Being a hero isn't all it's made up to be. There's no cheering crowd praising your heroic deeds. There's no attractive admirer to fall in love with and whisk away into the sunset. And there's certainly no happy ending.

Life goes on, the same as before, and no one really notices the things you've done to help. Only what you couldn't do. The bad outweighs the good, no matter how positive you want to be. There will always be more evil to fight. Always.

The lives you manage to save help to cope with the ones you've lost, the things you missed. The wrong choices you made at the wrong times. But nothing will ever change the fact that you can't win all the time. And it hurts.

There is no such thing as perfect. No one knows what to do all the time, and no one could ever expect every life to be saved. But even knowing that, every loss tears you up inside. Until little by little, those tears become loose gaps. And those gaps become pieces. And when those pieces finally become detached and fall apart, there's nothing left but a raw emptiness.

That's what being a hero is about. Not gaining fame and glory and love for my heroic deeds. Not falling in love and earning a happily ever after, but doing what I can do to help society and hope the things I see every day won't ultimately break me.

There are days I just want to curl up in my bed in my lonely little apartment and just stay there until the world becomes a less painful place to be. Wait on a world where guns were replaced by flowers and pain and insanity and murderers didn't exist. A world that could never be real.

And then, when I don't think I could dig any deeper into my hole, I look at their faces. Dad and Charlie, Larry and Amita, and of course David and Terry. All smiling affectionately and welcoming me with open arms. And I don't feel so lost anymore.

I know I'm home, and this is where I belong. Not in some other world that would never exist. Here, on this earth, protecting the people I love.

No. Being a hero isn't all it's made up to be. But even with the pain and guilt that lays heavily on my conscience, seeing the smiling faces of my big dysfunctional family looking so proud of what I do makes it all worth it.

Their smiling faces are all worth it.

Just a little one-shot I cooked up when I got bored and felt like writing something Numb3rs related (season 1 centric). I'm sure there's going to be some Don&Charlie fluff eventually. I'm such a sucker for these big brother-little brother relationship shows, and Charlie stole my heart the moment I rediscovered the series and actually gave it a chance. :) Unfortunately I was never really interested in the show until after it was canceled. Lol just my luck. BUT lucky for me I know where I can find episodes online to watch~!

Anyway, hope you enjoyed my little ficlet. :) Reviews are always appreciated!