were burning with something akin to desire. Hormones were screaming at them, screaming for something to happen.
She couldn't find her voice and merely watched as he slowly bent his head down closer to hers. She saw his eyes begin to shut and noticed hers doing the same, and she slightly arched her body towards his. Her heart pounded frantically in her ears, the sound slightly muffled by the blood that was rushing to her face. Her wrists tingled, her toes curled, and her stomach jumped when she felt his breath on her lips. His face was mere moments away when she found her voice.
"Ed..." she whispered. He hesitated, suddenly realizing exactly what was happening, and nearly sighed.
He couldn't do this to her, to Winry. To his best friend. To the girl he loved. He wanted her so badly, so much that it hurt, but that was just lust talking. He couldn't have her. Not now, not here, not like this. He just couldn't.
He pulled back a bit before dipping down and pressing his lips to her forehead. "Sorry," he mumbled before completely pulling away, releasing her wrists and turning to face the window again as he lay down.
Minutes ticked by and she had yet to move, staring unwaveringly at the ceiling. The blush on her face refused to dispel, and her entire body was very, very warm. Her insides were dancing and her heart was jumping all around. The mechanic opened her mouth slightly and took in a silent breath of cold air. What... she finally turned her head to look at his back. What just happened?
He was pretending to be asleep, she was sure of it. Several minutes may have passed, but there was no way he could've possibly fallen asleep after... after that. Especially not so quickly. Then, it dawned on her what he'd said.
Sorry? she thought in confusion, sitting up. She saw his muscles tense slightly at her movement. He was apologizing? Apologizing for what? But the instant she asked herself that question, she knew the answer and couldn't help but blush, a small smile inching across her lips. He was apologizing for his brash actions, because she knew -somehow, she knew that he was thinking of her. Thinking of what she wanted. And rather than simply going on and fulfilling his wants regarding her, he repressed himself for her sake. Because he knew she wasn't ready.
And she knew, then, that he had feelings for her. Feelings of some sort, even if they were only slight. Maybe not the strong feelings of love that she had for him, but they were there -something was there. And as long as something was there, there was an inkling of hope for her, for them.
She slowly moved closer and leaned over him. His eyes were closed and he seemed to be asleep, but it was all a ruse. She knew he was still awake, so she reached a hand up and gently brushed some of his golden hair away from his face. Silently, she bent down so her mouth was directly above his ear, and whispered, "It's alright."
Then, she swiftly pressed a kiss to his temple and moved back to her side of the bed, laying with her back facing him. She couldn't help but blush like a school girl. She closed her eyes and pressed an open palm to her pounding heart. And Winry couldn't hold back her smile.
Ed didn't open his eyes and refused to move, trying desperately to force down the blush on his face. And yet, he found a smile crawling onto his lips. His chest swelled with an emotion that he wasn't really familiar with.
And Edward Elric, eighteen, finally drifted off into a peaceful slumber.
End
Being a perfectionist sucks, man.
Yeah, so this is what I go through pretty much every night. Not the mushy-gushy part, mind you. The insomnia part.
Interestingly enough, I began writing this early this week. Then I got sick. Then it was my birthday and I was BUSY HAVING FUN WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS YAY. Then I had a college visit and promptly fell asleep as soon as I got home. Then my best friend left because she lives like half way across the country and her spring break was over. And then I just got lazy and realized I wanted to post this today (yesterday), but it was midnight and unfinished. And... yeah. Hmm.
:) Excuses :)
Yey for awkward blushing. And cranky Al. Because he has the right to be cranky in that situation.
Anyway, reviews are much appreciated and will be responded to (unless something serious happens in my personal life and I can't respond for a while).
Man, it's almost 4 in the morning.
I'm going to bed.
~Vee