A/N: This was written a long time ago… because of a dream I had? ... I can't remember. But now I'm typing it up so I hope you all enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that is copyrighted by someone else… except for a few volumes of manga and some DVD's… and some CD's. (I run out of creative disclaimers after a while.)

Before and Now

"Do you ever miss the battles?"

His shoulders tense but he does not look away from the spars happening just outside the window. "Sometimes," he admits, but I know better. Fighting is in his blood and his soul. Without it, he is left to stumble.

Before he stood tall and confident. Now he simply stands as a hollow shell of his former self. He had to leave his job where he had worked for years under his stepfather's watchful eye and he retreated into simple jobs that changed yearly. No matter which job he was at, he found that it didn't fit him or that it was too risky to stay because someone might recognize him. After a year or two he would give up or move on and search for the next job.

He used to train almost religiously and would demand the best of himself. Today, he merely accepts what he gives. He'll train with our children and teach our grandchild so that they can defend themselves but he never trains for his own sake or uses his energy because someone might sense it and realize that he is still alive.

Years ago he used to look forward to meeting with his friends and testing his new attacks on them. Now he only watches as they battle and thinks of ways he could but never will counter them. He'll listen as they rave about their latest challenges and offer suggestions for a quicker battle but he has no stories to tell.

Once he would gladly use his energy to help his garden thrive or surprise one of us girls with flowers for a special occasion. Now he either gardens and despairs when winter comes and destroys his work or he turns his back and leaves our youngest, Shuichi, to care.

Ever since he faked his death at the Demon World Tournament so that all his enemies from his past would leave him alone, he's been like this. There was a time when my mate was a hero, a teacher, a fighter and happy. Now he is a wanderer, a nomad, a lost soul and tortured.

As he leans on the window ledge, watching an aging Kuwabara dodge Hiei's false attacks, he reminds me of our eldest, Hideki, when I wouldn't let him play outside with the human children. I hid my son to shield him from the dangerous opinions and reactions of the human mothers and from the accident that would come from being more powerful than his playmates. My husband hides to prevent attacks towards his family, even though there are no more enemies left to try and our children can all fight as well as he could. I have told him many times that the battles for blood are over, and that demons only fight for defence and leadership now.

He only shakes his head at me and smiles as if I am a child. He doesn't seem to realize that we both have aged. From raising my children for the first few years alone, I have learned to see many things differently. In my mind I have aged, but he has stayed the same. Instead he ages physically and his strength slips away from lack of use.

He doesn't listen when I try to convince him that releasing his energy occasionally to keep himself strong wouldn't hurt. He doesn't see what he is doing to himself and he refuses to change or try. Until today.

As we walk along the deck of the temple Genkai once owned and watch our children and grandchild spar with the other ex-detectives, I ask him once again if he will join them.

He smiles that tired smile of his and shakes his head. "Not today," he says.

I nod and notice the skateboard Yoshi, our grandchild, has left on the deck close to the sparring ring. We start to walk pass the board and I trip over the edge of my kimono, shoving Kurama to the side. To be honest, I thought he would have steadied himself but he steps onto the skateboard and slips. He lands in the rink and in the destructive path of Yusuke's spirit gun.

Kuwabara and Hiei rush towards him, knowing that they won't make it in time, while Yusuke shouts at him to move. I shout him name, part of me sure that he is done for and sick at myself for my actions. If he wanted to sit around for the rest of his life, I had no right to change that. But I had tried to and now he is going to die. I want to close my eyes but I keep them open and see something that made me glad I had tripped.

At the last second, my mate dodges to the side with grace and agility he had hidden for years. The spirit gun continues on its course and rips through the forest behind the ring before it disappears into the heavens. Meanwhile, my husband is standing on shaking limbs as he looks at the trees that could have been him. He turns towards me and starts to walk back to the deck.

His friends have other ideas.

Hiei and Kuwabara rush towards him and start to attack him, forcing him to remain in the ring. He doesn't have a weapon so he is forced to dodge the many attacks. Yusuke, with a wide grin on his face, also jumps into the action, although he is trying to help Kurama fend off the other two long enough to draw a weapon. However as the fight continues, Kurama show himself to have no intentions of using his energy and Yusuke soon realizes that after giving him three chances and having them pass by unused. After the fourth chance, Yusuke changes sides and starts attacking Kurama as well.

We can all see Kurama changing as his energy changes his body to a more youthful one with slick red hair and more defined muscles. I can see in his eyes the want to use the energy that rejuvenates him but I can also see the fear of the consequences of the action. His friends continue to push him and soon Kuwabara, who had been standing gray but strong, is also standing as he was in his prime with two spirit swords in his hands. Still Kurama does not use his energy.

My eldest and youngest had been watching the fight progress and now they turns to me. At the same time they tilt their head, asking for permission to attack their father. Shuichi's red tail swishes side to side as he waits while Hideki's black ears keep twitching as he listens to the continuing battle.

I know I shouldn't but I grin and nod. They stand for a moment longer, before they lunge into the battle, aiming for their father's back. Hideki with his claws and Shuichi with his daisy whip.

The rose whip appeared literately out of nowhere, causing my boys to jump back. With a satisfied grin, Hideki walks out of the ring, dragging his whining little brother, and watches as his father counter attack with his signature weapon forcing everyone to back off for a moment. Yusuke and Kuwabara, most likely forgetting just how deadly the whip is, charge in. One with a fist clutched while the other changes his two swords into one. Kurama lets them come with his whip resting on the ground. He dodges Yusuke's attack, takes a step back, and then moves to the side with his foot out so that Kuwabara trips and falls on his face. The human shouts at Kurama, saying that he used a cheap move but we're all laughing too hard to care.

Then I notice that my husband is shrinking his weapon back into a seed and is starting to walk back to the deck. Behind him Hiei is smirking and raising his sword. With a smile on my face, I wave to my mate. He frowns and Hiei attacks. Quickly, Kurama creates a sword that is attached to his wrist. They parry for a moment before Kuwabara and Yusuke jump back into action. They force him to fight for hours until they are all drained and Hiei is the last one standing simply because he is the only one with a weapon that doesn't need spirit energy.

However, as we walk into the temple for a meal cooked by Yukina, Sakura, Keiko, and the mother of Hideki's child, I notice the fear in Kurama's eyes return as his body returns to normal, although admirably a bit younger and more muscled. The fear stays as we eat and soon retire to bed for the night. However, as we are falling to sleep, Yoshi slips into our room and speaks with his grandfather. For almost an hour he recounts the battle, emphasising his grandfather's moves and ability, and a small smile comes to Kurama's face. When our grandchild leaves, Kurama glances out the window one last time before lying beside me, thinking, planning.

The next morning when the other men go to the ring to train, he joins them and this time, I don't have to make him fall into the rink. In the Dark Tournament, it was said, "Yoko has returned, they cry." Now it can be said, "Kurama has returned so they shout with joy."

A/N: Wow that was short! And this was actually written before I wrote "Moving from Memory Lane." Or the beginning was. I kinda fixed it a bit when I was typing it up. Anyways, I really liked this! So much that I almost want to review for it myself. Although that could be taken as being arrogant so instead I'll just say I really like this because it shows that even though Kurama is back, he still is hiding for the sake of his family. I swear this will all make sense when I finish the series… which I should probably work on now… But I really want to write more of Hideki and Shuichi. I hope you enjoyed this! See ya!

Months after writing: … Reading this over the last line makes me wince. It's so cheesy. Any ideas how I can make it better?

-D101