So . . . yeah this is my first fanfiction, not to mention my first homosexual twincest story . . . which I guess is a good thing, right? ;D The storyline might not be entirely original, but my style is.

I know that Hikaru is the "pitcher" in the relationship and that Kaoru is the "receiver," but it is a huge pet peeve of mine when Kaoru is portrayed as such an innocent weakling compared to Hikaru! So, in this fanfiction, I attempted to make them a little more . . . realistic, I guess would be the word? Both Hikaru AND Kaoru are weak when it comes to their feelings for the other, which can only be expected, and Kaoru isn't as innocent as people think, which you can probably gather from the first word of the story. ;D

Okay, so please review. Tell me how I did. I really tried to make this story make sense, but it may be one of those times when it turns out like hell.

Warnings: Strong language at times and scenes of passion. This is also a Yaoi. Don't like it? Don't read it!

I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of its characters, although I really wish I did. XD

Kaoru:

"Shit," Kaoru muttered, trying to comprehend what to do next. The gash on his palm was deep and bleeding profusely, but he just stood there. He knew what he was supposed to do to stop the bleeding, clean the wound, make the pain go away . . . but there was no pain. In fact, it was the lack of pain that shocked him, not the massive amount of blood now pouring from his hand.

"Shit," he said a little louder, still not moving to help himself. He had heard about those people who intentionally hurt themselves to alleviate internal pain, and he had no desire to become one of them. Sure, his heart ached, but he wasn't going to start cutting or burning or hurting himself in any other form or fashion to make it go away.

"Shit!" he shouted for a third time. After finally coming to the conclusion that he did not want to be hurt, the deep cut in his palm startled him, and he ran to the bathroom. Kaoru thrusted his injury under the running faucet and, without thinking, splashed half of a bottle of hydrogen peroxide over it.

He shouted more colorful swear words, some of which he didn't even know the meaning of, and cringed horribly before deciding he should probably bandage his hand somehow. He found some gauze in the cabinet and decided that was good enough.

"You okay, Kaoru?" he heard a familiar voice ask as he was walking out of the bathroom. He looked up and saw his brother Hikaru leaning against the opposite wall with a smirk. "I don't even know what some of those words mean."

"To be honest, neither do I," Kaoru replied with an identical grin. "I'm fine. Just a scratch."

Hikaru raised an eyebrow, and his air of humor vanished completely. " 'Just a scratch,' huh? A scratch is no cause for such imaginative profanity."

"Maybe not, but I accidentally poured, like, an entire bottle of hydrogen peroxide on it. Believe it or not, that hurts."

Hikaru still looked suspicious, but he let it slide for the time being. "Okay, I believe you," he said, walking towards the door with his hands behind his head.

"Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"Oh, Haruhi and I are going to see some new movie tonight. I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I left."

His brother's casual tone make Kaoru's heart break. He didn't sound exactly happy about seeing "some new movie" with Haruhi, but he was going. And he had used such a light tone, almost as if he didn't know. . . .

Which, he didn't. And Kaoru wanted to keep it that way.

"Oh, okay, then," Kaoru replied, acting as nonchalant as possible. "Have fun."

Hikaru's manner changed entirely. "Hey, are you okay?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

Half of Kaoru wanted to tell him, the half that his heart controlled, but his mind refused. It was better if Hikaru remained completely ignorant. Kaoru wasn't so naive as to think that it could remain a secret forever - Hikaru knew him too well for that - but this was not the time to tell him.

So he said with a forced smile, "Yeah, I'm fine. My hand just hurts a little; that's all." Lies.

"Why don't you try putting melaluca oil on it? It should numb the pain." It was obvious that Hikaru was still concerned, but again, he let it go as he walked out the door.

As soon as his brother was out of sight, Kaoru sighed and muttered, "I'm a freak."

Hikaru:

"Are you okay, Hikaru? You seem distracted."

It took some time for Haruhi's voice to penetrate Hikaru's thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah! I'm fine!" Hikaru threw in a small laugh that probably came off as more nervous than nonchalant.

Haruhi sighed. "You don't have to lie. I get it: You're worried."

"What? Worried? What in the world would give you that impression?" But what he thought was, Damn. Am I really that readable?

"You've never been on a date before, right? If it makes you feel any better, neither have I. Right now, we're just two friends going to the movies. Okay?"

Hikaru breathed a sigh of relief. Haruhi thought he was nervous about the date? She might be a smart girl, but she still couldn't read him as well as Kaoru. Well . . . to be fair, nobody could. Which scared him a little, because if Kaoru could read him like an open book, how much could he figure out?

"Sounds good to me," Hikaru finally replied, attempting to act casual. Haruhi smiled, and he knew he had succeeded. If only he could lie as well as Kaoru . . .

Dammit! Why did Kaoru always find a way into his thoughts? It was freaking irritating at times like these, when he was trying to not focus on his brother.

Of course, Hikaru knew the answer to that question, but he hoped it wasn't true. Maybe this date would change things . . . ?

Scientists say that humans only use twenty percent of their brains, and somewhere in the unused eighty percent, Hikaru knew that no matter how many dates he went on, nothing would change. But he didn't want to believe it, so he stored that knowledge in the darkness, never to be seen again. Hopefully.

Hikaru didn't actually watch the movie. His mind was elsewhere, wondering what exactly Kaoru was doing at this point in time.

Kaoru:

Turns out, Kaoru was doing the exact same thing: Wondering what Hikaru was doing. Surely, he was still at the theater; he only left an hour ago.

"What the freak?" Kaoru sighed aloud. "What is wrong with me? It's a Friday night, and I'm sitting here wondering what my brother is doing."

But the reality was that Kaoru had no place to go, so he continued to sit and wonder until boredom had completely overtaken him. He glanced at the clock: 9:24. It was early for a weekend, but having nothing else to do, Kaoru decided to retire.

It was late September, but the air was prematurely chilled. Instead of piling on covers of various degrees of insulation, he only used a thin, white sheet to protect him from the cold. He held a slim hope that Hikaru would come home and . . . well, he wasn't really sure. Now that he thought it out, Kaoru knew that Hikaru would chastise him silently before covering them both with a quilt.

"Idiot," he muttered. Still, he made no move to drag a quilt over to the bed, even as the chilly autumn air seemed though the thin layer of cotton that, for now, was his only protection. It wasn't that cold. . . .

After attempting to convince himself out of using another sheet, Kaoru let his mind wander for a while before sleep finally claimed him.

Hikaru:

The movie ended at 9:45, but Hikaru did not get home until 10:30. Part of the delay was the drive home, but most of it was that Haruhi wanted to talk. Mostly about what was bugging him. Hikaru's absentmindedness during the movie had not escaped her notice, but she finally let the topic go after being told that he was just stressed about mid-terms.

She didn't believe him; that much was obvious, but she let it go anyway.

Hikaru returned home entirely exhausted for some reason or another. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed. Half of him hoped that Kaoru was asleep so he wouldn't have to talk about his "date" with Haruhi. The other half couldn't wait to see Kaoru's face, hear his voice, gaze into his intense amber eyes. The former half won out, and sure enough, Kaoru was sleeping when Hikaru entered the room.

Again, he found himself torn between emotions: 1) Relief that he wouldn't have to talk about his night, 2) Mild disappointment that he would not be able to hear his brother's voice again tonight, and 3) Kaoru always waited for Hikaru to go to bed, and vice-versa. Something must really be eating at him, because he was passed out cold, probably for some time.

Careful to not disturb Kaoru's sleep, Hikaru climbed into their bed next to him. It briefly occurred to Hikaru to . . . somehow warm Kaoru, but instead he simply chastised his younger brother silently and pulled a quilt over the both of them.

They both had nightmares that night. Hikaru dreamed that Kaoru had been in a terrible car accident and was comatose for three months. Kaoru dreamed that Hikaru was devoured by a giant tuna. The dream was strange, sure, but also terrifying. Both twins woke up at various times in the night, and before long both the sheet and the quilt lay in a heap on the floor.

How did I do for the first chapter? Short, I know. I'm sorry. T^T

I'm not one of those asses who demands a certain number of reviews before posting another chapter, but reviews might help motivate/inspire me, so fire away! I will post the next chapter as soon as I'm finished with it. ;D