Gay, Straight, and Experimenting

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or its characters; I just like to play with them.

He kind of feels like a dick when he gets back from the bathroom and Rachel is gone. Kurt is standing in her place though, smiling so hard that Blaine is reminded of the Cheshire Cat for the first since he was twelve.

"Where'd Rachel go?" He scans the café for any sign of the girl, but no matter how hard he looks he knows she won't be there.

"She skittered out of here like a scolded puppy," Kurt shrugs. "It's really for the best, Blaine. Now she'll get over you and go back to pining over straight guys again."

"You don't think I hurt her feelings, do you? I know she's a good friend of yours; I'd hate for her to think I'm a jerk." He worries his bottom lip with his teeth in thought, but Kurt's sharp laugh pulls him back to the here and now.

"Listen, when it comes to Rachel Berry you have nothing to worry about. She's a somewhat obnoxiously bright ball of sunshine no matter what happens to her, so even if she is upset just give it a couple days and she'll be chatting you up in no time. Platonically, of course."

"So I just wait?" Blaine asks, unable to hide to disbelieving tilt in his voice. He might not know a lot about girls but not doing anything seems to be a little too… simple.

Kurt frowns at Blaine's skeptical tone and nods. "That's what I said." And really, he can't help it that he's still a little bit peeved at the girl. They're friends, sure, but she also tried to take his crush away – again, might he add – so it's not technically his fault if he doesn't want the two of them talking for a few days.

But Blaine is still frowning so he nudges the boy with his elbow and nods towards the counter. "Your turn to order I think. And then we're off to practice for Regionals, right?"

Blaine grins then and nods enthusiastically. "I can't believe Regionals is so close. We've still got a ways to go if we're going to beat the competition though."

He doesn't think about her again until late that night, when he's pulling his school uniform off. His cellphone is staring him down from where he tossed it on the bed when he came in. Rachel hasn't texted or called him all day. Which makes sense, he knows, because they aren't together anymore. But he had kind of hoped for some sort of confirmation that everything was still cool between them.

Surely she can't hate him because he's gay? She knew that from the start. The booze filled blur of last week had been a roller coaster ride for everybody – thrilling and fun while it lasted but once it stopped the mediocrity of reality settled back in. He can't help that he's into boys, although making out with Rachel had been nice too. It wasn't that much different from kissing guys, but at the same time it was still different somehow. He can't quite pinpoint why now though, and he kind of wishes that he had been sober for at least one of their heated make out sessions.

If he doesn't hear from her in a week, then he'll approach her about it. But that might be too long to wait if she's mad. It'll give her too much time to simmer. So maybe he'll give it three days. It's almost half of a week, right? But what if she's sad? She couldn't possibly be torn up about their breaking up could she? It was a tiny bit abrupt he admits, but still, there's no way she could be crying right now. Right?

Oh to hell with it, he's going to see her tomorrow.

He still has his Dalton uniform on when he knocks on her door.

The silence from inside the house seems to grow as he waits for a response. There are a few lights on in the house though and a car in the driveway so he knows someone has to be home. He raises his hand to try knocking again when the door finally opens.

He did not expect to see Rachel smiling brightly up at him, so all he can think of to say is, "hi there."

"Hello to you as well. I wasn't expecting company today. Is Kurt here too?"

She's looking around for the smaller boy, craning her neck to see behind Blaine like she really expects to find him there. He just shakes his head. "Nah, it's just me. Can I come in?"

She looks a little confused, an eyebrow arching in surprise. "I do suppose that you can," she says, moving back and pulling the door open wider.

"Thanks."

She closes the door behind him and motions for him to follow her as she leads the way to her room. "You'll have to excuse the disarray," she warns when they enter, but Blaine doesn't know what she's talking about because her room seems pretty spotless in his opinion. There aren't any daunting piles of clothes on the floor and everything seems to be in its rightful place. There's a text book lying open on her desk with a notebook and pencil resting next to it and for lack of better conversation material, he points at it.

"Doing homework?"

Her eyes follow the direction his finger is pointing and she nods. "I make it a point to do my homework a few days in advance so that I can devote all of my weekend to practicing for dance and Glee. It may seem rather monotonous but I assure you that it's a well tried and proven solution for maintaining a busy academic and social lifestyle."

"No, I'm sure you know what you're doing," he replies.

"So to what do I owe the honor of your visit today?" she asks, pulling her desk chair closer to the bed to sit down. She pats the bed as an invitation for him to sit and he obliges before answering. She looks okay and she doesn't sound angry, so maybe he was just imagining it after all. But he still has to ask, just to be sure.

"Well you left pretty quick the other day, so I just wanted to make sure that you were alright."

"You disappeared a little hastily yourself if I remember correctly," she counters. "Didn't Kurt tell you that I had some other business to attend to? I assumed that he would. But don't you worry, Blaine Anderson, because I am perfectly fine. In fact, I'm better than fine- I'm enlightened! I've been trying to search out real life scenarios that may aid in my newest endeavor of song writing and our whole intoxicated amour certainly assisted me beyond my expectations!"

Blaine's brain struggles to keep up with her fast-paced explanation. Had she talked this much when they went out? If so, he doesn't remember it. "I guess Kurt forgot to mention it," he murmurs. "So we're cool then?" he asks uncertainly, because he's pretty sure that's what she meant but he's spent so much time in the past twenty-four hours worrying that he's paranoid he might misinterpret her words.

"Of course we are," she smiles, reaching out to pat his arm. "Although I must confess that I had high hopes for our relationship while it lasted. I thought that maybe if we stayed together then you could accompany me to the prom this year. We'd look absolutely fabulous together in formal wear, I should think. And then eventually I would have given you my as of yet unsoiled virginity as a passionate token of our love. We would have gone on to sing a myriad of duets together. It would have been a great romance," she sighs dreamily.

She's staring off into space, and Blaine wishes she hadn't said anything about sex because now he might just be wondering what Rachel Berry would be like in bed. Not necessarily because it's her, but because she's a girl and he's pretty sure that sex with her would be an entirely different experience then the sex he's had with guys. He remembers the subtle, alcohol-hazy differences in kissing both genders. And he may not be questioning his sexuality any longer but that doesn't mean that he can't be curious, does it?

Even so, he doubts that Rachel would be down with the idea of experimentation just for his sake, especially if she's still a virgin.

When someone yells Rachel's name, Blaine is so startled that he nearly falls off of the bed. She responds with a "be there in a second!" before laughing at him. "It's just Dad," she explains. "Dinner must be ready. Would you care to join us? My dads always cook enough so that I can carry the leftovers to school for lunch – McKinley has quite the atrocious options we it comes to vegan cuisine – so it won't be troublesome."

"Thanks, but I should probably be heading back. It's getting late and there's school tomorrow…"

Rachel bobs her head in agreement and walks him back to the front door. "I understand, entirely. A good night's sleep is incredibly important in order to be efficiently functional throughout a tiresome school day. I appreciate you stopping by though, and I'm sure my dads will be ecstatic to see that my social circle is, indeed, expanding."

"Always a pleasure to help out a friend."

She smiles and thanks him and he isn't really sure what else to say so he leaves her with, "if you need anything, you have my number."

"Anything? That's quite open ended," she teases.

"From math homework and cats stuck in trees to boys and sex, you have my word," he winks.

She laughs and shakes her head. "Well thank you, Blaine," she chuckles, "but my dinner is probably getting cold so… I'll see you later?"

"Sounds good. Bye Rach." He waves as he leaves and she waves back.

He doesn't think any more about what he said until that weekend, when he gets a call from Rachel. He's surprised to see her name flash on the screen, and he can hear the emotion reflected in his voice as he answers.

"So I've given it a lot of consideration and I believe I've come to a definitive conclusion." She's talking even faster than usual this morning.

"Come to a conclusion about what?" He's utterly confused to say the least. He had still been asleep when the phone's ringing woke him up, so his brain isn't quite willing to grasp any form of conversation yet.

"The other day, when you said that if I needed something, anything at all, then I could turn to you. Did you mean it?"

"Sure, I guess. Is this you calling in a favor?"

"Yes, actually. I was wondering, well, could you help me? I've been carrying this burden around for my entire life, and while I'm not exactly sure why social protocol dictates that doing so makes you any less of a woman I find myself metaphorically crushed under the weight of my peers' taunts and jeers at every turn. And normally I wouldn't bend to the will of their mentally challenged ways, but I think that the experience might actually help me for the better, if you get where I'm going with all of this."

Blaine is starting to think that maybe he shouldn't have answered the phone at all because he still has no idea what this girl is trying to get at. "I'd be happy to help you out, but what exactly is it that you need me to do?"

"I want to offer you my virginity, no strings attached." Blaine doesn't have time to respond before she plows forward with an explanation. "I know you aren't batting for my team, but that's the beauty of it. I won't have to worry about you breaking my heart a few weeks later when you decide to drop me for a more attractive, less goal-oriented girl. Since we aren't in a relationship anyway and this will only be a one-time thing, it'll give me the chance of exposure to the experience without having to worry about regret or heartbreak. Plus, when my dads were talking to me about relationships Daddy mentioned that even though he had liked guys he had still been curious about sex with girls for a while, so this could be an excellent opportunity for you as well. You're a good guy too, so I know there won't be any foul play. So what do you say? Please?"

"Yeah… sure. I'll, uh, text you after I get out of the shower," he promises. It's not the most eloquent of replies but he's also been awake for less than five minutes.

There's a high pitched squeal from the other end of the line that causes Blaine to jerk the phone away from his ear followed by a muffled goodbye and the click of the phone call ending. He drops the phone onto the covers and scrubs the palms of his hands over his face.

He really needs some coffee.

He expects it to be awkward when Rachel takes his hand and tugs him to her room, but it's not. The atmosphere between them is surprisingly pleasant.

"So where are your fathers?" Blaine asks. And he's rather happy that he can use the word father in a plural tense. It's pretty awesome.

"They always go grocery shopping on Saturdays. And I may or may not have convinced them that they should go see a cinematic production before facing the task of gathering the week's food supply, so they should be gone for quite some time."

Well that's that. And Blaine isn't sure how to proceed from there so instead of thinking he just closes the gap between them and captures her lips in a gentle kiss. There are no fireworks and it lacks that certain zing he gets when he kisses one of his boyfriends, but there's still a certain appeal to it all.

She's small under his hands as he maneuvers her to the bed and he wonders how straight guys handle this all the time when it feels like he's going to break her if he's not careful. And she's impossibly soft. Her shirt is off now and he can't stop running his hands along her belly and sides. He's used to abs, skin pulled taut over the muscles that are hard under his fingers, not a stretch of silky soft canvas.

And then there are the breasts. Rachel's are small compared to some of the bosom's he's seen bouncing underneath blouses, but they fit perfectly in his hands and shouldn't that really be the point anyway? Rachel moans against his mouth when he keeps stroking her and she's unbuttoned his shirt in order to get better access to the warm skin underneath. He's wearing a blue button down shirt for once, instead of his school uniform, and Rachel thinks he pulls the color off quite well. She has one hand tangled in his short hair when he unzips her skirt.

"New territory for both of us now," he whispers in her ear. She shivers underneath him as his breath tickles her skin. He understands the basics well enough, but sex ed classes and articles online are never like dealing with the real thing. He feels clumsy at first, not used to dealing with nether regions that aren't similar to his own. She's wet against his fingers as he rubs her with unskilled motions. He gains confidence when she starts to react, arching her back and biting back incoherent sounds. He slides a single finger inside her and feels her nails biting into his shoulders as she braces herself.

"Relax," he soothes, waiting until he feels the tension melt from her body before he inserts a second finger. She feels almost too tight against him and he feels like he's back in more familiar territory as he takes his time to loosen her up some more.

His slacks have grown uncomfortably tight and he kisses her once more before he moves away to take them off. He pulls the condom from his pocket before he tosses them aside. Rachel is waiting for him when he crawls back over to her, face flushed and eyes scared.

"Is it going to hurt?" Her voice is tiny and uncertain.

"I think so, but if it does just let me know. We can stop whenever you want, okay?" He pets her hair and she smiles.

He encourages her to relax again before he enters her, moving slow and watching her face for any signs of discomfort. He freezes when she clamps her bottom lip between her teeth and squeezes her eyes shut. "I-I'm okay, just wait a second." She signals him with a nod when the pain ebbs away and he buries himself further inside. He keeps his thrusts slow but rhythmic at first, watching for the signs of distress to completely disappear before he moves any faster.

She starts moving underneath him, hips rocking against his and he increases the tempo without thinking. The sensations of having sex with a girl are categorically different then the sex he's used to, but it's not so different that he can't see the similarities. And he's probably going to have red scratches along his shoulders and back for the next week, but he likes the sharp tingle they leave when she tightens her grip on him.

He climaxes with a final thrust, the gratifying burst of pleasure exploding from within and curling in his stomach like a hot drink on a cold day. He lies still for a few moments before he opens his eyes and moves to sit on the edge of her bed. He's still a little breathless and all Rachel can think to say is, "wow." Blaine grins at the compliment. And he has to admit, the sex was actually quite nice compared to some encounters he's had. When Rachel sits up, her hair is sticking in all kinds of unnatural directions. It's kind of cute.

They both notice the blood on the blanket then and Rachel looks unbearably embarrassed. She starts stumbling over an apology, because there's probably blood on him too and she really didn't know that that would happen and she's reallyreally sorry. Blaine simply chuckles and reaches out to snag her arm so he can pull her to him. He hugs Rachel to his side and rests his head on hers. Her hair still smells a little like the fruity shampoo she uses, but now it's mixed with the musky scent of sweat.

"It's alright. It's normal," he tells her. That's what the internet and his straight guy friends tell him anyway. "Let's just clean up, yeah?" Rachel nods and he excuses himself to the bathroom to wash up and hide the condom in the bottom of the trash can while she carries her comforter down to shove it in the washing machine.

And if there's one thing that Blaine has learned from all of this, it's that he is probably maybe gay.

END