It was silent. Completely, and uncomfortably silent. Ciel stared vacantly out through the foggy, moist glass of the window of the coach as it moved inch by inch down the seemingly endless cobblestone path, leading away from the city. Liquid red filling his thoughts to the brim, or whatever he had managed to comprehend within the past few minutes. He could still experience the vile, sour flavor in the back of his mouth. Disgusting.

Red.

Red.

Red…

Sebastian sat next to his master, just as sullen and downcast as the boy. It really was a shame such a good coat had gone to waste. Now he shall have to find a new one. One that is less prone to rips and tears. He glanced down at what used to be a white shirt. Ugh. Something else. Ruined. Tainted by the lush color that had sent his enemy spiraling in to a frenzy of dark action and obsessive behaviors… What a lovely color though. He swiped a bit from his shirt with a delicate, gloved hand. It stained the cloth, but he didn't mind at the moment, everything he was wearing was ruined anyways. He held it up to his eyes. They matched. It was dark, but he could still make it out. A dark, dark crimson. The color of a newly bloomed rose or a womans' cherry lips. It was still wet from the previous accident. It hadn't dried yet. Stubborn. It will be easier to wash out at least. But the rip across the chest was a whole other issue….

Ciel sighed, closing his eyes. Trying to erase the memory of what had just occurred not but a few moments ago. He didn't want to believe it. It wasn't true. The last person that loved him. That last person that really cared about him. The last of his family…was dead. Gone. Her face appeared to his minds eye. A smart cunning looking face. Thin, slender nose and perfect red lips that accompanied a divine smile. The scarlet dress with the tight, upper corset looking top and red ruffled at the bottom. It had matched her so well. Bright ruby eyes. There was always something about those eyes. The way they looked at him. Almost seeing right through to the heart of the child. Through his wall. Through his mask. And that hair. That bright red hair. Cropped short with uneven bangs. Some which hung unattractively over her eyes, the longest in the center, the shortest on the sides. …It looked as if she had allowed a three year old to cut it. He always hated her haircut. She should have grown it out. It did not look lady like at all…but it was her. It was definitely her.

Sebastian crossed his legs impatiently. There was so much to do when they finally made it home. Dinner hadn't even been started yet. He glanced down at Ciel. His mind began wandering. Away from his ripped shirt and uncooked diner, and back to the coach. Back to the moment. Back to the Young Lord. His crimson yes fell onto the boy sitting beside him. His chest tightened uncomfortably. The boy looked so…so gone. As if he was simply an empty shell. His head rested on the glass of the window, arm hanging limp. There was no expression. NO emotion. Like a doll. His eyes continued to examine the boy when he realized, Ciel had been twisting the sapphire ring on his thumb since they had gotten into the carriage. Consciously or not.

"You're being unusually quiet," said the butler, "this is not like you, My Lord."

Ciel didn't respond to the man. This truly was not like him at all. Of course, with what he had just gone through, he wouldn't have expected him to be completely fine afterwards…but he hadn't expected him to be so traumatized…or upset. Whichever human emotion he must have been feeling at the time. Humans really were confusing.

"My lord?" he stated again. Still no answer. Silence. This was odd, and it made Sebastian slightly … uncomfortable. He would have at least expected the boys' big, blue orbs to look his way, even for a fraction of a quarter of a second. But there was nothing. Nothing towards him.

"My lord." He said again, his voice coming from somewhere deep within his chest. This time he got a reaction, just not the one that he had hoped for. The boy turned away from him. Sebastian continued to stare are the back of the child's head. Perhaps he would notice he was still staring and turn to face him. But the butlers' thoughts were stilled. He wasn't turn. And he wasn't going to. Ciel couldn't let Sebastian, his butler, see him like this. So weak and … and childish.

Disgraceful.

Disgusting.

He closed his eyes.

Control.

Control

But the brooding image of her returned, more vivid than before. Visions of the woman exploded in his mind, corrupting his senses. He saw her, lying on the cold cobblestone. Crimson blood seeping from the gaping, ragged hole in her chest, dripping down her neck and arms, pulled by the heavy force of gravity that he felt pulling on his heart upon witnessing this vile scene. It stained her already red dress, staining it with the color she so despised. Trickling through the cracks of the cobblestones like red, red wine. Morphing their color. The color of blood. The color of hate. The color of her. The poor boys eyes shot open, a gasping breath exploding from his lungs.

"Are you alright, my lord?" shouted Sebastian, seemingly losing his cool for a moment. Ciel placed a shaking hand over his eyes, hiding them behind flesh and shadow. Breath.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

He could not see him like this. He would not. "My lord." uttered Sebastian, his voice was calm. Ciel envied the demon. How quickly and smoothly he could regain his composure, as if nothing ever happened… Ciel allowed it to wash over him. It was smooth and southing, like the touch of a gentle hand on your shoulder when you cry. But there was still something. A tense air about him that was not normally there. Or, if it was, it was never noticeable. Was he concerned? No. For what reason would he worry? Ciel didn't answer. He couldn't speak.

"My lord." The nerves were back. Ciel could hear them in his voice. His voice only made it clear the Ciels' doubts only proved to be reality. "What happened?' inquired the

Butler, removing the boys hand away from his face. The boy glanced up at him for a moment… before turning his head. They're red. His eyes. His crimson eyes. His crimson red eyes.

Red.

Red.

Red.

Pain.

…Longing.

"I'm…I'm fine." Replied Ciel. Sebastian stared at him for a moment, a quizzical glint reflecting in his dangerous eyes. His multicolored eyes glistened with tears. Crying. He was… crying? Ciel Phantomhive did not cry…at least not in front of him. He looked on as the poor boy tried everything in his power to avert his eyes from his own. But Sebastian kept his eyes on him, regardless of how uncomfortable it made him.

"Master," spoke Sebastian, attempting to add a bit of humor to lighten the mood, "You're not going soft on me now are you?" The tops of Ciel's brows fell together close just above his small, button nose. One thin eyebrow disappearing behind the black eye cover. The small boy shook his head back and forth quickly, making his little mop of brow hair whip back and forth about his head. Why was he doing that? But then Sebastian began to catch on. For a split second when Ciel ceased moving his head in such a childish, erratic manor. He saw his lower lip quivering. Sebastian had only seen a young child do that. Well, then again, he supposed, in reality, even though he acted so old, he was only a young child after all.

"My Lord," said Sebastian, a wicked grin plastered on his face, "Are you revealing your weak side to—"

"Leave me." Spat Ciel, his voice like venom. Sebastian looked slightly taken aback. His yes flashed with a foreign emotion.

"Sir?" Ciel glanced over at the taken aback butler.

"You heard me," he said, his voice shameful, "leave me be."

"But my lord," recoiled Sebastian, "Where am I-"

"I said leave me be!" shouted Ciel. Sebastian sighed. What a difficult little morsel this boy was. Sebastian ran a gloved hand through his hair. "Yes, my Lord."

Ciel did not say a word, or even move. Not even a twitch when Sebastian shouted for the coachman to pull over or to the click of the lock on the coach door shut behind him. Seconds passed by. One. Two. Three. Finally, the coach jumped back into movement once again.

Ciel sat, hand still covering his features, trying his best to hold back the salty tears that formed in the deep blue eyes of his. Breathe in. out. In. out. He found himself beginning to match his breathing patterns with the rhythmic sound of the horses' shoes against the beaten dirt path they were gliding down. Rhythmic and calming. Just like a heartbeat feels. Sounds. Her heartbeat.

His fist clenched and twisted into the upholstery of the seat. No. with quick hard movements like that of an old broken down machine, Ciel swung his legs onto the soft cushions of the seat and glued his eyes to the window. Don't think about it. Composure. The head of the Phantomhive family does not cry. Will not cry.

Ciel took another long, drawn out breath. Yet it didn't go away. The emptiness in the pit of his stomach would not fill. Holes do not repair themselves. His fist tightened once more. No, he thought. He would not get upset. He would not cry. Not for her. She was lost to begin with! She was insane. She was a killer. Killers have, deserve, no sympathy. They will not get it. She will not get it. She was not the same person he knew…

She was not the person who would come and visit just to check up on him. She was not the person who flirted, indiscreetly, with his butler and then begged him to train her own. Or... Who would tell Sebastian, each and every damn time she left the house to "never leave his side." He knew. He had heard her say it several times when she thought he wasn't around. She was no longer the woman who would play his ridicules games with I'm, or come for tea, inviting herself, just for the hell of it. She was no longer the woman who coddled him as if he were two… and told him how much she loved him. No that person was gone. Almost as if she never existed.

A sob escaped his mouth. He quickly covered it. No! No! No! He squeezed his eyes shut. No! No! No! … Suddenly the cab lurched and rocked violently, as if being tossed in an ocean filled with angry waves. Ciel couldn't register the motion quick enough to realize he needed to hold onto something. The violent rocking of the carriage knocked Ciel off balance. Startled, he groped for a hold on the colored upholstery of the seat he was resting on, but he wasn't quick enough. With a terrifying ripping sound and a sudden shooting pain in his hand Ciel tumbled from the seat to the carriage floor with a loud thump and agonized scream. There was a loud sound of something smashing into the hard wood surface as an agonizing pain shooting through the back of his head. That was it. With one gasping sob, it all spilled out. It hurt. It hurt so much. The pain in his head. The pain in his heart.

He felt the coach stop, but Ciel remained oblivious. Curling himself into a ball, attempting to calm himself. But the more he tried, the worse it became. The coach door opened as a surprised Sebastian stood in the doorway.

"M-My Lord?" he said. Ciel didn't answer. He didn't trust his voice. Sebastian tilted his heat, raven bangs falling in front of his pale face. He gazed at the pitiful thing lying on the ground before him. So human. "My Lord." He said again, gently this time. He leaned his upper body into the carriage, bending over so his face was just a fingers length away from the boys' ear. "My Lord, you may want to-" but he was cut off by a sob. Sebastian was clueless. What was going on… had he actually… lost it? No. he couldn't believe it, but yet. It was right there in front of him. Ciel Phantomhive, the queens' loyal guard dog, was crying. And not just crying. Sobbing. His breath came in gasps as tears poured down his face.

"My Lord?" he questioned again, he felt as if his voice was caught in his throat. Ciel hear the worry in his butlers' voice. It sounded so genuine. ..

Ciel felt a gentle hand on his shoulder, his heart constricted. A strong arm followed the hand around his body, but Ciel was faster. With one quick movement, Ciel launched himself from the floor and latched onto his butler, his sobs turning into shouts of agony and pain and loss. Sebastian was stunned, but he managed to shake the feeling when a new feeling rose in his chest. Pity and worry overtook and disintegrated the surprise as he wrapped his arms around the small boy.

"…My Lord." Sebastian whispered as another sob ripped out of the poor boy, causing his to cough and sputter miserably. Picking up the small boy, Sebastian managed to crawl back into the cab. He placed the small boy on the seat and leapt back out of the door. Ciel watched him leave before more tears came and he placed his face in his hands. He did not see the butler come back in and shut the door behind him as the coach began moving once more. Sebastian took a moment to look at the small, broken boy in front of him.

Ciels sobs echoed in his mind as he watched the boys hands tighten on his face. He looked almost as if he were clawing at his face. Sebastian watched until his masters knuckles were ghost white, then, really fearing something was going to happen, Sebastian reached out and grabbed his master's hands. "Master, please." He said, Ciel looked at him for a moment. Blue met Crimson. Worry met defeat. In a fraction of a second, Ciels arms were back around Sebastians' neck. Sobs completely wracking his body causing him to shake and convulse. Sebastian's worry grew.

Sebastian delicately picked up the broken boy and sat to down on a seat, Ciel still clinging to his neck. He felt the warm wet tears against his neck as the boy cried helplessly into his butlers shoulder. "Breath, Master. Just Breath." He said. Ciel attempted to take a breath, but he just ended up coughing and sputtering painfully. Sebastian pressed the base of his palm between the boys shoulder blades and rubbed gently attempting to sooth the boy.

"I've lost everything!" shouted Ciel, clenching a fist full of Sebastian's jacket. Sebastian blinked a few times in confusion. "My Lord?"

"It's all gone! They're all gone! There's no one left…" more sobs wracked his body as Sebastian help him tighter. So much pain. So much loss. Delicious.

"Not everyone, My Lord. Not Everyone." Whispered Sebastian, holding the little boy as the carriage continued down the beaten path in the pouring rain.